I finally ******* get it
I need to know when to stop
I need to know when to focus
Enough of the smoke and mirrors
And all the hocus pocus
I’ve got to be preoccupied
To keep everything off my mind
What am I doing with my time?
Am I only a distraction
Instead of being the action
People wanna move
Standing still will make em snooze
Instead of being tight
I’ve never tried with all my might
Nobodies going to tell me what to do
If I expect it I’ll be *******
I cant let my **** be loose
Waking up is only the beginning
The rest of the day still needs some filling
My level needs to be higher
So I can gain and be desired
My brain had gone haywire
But I’ve finally fixed the wires
Finally some of my demons can retire
There are more moments when my head is clear now
Maybe I can finally get the standing ovation while I bow
I want to inspire
Be more than just admired
I want to truly be love
Tired of the when push comes to shove
I don’t want to fight anymore
There’s somebodies children I want to bore
What kind of mother would I be if I was just another chore

in the rotation of the collar
various flowers are spinning
and tulips and blue flowers
and roses are all red
and sunflowers forgotten

in the rotation of the collar
spinning spinning
spinning spinning is not clear
where it is not clear
heaven and earth are spinning

and the sun and happiness
and happiness and sun
and different different feelings
and sunflowers and roses
everything is spinning a cycle

28.08.18

my head fell today
she fell and rotated
around where then where and how
it is not clear how it was rotating
and in what place

she fell and fell
fell and fell as if forever
my head blushed
and blushed and sadness tore
tore my heart and light

but the rebirth of rebirth
all this was I shouted
this degeneration is rebirth
is a new and new harmony
new thoughts and new feelings

25.08.18

what pretty day?


that the sun shines here

the moon lights near

stars surrounded them

the world seems wider

the trees become greener

the roses have a brightener

the colors have appeared shiner

the butterflies fly around

the birds sing soft harmony

the heart looks happy

the weather becomes funny

when you are nearly

when you are not far

you make me look younger

you make me looked smarter

and I love all persons

even my enemy that hate me

stay here by my side

stay here don't be away

the time passed as wind

Comes suddenly and goes hurry

Stay with me to see how is the sky

Becomes more blue and clear

Stay with me,

to shut my eyes

And open my ears

To hear the world sings

To see the fishes dance

And the birds come near

for a moment my wonderful
it was raining before my eyes
or snow or the sun is black
it was not clear to me then
it was not clear to me now

for a moment this
I lit up from the inside like a star
and the singing and singing of summer
only she was with me
whether then then today either
always and forever

04.08.18

Blue skies in Arizona
a ruthless sight to behold
akin to cool tides on an icy cold beach

Days of gray were my rays of sunshine
a heat box detox I dreamed of at one time

Now they seem transient
pallid, sad, and haphazard
since they’re a habit in Boston
no longer a reward to wait for

I hope somewhere it’s clear with clouds every now and again

I'm very sad
I'm very sad
because everything
vaguely

because everything
unknown
Because it's not clear
what will be ahead

I'm very sad
and the moon in the sky is beautiful
but even its harmony
does not help to soothe everything inside

and even her singing
and even her wonderful game
on the piano of heaven
can not give me rest

can not give me stars
and can not give freedom
such freedom
what was in childhood

her i
forever lost
lost as well as almost all
in this world

14.07.18