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I am weak and getting worse
My heart beats a haunting curse


You sit across the room, so beautiful
I forget what it's like to see you
 May 2014 Heliza Rose
Lunar
beware when you fall in love
with an artist
be it a painter, a singer, or poet

for the artist will
paint you
with strokes and hues
in shapes of every kind

sing about you
with heartbreak lyrics
and feelings which rhyme

write about you
with the simplest words
and a secret message she wants to say

beware of the artist,
and her love
one wrong move
and you're an artwork in her display
 May 2014 Heliza Rose
Tate Morgan
I had a great, great, grandmother
still alive when I was a child
She was my grandpas, grandmother
even then she was a bit wild
Born in eighteen seventy eight
on a buckboard in Missouri
She had come a long way by then
she was fit and full of fury

We played cards everyday with her
beating her nearly made her weep
"Poopie, kacky, nanny" she'd say
"looks like it's time for you to sleep"
She'd wake me nearly every night
she returned from playing bingo
I'd play with her, games of euchre
sports of chance and foreign lingo

She would walk wherever she went
eat apples, including the core
Cuss and drink, then give me a wink
as she pulled the cards from her drawer
At times she would regress somewhat
"grandpa quit me in thirty four
Thought me uptight, he wasn't right
wouldn't run *** with me no more"

Her first picture was a tin type
"I was a looker in my day
I turned heads in the finest spreads
back then, I always got my way"
She witnessed many inventions
electric, lights to cars and trains
the first to own, a telephone
where she'd talk through the morning rains

At ninety she and I would watch
as three men circled round the moon
"We'll be on Mars, and then the stars
if I don't kick off pretty soon"
She lived to see her kids away
making sure they were buried right
"Yep" she'd say "I put them away
tucked em in for the winters night"

Once when we were playing football
and the game was getting quite tense
She'd sauntered by, looking quite spry
  I knocked her down, along the fence
She got up and kicked me senseless
too many bananas and beer
"Now you know, how to take a blow
don't ever show them any fear"

Granny was an institution
a relic of our bygone days
Laughter and tears, poured from her years
her sometimes odd and senile ways
She had outlived all her children
and a couple of grand-kids too
War nor drought, could put her light out
the toughest broad I ever knew

Tate
Our roots are almost always interesting. I think in my case I loved the roots to my great great grandmother. She was an institution. Older than Methuselah. I thought she was sister to father time. But she always seemed to take a liking to me.
 May 2014 Heliza Rose
AD Sifford
One click was all it took
And I was hooked
Once glance, yeah just one look
And my faith was shook
One sin, my world caved in
Flooding in with water to my chin
And I still can't believe it all came down
With one click

And the devil said to me,
"Boy, you belong to me
And you'll never be free
Your heart is bound to me with

One click" was all it took
And I was hooked
Once glance, yeah just one look
And my faith was shook
One sin, my world caved in
Flooding in with water to my chin
And I still can't believe it all came down
With one click

Now God I'm on my knees
For the millionth time I plead
Do not abandon me
Pour your light down on me

One man is what it took
It's in your book
A lamb who had not sinned
One cross, his blood was lost
But you raised Him up again
One hope is all I have
And I am glad
That You are the God You are
Because I know that by your strength I'll overcome
That once click
|Written 2011|

I thought of myself as a "good" Christian boy. I'd loved God my whole life. Never let a cuss word come to my lips, opposed every kind of evil, and loved for good to triumph in all things. I wanted God's way--his Will to be done.
It all came down with one click of the mouse. MY sense of innocence--along with my misplaced pride--was broken. Instantly I was ensnared by a new beast I never knew or could have imagined lived within me. I became addicted to *******, a slave to all available forms of lust. I was a sinner, fully realized. I tasted death and slept with it. And some point after that breaking point, I finally truly understood the Love of the God who yet pursued me, and offered me freedom, grace, and forgiveness. It was then I learned his love. Then I began to be truly humbled. Then I learned to love others. And then that I realized just what Christ has truly done for me--for you...for us all.
He taught me how to take hold of the freedom from sin, the freedom that He purchased for us by taking our place on the cross. The cross, where horizontal met vertical, heaven met earth, righteousness and sin, God and man collided.

Though scars remain, as do struggles, and temptations, and weakness, healing and growth, maturity and refining do come through Him.

I was freed from a daily, 2+ year addiction, about 3 years ago. Do I still slip up? Yes. Am I perfect? Not even close. But God reminds me of my dependence on Him, shows me his faithfulness through me, grants me more strength as I grow into it and learn, and I become better, slowly, all the time. There are slips and backslides, but where I lose footing once, God brings me a greater number steps forward.
Maturity is a slow thing. Faithfulness is formed through years of fire. But it all works for the better in the end.

And through my experiences, addiction, depression, brokenness, shame, and hopelessness, this heart in me has formed in new ways; I can relate to you, know your struggle, walk you with me back through the processes that bettered me, and healed me, and allowed me to know freedom. I can show you why I have hope, and that God has always been faithful, and how He has. I have love for my enemies, and have compassion for the worst, the most lost, of sinners.  I am a sinner.  But a righteous God knows me. He loves us. All of us. And He grace for every one. We're his children. Nothing can ever change that. Literally, nothing can. He will always forgive the repentance in the heart of one of his broken children, and He understands our weakness better than we even do. And He even felt it as a man, and knows it as God. Trust Him. And He will give you a better life. The one He made you for.

God bless.

- ADSciple // A.D. Sifford,  [May 22, 2014; 18:24]

I've done some songwork with One Click. All that's finished at this time is the vocal melody.

© 2017 A.D. Sifford.
I'm okay with you sharing my poems, but I ask that you show courtesy. Please be honest about the authorship by attributing it to my name. Thank you,
- Sifford
 May 2014 Heliza Rose
Z
To me,
you have always been a reflex
as natural as
vomiting, coughing, and sneezing
(albeit more pleasant—
sometimes).
Somewhere in my medulla oblongata,
something
is telling me to love you
but I suppose that something
might be tainted by a ghastly neurological disorder
because this
just isn’t working out.
Daughter
So young
In my mind you sleep
Your tiny hands
The love in your eyes
It will be my downfall

Daughter
Someday I'll meet you
And show you the world
Take you down paths
That I once walked

Daughter
So warm
I'll sit along
Your hospital bed
Through your first ever sleep
From the moment you're born
My life won't be the same

Daughter
I wait
Because I know it's for you
The piece of my life
That will fix me forever

Daughter
You're everything
All that I need
The clasp of your hand
I know will complete me

Daughter
You're older
Have a child of your own
But always I love you
The seed of my heart.
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