For once, my freedom has been attained
And I hope my happiness will remain
But the demon has come back to feed
Unaware that I now see his greed
A kiss upon my lips with force has lead me to disgust
And told me who I cannot trust.
He should have listened when I said I feel no more
And now, he's opened up a whole new door
One to rejection, one of pain
The only thing he will have left of me is old memories that stain
His heart and taint his mind
I think he realizes what he once left behind
Because now he tries, now he cares
And doesn't realize I have no more love or comfort to spare
For once he tells me I was not a curse but a cure
And begs me to forgive his mistakes, that his love is pure
But once a cheater, he is deemed for good
That he never seemed to have understood
Apparently now I'm beautiful as he says
My heart shards are now his
And that beauty he says he see may just be the reflections of the past in his eyes
Because I will not go back to a love full of lies.

The only thing that could satisfy me is your blood.
I want your blood! Because that is all I haven’t lost.
You think your time has come? Well it is far too late!
You were to die sooner, but I was forced to wait.
Your tears are not satisfying, nor is your scream.
Your blood is all that will satisfy my wicked dream
Payback will bite and this time you won’t break free
For this was the last time I let you hurt me.
Clashing fangs, broken skin. The red liquid that pours from your veins.
I can’t wait to stare as all of it drains.
I want blood! Your blood! Because that is all I haven’t lost.
I want to stain the walls with my revenge
Paint the world in your beautiful crimson

Blood splatter, haunting frames
Crazy hatter, twisted games
Along the path hops a rabbit with no eyes
Yet there he hops blinded by lies
Little white rabbit, ticking clock
Such a bad habit, yet it won’t stop!
The urge to slay, a craving so uncontained
How I must say,  it was tragic to learn how few remained
Mad hatter, how many did you ****?
Does it matter where you learned this skill?

You don't care, not at all
You wouldn't hold on you'd let me fall
You wouldn't save me
You'd let me drown
All because you're afraid of being dragged down

My heart, it dances to this music in which is provided by a music box
Peaceful as it is, in my brain it causes locks
Locks on my emotions in which one cannot undo.
Losing all my senses, all because I felt blinded by you.
You claim to love me, but wrap me in this one big lie
That you will never let me go unless one of us has died
And in that case you try to kiss me, cigarettes on your breath.
Every time our lips touch, it is like kissing death.
So here I stay beneath your arm for if I try to pull away
You grab at my waist and force me to stay.
I have grown used to this treatment, and found a way to cope.
A music box with me to play a peaceful song, to make my thoughts envelope
Me like a blanket that provides me protection, locking up my thoughts
And I go back to this music box every time we have fought.
I cannot stand you, but somehow I still do.
And anytime I say something you pretend you have no clue.
So Cantarella rock me to sleep one more time.
And help me wash away his sins and help me forget this man's crime.

This cloak that covers my dear mother is now just soaked in crimson liquid
Mother Gia let's her tears fall as she feels her children's blood smear her dear earthly surface
War has ruined her mind, dragging at her heart
Darkness creeping from the surface, leaving this battle a place to start
Children drown in envy and greed
Leaving mother to think what she had done wrong
In raising her dear children, what had brought around the haunted song?
But now the light is against the dark, and the fighting must go on.
And mother will continue to be cover, coated by her children's blood.

Falling for a demon boy
No shock from a silver tongue girl
But is it worth it to be his toy?
And feel my own world begin to whirl?
He is of lust, yet I am of love
And his eyes and my heart may get along
But the voices from above
Tell me this is all so wrong
I knew I'd fall if he called may name, asking for me back.
But what is it that makes me feel cold? What is it that my heart may lack?
I fear that he will leave me, break my heart again
And watch as I die of a broken heart, and see my own story end.
What is it about this demon boy, that I love so much?
I can't explain it at all, because I know it is more than lust.
It isn't all about his looks, even though he does have charm.
It's not that he's my hero, because he has caused me harm.
Maybe it is that darkness, in which I seem to know.
For I seem more afraid of the light than the dark.
Just as I fear summer and enjoy the winter snow.
I would never swim with fish, but I'd prefer the shark.
Always on the dark side, always in misery.
For misery loves me and my company.
Maybe this boy is Misery, that is just his secret name.
And all of my feelings, to him is just a game.
For how am I to know trust? When he will hardly speak my name
More concerned with calling me territory than treating me at least human.
Maybe this love is where the happiness will end and my life of dedication to him will begin.

