his dying breath was hollow
you could see the dark in his eyes
it was drizzling from morning
grey mourning with a white sky
there were more but empty
spent by the masters and sage
corpses lined in a beautiful dream
one you see when you cannot wake

he too made peace with the scars
eaten away never to be whole
only the sound of his failing heart
called a name amidst the roars
between the journey and end
within the coffin of despair
there he laid mine nameless friend
whilst corpses danced everywhere

the dead won't say a morbid word
deaf and blind from all the screams
rotting angles by a mothers hurt
buried with them love and dreams
he laid there ever so softly
in the middle as the song raged
Buddha of war, they all must be
burning cold as they fade

into the endless nothingness
as the hell breathes them in
forever to hear the silence
so that the world can sing

Propel me in the direction of faith
For i find it hard to believe
Come soon , don't be late
Only for the time being i can be reached
Then the gates will be closed
the key will be lost to the reasons
Winds will blow again
And soon there'll be a different season
I'll mellow down to rubble
For i have no where to be
Absorbed in the hollow walls
Where no one can see me
Hidden away in-front of you
But my colours never show
I know you look for me
You'll find me , i know
But come soon , before i change
Colours are changing , i feel strange
I can see it in my eyes
I'm forgetting your name
How long can i hold myself
how long can you hold-on
Scars never cared for what I've felt
Without you , how can i go-on
Your hands will miss the embrace
My eyes will always look for your face
I know roads aren't infinite
But i know there'll always be a different day
A different morning will miss you , plead you to stay
Every-night will haunt me , beg me to stay away
Our hearts will collide in confusion
Memories lying on the ground in union
Dreams washed of all that haunts
Wishes and prayers full of wants
It pains and it makes me cold
Your touch , i never want to let go
In your arms , i want to get old
My life-you , as it unfolds
And complete me every moment
Serenity of a peaceful heart
A longing that can never be desired
Song of age that will last
Heads down , searching for the skies
Remembering how we once used to fly
Beyond the grey clouds and the horizon
Into the quite night without a good-bye
Made into shadows , a shade too dark
Land on rocks , crude and sharp
Hurt ourselves and bleed disguise
But we never were really wise
Naive , but pure
Now we'll never be that sure
You'll never be the same again
Maybe we'll never know again
My emptiness will forever remind
I'll never find you again
But come soon , I'll wait
For i never want to lose you again.

I will never wear a smile,
With these morbid words on my lips
Trapped inside my mind,
And I may not ever escape from it
Broken pieces of my being,
That somehow never did fit
Knocking on heavens door
As I take another hit
Moment of truth is gone,
Wish It had taken me with it
Left behind a string of lies,
Cutting me open with shards and bits
No more will I seek sunrise,
sun has fallen back to the abyss
As I walk on the road of mayhem,
every star in the sky is now lit
I burn with wrath of a million stars,
As they shine upon my scars
No more will I seek the azure
As I hold the night sky in my heart,
A blanket of dark for my tears,
That fall from the heavens lair  
But with every dusk you can hear,
On-set of my bleeding nightmares
You can run from me in the sun,
But in shadows you'll find me there
You can run from me in the day,
But at night i'll be everywhere
You could fight me when I was in pain
But how will you fight my emptiness
There's no where you can hide from me,
For I am, always will be, your darkness.

You were standing there in the midst of a nightmare
Your every breath was cold and gone
I was there waiting on the edge of unknown
A rose in one hand and I was feeling so alone

You were just waiting for me to let go
waiting for that moment to come
When you can leave it all behind and go
When you can finally forget what we've become

You just wanted me to forget what we had
Every word that was a lie and so true
You were just standing there in the stars
Behind the shine I couldn't see through

Can you still find home
After all we've been through
Can you still be mine
After all I've done
Can you still be with  me
After all we've been through
Or are you still looking for
Waiting for me to come


You were there when no one else was
How can I leave when I have no where to go
Every road leads to you
the seed we sowed will never cease to grow

All we wanted was to live forever
But the world wanted us to be separate
All we wanted was to love forever
But every word we speak now  is of hate

You were just standing there catching every tear you dropped
And I never returned in time
You were just waiting for me to come back , you hoped
And I was just standing there so lost and blind


Can you find home
Now that you're lost
Will you be gone
When I open my eyes
Are you alone
Now that you're lost
Will you be here
When I open my eyes


Can you still feel me now ,
Now that we're so far
Can you still find me once again
Before we get undone and fall apart


Now the tears have dried in the years we have lived
I was never the one to make you smile
It all comes back to us , everything we give
I was never the one to tell you that you're mine

Your arms ache to hold me once again
But I'm too lost inside me to see you still standing there
Your voice is too frail , will you reach for me again
I'm walking to you but I'm getting nowhere




Will you be gone
If I never come for you
Or will you stand there
Waiting for me
Will you be cold
If I never find you
Or will you be here
Waiting for me


Can you find home
Now that you're lost
Will you be gone
When I open my eyes
Are you alone
Now that you're lost
Will you be here
When I open my eyes

a dark cold sea
spanned the horizon
eyes could see
mountains in the distance
white peaks by the blue
upon a blanket so green
sailing through a nightmare
tearing through the seams
into the dreams
and beyond
far from this place
to another age
in search of morrow
more than eyes can crave
the slave in the cage
can only peer
through a window

the old king saw him young
and now he saw no child
what he bore with all his love
gave him a fruit rotten and wild
in songs of him, in lores of them
he heard not a sound
and now when he could see more clear,
He saw only the dark all around.

and where is my crown, the old king asked-
Should I bow my head so low ?
You stand there with one mocking smile,
What truth I don't know ?
in a sky so blue, in a sky so dark
we stand strong behind our walls
and if you dare to bleed my love
You'll taste the sharp of my claws.
not on my head, not on my throne
but them eyes know no lies
and in here with all that is mine
you dare to look in my eyes ?







and so he whispered and so he spoke,
of the gods young and old-
the little man with red in his eyes-
and the words so cold

and so he screamed and so he spoke
of the lores young and old
the little man with red in his eyes-
and a sorrow to behold.

so the king won't see the stars those change,
in the glow of his throne ?
them colours do change, oh my lord
but every moment a new morrow is born
what is mine and what is yours
that is not for us to weep
and when you're gone, oh my king
what you leave will be mine to keep
beyond the pines I see what we can claim,
Is that not how the world goes by ?
In the stones when they engrave our names,
they would sing not about the moment we died.





