Your love
is as big as a city
where dreams
sparkle
into glittering gold
and settle down
into dust
at sunset.

It shines like
neon lights,
I couldn't blink
even a single lie;
I fathom can't
your marquee of disguise,
shall I be the truth kindles
in your storyline.

I swayed
in jazz and trumpets,
in bizarre acquaintances,
in colours and rhythms,
and rush of yesteryears;
Still - I know not yet
if the feeling
is what I danced here for.

It bewilders me
if midnights play
hide-and-seek;
Whence I yearn
for you only
over cold nights,
just to be found hidden
'neath your sole sheet.

This place breathes
of smog and grit,
whilst caffeines
are sip of my epiphany
with morning reveries
be risen with clarity
unless I heed ,
quench of the outside rain.

Albeit
the mighty city -
stole me,
cheated me,
despised me,
all of me;
I guess -
It's alright.

I shall hide
out of sight.
hear me whisper
in my quiet slumber
of memories
of seagulls and springtime
and my weary head
way back home.

The disappointment that resides in me,
as much as I tell it to go away,
swallows my entire body.

It eats away at my flesh and rarely
leaves enough time for skin to regenerate.
The disappointment that resides in me

licks its lips hungrily
at the sight of my blood, salivates
and swallows my entire body.

This cannot be healthy,
I say to myself. There has to be a way to invalidate
the disappointment that resides in me.

I wonder if there was ever a phase of sobriety
when my expectations' weight
did not swallow my entire body.

I suppose I must return to reality
and succumb to incubate
the disappointment that resides in me,
that swallows my entire body.

One day someone will hold my body, reach
intimate places, steal breaths from my throat
and his cold barb-wired fingers will breach
my silk-woven skin, leaving me to choke.
I'm afraid I'm not sufficient enough
to let his love crawl in me, sweeping dust
away that no one has bothered to touch
after all these years. Certainly he must
not want to encounter a tornado
that destructs everything that could save me.
When he's done, there will not be a halo
above his head. He precariously
set my heart up for more disappointment.
He took my trust with the lack of consent.

Self centered woman
you're so wrong about
so many things I can't
even begin to reach
for half of my dreams
because of your words
that lead me to believe
I've failed you- maybe
I'm not what you were
wanting so badly..
but telling me lies and
staying away from him
will not change the way
that I feel about you-
disappointed.

With some grains of salt,
I sprinkle them over your words
and watch them dissolve.

"I could have been yours."
A mental script that echos in her mind throughout her solitary nocturnal escapade.
A  combination of five simple words that is strong enough to freeze fire or liquefy a a neglected dream.
The perfect conclusion to justify a tragedy -
A tragedy so pure and so close to being a sunset-filled day in between the lines of a fanciful short story,
Yet it also cuts a beautiful outline of its history through her tongue.
It pierces through her skin like fangs of a tormented beast.
A carpet of shattered glasses rest under her bare feet,
He was not there to close the colossal distance that appeared in between.

While you go on living your life as if nothing affected you, I'm affected the most.

While you pretend your feelings didn't hit you in the face, my face is numb from the hit.

While you narrow down your choices in who matters to you, I'm the one that didn't.

While you go out with your friends and laugh like nothing phases you, its hard over here for me to even crack a smile.

When you thought being distant would make things go away, I stayed close to try to walk beside you.

While you're out smoking and drinking and trying to push away thoughts, I'm sober with the reality of your absence.

While you're out telling yourself that its not that serious to you, my stern look towards us is never hidden.

While you're out filming, taking pictures, or even listening to music; I'm out shooting, capturing, and listening to familiar pains.

While you're doing your thing like its easy, its hard out here for me.

While you're used to it being easy to let things go, I hold onto what I still can't get over.

My depth of emotions runs so deep that my tear ducts dont need a cue to fill up.

You can only be affected by those who have touched you in ways you never experienced.

That's why its so hard to be okay with it all.