We were the kool kids,
messing up and coming down.
We were the kool kids,
always lost, don't want to be found.
As the kool kids grew older,
jokes became serious, problems defined,
only by the choices of their lost,
curious minds.

Social anxiety/illnesses creep in strong.
The death of my mother,
really driving me wrong.
MS suffering family members,
really getting along.

These kids are still lost, never to be remembered, and forgotten in song.
These kids won't be found, as long as I'm breathing, alive and strong.

And its not...

Torment, guilt, and regret.
These are the fruits of today.
These poisonous fruits,
grow on every tree in my garden.
Aching inside, they laugh at me,
taunt me

These three feelings combined,
wrapped in silk,
ruin my love,
my life
my dreams

'Trapped in a lizard state'.
The singer's echoes,
the words too clear.
Like a lizard, I lay and wait,
biding my time.
Waiting for my prey to walk in the door.

To latch, and to never let go.
To playfully wrestle the bait.
But for now I am waiting,
staring at nothing.

I wonder if Lizards don't sleep much,
because of their dreams.
Cause if so, I am most definitely cold blooded.
Staring into nothing,
waiting for my prey.

A year, a lie.
Constant smiles, bad times.
What could have been avoided,
is now ******* with my mind.

Lost in lost emotions,
Brought on previous devotions,
These are the thoughts that haunt my mind,
And linger like his taste in thine.

Sleeping hasn't been easy,
I'm run down and broken.
Lost in these thoughts,
brought on by these envious emotions.

So while you lay to try and sleep,
remember the boy your trying to keep.
The boy who has lost everything,
his trust and respect in thee.

How can someone who fills me with
such torment,
leave with such joy in life?
She's asleep beside me.

She leaves my soul burning,
but beneath this burning,
is a feeling of bliss.
A feeling better than any position,
or narcotic I've taken in my life.
A feeling as euphoric as heaven
She is my ******.

While I sit here watching, all the good
memories that disappear.
And I intern, become haunted by
everything that taints my affection.

As the clock hits quarter to four, I should probably try get some rest. For within the next 24 hours, I've to be ready to welcome this again.

Here I lie in a room,
alone.
Due to my mood,
its like lying in my own casket.
Posters look at me with empathy,
Posters entice me.
I've been this room alone about 5 hours.
Feels like an eternity since she left.
This posters have been the only ones
keeping me company.
My mind is hollow, empty, filled with
anger and jealousy I cannot describe.
This silence slowly driving me crazy.
Is this purgatory?
Trapped in my head,
in this room,
alone.

I have an occasional distaste,
more of a disgust if you will.
I don't know how this hate
developed.
One day I began seeing humans
as animals, cows, etc.
I'm not a vegetarian,
petty individuals,
following 'trends'
' Is my China fringe high enough?'
' Is my manbun tight enough?'
Both sides reek of stupidity.

Its awful hard to be intellectual when you all look the same,
All you city dwellers, urban outfitters is to blame.
I often sit about, and question humanity,
while I'm comfortable with some of it,
a lot of it makes me laugh,  and soon hopefully will be the end of it

Boredom strikes once again,
I have the right number to call.
Feeling lonely and empty,
I have the right number to call.
Need that confidence boost,
to talk to now girl of my dreams,
I have the right number to call.

The relief is blown off my shoulders,
within 3 or 4 drags of this lost wand.
Then she takes care of me making sure, that there is no discomfort.
No, not anymore.

Such a beautiful plant is open to criticism,
however for me it is a freedom, a release.
An escape from a world I don't want
to particularly be in.

A release that helps **** this anxiety which haunts me.
A release that helps me when I get ****** of random rapes/murders both international and local.
This plant is an escape, your either with
it. Or against it.
I personally  understand and respect for both sides

Laying alone in a tent,
breathing's heavier, sweat is dripping.
I think I've had too much.

Too many festival treats obtained off
friendly vendors, in it as much as you are,
looking for a good time, at a small cost.

