these letters were found years later when a post office was closed down.
the man who by chance saw these letters addressed to each other was shocked upon reading them..
he has been since suspended for breach of privacy... at a closed post office.




dear mister planklot, I would like to concern you with a letter I got from one of my readers,
as I have always seen you as my leader, I want to have a conversion with you and discuss about this rather bizarre case, his letter was divided into five fold of a page,
by his writing he must have been no more than in his teens I'm afraid,
he wrote about a dream he saw at night,
a pale shadow would emerge from the seam of his pocket;
a rather strange scene, he claimed to have seen this over and over every third night.
the shadow tells him a different story each time, about the future and past;
he has an answer for everything that the boy asks,
it lasts till the shadow transforms into someone human;
and each time it summons a hideous creature that has three legs and nine tails,
he always mentions one name without fail;
some nights ago he whispered my name;
he told me no more, I found that a bit strange.
it was rather interesting to read about the stories the shadow told,
but some of them were infectious and cold,
there were a few that made me wither to my bones,
in the pursuit of knowledge we forget sometimes it is better to leave a few things unknown;
even though I thought it was a faux back then,
I was afraid by the things witnessed by this young man;

I threw the letter and later I forgot about him too;
but yesterday night I had the same dream too;
the shadow talked about you, he told me you will die soon;
but not before murdering me accidentally;
now I don't know what to believe in anymore,
but since I've known you for so many years;
I know there is absolutely no possibility of that happening;
we have never met each other; we only communicate via words and no face,
you don't know my place and I have no clue about yours;
I want to discuss this some more but I have to be out of town in an hour and I'm afraid I have not much time left, and even the post office is far.
I will be eagerly waiting for your response, with some wine and cigars.

yours truly
mister clasten





dear clasten, I am in a rush as I write this letter to you;
as I consider you trustworthy, I confide this in you;
I was driving through a street and I saw a strange looking boy standing still,
I don't know what happened to me but I felt a chill;
it ran through my spine and across my soul,
by the time I could grasp, my car had gone off the road;
I am telling you honestly, I saw a shadow emerging from his pocket;
by then it was too late, I ran someone over by the post office.
it has been a few days but seems no one has a clue,
I'm even going to deleiver this letter at the same post office,
to see if I really have to pay my dues;
if I get caught than it is meant to be, but if I am not,
I will consider myself free.
I hope you can understand, it wasn't my fault,
I am leaving the town, good-bye and all.


yours truly,
mister planklot

I roll a joint
forget the world
there is no pain now
there is no hurt
I fly in the sky
and I swim in the sea
as high as a bird
there is no one but me
I float in the clouds
I take the step nine
wonderful world is beautiful
I can feel my own mind
my heart beating in peace
away from the sick and diseased
there is no one but me
yet I think I see it all
only for a moment
maybe all of it is wrong
but it feels oh so pretty
like a mellow song
pulsating through my veins
oh look, I'm young once again
I'm there once again
in those summer days
old and golden
I think I am escaping
I no more feel broken
I hear the gods
I hear the words once spoken
I have this thirst in me
hunger for an ocean
I want to drown in rain
and Eat upon each star
there is nothing in the mirror
not even a scar
I think I understand heaven
I certainly can see no hell
I think I have found the key
to be locked away from myself
I can even taste the autumn
the grey of the gloom
and I can dance in the sorrow
and see the flowers bloom
I see the black and white
and everything in-between
colors dancing through a prism
in more colors than I've seen
I pretend I was never dead
and I shall live till the day I die
butterflies whispering in my head
of all the truth and them lies
I see beyond the realm of order
into the chaos and its madness
I can feel the silence of the night
and touch a stars emptiness
not a king but nor a slave
I see meaning in every page
all the black lights fade
I no longer need a cage
I am truly at one with
all that I've known and there is




























how long have I been speaking?
**** man, I'm ******, no ****.

you caress me through those seductive eyes,
stare at me as if I'll disappear in a moment;
what the clock may speak, arms wouldn't lie;
you always knew how to lock me within a moment
now I am stuck here with you
here without you, can you not hear my scream;
I've been love struck and stabbed by the cupid too,
I **** you away in my every dream.
and yet, you bring the summer alive,
not withstanding the winters creed;
how lonely you must have been,
to seek my sorrow,
together we can breed


monsters and demons,
angels and scars,
there's a road that leads to your soul,
you will eat me whole before the journey would last.
here take my hand;
take my hand and skin my eyes,
there is no need to **** and lie;
here take my hand;
take my hand and let me die.


