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Asonna Jun 2020
It keeps me awake.
Hours.
      Days.    
Weeks.      

Repeat.

The body aches. The muscled pain.
My heart screams to slow its pace.
Just a hallowed shell of who i was,
Now forever a worrier.
A woman without trust.

Connections are few,
I'm trapped in a cell
The corners of my mind fog the clear view,
What used to be simple is now not without hue.

Every night the roof gets darker
But my minds awake with irrelevant chatter.
Clutch my chest to lessen the unbearable pain,
The heart starts screaming to slow its pace.
And now it's another night it will keep me awake
Asonna Jun 2020
I made important promises i thought i could keep...
            But its getting so hard to try not to bleed...
Asonna Feb 2020
How do you open yourself to the possibility of love
                     When everything that's brought you here only ever hurts?
Asonna Jan 2020
SLE
She's the heroine, yet she knows it, not.
The life I breathe on the daily.
If I could harbor her pain
I would in a minute, because the way she looks..
it breaks me..

Give me her scars, i'll cry through the pain
just to give her some air.
if it comes to it, let me die for her..
because i can't bare the thought of her loss.

She may not be with me long,
the glass heart shatters at thought.
the fragments lodged within my throat
the constant stress and anxiety.

my mind plays the worst on repeat
mental preparation for the catastrophic mind
"i'm sorry, she's gone" riddles the echoes inside my head
the dams release under the lash and suddenly it's too much to close.

We're not here forever, i know.
The premature entity makes me scream "why".
there's not enough anyone can say in the world,
that will help me once she leaves me.

She'll always be with you, wherever you are
but that doesn't fill the void.
the warmth that she carries will dissipate,
although it feels a little like that now.

I love her more than humanly possible.
She's the light within my life.
Mama, dear mama. I love you so.
I'd give up my life for you.
Asonna Jan 2020
It's a bittersweet feeling as the illusion seeps through.
Red runs, dribbles, streaks;
travels into the distance.
Crimson molds and darkens the stem,
corrupts the root of all that is numb.
The river flows between the northern mountains,
one catastrophy laid to rest after another.
Water dilutes the strength of pain.
also washes it away.
Another layer, dose me up
The illusion helps to breathe it out.
Black drops of intensity,
the final touch
maybe this will get the pain to stop...
Gaze at its beauty,
wash it away,
start all over; it's the only way.
Dip the pallette just once more,
Down the leg,
exile the pain.
It's all i'm asking for..
Asonna Dec 2019
I love a sunburnt country,
but now the land's ablaze.
the oxygen we breathe has turned to dust
yet our request for help is denied.
I love a sunburnt country,
but there's not much left to last.

Firefighters aren't getting paid,
Neither are their bills.
yet our leader claims we're all fine
but he can afford to jet away.

The wildlife is damaged.
Koalas are losing homes.
much like the population
as the fires rip through their walls.

I love my sunburnt country,
but this has gone on too long.
while it's nice you're in hawaii Mr. Morrison,
everyone else is left to stand alone..
Asonna Nov 2019
I know you, you don't know me.
I sit here and read your poetry.
Daily basis, log in to check
See how you are,
carry on with the day.

You talk about wanting to reach out,
I think about doing the same.
You hurt me bad,
I hurt you worse
The systems been corrupted.

I read your pain.
I feel it too.
Throw my heart into the compactor.
I wish i could bring myself to say hi,
but solitude and alarm bells control me.

2 years is a long time.
we're slowly drifting to 3.
You don't know me.
I said it before,
just a hallowed shell, I'm empty.

It's easier to hate,
crippling to love,
emotions become catastrophic.
I think about the damage done,
all i have is "I'm sorry"

Maybe i don't know you.
Have you really changed?
your words are different,
but the tone is the same.
But, I'd be lying if i said i didn't miss it.

Lungs lined with salt from all the tears,
medications to try controlling the fears.
I type up the words to say hello,
I Paralyze.
1000 consequences all say don't.
back peddle hard, i click away.

Maybe tomorrow's another day.
Based off an old friend.
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