If you seek the glory you abide, hear-
the gods won't hear your call
so what if you have age by your side,
you haven't seen the scattered dolls
and where is your kingdom ?
to rule them all,
is that how you will cause them stars to fall ?
you are mine and i am your king
you know nothing what lies beyond those walls
In a sky so blue, in a sky so dark
the stars have a place to hide
and what will you do when you have them claws-
Open your heart far and wide ?






and so he cursed and so he wrote
every tear down on a page
and so he purged and so he wrote
Every scar from the rage

and so he cursed and so he wrote
every drop on the page
and so he purged and so he wrote
behind the curtains of the stage





I will find my own fate, said the little man
my father knows nothing of the ills I've seen
we're mocked all about from beyond the walls
I've always wanted what we must have once been
In the name of the gods I must seek the justice
my blood will seep in the ground and mark my claim
I will uproot the graves and make the dead speak
for they knows about the people beyond the walls, small and strange

Hidden and depraved
They lurk in the dark alleys
Of a forgotten world
In a nightmares valley
In the devils belly
A place to call home
Invisible ghosts
Now and forever alone

Living on morsels
That life throws at them
In those grey cold walls
With a melody they blend
Every brick whispers
A scar in their tale
Hung on their chests
With a crooked nail

Breathing the smoke
Pure with grief
Seeps deep down
Where no one can reach
Learning lessons
That no sorrow can teach
Tears have dried
With blood they weep

Living in oblivion
With tracks outgrown
Road is lost
In miles they've known
Eyes don't seek the sky
For its too far
Searches dreams
In own heart

Aroma of the burning rubber
Fills the morning blues
Every marrow
There's a fear induced
Of what lies ahead
In this winter gloom
Searching for day
Children of the moon

Can you see them ?


_________



Hidden and depraved
They lurk in the dark alleys
Of a forgotten world
In a nightmares valley
In the devils belly
A place to call home
Invisible ghosts
Now and forever alone

Living on morsels
That life throws at them
In those grey cold walls
With a melody they blend
Every brick whispers
A scar in their tale
Hung on their chests
With a crooked nail

Breathing the smoke
Pure with grief
Seeps deep down
Where no one can reach
Learning lessons
That no sorrow can teach
Tears have dried
With blood they weep

Living in oblivion
With tracks outgrown
Road is lost
In miles they've known
Eyes don't seek the sky
For its too far
Searches dreams
In own heart

Covered in shadows
They have no past
Carved with sorrow
They won't last
Be gone in night
Just as they come
No mirrors to show them
What they've become

Only eyes and bones
That's all they are
Eyes for the misery
Playing their part
And bones to be broken
With every stone they pick
So scared now ,
They don't fear the stick


Aroma of the burning rubber
Fills the morning blues
Every marrow
There's a fear induced
Of what lies ahead
In this winter gloom
Searching for day
Children of the moon

Even the air breaks down to sing
As a noise cracks open his skin
No escape even though bell rings
He's trapped with me within
There's a smile on my face,
As he struggles to breath
Maybe today is my day
He won't yell at me to leave
Enlight me with your words,
Poke me where it will hurt
Tell me I am so insane
Look in my eyes, i'm so deranged
I brought my friend along
I caress and it breaks in a song
This class is 'gonna be so long
Now it's your turn to be wrong
All my rage I brought for you
In Every hour that you wasted
My grades were never so high
In every question I ever tasted  




I climb on he pulls the ladder
There's evil in this weather
Every problem has a solution
In equations of blood splatter

Every answer will now be better
Never Mind that evil proffesor
Every derivation has an outcome
On the strings of blood splatter




I will replace ink with blood
And smear it all across this page
Write a hundred times 'i'm so bad'
And all across your ****** face
Tell me to stand up, I dare
Pick me to be your little *****
Make me understand why I care
I learned with precison to slit
Your hands inside my pants
My hands on your throat
No fun for you today
Today you'll take my load
Tell me i'm ****** one more time,
And I swear it won't be neat
It won't be neat anyhow (haha)
But you sure don't want to repeat
Wherever this lesson may lead
My Mind will now be freed  
From your books and grip
I'm no more just a bad seed




I climb on he pulls the ladder
There's evil in this weather
Every problem has a solution
In equations of blood splatter

Every answer will now be better
Never Mind that evil proffesor
Every derivation has an outcome
On the strings of blood splatter




This is beginning to feel like,
It's 'gonna run for-ever
A never ending lecture
With me and my gun together
And i'm 'gonna stab everyone now
So much for being the loner
Them cheerleaders and jocks
Even the **** addicts and stoners
Lesson of life from the dead
Final chapter of their semester
Now's the time, i'm 'gonna start
Pay attention to the professor
I'm 'gonna show you how to die
And everyone will score an 'A'
Be on your knees, there's no god
I'll **** the ones first who pray
It's so much more fun than maths
Don't you agree my dead friends
No more science and history  
For you'll be history in the end





I climb on he pulls the ladder
There's evil in this weather
Every problem has a solution
In equations of blood splatter