Why do you whither and die?
Why do people fill your beautiful world with one great lie?
Dear Mother Earth,
Why is it that you allow this rumor to spread?
And why is it that many live yet many are dead?
I know that life is a beautiful lie, and death is your ugly truth. But why?
Why am I the one who you had fooled into believing this lie?
Life I thought was pretty, but only on the outside.
Cause once you enter life, the cruel intentions no longer hide.
Darkness fights with light, causing quite the war.
Death at least in my eyes, has never had to experience that before...
Because once you die, no one sees the place you go after.
Because once you die, there is no more pain or laughter.
No smiles, no tears
No dreams, no fears
Dear Earth,
Won't you grant me a grave stone?
Won't you grant me my own dirt throne?
May I please be happy for just one day?
Mother Earth, please take my pain away...

Desire is a wicked type of magic
It burns within my soul and makes me feel sick.
I hate that it pulls me into this trance
Sometimes making me happy enough to dance
But results of desire are more likely to come out empty handed
Then give a love in which every person has once demanded
Yet there are those times that make you sing like a bird
Cause your wish has been granted as others have heard
You look so nice with that lover of yours
But no one see what happens behind closed doors
Desire begins to break, love begins to fall
And you must stand in the middle of it all
You watch your partner leave and feel the awful ache in your heart
Once again you are left torn apart
For desire is not as great as it may seem
It's not for a world of reality it is only that in which you may dream
So open your eyes, don't give into desire
For it will burn you if you play with fire

A feeling in my heart, fast as lightning striking the ground
So much passion, but you hear no sound
Losing all control
I can feel it in my soul
Determination is overpowering.

Close your eyes and feel it within
Let yourself travel to where you’ve been
Don’t stop till the world is in your hands
For then the world is under your command
Determination is adrenalizing.

Tear down the halls
Burn down the walls
Scream and shout
Till the lights go out
Determination is everything.

I wish this was over, I wish that this was a dream
But, reality is never as kind as it seems
Bringing someone into my life that can actually make me smile
Then taking him away after a little while.
An angel so perfect, who truly loved me.
Released me from his hands and set me free.
All because he had to leave, fly to another place.
I wish I had wings so it would be possible to chase
That dream I had waited for since I can remember
My hero whom I met in December.
But now I am saved, and on he must go, leaving my side with a tear in his eyes
I can't believe this crushing experience, unsure where my heart now lies.
Ripped from my chest, I would offer it to him, if it wasn't lost.
I'd attempt to get him back at whatever cost!
California is not the place for him to be,
Because even he said he belongs with me.

Everyone has a dream
But it is the ones who know the pain of reality that make their dreams true....

Hey, my name's *******.
I am here to take away your pain.
Hi! My name is Ecstasy.
I am here to take you to your destiny.
Sup, I'm heroine.
I'm the one who is supposed to take you to the room you're in.
Hello, I'm what others call wine.
I am the date who expects you to dress divine.
Heyyyy, I'm ****.
I'm the one who is here for you even when you don't succeed.
Well, I'm beer.
When you've had too much of me, you can't see clear.
I'm what some refer to as Dusting.
I'm made of fumes that in most eyes, are disgusting.
What's up? I'm pills.
Take to many and for once, you'll be scared of the thrills...
Hello everyone, we are drugs.
*The beautiful creations of man that gives you all the excuse that life gets better if you are under our influence. But we are here to tell the truth... You are all believing a lie, we are all guilty of numbing your brains and blinding you from reality.

