you find yourself alone
slumped in the corner
your knees to your chest
curtains drawn so not even the dawn can ask you how you're doing

all these years, you've swallowed the tears
as if they were bitter pills that would banish your fears
one more beer, one more hour
three hundred minutes thinking in the shower
your heart racing at the thought that this will all be over

you find yourself in bed
not asleep but drifting in the middle
every word you know becomes a riddle
every motion feels like a chore
drowning in an ocean without a shore

you lie there to your side
nothing to keep
but everything to hide

the silence
is deafening
and you never do get used to it
and you find yourself
talking with the dog
because the dog won't leave your side

and you don't dare look in the mirror
because the mirror would only look back
your only solace is but the cold and black
of sleep
you don't want any dreams
you don't want to weep
you just want the darkness
all day
and only the darkness
you keep