Where did all the ambition go?
The drive I had to succeed?
Why can’t I summon the strength,
Now that I’ve come to this length?

Life is full of emotions,
Sun rays, thunder and rain.
But what truly makes one strong,
Is the burning hatred, searing pain.

Life can be a holocaust,
Life can be a candy cane.
But what truly makes one strong,
Is the burning hatred, searing pain.

It’s that time of the year,
To sit down, and to reflect.
I’m doing what I can,
But the pieces won’t connect.

Thoughts that were in my head,
Left alone for much too long.
Unwritten, unexpressed,
They rotted before I can write this song.

I should have written them down,
Captured those precious moments.
Because I can no longer feel them,
As though they faded in seconds.

How can I make reflections,
When I don’t know what occurred?
When I don’t know how I felt,
When my memories are blurred?

I want to relive those moments,
Retake the year’s journey.
To put together the lost pieces.
Lest they be left behind, those memories.

How can a piece of plastic,
Mean the world to me?
Hold the depth of memories,
That runs deeper than the sea?

Would anyone really care,
If I vanished without a trace?
If my screams echoed the hallways,
If briny tears stained my face?

Everyone is bonded so strongly,
How can I join these ties?
Will I always be an outsider,
Seen as nothing more than a fly?

What am I doing wrong?
Can you help me understand?
Do I not deserve your kinships,
What’s wrong with who I am?

*I want for someone to care,
To catch me if I fall.
Because if no one cares about you,
Do you exist at all?

Poetry shines with light and beauty,
True art woven by intricate words.
It can sing songs so stunning,
That it outshines the best of songbirds.

But that’s only half of the story...

Poetry also grows in cold dark places,
In the pits of immense pain.
Fed by air filled with suffering,
Nurtured by acid rain.

As it shines with such light and beauty,
Poetry embraces true darkness.
What a conundrum it is,
That we can have *beautiful madness.

Don’t feel the need to apologise,
Don’t be afraid to let go.
For I find myself mesmerised,
By the rambles from your soul.

Her eyes are almost dead,
Struggling to get out of bed.
As she begins to dress,
In the mirror she sees a mess.

There’s so much she can do,
But there’s also nothing to do.
Nothing at all gets done,
She clutches her head as it spun.

Those crimson pools of dread,
Slowly filling up my chest.
Utterly confused and utterly alone,
Am I a young child in a war zone?

The adrenaline, the invincibility,
There was nothing that could stop me.
Testing the end of my limits,
As though my life had but minutes.

Restraints shed, I was unleashed,
A wild animal finally released.
And my potential energy,
Exploded in a cloud of ecstasy.

And my blood was finally singing again…

For I am animal that can't be chained...

I can feel the pounds of burden,
Weighing on my chest.
It hurts more than anything,
I only want to rest.

I want to cry my heart out,
I want to scream my lungs open.
The everlasting pounds of agony,
Leaves me beat and broken.

Why? Why on earth am I the way I am?

Do you remember who you were,
The great songwriter, the passionate poet?
Intelligence rolls off you in waves,
Why do you hide it?

Do you remember who you were,
The kind classmate, the loving friend?
But you act so aloof and cold,
Why must you pretend?

In your pursuit for flings and,
In your pursuit for popularity,
You’ve left something behind,
And that happens to be me.

Because I see your hurt spirit,
One in need of saving.
That your hidden porcelain heart,
Is broken, and in need of mending.

You’re broken, beautiful, and in need of awakening.

Or…

Am I deluding myself?
Do you not want a saviour?
Perhaps the dark life you’ve got,
Is the one you desire.

*But I don’t want to believe you are lost to me.

Everything is blissful in the light of day,
But at night the demons starts to play.
Every fear comes alive in the dark of night,
When I am too worn and too tired to fight.

*When every horrid memory comes crawling back...
Distorted, amplified and in a full-on attack...