I’ve never been much of a person. So many mistakes I have already made.
And it is quite too obvious, that no one would care if I was to fade.
My effort may be all I have, but it is not enough.
There so many diamonds that need work, but I’m that rock who’s in the rough.
Everything I do is never going to be accepted, not even at my best.
So tonight I take a knife in hand and put my soul to rest.
Often am I told I’m much more morbid than I seem.
But who are you to judge me, when we both chase a different dream.
Both our lives are so much different, yet they are the same.
Neither world is perfect nor are they made for us to tame.
So why am I a failure when somehow you know how to strive?
Because you may know how to fly through the sky but when the bomb hits, I know how to dive.

Sometimes the curiosity can **** the soul, but leave the pain.
She watches as her life washes crimson down the drain.
But to her, it is no drain, but the rabbit's hole to Wonderland
To her it isn't suicide, but a ticket to a world more grand
She is tired of the pain she faces everyday and would choose the pill.
Tired of waiting for her chance, and yet follows the White Rabbit still...
Where could her mind be? Gone farther than many had assumed?
How many bottles has she drank? How many pills has she consumed?
"What it is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would.... You see?"
Whose fault is it she attempts to leave us? You? Me?!
"Here they come, to take me from you. Her come my knights!"
Her soft words cause many mindless fights.
We wish her to be safe, we wish to set her free
But how can she be free when she refuses to let the world be?
Always lost in Wonderland, except this time she isn't coming back.
For her world in her head obviously knew what reality lacks.
Yet, now she is gone, her body six feet below the ground.
Her Wonderland inside her head, no longer making another sound....

Look into their eyes, what do you see?
When I look at them, I see me
Maybe that is because they are my art and mine shall they stay
For each of my girls are my memories being washed away

Expressed in worlds not seen by people in their minds
Maybe because when I think, my creativity unwinds
It is my escape from this dull reality of nothing but white wall
For my worlds on cardboard, paper, and canvas gets rid of it all

I see a life of adventure and happiness
Feelings in my life which I forcefully suppress
Each girl is happy with her marks so unique
Each girl is more like a tiger but in reality people are like sheep

I want to be my ghost girls for they let their colors shine
Each one of their happy faces are quite real and divine
That’s the secret behind the happiness I seek, they are what I wish to be
For like I said, each of my ghost girls hold a little happy piece of me

Until I can be a ghost girl myself, I will draw more genuine beautiful girls of my dreams
For that is my only happiness it seems
I don’t find happiness in doing things, you’ve got it all wrong
I find happiness in being a tiger, an individual girl with a heart that is strong

My hair as my pelt, piercings as stripes
Until that day comes, there is more to draw and more to type
So awaiting in the dull room of white
I suppose it is the ghost girls stories I should write

I watched a friend pass away due to her own sin
She knew where she was to be placed and she knew where she shouldn't have been
But her want for more drove her mad, causing her to go insane
And under that fence she went, breaking away from her chain
Into the cage she went, killing all the children inside
Once she gorged herself full of their flesh, I knew there was nowhere to hide.
I rushed in to save the day, all but just a moment too late
And not only did these poor babies die, but her attack sealed her own fate
I had chased her out, on my knees did I stay.
Blinded by my own tears in which I couldn't wipe away.
What had I done? How could this be?
How did she slip away from me?
Why did she feast upon their heads?
What could draw a creature to make sure babies were dead?
So as I pondered with tears in my eyes.
A shriek split the air and to no surprise.
I got to my feet and rushed to her form.
Which now seemed panicked and quite deformed.
Convulsing on the floor, choking to death
Trying to draw in somewhat of breath
The bones of those babies stuck in her throat.
As I picked up her fragile frame and caressed her back.
Crying harder as she suffered this attack.
For I could not remove it, that bone was too deep.
And her throat welled with blood that began to seep
Into my hands staining them red
It was about another hour before she was dead.
And here is the truth behind gluttony.
Overindulgence eventually gets the best of any
Who are brave enough to feast like a god.

