A year of this mental tug of war
Trying to be better than last time
To walk the line between demure and powerful
I tried to distract myself with the glitters of others
Yet still you’re always the light
But I feel it growing darker around me
Familiar and horrific

When someone is bitten by a snake
You must **** out the poison from their wound
Even if you are the poison.

Lately I find that my life is shaded in many colors of grey
I neither love him nor can live without
I love the idea of another, but the way he treats me makes me hate him
I feel seen but also burdened by the later
And somewhere in the middle of this tangled web of half truths lies my lonely soul
Always alone.