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Nichelles Eye Nov 2015
Do you know what it feels like?
To feel completely alone.

To have no one to talk to?
But yourself.

That no one cares to check up on you?
Unless they need something.

That no one wants to hang out with you?
Because their first options bail.

Do you know what it feels like?
To long for a companionship.

To feel like you're not interesting enough?
Because people lack consistency.

To reach out to people to be sociable?
But you get little to no response.

To watch other people in close friendships?
And only see what it could be like to have them on tv shows.

To stay at home and use your time trying to create?
But your heart feels heavy.

To encounter cool people then exchange connections?
And be ignored or flaked on.

To only wish that you'd meet the person who'd make it worth the wait.

Hang in there.

I feel this pain.

Can you feel  mine?
pain
loss
wish
friendship
companionship
alone
loneliness
heartache
sadness
Nichelles Eye Nov 2015
I hate getting drunk, because I think of you.

I hate getting sad, because it started with you.

I hate thinking of you, because I cant stop thinking of you.

I hate shedding tears, because Im sad for you.

I hate when my mind drives, because it races towards you

I hate when people ask if Im ok, because I know the answer is because of you

I'll never love again, because I'll never love anyone but you

I hate smoking green, because it would remind me while I drift

I hate sitting still with my thoughts, because theres too many of you

With this liqour, green or sadness it'll all surround you.

You would swear you were the greatest thing to this world

But only because I made you that way.

I love getting drunk, because I think of you

I love getting sad, because it started with you.

I love thinking of you, because I can't stop thinking of you.

I love shedding tears, because I'm sad for you.

I love when my mind drives, because it races towards you

I love when people ask if im ok, because I know the answer is because of you

I'll never love again, because I'll never love anyone but you.
Nichelles Eye Oct 2015
While you go on living your life as if nothing affected you, I'm affected the most.

While you pretend your feelings didn't hit you in the face, my face is numb from the hit.

While you narrow down your choices in who matters to you, I'm the one that didn't.

While you go out with your friends and laugh like nothing phases you, its hard over here for me to even crack a smile.

When you thought being distant would make things go away, I stayed close to try to walk beside you.

While you're out smoking and drinking and trying to push away thoughts, I'm sober with the reality of your absence.

While you're out telling yourself that its not that serious to you, my stern look towards us is never hidden.

While you're out filming, taking pictures, or even listening to music; I'm out shooting, capturing, and listening to familiar pains.

While you're doing your thing like its easy, its hard out here for me.

While you're used to it being easy to let things go, I hold onto what I still can't get over.

My depth of emotions runs so deep that my tear ducts dont need a cue to fill up.

You can only be affected by those who have touched you in ways you never experienced.

That's why its so hard to be okay with it all.
There's nothing worse than seeing how you really mean to someone in the end.
Nichelles Eye Oct 2015
Maybe I loved a little too hard.

A little too much.

A little too annoying.

A little too passive aggressively.

A little too bad.

A little too good.

A little too sudden.

A little too selflessly.

A little too ******.

A little too much depth.

A little too much passion.

A little too much.

Maybe I loved a little too much.
Nichelles Eye Jan 2015
She only does it to free her mind.

But yet she's locked in a cage.

She only does it to get rid of the bad thoughts
The ones that fill her with rage.

She doesn't think it does anything to her mind
The mind she thinks she's saving with it

She's so addictive to anything she can feel better
As she takes a hit from it

It keeps her calmed by physical matters but keeps certain things alive

She thinks she's moving forward with this soothing inhale as the feeling arrives

Thinking she's ok and content but really she stays still.

It can take more and more to realize that this distraction can ****

I hate that she does it, I watch as her eyes light up to the substance she adores

An addict doesn't have to be consistent its about what they want more and more
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