I see what is hidden behind your Cheshire smile
You cannot hide your pain from me
We've been friends for quite awhile
And those cuts upon your wrists will begin to heal
If you let me in to tell you just how amazing you are
Cause you are beautiful no matter who says different

"Kay you're so cute!"
Just another lie you've told
"Kay you're so awesome"
I know you don't mean it, I'm a complete *****...
"Kay you're **** as hell. You need to stop bashing yourself"
I don't bash myself, I tell myself the truth so I am not lifted by lies. Why would I tell myself something I don't believe to be absolutely true?
"Kay, you are so talented. You could become a professional artist"
I never wanted to be good at art, but its my only escape. I truly hate it with a burning passion.
"Kay, I love you. I mean it too."
Save it, you cheated on me when my best friend died. How could you even claim that when we both know you are lying?
"Kay, you are worth something."
I wish I was. But in my eyes I am not worth anything, I have nothing to offer, nothing to give, I cannot compete with others who are more deserving than I. I have sins that haunt me worse than most people, and I wish I could be of use, but all I can do is teach someone about pain. Pain, loss and other dreadful feelings because that's what I comprehend.
"Kay, I'm sorry."
Don't be. I'm used to it. Eventually I will find the key to being happy, even in the worst circumstances.
"Hi Kay, how are you?"
"I'm bubbly."
*Fake it to make it another day and never let them see inside you

So you wish to **** someone without a single touch
Without hurting them physically but just as much
As though it were a bullet to the head
Yet you don't wish to have them end up dead
Just hollow within and have them end up like you
Well it is so simple! The steps to take are only two
Show them their true colors, show them their inside
That is when they'll run and hide.
Next show them the pain they caused another friend
And that will be their very end.
People don't wish to see their cruelest of mind
For once they do they begin to unwind.
The inside tears us apart.
So when we see it, we end up having nowhere to start.
We're just as dead inside instead of out.
Not enough energy to let out a shout.

If only our words were weapons and a shield....

Father please forgive me
I had to break free from the pain and agony
Now that I’ve done what I have to
Remember, I will always love you
I’m your child….

Little boy, talking so mean…
Come face the fire, and you’ll never be seen

I killed! (After midnight)
I ran (A few miles)
He died (it was a big fight)
I was numb! (For a while)
He screamed!(I won’t give up)
In pain! (I won the last hit)
My god (His soul won’t shut up)
I killed your other child….

“I can’t stand you here!”
“You make momma cry in fear”
“It’s not your voice I want to hear!”
That’s when he cried one last tear….

Little brother, playing so *****
I’ll destroy your mind, your blood’s so pretty….

I killed! (After midnight)
I ran (A few miles)
He died (it was a big fight)
I was numb! (For a while)
He screamed!(I won’t give up)
In pain! (I won the last hit)
My god (His soul won’t shut up)
I killed! (After midnight)
I ran (A few miles)
He died (it was a big fight)
I was numb! (For a while)
He screamed!(I won’t give up)
In pain! (I won the last hit)
My god (His soul won’t shut up)
I killed your other child….

Sleep, here take these pills
Never gonna sleep again
Go to bed, close your eyes and you will eventually begin to dream
That's a lie, I have tried it all, counting sheep, warm milk, even running till I could not run any further, yet no sleep has come to me nor will it ever
You need to sleep, if we must, we'll take you to a hospital**
Go ahead, strap me down, see if I will rest, cause once I do, I won't wake up and I will have died upon that bed. Just another tragic tale of my insomnia once again. Except this time, my story ends.

Sitting in a class with unfamiliar faces
Trying not to collapse while my heart races
None of them know of the hit I took last night
It wasn't even worthy of calling a fight
His slap to my face only shattered my heart
How could I not see the darkness within him from the start?
It doesn't matter. Not one bit, it happens.
But does anyone care?

