You shine brightly in my dreams,
As you sleep next to me holding my hand,
As my Soul  passes through time, missing your sunshine,

Watching the universe,
Memories of you, reflecting in my eyes,
Hearing your throbbing  heart, raising my spirits high,

Seeing you, every night,
These are my,
Happiest and saddest times,

I wish in my heart,
As the sun rises,
To follow you home,

I think of you every day,
Dream of you every night,

I miss you, my Angel,
My love for you will never leave,
No matter how far away you are.

Copyright © 2018 Ronald J Chapman All Rights Reserved.

Inka, I want to thank you for being my support dog in a way. Sure you were never trained but you have always been there when no one else was. You were the reason I'm still here today.
You have seen me happy, angry, sad. You have seen my break downs, my purging moments and my cutting sessions. You have seen it all. You are now 6, I can't believe it. You have grown so much. I sound like a mother, but it would be like I am losing my baby, my everything. I am laying here with you, my big chocolate covered marshmallow telling you I love you. I wish that you could stay longer on earth, but humans don't deserve dogs.
You are an angel and angels are too pure to live on this cruel world for too long. I hope you stay with me after though, I hope you will always be my little couch potato with me. Sure you could be in dog heaven too, but I will always have popcorn for you so win win, right? I don't know what I would do without you. I know I would be the biggest cry baby ever, and you won't be there to lick my tears away. I don't know why people say Pitbulls are the worst dogs because I think you are one of the best. I hope when I die, I will be with you. I remember when we first got you, you would **** so much I had a clip with me all the time to clip my nose. Oh, and you pooped on my brother's shoes, I knew I was going to love you when you did that. Thank you for being my thing to hug because I always felt I was going to break down in front of someone if I hugged them, but with you I didn't care. Thank you for being my warmth and pillow at night. Thank you for licking my tears away. Thank you for keeping a smile on my face. Thank you for being my little bit of happiness. Thank you for being my dog. You will always be on my mind and in my heart. My big chocolate covered marshmallow, Inka.

Scared.
Moments are scary.
The moments that catch your breath,
Paused.
Motionless time.
Feel the air in your lungs.

Love.
Love is scary.
Consuming potential destruction.
Breathe.
They love you.
Let yourself give in.

Words.
Words are terrifying.
They're either nothing or everything.
analyse.
They mean it, don't they?
Don't take it to heart.
They're broken..

Faith.
It's not always there.
We search for hope in something higher,
but only when we believe.
Hold on, give it time.
even if it's not there.

Me.
I'm scared.
I don't believe, I bail.
when things get rough it's better to run.
Protect myself of oncoming damage.
I'm broken..

Sorry.
moments are scary.
feel the air in my lungs
but when i breathe, it's trauma.
Unbearable pain.
Suffocation.
...