you find yourself alone
slumped in the corner
your knees to your chest
curtains drawn so not even the dawn can ask you how you're doing

all these years, you've swallowed the tears
as if they were bitter pills that would banish your fears
one more beer, one more hour
three hundred minutes thinking in the shower
your heart racing at the thought that this will all be over

you find yourself in bed
not asleep but drifting in the middle
every word you know becomes a riddle
every motion feels like a chore
drowning in an ocean without a shore

you lie there to your side
nothing to keep
but everything to hide

the silence
is deafening
and you never do get used to it
and you find yourself
talking with the dog
because the dog won't leave your side

and you don't dare look in the mirror
because the mirror would only look back
your only solace is but the cold and black
of sleep
you don't want any dreams
you don't want to weep
you just want the darkness
all day
and only the darkness
you keep

"why?"

he sits in the corner
of his deserted mind
where not even he
wants to keep
himself company.
the smell of
broken dreams
pang the air.
he feels tired.
he feels wasted.
but most of all
he feels
        




                                                            ­           alone.





and all he wanted
was a sign
from someone
from anyone
just to know
that he wasn't
the only one
who felt this way.

pearls of sweat swell on bodies golden
at the dancing heart of pagan Rome;
orgastic stares and touches molten
light the synesthesia pleasuredome.

the gods eat diamonds from the grapevine
while virgins undress their silken shame;
red-faces boast as blood turns to wine:
tonight roam ***** tongues without name.

nymphs hold cornucopia spirits high;
they all hover inches from the ground,
spraying the mob to dew ev'ry eye;
endless voices converge to one sound.

ambrosia, the food of the divine,
is nothing but mortal invention:
to think of pleasure is to make it mine,
all of us in bubbled imagination.

fruit tastes better forbidden
i can't stop myself
i'm breaking all these promises
like a ******* animal
i'm writhing
squirming
a seizure of ***** pleasure
torment!
demons dance around my head
like flower girls
splaying the ground with sin
i'm a ******* animal
thoughts pulsing
a constant state of primal ******
controlling me
like a leash
dangling meat in front of my face
somebody purge me
exorcize me from this
and distill the evil
and cast the black water into the sea

i beg
for my
catharsis

i found myself
like an old photograph in the attic,
a portrait of me
trapped in time

i discovered the monochrome
light and shadow
that was born and remained
since the blinding white
of the camera flash

i studied my sepia eyes
and saw that, indeed
my eyes never lost
their luster

Dance can't keep still;
she never could.

Music, perhaps the oldest of them all,
is the gracious host:
a voice all recognize.

Acting has a love/hate relationship
with everyone in the room
including himself.

Pottery daydreams
of ancient glory.
(Fashion hasn't got the time for that.)

Architecture and Sculpture
compare dresses.

Cooking tries to decode
the recipe for dessert.

Painting and Drawing
soak up the garden's view,
while Writing goes around
asking what everyone's up to.

Photography stops
and stares for a while.

Video voyeurs the place,
much to Love's embarrassment.

Lastly, we have Poetry:
the lovechild of all the Arts.
He is amazed by the shape of his hands
and spends his time drawing shadows
and chasing cars.

sleep-----fat--------eat------grunt------sleep----------some-----­-------less----------
-------like----bears-----and--------and----­---through-------meaning-----life-----
fight----strong----laugh--­---cry-------fight------------your------------ful----------

underneath the blue ocean,
deep in god's eternal gaze,
inside a woman's emotion,
wandering the evergreen maze,

between a bird's beak and feather,
behind the ancient cellar door,
through seams of velvet and leather,
swimming the seas of salvador,

in the taste of honey sweet,
across the valleys of a face,
on the bottom of a lady's feet,
dancing on the clouds with grace,

beautiful worlds in beautiful words,
my true heart's pleasure,
beautiful worlds in beautiful words,
my true mind's treasure.

i have
a birthmark
shaped like
a cloud
but then again
   everything
  is shaped
     like a
      cloud

for a millisecond,
where they see nothing,
i see *infinity

Dear Lord, I am here on my knees, crying,
For I have strayed and my faith is dying;
Holy Shepard, guide me back to God's route;
Make me pure and cleanse me as I cry out:
           Come, Lord Jesus, Come!

Lord, I undress my sinful soul to you;
I bare it all, everything's in your view;
And I feel your merciful eyes on me,
I get closer to you and say with glee:
           Come, Lord Jesus, Come!

Dear Lord, I can feel your holy presence;
In your embrace, I can taste your essense;
I can feel your passion, your fire, your heat;
And on this night I joyfully repeat:
           Come, Lord Jesus, Come!