All alone I refuse to eat, others around me conversing and having fun
I wonder if they'll ever see me when their conversations are done
No? That's alright, I've been alone most of my life anyways, it's no big deal.
It's just I wish I had friends to rid me of this emptiness I feel.
It's alright, it happens.
But would they notice if I were gone?

They seem disappointed that I stumble and do not provide.
Even though I have proven how hard I have tried.
Enough for me is too little for them.
If they feel that way, why don't my parents just let me go then?
It's ok.... it happens
Is this who I am? Am I the person who will go down in history as "it happens"?
When will enough be enough.......?

Than love him and lose him....

Let us write a song to right the wrongs
To wash our sins away.
Let us sing it out, let all free
Because this is me!
I admit, I am a sinful person
I admit, I have a lot of flaws!
I admit, to having bad conversation
And to breaking a few laws.
But who are you to deem me evil?
Who are you to point me out?
We are all just digging our own graves until we can’t climb our way out!
So no! (No!)
I won’t bow to this world.
Let my flaws shine like stars.
So no! (No!)
I’ll present my evil
And give you cause
Cause what is your reward?!
For ripping out our hearts?
Are you payed a whole lot?
I bet you’re paid a whole lot!
I have nothing to spare
And is God even there?
Cause I’m forced make it myself
I’ll never make it myself….
Where is the sympathy?
For leaving us no place to start
Watching as we slowly fall apart
We are youth in a nation that is never truly free
We are born in a country where there is no sanity
So please! Please set us free
This world is evil…
And so am I.
I’ll lie right to your face
And won’t feel an ounce of regret.
You stabbed me in the back, now feel my pain
Because once I am done, you’re likely to go insane!
So no! (No!)
I won’t bow to this world.
Let my flaws shine like stars.
So no! (No!)
I’ll present my evil
And give you cause
Cause what is your reward?!
For ripping out our hearts?
Are you payed a whole lot?
I bet you’re paid a whole lot!
I have nothing to spare
And is God even there?
Cause I must make it myself
I’ll never make it myself….
So no! (No!)
I won’t bow to this world.
Let my flaws shine like stars.
So no! (No!)
I’ll present my evil
And give you cause
Cause what is your reward?!
For ripping out our hearts?
Are you payed a whole lot?
I bet you’re paid a whole lot!
I have nothing to spare
And is God even there?
Cause I must make it myself
I’ll never make it myself….

I'm keeping her bound and gagged.
Soaked in gasoline with her hands behind her back.
You better do as told or you’ll never see her again
That’s right, your daughter is locked away in my secret den
If you don’t do as told expect her head to be sent in the mail
But, if you wish for her back you best make sure you don’t fail
Go take my place in the prison for life
Or it will come back at your daughter in the form of a knife.
If you want to see your daughter again.
Make sure everything goes as planned.
Sincerely,        
Your Greatest Enemy

Life is fun but isn't fair
Life is a force that doesn't care
It does not tend to the wound or protect the weak
It is a source that cannot speak
But it can show and it can tell
It is where light shines and darkness dwells
A mixture of all but is never just one
Like I said, life is fun!

Pale and heartless was my last man
If anyone could break me, I know he still can
I watched as it was my own heart he began to shred
Loving him is like loving the dead
I began to fear and lost my love for him
Our future in which he described "was beginning to grow dim"
He believed in taming the beast, but he did not succeed
For he was bested by his own greed
Not studying the beast he went for its heart
But you can't hunt a creature if you don't know where to start.
You need to know the beast if you wish to attack.
And intelligence seemed to be what he lacked.
Like I said, trying to love him is like loving the dead
And now I lay within my tear soaked bed.
Ill of a broken heart I hate to say that I cry
I sob because I still wonder why
Why is his heart so dead inside?
Why was it that I decided to hide?
From his undesirable love in which he attempted to express
I mean he did at least try to make progress
But you can't just simply shock something back to life
If we could how many men would bring back their wife?
Would he bring me back if I were shot with a gun?
I need to stop thinking of it for he and I are done....

