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bakunawa Jun 2018
there was a
              perched in
                  my hand
                      and i was
      too afraid to
                           light it
                    yet the horrors
    in the road
        wasn't what
                terrified me,
            it was the destination ahead.
                        the light i held
              sought the
  road to
                 and yet
                       i just know
             it wasn't
                   the road
       i was taking
                nor could it be
          the roads
                     i will be passing...
                                it will be the road
              i take when
                            i finally decide
                                                to take a u-turn.    
with one foot down and a weary knee
                      thinking about
        every afternoon
             going to the 'right' garage
                      after strolling in the
                   wrong neighborhood
                             staring blankly
                                  at all the cities
              all the towns
all the villages
     all the blocks  
          all the intersections
               all the streets
                         in all garages
        that could've possibly been 'right'
                   and one that could've
              possibly been home
    possibly been hope
                         i park at the house.

          all i see is a
                             in front   
                               of me...
                               and the ride back home
                      so far away------
Ambika Jois Nov 2015
Oh I am scared alright
Of what could happen tomorrow
But I can't decide -
Do I fight, accept the sorrow?

All this noise inside me
Sounds like the ending
Am I now free,
Or is this just beginning?

Warped into a vortex
To the point of no return
Black hole or oblivion
Every part of me is burnt
Have mercy on me
I've never come this far before
I don't know who I am anymore
Have mercy, have mercy on me.

Let me feel the good you're feeling
I don't know you're smiling
Can't you see me crying
What answer do you see in me?
This poem is a conversation between me the dreamer, and me as the one who got the dream I wanted. I wrote this poem when I was feeling trapped at a point in time. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know if I was already doing the right thing or I had yet to. It was meant to be the best thing that ever happened to me, but I was not happy about it.
Sometimes the curiosity can **** the soul, but leave the pain.
She watches as her life washes crimson down the drain.
But to her, it is no drain, but the rabbit's hole to Wonderland
To her it isn't suicide, but a ticket to a world more grand
She is tired of the pain she faces everyday and would choose the pill.
Tired of waiting for her chance, and yet follows the White Rabbit still...
Where could her mind be? Gone farther than many had assumed?
How many bottles has she drank? How many pills has she consumed?
"What it is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would.... You see?"
Whose fault is it she attempts to leave us? You? Me?!
"Here they come, to take me from you. Her come my knights!"
Her soft words cause many mindless fights.
We wish her to be safe, we wish to set her free
But how can she be free when she refuses to let the world be?
Always lost in Wonderland, except this time she isn't coming back.
For her world in her head obviously knew what reality lacks.
Yet, now she is gone, her body six feet below the ground.
Her Wonderland inside her head, no longer making another sound....

— The End —