wither into pieces,
for them to collect what was yours and mine,
wrap yourself up in a disease,
make me sick in the deep of my mind;
where sanity chokes on the ashes,
ashes those feed the fire;
how you make me feel;
so blessed, to have known the evil of my desires.


be gone before they find you,
in my arms, and without a head
bring me back to life so you can play with me again,
only to leave me more coarse and dead.

you were the one
now you are just someone
you were the one I was waiting for
now I've given up trying
and I know that you don't mind
maybe it's time for me to let you go
but I don't know if I can
there's a lot I don't understand
what were you waiting for
there's nothing but this hurt
you weren't even in love
and I can't take it anymore

so that's what you get
only regrets
you should have kept your Promise
but you let it through

I hope I forget
every trace of your scent
I am descending in madness
here without you



you were there
now you have disappeared
and I can't see through this smoke
I wonder if I cared
when you were still here
now every thought pains and choke
I loved you so much
now I know there is no thing as such
I guess you must have always known
there's nothing left to say
you don't have to stay
I know how it feels to be left so alone


so that's what you get
only regrets
you should have kept your Promise
but you let it through

I hope I forget
every trace of your scent
I am descending in madness
here without you
so in love with you

Stan woke up in confusion, in midst of white almost blinding light,
The last thing he remembered was falling in the lake last night.

Ted was still screaming when he opened his eyes,
A moment ago he was sitting in his car blazing past a red light.


Stan saw ted and whispered in confusion
- " er, where am I ?".

Ted was confused himself but slowly replied
- " I think we've both died"


And at that moment a strange figure emerged from the light,
He had a long beard and was covered in white left and right.

The stranger whispered
- " I am god and I welcome you to the otherside".
He looked at ted
- "follow me my sweet child".


The two of them then walked through what felt like an eternity,
Still confused if what they were witnessing was indeed reality.

They came to a large gate and a deep pit on the ground,
There were rows of cubicles and men with files all around.

God turned to them and said
- " we'll go through your files and send you to heaven or hell "
A chill ran down their spine
- " if you have anything to say in-between, please do tell ".

God cleared his throat
"come forward who ever the hell Stan Bundy is"
Stan took a step and god began
- " you died last night when you got drunk and decided to fish ?.

- "aye, I think so" replied Stan.

God: " you ******' think so, do you think all this is for fun?".

Stan: " I..i don't..er..sir..i mean god.. I was drunk".


God: " whatever, so you are an atheist, Am I right ?"

Stan: " ah..yes.. I mean I was.. Now I am not..that i've seen you from my own eyes. "


God: " later on that but let's check out your profile.. So you have three kids, two dead parents and one wife".

God: " it reads here that you regularly donate to the orphanage"

Stan: " yeah."

God: " you have also helped four hundred and thirty nine people in your life out of pure kindness ".

God: " man O' man, you are directly responsible for bringing fifty two people out of darkness ".

God took a breath and said
- " seems like you are a kind decent man, you respect women, and have equal love for nature and all men ".

God: " ..and you also believe in ..wait..WHAT..equality for homosexuality....! "

Stan: " all men are children of god... I heard that was your philosophy".

God: " .. You think you are really funny don't you, eh punk!
- " i will not answer your question, you can call my attorney, you...you.. Kind little drunk!"


Stan: " but..i..see.."

God: " ENough..step forward ted!"

Ted was scared to death

God: ".. You died while speeding a red light, no kids, two dead parents and a dead wife ".

Ted: " yeah..."

God: " its says here that you killed her but it wasn't proven ".

Ted: " er..god.. You are god.. Don't You know everything "

God: " listen kid, I am far too busy..pardon my french ..to give a **** about you.. And your little things!"

God: " it says here that you were an addict, an abuser, a convict, a murderer and a clown..wait a minute a clown ?"

Ted: " I had a gig with small children"

God: " it says here that you were also a peodaphile.. ".

Ted "..yeah..a peodaphile clown ".

God: " oh that makes sense".

Ted: " but I served my time for the offence"

God: " yeah, yeah.. Whatever..."

God: " you also stole and hurt as many as one thousand two hundred and sixty nine"

Ted: " but I confessed and found you god, I was cleared of my crimes "

God: " by who ?".

Ted: " them priests, who are advocates of you".

God: " oh, I see".

Ted: " I always had faith and I was raised by the holy book "
-".. I hate homosexuality and condemned them as much as I could".