There once was a girl named Lucy
Who liked to let herself loose, see?
She was too much a flirt
Her knees in the dirt
I wonder how mad her parents would be

Talented was this girl I knew
She could easily sneak up on you
Quicker than speed, more silent than light
She will forever know she cannot lose her fight
I shared a secret that was quite deep
A secret I know she still will keep
She is a friend I will never lose to any mere boy
She is more to me than pride and joy
I'd lose my life for this friend of mine
For her friendship is quite divine
I owe her my life for she saved me
And I promise you I'll be there for you Marcella, wherever you may be....

Quick with silver
Slash of red
Upon the floor
They lie dead
Killed by fear
Though they tried
Their screams I still hear
For I watched them die
My hands are stained with sin
Though I can't recall it all
I knew where I had been
And I knew who was to fall
They tried to control a power they will never forget
A power that had won
A power I regret
Their fear caught within their eyes
Their pale figures drained of their soulful lies
They pressed their luck when they pulled the chains
Nothing left of them but blood stains
Goodbye all, I wish you farewell
For you may be next, only time will tell....

Seething with rage, as it consumes my mind.
Choking my thoughts, my physical form left behind.
A knife in my heart, it's emotional wave staining my skin.
These feelings fight me till my thoughts, body and soul have grown dim.
There is no rest from the pain, the agony is too impatient to wait.
These feelings leaving me at the foot of hell's gate.
Yet my thoughts and interactions continue to keep me sane, at least for now.
But, what is this feeling, and why is it that I feels these emotions forcing me to bow.
To a power I cannot see, a god by the name of Misery.
These dreaded murderous feelings, all but a true mystery.
It's not a game of clue, no questions will be answered, no one is to blame.
But you will always fall victim to your own shame.
And the more I think, the more I feel.
The more it continues, the more I lose what is real.
Till these emotions drain my life, the source of who I am.
And these feelings strangle me till I become one of the ******.

I cannot **** my monsters for they live within
But, they do come out when my hope grows dim
They lick up the tears that rest on my cheeks
Trying to force me to believe that I am weak
But only a child who has lived a life of comfort would believe that
Yet, I have lived through the roughest of paths
So every time they bite my heart, and tear another little chunk apart
I try and concentrate and restart
Remember where I belong, and why I still live
And how to make it through without bringing upon myself the greatest of sin
I refuse to die, especially by my own hand.
For I have survived the attempts and have been given my second chance
And I will sometimes succeed to fail
For if I do not allow myself to fail, I will always fail to succeed and prevail
So let my battle with my monsters touch your heart
And teach you as well, that there is always a new place to start
Because one thing I have always understood
That once you are gone, you're gone for good.

RUN!
The girl's legs gave in beneath her, her hand releasing her wounded side
RUN!!!!
Then came a screech
"No!"
Came the cry of a petrified mother
"Kiersten!!!"
A family howled in unison as they rushed to the side of the fallen girl
silence
Blood eased from her body and onto the floor showing she was no more
silence
Devastated looks, glossed over eyes, pale and horrified faces grew in numbers
They're here...*
Came sirens with police, ambulance in close pursuit, but they're too late
darkness
I still hear them, but I see them no more, it looks like I have truly died
no more senses*
I can't believe I actually went through with suicide.....

Everyone knows by now, fairytales are not found.
The beliefs of our ancestors buried with them in the ground.
Now to be walked on, forgotten by most.
Drones in a world where leaders are hosts.
Honored to have the things that we do.
Misjudged when we think that we shouldn’t have to fight too.
For why waste the lives of thousands for a mere thirty men?
Why do we bow down to governments that say they let us win?
We have the freedom we have the power.
We the people stands no longer in the Nation’s darkest hour
We become slaves out of fear to those who claim to protect us as one
But once you as a group, scare a nation, it’s done.
We gave them our rights when we voted them in.
And now all have fear that as a nation, we will not win.
We the People are not safe in our homes. For our faults of fear in our government rules us all.
Too afraid to fight the system, too afraid to fall.

Without pain there is no happiness or feeling at all.