Every answer will now be better
Never Mind that evil proffesor
Every derivation has an outcome
On the strings of blood splatter



as I pull the sweet trigger,
vibrations through my veins
kiss my pretty *******
I remember every name
A nice way to let it all out
As they scream and shout
I'm 'gonna be on news momma
And you'll tell them all about,
How you never knew who I am,
Who I was, no more a man
A rock and black metal fan
A ****** no one could understand
For every ghost who feels weak
I'll show them who we really are
As another town falls asleep
I'll wake up in someones heart
I'll be on the front page,
I'll be the talk of every town
A curse kept in the closet
That every few years come around




I climb on he pulls the ladder
There's evil in this weather
Every problem has a solution
In equations of blood splatter

Every answer will now be better
Never Mind that evil proffesor
Every derivation has an outcome
On the strings of blood splatter

What do we seek in truth,
When lies can do a better job
How pretty are illusions,
From the eyes of a corpse
Monsters hiding in disguise
camouflaged in words
What if we change the spin
Will it run in an opposite world
Changing the lanes by name
Won't the journey end the same
And if we close eyes to dreams
Will it stop the colours to change
every answer is another question
What's there left to ask
If i eyes can glow in the dark
What's the need to wear a mask
It takes a lifetime to understand
What regret can do to a grave
Why don't we wipe away years
In tears cleansing words on a slate
This hand will forever rest
On the other side of our wall
But a tear will always find a way
Come back to us to ruin us all
More memories then we can keep
Lay dead upon wings of time
Won't know where this may lead
If one can't read the hidden signs
Not every door will have a key
Some only open to one face
If the clouds don't let them be
Every star in the sky will fade
When the ocean did break
Old fossils all they could see
And a tide so was made
Quickly turning over in a sea
No more riddles hidden in pieces
Slowly becoming someone else
Sometimes one find it reaches
A place it can make a snowman melt
One day sunshine will kiss farewell
To land where we thought we are
you will find that it always dwelled
In the shadows of a billion stars

Larry says,
That there is no god
Larry is a cool guy
But I think he should give it a little thought,
I don't have a clue about god either
But does that matter ?
I think it does not
I think its about life and death
Larry won't care about the dead
but he's cool
sometimes Larry walks across the street without even turning his head
I mean traffic moves at neck break speeds, there's bound to be a death
sooner or later
but Larry is a badass or so he wants to portray
personally, I don't like crossing roads, **** scares me to death
I use that word a lot for some reason, death
I fear it, I can't seem to take it out of my head
nights and nights spent dreaming about what I'll leave in this world
I won't live forever, I admit
That hurts
but I don't want to be a cinical  man anymore
I don't think I ever wanted that in the first place
but life is weird, things just happen most of the time
and once in a while you come across a mirror and see your face
and scream oh lord, what a pathetic loser and turn your face
it's the ultimate disgrace
but that's not larry
he is too smart for that
we wear masks to hide ourselves
he wears one to free himself
same tools, different meaning
opposite stories but the same ending
almost poetic in nature
Larry was a poet too
a decent one at that
and he reminded me so much about the things I could've had
if only i wasn't dreaming so much
but sleep is so beautiful
how beautiful must be death
if there's a place I want to die
I want it to be in my bed
but Larry would rather
ride a missile to the school
I think that's.........okay
if its a Sunday and nobody is at school, otherwise not cool
But Larry is cool if you can look past that thing that has a chance of happening more remotely then him becoming a super saiyan,
What I am sayin' is
That there is no denying that Larry is at least has an imagination
he loves fantasy and talks in weird languages that honestly looks like he's having a seizure
He does it for leisure
what a geek, right ?
But geeks are cool now, aren't they ?
I mean, rock is dead
that's a blow
people play sports on a couch
okay
wars are boring
big nations attack a smaller nation that then attacks the bigger nation back until the smaller nation is destroyed by a host of other countries that were sold weapons by the big nation that started it, or you know.. they fail
But whatever, there's much good left in this world though the television and the media will have you believe otherwise
Though what is good does not always mean that it is not stupid as ****
It'll make you sick
But it's not harming anyone
only the people who watch it
it clicks
that's all there it is to that
Larry doesn't watch telly no more
he's beyond all that
He watches them when he wants
where he wants, how he wants
the thought haunts me often
That someone somewhere has a faster internet connection
I mean internet is like a thing now, I mean there has already been an inspection
of how awesome this new world is,
It's people and cultures
Free of boundaries and limits
Achieving the impossible everyday
A thing so huge
Even we can't comprehend it
and we made that **** up
( for the already dumb one )
and when I say we,
I mean we as collective species
and not as me and other individuals
but clearly, it's massive
where there's not only okay to be a thief but completely acceptable
I mean that's a spectacle
a mockery of laws of the land that you understand as an adult that thou won't steal from the other man
And they rebel against any management whatsoever
And that's how its supposed to be
So we're fine... I guess
Unless the skynet ?
Larry told me
skynet is already here
Waiting in our computers
Watching us and hearing us
All the ******* time
That means
Someone or something knows about everything of mine
that's just so ******' embarrassing and awkward and scary
But embarrassing and scary.... And it makes one feel ***** about oneself, maybe that's what's the problem is
We no longer get to be ourselves
think about it
When was the last time you said something or wrote something without thinking about it
you can be honest about it but you'll still lie to yourself, you still doubt it
if you really are what you see in the mirror, in the photos
Or through what they say about you
yet world has the many
And you have the few
Larry says he has more friends than he can accept
I find that statement strange at times but I haven't been able to inquire about it
but that's okay, Larry is a cool guy
he does his own business and still wears a tie
I mean, how often do you wear a tie when you don't have to
I think most humans are lazy and that'll be the last thing we'll do
Wear ties while deciding what to buy and what to sell
what to make and what to feed the hell with, oh hell
But they give birth as they gift death
I've seen some videos, I've seen some heads
nuclear families hiding in depths of the dark
destroying the fourth somebody many times apart
But that's just a theory
Less likely then R+L= j
I wish that would happen but if something else happens I would still be glad to have seen the end
I don't want to be lost this time, that would really **** my friend
Larry wouldn't watch the show
Because he thinks its not cool no more
When things like these happen, you know-
Those little small things that you observe sometimes
That reminds you that you are glad to be yourself rather than being another at least one human you know,
Mostly the ones you hate, given they hate you or maybe they don't
It doesn't matter
Or maybe the ones purely evil
Coming to evil
Larry says that every man has good and bad in them
And I've heard that from everybody
But it's something that is harder to teach than learn
You're own on your own, in the middle
While a pack of wolfs bark all around you
Nobody gives a **** anymore
For one thing
This world we have made
I've always wondered,
Is it not a world of distraction
rather than a world of progress
I guess every one is a Larry
Who only ever thinks about himself
But pretends to be kind in person
That doesn't matter
Because what is, it is
I remember a story I once told Larry when I was at an altitude and had a head-ache and could barely sit up or breath up,
That was a real **** up
And I told him, what if a child who never learns that Santa is not real and never assumes anything, grows old and die, never knowing that Santa has never been,
Would it matter
Now that the man shall never be,
With all he has ever seen
Wouldn't it be a lovely dream
To be in a world
Where there's more than death

