Original-
the new you.
The true you.
The one who cannot be defined.
The one who is defined by being undefinable.
The one who said "I can" when others said "You can't"
Yet they never know the story.
They say words but they don't know that people just like them pushed you down.
They told you- you couldn't
And when you stood- they said you could.
They said- you shouldn't.
But as you yelled back- they said you should.
They weren't there because they didn't care.
And now your strong and they want to pull you along.
Keep your enemies close.
And together you'll toast.
They might even boast at how it's wrong to say you did it alone,
but I know.
I know you keep your enemies close,
but yourself closer.
Because you just never know,
after being alone,
and pulled along.
Being right and wrong,
back and forth,
back and forth,
while they tell you quotes their brothers told,
as if each quote was words from Gods.
But you have to trust you,
because whatever they do,
it's not always true.
It's sometimes a lie.
You have to pull back,
and YOU have to decide.

At work I disguise hospital beds for home,
But everyone can feel the stark truth--
It hangs in the air,
"You'll die here",
And I can provide no answers or words of comfort to ward off fear.

An angel,
Spoke the sweetest words.
Only later did I realize,
She was satan in disguise.
A close friend,
I called her.

used to think
i stumbled upon an angel
dressed as a human being

but as wrong as i always was
i meddled with a demon
disguised as someone too beautiful
for me to resist

when i met you
i didn't know id be
meeting all six of you.
your personas
spilled from your pocket
like rapid fire kisses.
little by little
trickling out
with casual coolness.
like perfectly stacked dominoes
shot out into the open
by geronimo and his rifle.
and the only thing you expected
was to expect me to not inspect them.
to not hold them up to the light
and investigate the content.

anyway my hands were
too shaky  
and small
to carry them all.
anyway you smiled.
with the same
smile you forgot to
take off from work.

you:
the angry
the riddle
the obstinate
the sweetheart
the confused
the drunk
the person you think you are
the person you are desperately trying to become.

for what its worth,
i hope to meet him
one day too.

Paint drips disguise and
obliterate lies like ink-
daubed tattoos on eyes
fooling unconditional
considerate conviction.

Sometimes I just want to see another way of being me
Another way of being free of all insecurity
But there are times when that is hard
And there are wounds that have been scarred
And now I'm trying to get by with what in my life has been marred.

I keep trying to escape all of the lies that cover my eyes like tape; such a disguise, I can let out only sighs.  
It's hiding all of my fears deep inside all of my tears that never flow, I don't let them go, so I keep moving, I reap what I sow.
So no, I'm not fine, I walk a fine line between peace and what is at least my foreseeable destruction.
And I know I'm laughing and requesting you leave it alone but what is worse is the curse of knowing I am and will always be unknown.

All weight will drop off my shoulders, but before, it gets much colder,
So cover me in this vacancy of emotion and make me bolder.
Make me able to stand under the pressure of the hand that smacks my hand and tells me "Man, it's just a phase." which does the opposite of
Raising me up and making me new, so if you only knew that what you do makes me rue the so-called man that I've become and now
The future man that I will be will never rise up from his knee
So I'm left stirring in this mind of never-ending insecurity.

The dawn of my day is still not over,
Yet, the time has taught me many lessons.
Some of truths, others of lies,
Some of mistakes, others of blessings.

I must admit between the black and white,
I hope that sometime I may find the grey.
And I really hope I'll find it soon,
Within the next few hours of my day.

I don't believe in forgetting,
Yet, I love to remember.
And I absolutely hate being cold,
But my favourite month is December.

I always speak in utmost honesty,
Because I simply cannot lie.
And I'm a really happy person,
But, inside, I always feel the need to cry.

I haven't found out who I am yet,
Because I don't really want to know.
I want to be the one who keeps holding on,
Even long after others have let go.

I would love to know everybody,
And, in return, I would love to be known.
I want to learn how to play guitar,
But I don't want to be shown.

I would like to speak fluent Irish,
Though, I don't really see it's use.
I want to stand up and make my objections,
But I don't want anyone to have to choose.

I want to understand the world, Tim,
Yet, I don't think that that would be wise.
Because I've found it's not what it seems,
For some reason, it wears a disguise.

I long to know why judgement is passed,
When no one really knows all the facts.
And why we don't just admit them out loud,
And put aside these silly acts!

Tim, I want to find love for myself,
Purely, from inside my own heart.
I don't exactly know who you are,
Yet, I never want us to be apart.

I want to explain out loud exactly how I feel,
For leadership's sake.
Because it's so difficult to know what's real,
When, outside, even the clouds look fake.