God: " that's impressive".

Ted: " I also despised the ones who don't believe in you, my faith for you is as pure as dew".

God: " yeah, but you have done too much wrong"

Ted:" ..but god.. After I found you I became strong".

Ted: " I was told that all men who believe in you are your children and who don't are satans men, women and children".

God: " I think we should let past be past, you had faith and you found me at last".

Stan: " but.. He is an evil man".

God: " shut the **** up, you don't believe in me..so my laws you won't understand".


Ted: " Stan is a blasphemous pig ".

God: " oh, calm down but I feel you kid"


And so the fate of these two young man was put on hold,
God sent his staff to earth and a survey was done.

The clear majority chose gods law over the rational verdict out cold
And thus in the end it was clear that ted had won.


God went over to Stan and whispered in his ears
- " I am but a mere belief of men, holy books define me and I can't be rational in the end".

And Stan spoke in tears
- " to have no faith but only kindness was what I thought you would always preach,
Even though I didn't believe in you, I always thought this would be what you would teach ".

And ted spoke in fear

- " and I embrace him the way I was told, it isn't my fault that people have made all of this a big joke ".

And thus Stan was cast in hell and ted was made in heaven,
God stared beyond the stars and there was a smile on the face of Satan.


And god whispered to the lonely spaces of the universe..




How a kind man is found ill,
-They speak of it in my will
Faith was never a weapon,
To by used to inflict pain and ****.

I was meant to be,
A guidance to be brave and love
In a world of stones and idols,
My words were used as a curse.

My name is taken in vain,
To spill blood and cut veins
And they seek me when it's done,
So they can be pure again.

I was but to be in thy hearts,
To be found in every face
But instead they found me in books,
Them idols and holy place.

And now I wonder,
who I am ?
Father of my child,
Or king of a man ?.

I find myself pulling the trigger, against the silence that haunts and lingers,
withers in pieces and whispers;
in tears that kiss the hollow,
walking in darkness that swallows,
the moment about to follow
screams that won't be heard outside this box,
it is to be seen if I am or am I not a corpse,
here in this ambiguity, I feel so lost,
I fear the cost of repaying life with death,
for something I haven't met yet;
dreams I cannot forget,
and a handful of regrets,
here i am, chained to myself,
so the ashes can burn my skin and Eat my eyes,
consume the bliss and feed my lies,
I swear I feel I have died, every night there are only ghosts by my side,
dead moments and dreams,
my box is already full, and I can't let go of where I have been,
what I have seen in the loneliness of my being,
I am everything and nothing at all
I'm only standing in hollow as tears fall,
I am no one, inside the walls of this box,
I am someone, for something I rot,
I have no where to be and so I walk, I talk to the emptiness,
the loneliness,
of being me inside the box.

you are so ugly
so beautiful and pure
my rotten angel
your touch has no cure
I know I'm feeling
what I never knew before
more than a stranger
I know I love you
never been more sure
my rotten angel
I was no more
the smile you painted
in tears you pour
before I could be
you made me yours

fire won't keep demons at bay
sometimes I have nothing to say
I find myself drifting far away
from any whisper of night or day

I sit alone and I hide
in shades of black and white
in shapes of dark and light
sometimes silence hurts my eyes

the smoke consumes and fades
giving me what this world forbades
a little love for the slave
every noise is full of rage

pretending tears don't lie
they'll caress me until I die
in my dreams when I cry
a thousand years pass me by

and I am there as here I was
sometimes I always feel so lost
it makes me feel like a corpse
that I am the one who has to rot

and all the drugs in the world
can't buy me enough hurt
all the drugs of this world
can't fill my heart and **** this love

this pain
it makes you wonder..
would you have ever known
how alive the world is
full of life
if we were never born
if it wasn't for this pain
in the depth of your heart
by the tears in your eyes
in our dreams and lies

smiles and scars

how would we've ever known
they were always
telling us something
that we would lose it all
in just one blink
they knew our hurt
what we couldn't spell
in our whispers and words
that we've known hell
lost ourselves

it casts a spell

this love
is a weapon
even though when it hurts
this pain
it makes you wonder..
about heaven

when hell is above and sky is down
the rain suffocates and it drowns
I can't feel my feet
can't feel my heart
and I don't remember if i'll ever be found
I break apart
when silence makes a sound
for in this hollow
there's not a soul
nor a ghost around
there is nobody to be found
I know I'm chained and bound
to my fears and to my scars
who we are
what we were
how we will be
that's never going to count
'cause all we'll ever have
is walking dead
we're already dead
wearing a frown
We just don't know it yet