Lord, I worship your body and kiss your feet;
Our hearts come together and share one beat;
You opened me and entered me with love,
And to this blessed act I shout up above:
           Come, Lord Jesus, Come!

Dear Lord, you cleanse me and ****** out my sin!
You penetrate my soul and place God in!
You reach to the darkest regions of me,
And instill the comfort of Christianity:
           Come, Lord Jesus, Come!

Lord, you erase all my mistakes and woes;
I can feel your power from my head to toes;
Like a white horse, you are pure and perfect;
As you work your miracle, I loudly inject:
           Come, Lord Jesus, Come!

Dear Lord, you release me from damnation,
And pour on me your holy salvation,
And I am again innocent and gay;
And as you depart, I thank you and say:
           Come, Lord Jesus, Come!

will i be noticed
like a single note removed
from the melody of a song?

or will i be faceless
like a single blade of grass
in god's backyard lawn?

will i be missed
like a missing tooth?

or will i be forgotten
like a plaything from youth?

only time will tell.

I could have saved you.
I wish I did.
I was supposed to be
Your deus ex machina,
God from the Machine.
But apparently
God was not enough
To stop the ambush
And prevent the explosion
That engulfed you in flames and lead-filled smoke.
You roasted alive.
And I watched you die.
Memories lost forever
In an instant.
A voice never to be heard again.
Unless
Somehow
I could turn back time
And have another chance
To save you
Before I saved
myself.

If only everyone
Had a clockwork angel
Guarding their side...

jokes, no limits
everybody needs to laugh, to dream
so let's rush and get away
spend the weekend with vampires
extroverts not needed

just need a friend to get by
(or i'd probably go insane)
read, write, listen with me
don't think i don't care about you:
of all the somethings and someones,
nothing compares to this, to you

Under dark stars and the chill of desert night
they twist and turn in their bed, restless;
their voices crying out—
help me, listen to me, love me
and I do.

And so I sew their tears and worries into the web of my skin
and carry them along with me as I go,

Because I am the dreamcatcher—
who takes nightmares and trades them for dreams,
who breathes in burden and

...holds

                  ...burden

                                        ...in

who seals sorrow within the strings and feathers of his soul
until they disappear at the dawn.

And I weave, weave, weave a web—
until my strings and feathers are heavy
with their doubt, shame, and misery.

And with a sigh, those voices are hushed, quiet like earth;
they travel through the wind, and float to the stars.

i am the bringer of my demise
and by my preparation i meet surprise
by my quest for knowledge i am no longer wise
by my courage to stand i can no longer rise

o! i curse the day i was born
let no one cry, let no one mourn
for everything i fix becomes all the more torn
by reaching for a halo do i grow evil horns

i am the flame that suffocates itself with its own rage
i am the runaway who runs himself into his own cage
by asking for more i lower my wage
by clinging to youth i hasten my age

o! the gods must think it hilarious
to make my every good nefarious
to make my every position precarious
and my only pleasure vicarious!

if anything is to be learned at all
it is that i am boxing with an iron wall:
the harder i punch the harder i fall
for what is a wall compared to a fleshly doll?

I. the apparition

i don't fear death,
i fear never being born;
i fear not my last breath,
but all the breaths in between;
how do i know i'm alive?

II. the left foot

for what purpose is the sun without its light?
for what use are eyes without their sight?
for what good is a left foot without the right?
and for what joy is a string without its kite?
will i ever be complete?

III. father

as branches grow to the shape of their roots,
as vermillion bloodies every spring with a drop:
could i escape original sin?
could i become a better man--
could i become my own man?

IV. aneurysm

would lightning dare blaze up a tree
that has yet to bear fruit?
would the gods dare strike down an artist
with a painting unfinished?
fate is neither cruel nor fair.

I want you
unbuttoned
your chest bare
for my fingers to caress
like a figure-skater
around a ring of ice

I want to feel
your cold, electric touch
shivering every cell
of my body
making me feel
like a pineapple
turning inside-out

and as pleasure and pain
blend to the same color
I want you
to look into my eyes
and tell me
you burn
on the kiss of my tongue
and cry
on the taste of my skin

my heart sleeps on a bed of fur
on bodies that snuggle up and purr
the warmth of your leg touching mine
i'm not drunk but i'm blushing wine

and i can hear the red parade
that marching drummer brigade
their warm beat showers and soars
drumming from my chest to yours

and i close my eyes
and see
              a million fireflies
like a million twinkling stars
like a million blinking cars
   little lanterns that decorate the air
like christmas morning

i lay there with you
and enjoy the view in front of us
and i smile
when you tell me
that you see them too

