my mind starts to drift and the walls seem to fade
as the wind placidly calms; my heart became staid.
every sense of you lingers; touch, smell and taste
begging for your hands secured around my waist.

vulnerable. susceptible.
safe. protected.

i'm terrified but excited; so eager to be frightened

these butterflies i refuse to ignore.

You know
What I said that a ran to take off from this planet
Like a Boeing to the moon??!!
I am flying
High like a Boeing
I have found peace
And I have found my freedom
It was a butterfly
Breaking free
For I am me.

being around you feels just like a movie,
and i am the entranced spectator
watching as the frames zoom in closely,
my desperate eyes trying to capture
moments where you unknowingly cause butterflies
and gardens to bloom from within me.
each time your fingers tightly grasp mine,
i want to replay that heart-stopping scene
for the feelings of dizzying euphoria
to endlessly run through my veins,
much like what people want more of
once a breathtaking movie comes to an end.
i know that whenever i am with you,
forever does not seem like a long time,
and if this wonderful movie starring only us two
continues into the lovely night, i would not mind.

Could you be different?
Truly?
Or have I gone too far yet again?
My love, you are the stuff of dreams
With your crystalline eyes and paint-stained fingertips
Those delicate movements from roughly hewn hands pluck gracefully on my heartstrings
That crooked smile, so clever and mischievous; it could get away with ******
You are not for the faint of heart…
But then again…
Neither am I

I fell in love when the Christmas lights blurred around you
Creating this halo effect, and that's when, I knew, I found my angel
But my angel is not Biblical
He wears sweatshirts and the same old shoes
He talks during movies
He plays with my hair
And he's not perfect
He hurts
Hurts in ways that I wish I could heal
Hurts in ways that only real angels, watching from above, can understand
He hurts so much that he ignores the pain
Ignores all the pain
Ignores me too

I try to keep my heart afloat
But it's like the titanic,
No matter how hard I try
Which way I steer
It always crashes into an iceberg
It break in half
And slowly drowns the passengers in a froze ocean of depression
Where they scream and scream and scream
But all that can be heard, up above the surface, is silence

I'm hurting inside
And no one seems to notice
Maybe because I am so good at hiding it
Pretending it isn't there
Ignoring the pain just like everyone wants me to
Or maybe because no one seems to care
Care enough to look a little bit harder
To dig a little bit deeper
And find the teary eyed girl that hides behind her painted smile
Who's drowned all her passengers

I wish I had the wings of an angel
Not to fly away
But to fold around me
Like a cocoon of soft feathers and to have the
Silence
And I'll stay there, never emerge, never becoming this beautiful butterfly
Because butterflies are loved, cherished, appreciated
I am still this caterpillar trying to grow wings
Painting on this face
Sailing my boat
And idolizing the angel up above the surface

This black ocean
Filled with frozen hearts
Is made up of my tears i cry every night
The tears i weep in silence

Inside and out
Humans are magnificent
We each have a single butterfly in our head
The Sphenoid is what I'm talking about
There in the back of the skull,
Without it, our mind would
Truly wander in our skulls