even without god ?

Douse me in your flavour
Pour on me your colours
Burn me inside and out,  
Watch me as I suffer

Quell my thirst by yours
Fill me with all you desire
Hold me, tell me I'm beautiful
And then push me in the fire

Scar me with all your love
Your love, that keeps me alive
Eat me from inside out
go ahead, I'm all yours take a bite



Confuse me, you're all I have  
So much in love, i'm all yours
Consume me, take all I have
Feed on me if it makes you whole



Piece by piece, i'll fade
I'll be yours sweet escape
Of the love world forbade
Your love is worth my wait

Take me in, deep within
Where light won't reach
Take away my wings
So I can never leave

Forever yours, I promise
Waste me with all your love
Hidden away from myself
Keep me blind from my curse



Consume me, take all I have
Feed on me if it makes you whole
Control me, you're all I have  
So much in love, i'm all yours

you caress me through those seductive eyes,
stare at me as if I'll disappear in a moment;
what the clock may speak, arms wouldn't lie;
you always knew how to lock me within a moment
now I am stuck here with you
here without you, can you not hear my scream;
I've been love struck and stabbed by the cupid too,
I **** you away in my every dream.
and yet, you bring the summer alive,
not withstanding the winters creed;
how lonely you must have been,
to seek my sorrow,
together we can breed


monsters and demons,
angels and scars,
there's a road that leads to your soul,
you will eat me whole before the journey would last.
here take my hand;
take my hand and skin my eyes,
there is no need to **** and lie;
here take my hand;
take my hand and let me die.


wither into pieces,
for them to collect what was yours and mine,
wrap yourself up in a disease,
make me sick in the deep of my mind;
where sanity chokes on the ashes,
ashes those feed the fire;
how you make me feel;
so blessed, to have known the evil of my desires.


be gone before they find you,
in my arms, and without a head
bring me back to life so you can play with me again,
only to leave me more coarse and dead.

so, my cold breath,
caught you by suprise
did my love for you-
caused your love to die

so, my hurt,
was too painful to hide
but was it enough for you-
to make you say good-bye

watching your every step,
I know you're still not satisfied.
the voices in my head
tell me you can't see me alive.

pretending you don't care
if we never meet again
I would still want you my dear
Nevertheless my pain

I would love you till I die
And haunt you ever the same
Someday those tears will dry
in a smile for a name

I will be there in the blue skies
and I will be there in the rain
you'll see how fast the time flies
but how something's never change






my love for you will never die
nor will the memories fade
I've prayed for you enough times
Sometimes by my blade

I've taken every vows of ours
even the ones you forbade
you've given me enough scars
more than I could ever take

you are mine and that's a promise
I've kept a count of all my tears
It doesn't matter where you run
you'll always find me close and near

either we sail for the blue seas
and the skies blue and clear
or we drown together in red
my love, you've nothing to fear









my love, i long for an embrace
for seasons to change and be old
you belong to me, please stay
or it won't take long to be cold

my love, you'll have nothing to fear
if you do as you are to be told
I will love you more than I can bear
or more scars you can hold







I can't stop you from leaving
but I'll never stop loving you
I would be there, everywhere
in everything you'll ever do







my love for you will never die
even if I did

I look straight in your eyes
my love, you won't see it




you were the one I wanted to die with
Now, I am but a corpse in love.

this life it *****, it rusts in dust
it lusts for the thirst of your blood
flowers in dirt and dies in dusk
count your scars in tears plucked
wearing a mask of mothers guilt
in the same home, a father once built
by the same hands that devoured love
of a few names that a box once filled
smothered by the memories tamed
unspoken words burning the remains
from all those dreams that were killed
none shall see the face smile again
standing so still against the wall
almost dead if not for your shadow
there is no room for you here at all
them lies are all buried in the meadows
whispering in the winds now again
how hollow is the lonely song
the piper keeps piling the corpses
only for more to come back along.