hazards of deep slumber
you can ask the night plumber
he shall tell you all about
though he has no face
they have no mouth
but you call him when
the night cannot end
he'll be there for you without a doubt
but be careful of what lurks below
down the way and into the hollow
where strangers don't say hello
and world has a different halo
there is a place deep inside
November and Hallow
where peace resides
never knowing morrow
there will be no light
to hurt your eyes
it would be almost like
that you have died
yet alive
so the reaper must have lied
but hazards of deep slumber
are too many to count
far ugly to swallow
but if you can keep the noise down
you can hear what follows
the fading morrow.

my scars are deep
on my soul they feed
I can't eat, I can't sleep
all these voices on repeat
they make me bleed
and I find underneath
a monster that hides
in case that I die
there's no good-bye
the scars are wide
you can almost see the night
hollow and despite
a recipe for more lies
that are buried inside
they still scream, they still fight
and no one can hear my plight
that I cannot see the light
but oh, I cannot see the light
there's a darkness that fades
into the hollow I made
silence cuts like a blade
growing a darker shade
now that I'm not awake
but oh, now that I'm not awake
can I be in this dream with you forever?
I am losing you with every breath that I take...

You were my peace, the beauty of this world;
You were my calm and ecstasy.
You were my heart beat, you were my drug;
You were my all, and you'll always be.

you are my pain, the dream I always remember;
you are the reason why I'm afraid to fall asleep.
you are my spring and the winter of December;
now that you are gone, i cannot even breathe.

you were my savoir, arms that kept me warm;
you were my home that held me from the storms,
now the rains drown me and I have no place to be;
longing for your embrace, soon the silence will **** me.

you are my darkness, that feeds on my soul;
without you I cannot leave, I will never be whole.
you are the emptiness that echoes through my being,
you are more than the years that are slowly growing old.

you were my moon, the light brighter than the sun;
you were the tale that kept me from closing my eyes.
you were the fire, that kept me alive and now it burns;
you were the reason why I never separated truth from the lies.

you are my sorrow, you are the face that never fades;
you will haunt me evermore, as you cut me like a blade.
you are the reason, for every demon I ever made;
and you shall be my death, as you were my life-
my love, it will all be over soon, you don't be afraid.*


Everything I was, was yours to keep;
Now all I am, I do not need.
When I'll be gone, I know you wouldn't weep.
For It's time you wake up and I fall asleep.

the lonely man plays the symphony of ages,
and ash drifts in the air like a winter song.
an angel sits by them stars; far away from a mortals reach,
and the road to the end feels so lost and long.




I keep you sheltered in my soul,
scattered pieces too brittle to hold.
I feel your longing, I feel my cold.
that sets in every corner; there's no place left to hide no more.

trees sway in the autumn breeze; bare and naked, dark and old.
the man plays on the symphony,  as the angel begins to cry.
her tears raining down from the night sky, piercing through the mans soul.
far from the horizon you can see a star fall and die.


I will feed on our memories and the thirst will never end,
only fuel the torment burning deep within.
my mind is going in a hundred different directions,
I don't know how much more I can keep it in;
before I become a monster.





the symphony tears through the emptiness of the sky,
and the angel begins to fall in the rhythm of his heart,
as the symphony played, there were no more truths and lies;
only hell and heaven, night and day, life and death to keep them apart.




nothing will remain of us as we move away,
maybe it's true, it wasn't me and you; but we have nothing to remind us with,
it wasn't the world, it wasn't our hurt,
tears of love; tears for love did it.

I will miss you
you will haunt me
I will suffocate
now that you're not with me
memories will fade
in ash and dust
and the tale that we made
will begin to rust
beneath stains of time
by the scars left behind
my heart is lost
and there's only you on my mind
shaping a million whispers
that you no longer want me
voices haunt me
the silence wants me
and all my suffering
lead me back to you
as your aura withers
I wither too
in pieces and shards
part by part
back into emptiness
and in this hollow I can hear
what I never knew before
and after all my tears
you were never here
it was all a dream
and I'm awake no-more.