She is beautiful
Like a dancing flame

With eyes as enticing
As her name

She is a shooting star
In the dark of the night

Flying so far away
To an unreachable height

Twinkling, shining
While someone makes a wish

Indeed there is an ocean
But there is only one fish

You deserve to be judged
By the story of your roots;
You deserve to be trudged
Upon by our hardened boots;

You deserve to be slaved
By endless toil and grind;
You deserve to be saved
From the thoughts of your mind;

You deserve to be loveless
Until you repent for your sins;
You deserve to be hopeless
Until our clan finally wins;

There can be no joy without pain;
There can be no sky without rain;
There can be no freedom without fate;
There can be no love without hate.

have you         seen everything
ever felt      everything at once
a blackout                   from hell
'cause that's         heaven's fear
how it                          feels real
feels to                           be alive
be without                      fear or
you or                      truly know
your love                       i've felt

too lazy
too hot
can't think

heat expands air
ballooning our heads
double in size

the sun peppers the ground
so we wouldn't taste our footprints
on our eggs on the sidewalk

they say - no, they scream - the end is near
i'm not sure about that but i think hell had a gas leak
or does god want to bake his people into fresh gingerbread?

When your world crumbles apart—
And you're dragged back to the start—

     Hold on.

When all your candles have died—
And all your teachers have lied—

     Hold on.

When your heart gives away—
And your bones turn to clay—

      Hold on.

Hold on to the seams that bind you—
Hold on to what you know to be true—

Hold on to the ones you love---
And know that that will be enough---

      Hold on tightly
      and never let go—

      Hold on tightly
      until you finally know—

Hold on.

step 1:
random-add everyone you see
without liking any of their poetry
to get follow-backs for free

step 2:
make your poem trendy
usually about love
heartbreak, loneliness,
lust, or whatever has the most hashtags these days

step 3:
speaking of hashtags
make sure to sprinkle your poem
with as much hashtags as possible
(don't even think about if they're related
or not)
#love #trending #anoerxia
#*** #death #zucchini

step 4:
if you're running out of ideas
grab something mildly poetic from a song
shake it up a little
and trim it down to about ten words

step 5:
don't forget to make your poem short
because people don't have the attention span
to complete anything these da

step 6:
watch the view numbers come rolling in
and count them like money

congratulations!
you win *nothing.

I’m in bed, half-asleep with the morning rays seeping through the blue curtains, and I'm holding you in my arms, you who I truly love. We feel warm and touch skins, our legs intertwined, eyes locked to infinity,

And I’ll be thinking to myself. Thinking how I finally made it. How I built myself, my own masterpiece, from the ground-up. How I grew, through the rough weather and poor soil, grew higher than anyone ever imagined – my leaves and petals reaching up to the sky, embracing the sweet, cool rain falling and baptizing me into a new life. And I'd feel truly, fully alive.

And I’d wonder just how lucky I am to have met someone like you who understands me and who I want to understand: I’d be the last actor to leave the stage, and I’d go down to meet you, my audience of one, and we’d remove our masks and see our true selves and we'd talk and fall in love until all the stars die and the cold takes us. And even in the dark, we'd know the other was there. And we’d be the only ones who knew each of our little secrets, and we’d hide them in our secret places: hidden between the wrinkles of our brains, behind our ears, sealed in the spaces between our fingers, and woven into the seams of our palms and knees.

And when our time has finally come, I’d let my ashes mix with yours, so not even death could separate my heart from yours. And we’d fly into a capsule rocket to the moon, and we’d circle the earth and see the stars until everything else has turned to ash.

And I'd slowly get up and make us breakfast – some eggs and coffee, just the way you like it – and I’d hear a precious murmur behind me, whispering, unexpectedly, with a smile:

*I love you.

if i ever thought
i thought of you

if i ever dreamt
i dreamt of you

if i ever sang
i sang of you

if i ever prayed
i prayed of you

if i ever swam
i swam of you

if i ever breathed
i breathed of you

if i ever wondered
i wondered of you

if i ever awed
i awed of you

if i ever howled
i howled of you

if i ever waited
i waited of you

if i ever laughed
i laughed of you

if i ever cried
i cried of you

if i ever walked
i walked of you

if i ever spoke
i spoke of you

if i ever dreamt
i dreamt of you

if i ever thought
i thought of you

when god made a sun
brighter than the sun
the sun was the brightest
(and the sun was you)

when god made a sea
deeper than the sea
the sea was the deepest
(and the sea was you)

when god made a sky
higher than the sky
the sky was the highest
(and the sky was you)

if god made you
greater than you
you would be no one
(and god would be you)

this silence is evil. my demons don’t scratch, ****, or tempt. they place a sickly old finger to my lips with one hand and clutch my throat with the other, draining my face blue.

i suffocate in silence.