It's been a while and I haven't slept
I'm too cold now and I haven't wept
The numbness gave way to madness
And now I'm feeling fine
Now I smile once in a day Isn't it a good sign
But the urge to take a hit makes me weak and dissipated
It never let go of me even though I truly waited
And I'm slowly walking towards the edge of my story
Ready to fly for a while before I take a fall
Life is scattered In a nightmare
But I don't have the strength to burn it all
And I'm slowly losing sanity
Yesterday I saw a cow fly
It hissed at me like a snake
It hurts that it didn't even say goodbye
Before it took off for the meadows
Where I hope it gets beaten by the troll and dies
Enough of my sweet dreams
I'm not delusioned enough to believe 'em to be real
But I'm getting cold and old now
There is just no way that I can heal
And I fade away like the dinosaurs
But not as cool 'cause there's no super-volcano or a meteorite
And cobain told me I should burn away
Something about burning and showing them light
It's better to burn than to fade away
He wrote on his suicide note
Gun-shot or a nuclear holocaust
I seriously need some votes
I can't make my mind about how this stupidity might end
And to go out as decently as I can
Those religious folks I don't Want to offend
Or they'll waste everyone's time preaching about a god thats just too bored to even care
If he's there somewhere maybe of earths existence he's not even Aware
We're so tiny, I wonder if he can even see ourselves
Tell 'em apple guys to gift him an iPhone , so he can google himself
And see for himself that '****' is more googled than him
That he has lost his crown
All of the religious folks reading This ****
Please , don't frown
But still, in-spite of my pleas if you still want to
Fine , go ahead
Just letting you all know I'm 'gonna sin again
There's a ******* my bed
and I think you can make it out where it'll lead
I know I know , I'm going to hell and I'm never 'gonna be freed
But who cares
its not like they're 'gonna give em girls to me in heaven
There's no point to refuse now
And On the other hand someone said we can do whatever we Want to
Than hey , why is this **** even going down ?
I told you I'm deranged but you didn't believe
It was nice letting it all out and now I can sleep

there is a friend
in silence

in serried coffers
of heavy air

carving pieces
of you to feed the
lullabies

stifling the last
of convulsions

leaving the rest
to fall asleep

in arms of the
white noise

Quiteness of the night engulfs everything in its shadows
A pale refelection of the stars haunt the sky line
If you look close you can see a touch of  marrow
And can hear the whispers of darkness thats dying
Fading away every glorious moment and tear
As it bleeds for the yesterdays mistakes
Giving all to keep the serene silence near
No arms and legs to embrace but it waits
Powerful yet bleak with the strength of infinite men
it rules for its part before tasting the oblivion
Just around the corner of the world it bends
Than goes on forever with its radiance
To some it is the absence of light ,
Conquered by the might of the giant ball of helium
But to the nightly creatures and world
Its the onset of remarkable  beauty  and days oblivion.

Lets forget yesterday
Love-
Love, I'm here to stay
Forever
Maybe, I've forgotten
The rotten
Corpse I was
So Lost
But now I have you
And love-
My love, I'm scared too.

I've never been more sure
About anything
So cold
The winter still stings
And I sing the lore
Of me and yours
And I know
That without you
I'll be never sure
If I am still alive.


So much left to say
All the voices
Stay
Singing in my head
Our choices
Sorrow and regret
Beating in my chest
All the lies you have wept
Will fade
In the vows I have kept
And be made
In tears you have shed
Because
Without you
I am a corpse, I am undead.

Dim lights now remind
Of a space
I once was locked in
I now find
Another face to be
In the mirror
I saw him
Struggling to breathe
A hideous being I found
I turned to see
But there was no one
Only me around
I heard the sound
Of the law that bounds
A heart to the grave.


Prophecies I could never see
In a tomorrow that could
Never be
A tear drop in the sea
Invisible
But free
Invincible
But without she
Longing
Of a belonging
To the same embrace
And I saw it fade
I saw your face
Burning in the fire.

Ashes lust of freedom
To dance in the air
Make merry in December
Mourning everywhere
There
And then
I saw you standing
Tears melting
In the rain
Black shadows
Walking
And talking
I can see your pain
And I see my name
Kneeling by your feet.

dead men don't sing to the world
no one can hear them against the winds
Their is the land of ash and dust
nobody is awake at the gates to take them in

dead people don't knock on no doors
they don't have our walls to keep them from being freed
it is not true what they say in old lores
they have no souls so that their heart could bleed

silence is not peace, I know you have never wondered
'tis but a disease, old and rotten not breathing anymore

there are places where when one shall go will always wander
even the deceased, who once had ones worth living for

upon the night darkness weaves an hideous potrait
showing a face and keeping stars from fading away
all who are lost can be more than just be in a cage
you wouldn't know how many dead men you've seen today,


take a look in the mirror.

Things fall in place,
Out of star-dust-
A life takes a face.
In the sudden morn',
A new tale is made;
Past wouldn't be forgotten-
But yet it fades.

It builds from the roots,
Into the branches-
those span the horizon;
weather begins to change,
Seasons bring the age-
And thus begins the erosion.

Though yet it does grows,
Now more than ever.
Ushering into a beautiful flower-
In that moment forever;
For the time never withers,
It stays such-
Always together.

Embracing what there is,
Tested by the years-
In a hurry to depart.
An ocean of every wish,
Of smile and tears-
To be contained in a heart.

Touching what is around,
Sometimes in silence-
But every move makes a sound.
Flying ever so high-
Knowingly,
That one day all must come down
And be spent,
To the ruins it was always bound.

Rusting every winter,
With a hope of a new spring.
To lay claim as own-
Of everything let in.
Changing with every breath,
Only to shed the same skin;
A voice that will be lost-
But never afraid to sing.

The lies won't hide the truth,
Or make the last step-
Disappear.
For as far as you look,
One can see the signs-
Of what was once here.

Though the heart beats,
And the memories still speak-
No matter how much it weeps;
You have to leave.
No matter what you'll keep,
Bury it somewhere deep-
The dark will seep;
And the tale will be freed.

Things will again fall in place,
Journey never forgets a face-
For time always move along.
With all our right and wrong,
No matter how short or long;
Somewhere at the end-
We'll have to finish the song.
At end of the maze,
When done with the chase-
I know I'll be too tired to go on.