The sun begins to rise, heart races faster,
Emotions both empathetic and sympathetic.
I think I've had too much.

Laying in this tent amongst the other sheep in the same boat around me.
I have accepted my faith
This is my fault, will I notify anyone?
No **** it, I don't want to cause a scene,
I'll let them find out

Too many thoughts rushing through my
head,
too many apologies that will be owed, that I won't around for,
I'm filled with self disgust but maybe,
its for the best.
I think I've had too much

Rooms full of tiny paper,
getting a round like the party ****.
Everybody ingests these playful
images, for much more.
Sometimes hoping for less.

Hallways grabbing at my ankles,
Shadows move on demand and breathe.
I quickly dash to the bathroom,
searching for some peace of mind.
Focus: disappeared.
Colour changing loss tiles.
My face nor my mind no longer belong to me.
This place is haunted, and not by some extraterrestrial nor ghosts.
This is my own doing.

As we decide to for a walk,
we stop by a river.
**** and **** by the standby,
in case I act up.
When the sky and the river became one,
I realised I had too much fun,
and must escape.

As me and my friends run to the door,
screams of fear echo in my mind.
The door decides to run away,
little does it know it has 3 sets of big eyes,
on the chase.

We enter the door into this horror styled,
amusement park ride. Where anything can happen. Anything can jump,
no appetite.
I spend my hour in purgatory,
to finally come back a stable-ish
young man.

The Cheshire cat hide at the end of the bed talking he and I both out of these
uncomfortable situations.

Each plea louder then the next.
Eventually she enters the door,
like a lonely animal,
seperated for a lifetime.
I do want I wanted to do,
rest my head upon her breast,
patiently awaiting for sanitys return.

Stuck in bed once again,
A shame to say the least, but I,
always wake up to good company,
the love of my life.
Like a needle in the vain,
sometimes a small quick pain.
But long term, my love belongs to her.
How I could meet someone to feel,
not only this way about or this comfortable
with.

The teenage struggle of no eye contact,
disappeared.
******* seeming like a chore more then a pleasure,
gone.
The sincere textures in this relationship,
weave a Mac Demarco tee which like my relationship,
I hope not to lose or misplace.

She owns my heart, she is my blood.
She knows she's smart,
My brains filled with sludge.

As every other morning,
I wake up to A hug, a kiss.
Affection yearned since an extreme loss.
Supplied by a girl whom breathes my
personal bliss.

Through anxiety's loss,
I entered a shop,
And was introduced to my new friend,
Ambien
We couldn't keep our hands off each other,
So I kissed her twice before leaving the store.
We then went on a little walk, I wanted to know more about her but I really had to read into it.

We arrived home at my girlfriends house,
Surprisingly, to my luck, everybody enjoyed Ambien being around.
She gave everybody a good laugh,
And seemed always warm and
welcoming to the point,
in which we would become confused.

One evening after spending too much
time with Ambie.  My brain began to,
ooze and melt from too much affection.
Arguing with walls,
countless eyes, all staring at me.
Talking to ghosts,
asking them to leave.

As I woke up that night,
I looked to my right.
To realize Amber had left me.
Going through casual short terms monthly.
I still find pieces of her, and I'm clueless   Do I ingest or understand that the past is the past.

Am I more comfortable now or was I too comfortable then?

I find as I sit,
upon this isolated curb.
Flashes pass me,
at exceeding speeds.
I see a girl,
She rushes over to me,
worried and concerned.

As I try regain my thoughts,
She slowly begins to ponder.
'What are you doing here'
No longer could I hold in
'I'm stuck in this torment,
these flashing lights are blinding me, dazing me, but worst of all they're continuously haunting me'

As I hold in the tears in which I have already wept,
she grabs my hand.
Always asserting,
all will be well.
After tears for what seems like hours. I notice the flashes are gone.
The woman takes my hand, and proceeds to take me away from this cursed highway towards her car,
until I get lost again