I want to be as pretty as a picture, but I'm as round as a ball.
I would do whatever it takes to have it all.
Cut into my flesh and carve a perfect frame,
Paint my face for the desire of fame.
I want to be perfect like the other girls
Skinny and beautiful, wanted by the world.
So I dream of a figure I'll never get.
Cause how I look is already set.
You can't change ugly, but you can change weight.
But that still won't fix what I hate....

Heart wrenching feeling
A thirst for blood
Whose life am I stealing?
And who will lose their bud?
Torture is a must in the game of life
All tortures include the pain of a simple knife

Take a bite!
Have a taste!
How dare you say no!
What a waste!
One bite won't **** you!
Well not that you will ever know.
Just please taste it!
Once you do, I'll let you go
There you have it!
It wasn't that bad right?
Ha! Fool! It was poisoned!
Now you're turning white.
Why did I do this?
Because I was the fairest before you arrived!
So to come to my former glory,
I had to **** the person in which this beauty thrived.
Sorry it had to be this way little child,
I didn't wish to harm you this way....
Oh wait, of coarse I did!
I'm just so glad that I had finally succeeded today.
I'll leave you to rest,
For you won't be living in a minute,
I mean you're practically already dead!
So just lay down and let your eyes shut.
I am the queen, fairness and all.
Snow White, you were destined to fall.

Silence.... Quiet.... Shut your ******* trap!
What would make you think I'll be held down by this strap?
Release me! Free me! Or I'll **** you too!
You better unleash me or I'll be the end of you
All I did was quiet his scream in which I heard from his heart.
He was begging to lose his life, even from the start.
His clock would not stop ticking, and my ears soon did grow soar.
So I took my knife, cut off his head and threw it out the door.

This cannot be, must be a dream!!!
This cannot be as it seems....
They're hooking up the chair and the lights keep flashing bright.
The smell of burning flesh and hair are filling up this night.
I cannot be slayed, I refuse to die this way.
I will survive and **** for one more day!!!!

If I were to be compared to the expectations of the world
I would simply be a toy.
Not any normal, high demanded Barbie
But an old forgotten Raggedy Anne.
Sure, it’s true that someone out there must still love such a doll.
But where are they when the poor doll loses its value?
Its beauty?
It’s collector’s touch?
They let it go, forget it, put it either back on the shelf or leave it on the floor
Collecting dust and withering away slowly
All just waiting for the next kid to pick it up and show it love for a little while
All until that child grows bored. Then the process repeats.
Except with each one, not being made of plastic, my seams begin to give.
My fabrics falling apart, my yarn beginning to frizz
Quite an unapealing look.
One that will eventually be thrown out.
And not long after is she forgotten…..
And that’s how a girl’s heart works when she ends up with the wrong guys.
The little boys playing and fantasizing over toys.
But, there are men out there too, just I’m too blind to spot them...

I found a love I cannot have
I found a love in which I want so bad
I found a love so pure inside
I found a desire I wish to hide

A shot at love is so hard to obtain
A shot at love is nothing easy to gain
A shot at love is so easy to destroy
I wish my love was worth more than a useless toy

He said to me with widened eyes
He said to me a bunch of lies
He said to me in a voice more bubbly and sweet than Fanta
That my true name is Romanta

This name means that of a broken heart
This name means I have no place to start
This name means I will never find true love
So now I wonder if this name is something I can rise above

Is it true I will never feel a sense of safety in the arms of a man?
Is it true that this name is the truth in which I've been ******?
Is it true my heart is eternally shattered, never to be mended?
Is it because this is what he has commanded?

I won't let my heart be shattered
I won't let my life not matter
I won't let myself give up hope
I'm not letting go of life's rope!

I will hold on for dear life
I will never again cut with that knife
I will give myself a life in which happiness will find me
I am not bound, I am setting myself free!

So let the memories of him fade
So let my life turn a different shade
So let it be when I see his face, the day I do not see a person I know
For the look and memory of him, I shall let go