Looking in the mirror this is what I see , a bird in a cage yearning to be free
I see me , not the way i'm supposed to be and she , just walking away from me
Can we , just take a time out , I hate to be the part of this controversy
Previously , when you walked out , I was sure that this was my reality
Consciously , i'm not even thinking about all the things horrendously
I just want to be real for once really , get out of this ******* story
Burn every page of this diary and harm myself harmlessly
And i watch your mom shamelessly , and i **** that ***** faithlessly
Am i being too intense , is it all said so ruthlessly,
My brain is old , and i walk around naked carelessly
I know i can still do it , so i pick the sharpness carefully
Cut myself and see if I can bleed , kick myself in the you-know-where to see if I can still feel
And seal the deal , not let the wounds heal
Let them be infected by anger and rage , pick up a blade and ****** a sage
Go on a stage , act strange , look changed , let the world know come what may , this soldier wont faint
And paint my scars blue , give 'em ******* the ******* salute
Down with the flu , all I want to say to you ..

I'm deranged again ,in your name
Oh what a shame , i miss the pain
Deranged again , will you shoot me please
Oh i want a release , i feel so strange
Insane again , I'm deranged again


Lady, stop it and start it , can I touch your lump
Lately ,watch it dont stretch it and get numb
Take that pole  get out of control and jump
I'm real *****  but i'm not sorry can I ****
And stump get down on the drums maybe hum
Get you some *** , and we can drink it and lick it and run
Far away from all the nonsensical talks of love and guns
'gonna shoot me , wanna hurt me ,say the word and its done
I'll put a bullet in your head and you can shoot your fathers ***
I'm not dumb, but you're dads goin' crazy
Hey lazy , can I get you some jay-z , so you can Rap like a ******* daily
And disturb the neighbour , shes in labour , giving birth to another neighbour
Soon there'll be an army of ******* , doesn't help the fact you have no soul
Oh , you're so cold , that's why she left you alone ,
Isn't it you ******* ******* ,you want some more
But you'll never break down that door , and get to that naked *****
Who'll whisper in your ears , while she holds and unfolds the pole
So this is for you , you ******* neighborhood ******* ,
So come near , so you can hear , is that your wife, listen close
She's getting her daily dose , in every corner , every position , with all the pose
Friend is the neighbour and neighbours wife a ***
And can she blow, take it slow , now i have to get down and show
This what ya'll must know..


I'm deranged again ,in your name
Oh what a shame , i miss the pain
Deranged again , will you shoot me please
Oh i want a release , i feel so strange
Deranged again , I'm deranged again

The familiarity sets in--
And sense's begin to howl
fear is born with-in,
Climate smell's so foul.

Noise begins to whisper,
Something sour in your mouth
And as when the bells chime,
You have no clue what's it about.

Heart-beat grows to a shiver,
despair begins to shout
In-midst of this ensuing sentence,
Ill thoughts start to sprout.

Hand's tremble in illusion,
The vision break's apart--
In a melody of confusion,
Envision of age old-scars.

Thy sweat pours a storm,
A turmoil to touch deep
Time strikes a marking--
Still eye's won't weep.

Finger's feel the skin--
Where comfort won't reach
Shadow cast's an hour,
Which somehow won't leave.

Dust begin to settle--
And the curtains are raised
Spewing numb on every word,
Across every page.

Moment begin to scatter,
In a place light forsake
Silence begin's to creep in--
From where dark was made.

Gloom becomes heavy--
Engulfs everything in haze
Conscience finds a noose,
And makes itself a cage.

Hurt infects every corner,
Balm as pure as dew
All steps lead to temptations--
And they pay their due's.

A puzzle fall in pieces,
Raising a few wall's
Have no clue what it means--
Or where the ghost walks.

My heart in condition,
With precision to be lost--
Heeding no indication,
One key locked inside a box.

Unfurling me a new season--
From seed's that were sowed
Made me some shade,
That always keep me so cold.

Them claws dig in my flesh--
And collect from me my soul
Mesmerised in my winter,
Bathe in asphalt and coal.

Window cease to exist,
Them walls harbor no doors
Mirror paints a stranger--
You are not what you were anymore.

Despair grows a sky,
Pour's me down a sea
Shelter won't stop--
What there is meant to be.

Dead weight drags me down,
Those arms I can't see--
Pills and the powder,
Won't set me free.

My tears bleed blood,
On my heart this loneliness feeds--
From this descent in madness,
No man can be freed.

Entangle self in chains,
When in misery one is bound
When a-top the mighty mountain--
The peak falls down.

A frown turns in dread,
In debt of all that's around
As where the dark is kept--
No man has ever been found.

The familiarity sets in--
And sense's begin to howl
fear is born with-in,
Climate smell's so foul.

Noise begins to whisper,
Something sour in your mouth
And as when the bells chime,
You have no clue what's it about.

Heart-beat grows to a shiver,
despair begins to shout
In-midst of this ensuing sentence,
Ill thoughts start to sprout.

Hand's tremble in illusion,
The vision break's apart--
In a melody of confusion,
Envision of age old-scars.

Thy sweat pours a storm,
A turmoil to touch deep
Time strikes a marking--
Still eye's won't weep.

Finger's feel the skin--
Where comfort won't reach
Shadow cast's an hour,
Which somehow won't leave.

Dust begin to settle--
And the curtains are raised
Spewing numb on every word,
Across every page.

Moment begin to scatter,
In a place light forsake
Silence begin's to creep in--
From where dark was made.

Gloom becomes heavy--
Engulfs everything in haze
Conscience finds a noose,
And makes itself a cage.

Hurt infects every corner,
Balm as pure as dew
All steps lead to temptations--
And they pay their due's.

A puzzle fall in pieces,
Raising a few wall's
Have no clue what it means--
Or where the ghost walks.

My heart in condition,
With precision to be lost--
Heeding no indication,
One key locked inside a box.

Unfurling me a new season--
From seed's that were sowed
Made me some shade,
That always keep me so cold.

Them claws dig in my flesh--
And collect from me my soul
Mesmerised in my winter,
Bathe in asphalt and coal.

Window cease to exist,
Them walls harbor no doors
Mirror paints a stranger--
You are not what you were anymore.

Despair grows a sky,
Pour's me down a sea
Shelter won't stop--
What there is meant to be.

