I watched my father die and i felt nothing.
Nor remorse or sadness.
I stood above his Deathbed and saw a stranger.

don't let
the ship sink,

and if
it happens,

don't
leave me
behind,

drown me
in your love.

i bite down to taste blood,
ground myself in this plane of desolation,
  to feel anything other than numb.

i share in your suffering,
where you are lost and afraid,
  broken before you begin.

i put my hands out into the stillness,
but it is hard to reach you,
  in the dark alleys of your mind.

i close my eyes against the change,
selfish, scared, swallowing every regret,
  where it resonates in the notes and chords.

i would trade places with you,
if only i could see your light shine,
  beautiful smile and hazel eyes.

You step out into the world and its tendrils seek to entwine.
It takes away my hopes and all the dreams I once held as mine.

You are faced with expectations and choices so not of your own.
You come to think it not so bad when life is both empty and alone.

It becomes just easier to forget about hope and any form of dream.
Responsible to self and away from expectations endless scream.

You close the world outside behind your safeties solid door.
And give up on love and dream like clothes discarded on the floor.

You accept a life of little value and so too the feel it will never end.
All for reassurance outside consequence wont reach in to offend.

I write of being sad and lonely in many of the poems that I write.
But I am conscious, it is I who cast love and hope out into the night.

A life without love is not life at all
Do not be scared to let yourself fall
Though it will hurt if you crash to the ground
Happiness is worth the risk I've found
Be brave and jump though hearts are at stake
Not run and hide in fear they may break
Often we end up spiraling down from the sky
But you never know just when your turn will come to fly

at the outset of self foundation
i am bewildered into self containment
for nothing i see is me
and what i am now
lay naked and reluctant
to seek the unattainable goal
contentment
which is in itself
confusion

Afraid,
Afraid if someone will know my inner side, undress my soul and uncover my scary wounds.

I left my man.

I walked away and they say that’s supposed to give you power.

I left my man.

I walked away, but I somehow I’m still afraid.