fluttering heartstrings
being tugged upon by
someone I promised
myself I would not let
in but here we are, and
when you look over at
me and I catch your
eyes on mine my doubt
seems to disappear for
just a half of a second
as I consider that maybe
I'm not as bad as I make
myself out to be inside
my brain, maybe I'm
just what you want and
need and feel deep in
your soul when you
think about me, the way
I think about you, and
that doubt returns quick
and all but it's no worry
because for just a second
you made me happy and
that's more than any drug
or pill could give me
because you're you and so
unreasonably handsome
and witty and I can't get
past the fact that you even
bother to make eye contact
with me, and even though I
normally hate eye contact
when I look in your eyes
my insides simultaneously
burn and relax and scream as
I think of everything hiding
behind those eyes and I can't
quite get it but I swear to you
I'd do anything to figure it out.

I just

Want to find a love
That leaves me with butterflies in my stomach

Instead of moths in my closet

i am consumed by love...

so much so, that these macrophages have eaten away at my bone marrow,

preventing the production of blood cells as pale waves rush to my oxygen deprived face,

and my nerves, completely polarized by parents and an inner compass- tainted my scarlet fingertips. i know elysium will no longer accept me.

still, i let you trace the grooves and dips of my brain and tangle your fingers in my arteries.  

my bones are still red-dappled with life. muscles still ripple and blood laughs up through each fiber like curious sea water froths between wood planks.

my heart still contracts like a sporadic melody

and a pavillion of butterflies burst from my stomach. as worn words speak again.