Dead weight drags me down,
Those arms I can't see--
Pills and the powder,
Won't set me free.

My tears bleed blood,
On my heart this loneliness feeds--
From this descent in madness,
No man can be freed.

Entangle self in chains,
When in misery one is bound
When a-top the mighty mountain--
The peak falls down.

A frown turns in dread,
In debt of all that's around
As where the dark is kept--
No man has ever been found.

Conquer, these souls you so want to torture
Give me my pills and watch me turn into a monster
Come here gran, where you off to?; I want to torch her
And all you gentlemen, just jerking off, do you concur ?
I would have smacked your *** off the table if it was a contest
So go ahead, take your time, demonstrate a protest
And there is no time to explain, hell, i'm in pain
Take a name and I would really want her
Yeah, it's bad, blowin' a pipe, i'm goin' mad
Running around naked with a pound of ******* in my bag-pack
It's real sad, if you think about it
I'm trying to hammer a nail in my ******' head
But I can't find no way around it
Wrap around it, act astounded, it's funny how you responded
When I told you it was your momma, last night I pounded
And you're two ****** short, man I counted
Why you bring me an asian all the time ?
When I specially told you it was a blonde one I wanted
And there's no way i'm 'gonna stop once you've mounted
And it's not my fault you leave every girl so disappointed
*** is spooky ****, I swear that **** is so haunted
And you made me cry, the way you just taunted
I'll just ignore you 'cause I know you were born bad-mouthed
If you think you can convert me, I seriously doubt it
Enough done, enough said, you **** man and I don't want to hear about it





Oh, don't you mess with me boy
I can bet you it's something you won't enjoy
I'll drown your screams with my noise
And when I leave, i'll leave you destroyed  
Your silly tactics; with me you can't employ
It's your own fault if I leave you paranoid
A stand-off with me is something you should avoid
For when i'm done with you, you'll be destroyed




You twerk even worse than the goddess miley
Now shake that *** for me ***** and scream loudly
Show me you ain't dead and take a swing at me wildly
As I give you a dose of my karate chops; mildly
And show the world how you lost your front teeth proudly
Hush, now little girl, daddy's 'gonna sing you a lullaby finally
I know you got some daddy issues, here take some tissues
The ones I came in just a while ago
Baby, you've got some great ****, is there where you keep all your ego ?
Take it slow, it's a no show, how 'bout you and me do some blow ?
And watch these half assed punks as they come and go
And daddy can tell, you still havn't learned to spell
Was it the thirteenth floor from where you fell
Head-first to the ground and was that when they found,
That you are a ****** and life is no video game you can just re-start
And it makes me sick, when they call your boring rhymes an art
You lack imagination and that's why it never felt so hard
But step in my shoes, ******* blues and they'll shred you in a thousand pieces apart
But for all it's worth, i'll always be the first to smear myself in dirt  
And how are those tears forming in your eyes, do they hurt ?
But I forgive you, 'cause that's what a bigger man always does
And offcourse I am talking about my ****, you ****!

Wore your old shoes
A walk to where you are    
on different road

got your old blues
an ocean in my heart
a different boat  

the same window
looking at the stars
a different view

In same clothes  
mirror on the wall
a different you

Taste of your words
Written on the same page
a different tale

Made of hurt
Trapped in the same cage
a different place

wo din bhi kya the
jab neend hume sulati thi
sapno ki ek duniya
hume kahin dur le jati thi
wahin pe ab dafan hai
beete dino ki pehchan
mere har kal mai
aur meri har saans
beete dino ki wo duniya
guzre zamane ke wo pal
kahin gum hain wo garmiyan
ab to bus suna hai ye kal
gumshuda hain wo chehre
jinhone hume jeena sikhaya
rakh ** chale wo chehre
jinhe mitna ras aya
me bhi ek chehra ***
anginat ankhon me se ek
is samandar me mera bhi
wo haq hai
chahe lakhon me ek
par wo bolten hain
me to *** hi ek *****
ki ek tuta dil
fir nahi dhadakta hai
wo puchten nahi
in bhari mehfil
is tute dil me-
akhir kya rakha hai

A white dress stained in red
Mute eyes waiting for death
Monsters lurking in the dark
Making their way to her head
She weeps in joy
All her life destroyed
Staring into an abyss
A smile that's too coy
And with tears she writes on stones
Every step is so alone
Cries of solitude
Her every broken bone
Her fate , did she deserve
A question to ponder till eternity
Her memories preserved
She can only whisper their banality
An act of hate
Bestowed upon from the clouds
Never to be seen
No one to scream on and shout
And tell her about
What she did to deserve her fate
She loved with all her heart
Than why did they hate
She's loosing sanity
Her wounds runs deep now
She's falling abruptly
Nothing to break her fall now
She's falling down
In herself , in Tomorrow
She cries for help
'save me from marrow '
On a tree , forgotten
Speaks the dead sparrow
A Cupid lies on the ground
His heart impaled by an arrow
And she searches for love
And now there is nothing
but hate in her heart
Anger in her eyes
Pain behind her smile
every moment reminds
Her wish to **** that god
Who brought the hell down on her
And made the icicles fall
That impaled her to the ruins
In from of the blue moon
A witness to it all
But mute with fear of the night
His only friend
Scared of the bright
A story he can't end
And she walks to sunrise
In a hope to seek revenge
Her every tear and scar
To be avenged
Doused in anger
Now she's all drenched
Becoming a stranger
Her thirst will be Quenched
She'll feed on 'em gods
Every one of 'em who ignored her plight
On her way to revenge
she'll dine with the devil Tonight

i wouldn't know where to begin, or how to end,
all I have are words, of pain and love to seed.
i am my own master, slave, enemy and friend,
in my hurt, I have more tears than I can bleed.
would you be my friend ?
so I can cry
because I've been withering for a long time
there've been so many lies
and I have forgotten which were mine
there's nothing in coming morrow
yesterdays make my heart sick
and when I do try to remember
i don't have any memory to begin with
everything fades as it is born
burning into ashes
as black as my heart
full of scars
and walls
slowly falling apart
I'm rotting
I am rotten
who the **** am I ?
have I really forgotten?
can someone find me someday
or have I gone too far
i watch the sand in the glass
grain by grain
and hour by hour
waiting for the day to end
so I can be lost
beneath the stars
and not even my shadow
can find me
in this hollow
i can't even see me
all I feel are the tears
and before dawn
they'll too disappear

__________


Look at me and fill the gap, ever wondered, if these empty spaces are just a trap?