my voice, once big, is shrinking to a whimper. barely anyone hears me – barely anyone knows i'm here. i'm just someone to sit with, someone with a history, someone to feel sorry for for a few seconds, someone who'll shut up and listen to them talk about themselves all day, someone you brush off in a few words, someone not worth your breath.

and the worst part is, you don’t know me. no one does. and all my candles slowly die, one by one. darkness consuming the light, wretched invisible eyes smiling at me from the abyss.

and nobody cares. nobody listens. nobody asks why.

i'm terrified to the bone. i'm turning into someone i don’t want to. this cancer is eating me up, and it will eat until there is nothing left but empty thoughts and crushing regret. this pent-up anger, this introverted angst, not to others but to myself – i just wanna break something. rip it to pieces, burn it and throw it in a lake. punch it until my fist draws blood – until my fist becomes my ****** heart and my ****** heart becomes my ****** fist.

i am holden caulfield, but i don’t want to be.

These hands of mine are yours
You can do whatever you like:
I shall stand or kneel on all fours;
Move me to peace or move me to strike.

You can do whatever you like;
I am your guardian hound.
Move me to peace or move me to strike,
I shall do at your voice's sound.

I am your guardian hound
Who offers eternal loyalty;
I shall do at your voice's sound,
My queen, my royalty.

Who offers eternal loyalty?
I shall stand or kneel on all fours.
My queen, my royalty,
These hands of mine are yours.

You are the itch I can't ever scratch,
you trickle and ***** my thoughts
like sandpaper to a match,

latching onto the roots of my head,
you are the one stalking my thinking space
in and between the hours I lay on my bed,

and I tell myself that you're nothing to me,
a dusty web on the corner of my mind,
you are, I tell myself, nothing to me,

that you are the vexing fly I can't catch,
and I tell myself you are nothing to me,
nothing but the itch I can't ever scratch,

when i loved you
i loved all of humanity

when you killed me,
you killed all of humanity

he made her                love letters,  composed               wordless love songs
because that is what           they would do in         movies nobody has seen
paradise was once         the home he built                   out of cells and sinew
to whom they could do    whenever they wanted   everything one wanted
love: to become             two star-crossed lovers            is not what he wants
indivisible but       invisible, faceless conversations                  no, he wants
unique souls                      across a sea of                        infinitely many stars
to whom                       unintelligible vowels             love wisdom and truth
she, in turn,                     the goddess of love,                 he kneels and prays
could do the same              unbound by ***                would love him again

love is not perfect—
love is bending down and retying your shoe laces
over and over and over again

love is not peace—
love is the way screams and broken plates litter the floor
while heated lips crash in a passionate embrace

love is not forever—
love is the infinitesimal space between clasped wrinkled hands
of old lovers who have already seen everything beautiful in the world

love is not pretty—
love is rough
and violent,
testing,
maddening,
but undeniably
beautiful.

Gasping lips and swimming fingers,
Shadows dance on an ocean of skin
While above, an electric air lingers:
The smell of *** and sweat and sin;
They crash like violent waves to the shore,
Through themselves and into the other,
Caresses that echo, kisses that beg more,
A wild embrace, flesh tearing flesh asunder,
Thunder swelling up, grey clouds erupting,
Lightning spiking the sea between the two,
A final, silencing gasp

                                  pinnacles the storm's wrath.
As rain divide, the tumultuous sky corrupting
Breaking down while the sun breaks anew:
A stairway of light illuminates heaven's path

our lips, are raptors,
talons inter,twined in flight;
the sun, on the sea raptures
and beckons us with light;

we are beak,ed seraphim
entangled in a vic,ious embrace;
feverish blood rac,es and swims
within the snare, of our veins enlaced;

each caged in st,eel feathers,
spine grazing spine, eye slashing eye;
we, a comet tha,t rapidly withers,
conjoined icarus fall,ing from the sky

we will crash in,to electric waves,
flanked by cliffs made, of thunder;
on to our vi,olent graves,
we will tear, each,other asunder.

the stars run away with me
(better than none for company!)
we'll hitch a ride on the last train,
then belt our hearts out in the rain!
we will be as we will be,
we will be as we are free!

Wilderness their sight, her brown eyes contain the bright
Universe -- she is a graceful phoenix in flight;
Golems of the golden earth bow to this fire bird;
Two fiery wings spread -- she is the light of the world,
Prometheus's daughter, vanquisher of night:
Withered grass resurrect and bloom do flowers burned
Meaning rejoice! she comes with the warm dawn returned!

To our teacher, our friend, our cook, our nurse...
To the greatest mom in the universe,
Please accept this humble dedication
(A sign of our pure appreciation)
To all the good things you do and have done.
We love you, mom! Love, your daughter and son.