it is ironic how the same people who preach about love are the ones who turn out to be monsters in the end,
to divide and rule along the lines my friend.
perhaps, it is only a tale of human suffering and nothing more;
everyone and everything suffers.
time itself will wither mountains and the Sun.
mere mortal elements of an immortal soul will bring down an empire;
the seed will grow into another fire.
lurking beyond the shadows are creatures of the dark;
spanning the barren lands consumed by the poison
and the dear ones near and far.
machines breathing ash and fire screech through the walls,
the rain falls and yet, the colour doesn't fades away,
the world is grey and has been from the age of dawn,
for everything born is evil;
and only a mother shall ever mourn.
children will devour the gods to fulfill their fantasy,
the power will bleed into the wounds of the ones gone and ugly.
pharaohs will guide the leash and unleash the thunder;
on one and for all.
the sky will fall and the sea shall rise, the ones who preach about love always pay the price.
nothing is without gravity in this world;
young and old both shall die,
it is ironic how nothing will ever matter even though love never dies.
it only kills.

I don't know if I can find my way back again
with all these miles eating their way through my soul
all I want is to hold you once again, oh baby
why don't you come and give me my heart back that you stole

do you like watching me cut myself open for you to see
that I have bled enough tears to drown the both of us
do you really think behind the walls you can hide from me
tell me now, tell me again, tell me what they tell you about love?

pretend nothing ever happened to make yourself calm
keep yourself drunk so that you don't know what to do
but depression always make me miss the warmth of your arms
tell me again, tell me now, tell me what did they tell you?

I find myself wandering in the empty alleys of the forgotten lane
only ghosts and rust linger there in the empty hue
I inhale the toxic fumes to keep my thoughts from eating my brain
I sometimes feel like a zombie too dazed and confused

withering in the shadows of the bygone yester years
rotting beneath the flesh of the time and its stain
separating dreams and fiction from the ones dear and near
searching through the scattered ashes and finding no names

if I **** myself before I can die, let me give you my all
for I have no place else to be, there is no place for me on earth
so tell me now, tell me when I'm sane before I fall
tell me now, tell me again, tell me what they tell you about love?

you should have known
we would be on our own
so alone
scared of tomorrow
'cause everything feels so hollow
we count the shadows
so alone
through the night
and tears follow
every breath we take
dreaming a tale that we made
but now it's no-more
like the summer we met
it's a different story
we've lost ourselves
the season couldn't stay
and we let
ourselves drift away
and now we know
how low
one can go
before the sky has withered
and now we know
why we didn't show
even though
nothing else mattered
nothing but you
nothing but you
now we don't have a clue
of what to do
and all I ever wanted
was all of you
I hope it's not true
what they say about love
so alone
on our own
we burned our home
so there would be no walls
now we have the sky
soon the tears will dry
and we can have it all
everyone but you
everything but love







now that we have the world
tell me, why does it still hurts?

.
.
.
.
.
.

I don't know, if I still care
But that doesn't even matter cause you're not here to hear what I have to say
And since you've gone away
I've been living in my yesterday
Forsaking my today
night and day
I've been searching for the answers at the bottom of every bottle
Trying to fit in the thoughts that don't even really matter
Sometimes I just sit back and push the throttle
And see where I lead myself
I don't believe myself
And I don't even really know where I see myself
With you, without ourselves
Is what they say is true ?
That we can't ever escape from ourselves
Well *******, **** everyone that has a need to tell
That there is heaven and hell
Good and bad
Maybe I should just **** myself
Maybe I would, but I guess
I don't really even care anymore
****.. I'm getting sentimental again
I am getting mental again
Maybe it's all just a game
Of names and lies
What do you do when you see someone else in those eyes
Before you can speak
The moment dies
You think you can finally sleep
But it eats you inside
Besides, you can't really tell if it's just a spell or you're losing your mind
Maybe you need help
But no pill is kind
My will is fine
My heart's still mine
Been around the world
I should have paid heed to the signs
Now there's something that feels empty inside
I've been looking but I just cannot find it
So **** it
I'm gonna take the bottle and hit the throttle
Get away from these voices that keep on getting louder
Maybe love is just not a word and tears not just water
****
I'm a thousand miles down and I've still got her
There's something about it, something about her
That drives me crazy.