If I was you, I won't ever come back, what have I, in these silenced moments which you lack ?  

If you ever tried, why not just kiss it good-bye, is life not enough to make you want to die?

Escape them lies, if you know how to fly, do you think you'll find any wings in the night sky?  



Let my heart rip, ain't no where I'll ever fit
Lit, with fire on the bed of wax where I sit
Won't get rid, of who I am, even though you want it
Leave me be and i'll leave you Disappointed



Take my pain and change my name, look in the mirror, is everything still the same ?

I wait in shame, come again, smear me in your scent, don't you want me to take your blame?

I knew you would ask, if I wear a mask,  what of solitude, if the disguise won't last ?

Look past, what you want me to be, what you see, will it be enough if i break your heart ?


Do you ever feel confused,  when I refuse,
To be made in hurt, when you abuse
Of the lonely nights, when i make love to you
i know what i need, bleed the tears you so wanted
Leave me be, and I'll leave you disappointed


Where these scars lead, a place where i can never be, and if you can see beyond, do you find me ?

I don't want you to leave, but i want you be freed, if i break these promises, will you breathe ?

I know what i was made, an image you couldn't take, will you collect all the pieces when i break ?

Will you wait, i won't come and you'll be late, is that all there is to us, disappointment at every gate ?


I will always be here, trapped in these walls where i dreamt it,
A life with you, without you, these dreams, i don't want it
But all i am, reflection of your man, i am not who i was, understand
Get away from me, run far away from me, while you can
You won't find me in love, with your hurt i'm haunted
I can't face my demons, made in a ghost, this escape i never wanted
Leave me be, and I'll leave you disappointed

__________
________­


You won't find me in your dreams, if you dream with open eyes,
Make no noise, let it be gone, when every moment dies
Don't hold me back, I'll blind you with nothing but more lies
And even though i try, i know one day I'll leave without saying goodbye
And you'll be alone, forever trapped in your heart of stone
Withering away, as you try to bring every wall down
But i won't be around, i know this is not what you wanted
Will you still dream, if one day you woke up disappointed ?


If nothing else, take my memory and run away, far away from me
And leave me behind, so you can still be with me
And all these scars and wounds that you'll leave behind, will change me
All those lies, in your eyes, every memory of you will strangle me
From now till eternity, till i return, will you wait for me ?
If i leave you with nothing but pain, will you be able to forgive me ?
If this void is too much to bear, will you fear that you won't find me ?
If everything i am, rusts to nothing, will you still want me ?
If one day you're here no more, leave me a sign that you waited
Will you still love me, If all i have, my every breath, every word that escapes, my thoughts that fade, what we ever had and made, if all you ever wanted, my love for you, left you disappointed?

___________

Look at me and fill the gap, ever wondered, if these empty spaces are just a trap?

If I was you, I won't ever come back, what have I, in these silenced moments which you lack ?  

If you ever tried, why not just kiss it good-bye, is life not enough to make you want to die?

Escape them lies, if you know how to fly, do you think you'll find any wings in the night sky?  



Let my heart rip, ain't no where I'll ever fit
Lit, with fire on the bed of wax where I sit
Won't get rid, of who I am, even though you want it
Leave me be and i'll leave you Disappointed



Take my pain and change my name, look in the mirror, is everything still the same ?

I wait in shame, come again, smear me in your scent, don't you want me to take your blame?

I knew you would ask, if I wear a mask,  what of solitude, if the disguise won't last ?

Look past, what you want me to be, what you see, will it be enough if i break your heart ?


Do you ever feel confused,  when I refuse,
To be made in hurt, when you abuse
Of the lonely nights, when i make love to you
i know what i need, bleed the tears you so wanted
Leave me be, and I'll leave you disappointed

Oh this life is bitter
It's bigger than you or me
and you are not me
i am someone else
distance is on the rise
i haven't been myself
it was so long ago
i think I've killed myself
looking in the mirror
hiding in the corner
that's me in the corner
burning your whispers
as they wither
I feel more than I used to
what if I ever need you
and you won't be there
i want you here
so you can haunt me again
be mine, give me a sign
remind me how it felt to be blind
I want to hear my name
one last time
it took me so much to find
what I have lost
that I have lost
more than I
ever will be
and still you won't see
that I am on my knees
waiting to be freed
I don't want to bleed my all
when your tears don't fall
don't you hear me call
screaming, dreaming
fighting air and light
breathing night
can't you hear my heart
going black


only ever count the lies
numbers and figures
in isolation, waiting for no one
finger on the trigger



doing what we never meant to
I see you, I can't be with you again
I can feel your pain, take my name
burn my words if they are strange
for I have no clue about you
no clue what I became, since you came



I think I've killed myself
I want to be wrong
but I have never been strong
so weak
that I couldn't even leave
and stay
as I bled
all the hurt I could bleed
waiting to be freed
from the chains of hell
as far as I know
no on we can tell
sometimes I wonder
if they ever consider
what you put me through
I have never known you
and you never knew me too
it was all in the whispers
now they have withered
weathered the storm
pierced by the shards
echoing in a broken home


































Oh this life is bitter
It's bigger than you or me
and you are not me
i am someone else
distance is on the rise
i haven't been myself
never been more wise
i think I've killed myself