He doesn't see
Her as an angel
The one she used to be
He see's her true colors
A false rainbow she tries to be

Pretend that you help me, oh yeah, you already do.
Slip on these clothes and drench yourself in your silly perfume,
cause there's nothing really left of you.
Smile towards others so it puts yourself at ease,
honestly, your only excuse is being lonely.
A pair of glasses is quite useless without both lens,
For that could be why you can't seem to see your tricks.
In your head you're always right,
that is why the sensibility has left,
which you've cramed with false sympathy.
You used to be so generous and your smile so bright,
who took it? who took your left eye?
you still seem to sleep at night after all you do,
i'm not sure what allows you to pursue.
Forget all the things you promised me before,
in fact, forget me completely, it's not like you can see me,
A memory, i'm nothing more.
I wish I could evince this behavior to you,
yet, you surely wouldn't care if it were shown through,
A sympathetic ambiance simply used for a disguise,
Who took it? Who took your left eye?

I have lost my heart even before i could give it to anyone,
Lost behind these tears that fall
Faded in empty promises and hopes
Abused and pushed beyond its capabilities
And all it wanted was lustful peace
All that is left is a cold empty bed
And a phantom feeling of someone who i will never hold again.

How do I say its not going to work out? How do I just randomly break his heart when I honestly care so much about him?

"He's my LORD" I will tell him,"You know our earthly love cannot compare."

I feel he is allowed me to stray from you oh LORD, for he tempts me so much.

But what do I do? Do i just come out and say it? Do I let the throat cutting words that slip from my lips  be as simple as,"Excuse me, do you know the time?"

And the worst part of it is the selfless soul dwelling with in me. I have given too much, and so much so that my own skin is growing thinner and thinner. My insides slowly disappear every time I offer you something.

I am dying.

I have been giving ever piece of myself to you completely, and I can't take it. And the thing is, my body is already so weak that it makes it so much harder for the words I need to tell you to even reach my lips.

You are the collector of my insides, trapper, hunter, and experimenter.

Your check list is almost filled up along with the shelves stacked high with jars of me. Pretty soon, my soul will be wrapped around your finger, and I am certain that will be the ultimate death of me.

"Oh LORD, please hear my thoughts. Save my soul from this false love and take me home again where I can be consumed in your grace."

If at all that is possible.

-Julia Aubrey Rhodes-

how can i take the sun and crumble it between my finger tips,
or master the earthquakes and pin point their movements-
swallowing the earth in blood and fire-
preventing me from falling back into the slow jaws of fate.

like a wall i cannot hide
you spring out from my inside
hiding all my fears
concealing all my tears

you are a blank white sheet
something I put up in a heartbeat
you cover up my imperfections
things I see with no affection

a sweet sweet lie I live to tell
and only people who know me well
have seen behind this thick façade
and love me, even though im flawed

dear façade, you know me well
please let me go, let me break my shell

keep ******* with my mind
i hope it rots you out from the inside
that is, if you have any shred of humanity left inside of that box you live in
keep playing the selfless and innocent roadside victim
your clean and pure palms are so deceiving when you hold out your hands
only i can see the dirt which lies underneath your fingernails
choking, and seething, lying
and you thought you could be my puppet master as my blood drips down the strings
i ruined the play that you tried to create
so wash your hands, and start all over again with a new and false pretty face