Without you there is no reason to wake
When someone is bitten by a snake
You must **** out the poison from their wound
Even if you are the poison.
I can’t help but picture you in that bed
With wires and tubes
And I want nothing more than to stroke your hair
And kiss your face
But I am a phantom in your life
A dark secret, never to be uncovered
And I will sit in silent torture waiting for your consciousness
Powerless and fearful for the children that were never mine.
Fearful for a life I was never going to be a part of.
Lately I find that my life is shaded in many colors of grey
I neither love him nor can live without
I love the idea of another, but the way he treats me makes me hate him
I feel seen but also burdened by the later
And somewhere in the middle of this tangled web of half truths lies my lonely soul
I never expected you to hurt me
I thought I was cutting off the lust
And the impractical
To feel something real
But I was never ever good enough to you
I reached my hand out to you
And I was terrified
You could see it in my eyes
“You’re done with me”
No I say, I’m just afraid
Afraid of what?
You are bewildered
I take a pause and say
Your desire for me.
Because what men desire