i need to stop attaching
your face to love songs
and romanticizing a love
that was never real

as i reached
and stroked your hair
untangling the knots
watching you stir
eyes closed
lips parting slightly
i realized how comfortable
silence was for us
how a caress to your skin
agitated my heart
and i think i've grown used
to loving you like this
loving you in silence

I never liked how you
abbreviate certain terms,
omit your punctuations,
lowercase your ‘I’s.

I was raised to be scrupulous,
to spell the word as they are,
to add periods at the end of sentences,
to capitalize my pronouns.

Correcting you became a habit of mine,
I rather liked the red flush in your face,
the downward tug of your lips,
how you'd avoid my gaze.

Still, you managed to find a way,
to gain the upper hand,
with a smirk on your lips,
your careless fingers sent:

“ i luv ya ”

With the tables now turned,
a scorching heat spread on my face,
I frowned as I stared at the text,
deliberately avoiding your gaze.

You never had a way with words,
you abbreviate certain terms,
you omit your punctuations,
you lowercase your ‘I’s.

However, i rather liked how it's so very you.

Perhaps, that is why...

“ I love you too. ”

you are always leaving me
yet waiting is what i do best
i collect every fragment of you
and let it fill the void inside
but remnants are never enough
is it wrong for me to desire?
to talk about our future together
as you lay under the rubbles
of your ruined past?
i am no virtuous saint
but i want to leave this hell
yet waiting is what i do best

her eyes glint in the sunlight
a beautiful, profound blue
something warm lingers
a spark within me brew

when she stares up at me
my cold cheeks heat
as dark wisps of her hair
dances in the breeze

she was a bright starlight
racing down the night sky
in a bright, brilliant arc
making hearts all around sigh

i find myself chasing her
i really had no shame
because at times like these
i was a moth drawn to a flame

i question this feeling often
is this love at first sight?
or was it an obsessive attraction?
maybe i was just lonely tonight

you call me a coward
for confessing my heart
through a piece of paper
rather than with my lips
perhaps because
ink dries much faster
than these tears do
acetone can disguise the truth
at the tip of my ballpoint pen
and paper may be shredded
for these feelings to not exist

little balerina
glides gracefully with ease
the soles of her feet bleed
but her smile aimed to please

little balerina
each twirl immortalized her
prancing around me like magic
everything she does is a blur

little balerina
i can see her smile wavering
as she dances with such splendour
around a truth she's been denying

little ballerina
such a beautiful form of art
but it's time she accepted now
an end that broke her heart

the smell of bitter grapes
unwarrented affections
i need to stop letting myself
drown in these things

i chew on the shards
of my broken heart
wearing out my enamels
bleeding out my gums
devouring the pain
slitting down my throat
you tower over keenly
i craned my neck beaming
doubtful eyes swept over
discoloured lips
crimson stained teeth
but a smile is flattering
so please don't fret
you can trust me
i am fine i am okay
the pain no longer fazes me

death is quite the beauty, is she not?
in choked desolation, we yearn her
a lovely coquette to our misery
until she closes in to the innocent
and becomes an object of our scorn

so, we boycott her dreadful existence
cursing when she calls out our name
for life who we cherish so fondly
but for death we do not do the same
letting her drown in a reservoir of loathe

if death was ever personified
she would live her life a social pariah
as the world tries to nullify her worth
tainting her dignity with pure disdain
in such dolour, even she yearns herself

the great civilization has fallen
its remnants scattered all around
as walking corpses roam the living
it dawned on me after a millennium
just how ephemeral human beauty was
time would not stop if i died tomorrow
not even the universe will mourn for me

then one somnolent night
she danced under the misty light
her face coated with delight
an escape from her petty plight
reassuring herself it was alright

i rolled my eyes and let out a sigh
a twitching smile i could not hide
as the feeling landed with a smite
it was easier if i just denied
falling in love with her at first sight

the smell of money
pass the fusion of aged oak and amber
almost leaves off a scornful stench
pretentious by virtue of their existence
but, lately, i have been so lonely
that the smell of money
subtly reeks the odour of  𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦

a mermaid perching on a rock
in the vast but forlorn sea
salty tears trail down her pale face
her weep seasoning the blue water
and burn the slashes on her face

perhaps i should have not stared
and let my heart pulsate at her song
seducing me into her pool of sodium
pulling me under the ocean floor
alas, sending my lungs aflame

now i drown in her reservoir of pain
as she carves her scars on my face
still, i am charmed forever to believe
she was stealing my breath away

in a battlefield
when your mind wages war
against that woman and i
for your heart's commitment
i will surrender this futile fight
for i cannot keep questioning my worth
every time i beg for your loyalty

i am so desperate for his affection
that if he held out a cup of poison
i would've accepted it with glee
convincing myself the burn it left
was his dose of warmth for me

often times
she felt like a splotch
daubed carelessly
with splashes of paint
an accidental smear
in a canvas of his artistry
every intricate detail
resembling a complex puzzle
viewers strived to complete

the art connoisseur cannot help
but stagger back in disbelief
acrylics stained his fingertips
calling her beautiful mishaps
the most wonderous masterpiece

and when i told him
just how beautiful he was
tossing a pomegranate seed in the air
and catching it gracefully
between his rose-coloured lips
it seems the pomegranate juice
had temporarily stained his pale cheeks

i almost believed

the taste of your faux honeyed words
dripping fron the corners
of your mouth
convincing myself
i was savouring nectar
as i stared into
your bright blue eyes
wet as tar
the hue so innocent
so persuasive
reminding me not to be so invasive

and when you leaned in
to whisper
"the only person i wish to marry is you"
i cant help but wonder
if you tell your other lover that too