Trembling in the cold
In darkness
Catching tears by the tail
In this silence
Another tale is told
Only to grow old and frail
Words and them whispers
A thought that impales
A rotten dream
Living in a lonely head
On a lonely breath
Painted in a darker shade
Only to fade
Beyond the eyes where
Death still holds a stake
Trembling in the cold
A memory to mold
In a story that we made
And now its fades
Oh, But now it fades
So I have to leave
Sugar, sleep...
It's about time you wake.

do tears still soak the bed
as demons whisper inside your head
do you feel lonely?
when the world is dark and cold
and there's nobody to hold you
as the moon grows old
does the empty space remind
the reasons you sat crying
can you not hear me
now that I am sick and dying
do you still remember my voice
now when tears don't make a noise
as I fade into the void
Bearing your silence
For us, forever.

here I am
ugly and weak
old and rotten
forgotten in my sleep
dreams are just whispers
nothing more than lies
darkness of the world
hidden in closed eyes
sometimes I find my pain
sometimes I scream a name
night after night I mourn the same

here I am
breathing the cold
as I numb my skin
there's a fire raging within
ashes fill my veins
and tears kiss my lips
as I wither in the thought of you being in arms of his

here I am
like I have always been
and there you are
a beautiful dream
sometimes I drown
sometimes I remember
you were here once
now it's another November
before the dead of December
bring me back to life

here I am
walking in circles
and seeking in the mirrors
of what fades with time
disappearing with all that was mine
no reflection shows your face
soon there will be no trace
of the place that rests just beyond the pines

here I am
still holding on to the pieces
as they cut me and scare me
and as I bleed the last of my emptiness
you will never find me

here
I am
there
I was
lost.

do you want to die ?

No..

then, why do you cry ?

i..i don't know


do you still deny ?

..what ?


lies ?
voices ?
dreams ?
life ?




the shadow creeps from within
forming a circle I cannot escape from
rings of smoke choke me inside this pit
where I have been since the beginning of time
consumed and alone
in my own
waiting..
thinking..
dreaming and mourning
sometimes the sunshine seeps through the cracks
and I can see every scar on the wall
tears begin to fall
and I know I have lost it all




is there nobody else ?

no..

do you remember yourself ?

I don't know

do you believe in hell ?

yes, it grows...


do you still deny ?

..what ?



pain ?
beauty ?
love ?
blame ?




the cold sets in every corner before converging into a singularity
and your mind loses control over your heart
have you ever seen a river cry ?
rain fly ?
because tears look like water from afar ?
like dried blood on a dead rose
breathing life into the beauty and its beautiful haunting
this deathly grim wanting
that lasts more than any day or night can swallow
and there is nothing in this hollow
either the silence  
or a whisper that fills the atmosphere with thunder and storm
there is no life to warm
the corpse





death has a solution, you know ?


can you let me go...


come near and I will show ?!


but i don't want to see.. I don't want to know


be one with the flow, can you let it go ?


no..



why deny then ?



because i would do it again.

one day you might find me wandering
wondering...
in dreams and lies
beauty of your eyes
forgotten words and whispers
as I have lingered
beyond reasons
across the seasons
touch me
and I will wither
fall into pieces
like ash drifting in the air
I will be everywhere
and you will know I never left
only you never saw me burning
as I was turning
into nothing without you

I feel so stupid
I feel so numb
stabbed by a cupid
swallowed every bullet
from the gun
dreams are lucid
I see a face of someone
the voice is muted
silence took it
I will be as dark once I burn
in ashes I will breathe
and in stone I shall beat
following shadows don't leave
to dark corner it leads
where shapes do not make sense
and the walls are hollow
only emptiness to repent
awaiting morrow
where the heart shall sing
in the cool breeze
sipping on morning dew
and no tears to weep
no mare to bleed
a place beyond the pines
where the world still keeps
the dreams sweet
in the night it falls asleep
waking to a dawn
with another soul to reap

I'm walking in darkness
All alone
Remains of the dead beneath my feet
The living has long gone
Black clouds thunder up high
Stars appear to fade
The fire is falling from the sky
Cold wind blows across my face

The leaves are falling from the trees
Circling around me
I hear them say
"look we are finally free"
Ready to go our own way
I envy them
Wish i could take their place
And fly away with the wind
In search of a forgotten face

The night is becoming cold
A strange silence is all around
I can hear my heart beat
Loneliness is all i have found
The winds are becoming stronger
And smell of defeat is in the air
It feels like they'll blow forever
Until I am here

I see cursed souls surround me
Haunted by their dreams
All day they just hide around me
Come about at nights to scream
I have walked for many days now
Every new day marks beginning of me
It may seem
For every night i get old and die
To walk in my broken dreams


*I have already surrendered
To the cursed dark of slumber

.
.
.

how things change
people don't remain
the same

again
it rains
the same

again
it pains
the same
again



it takes your name
again

and the same story grows old
so cold
in questions and answers

why was I forsaken
where were you mistaken
when It was all taken

my heart was broken beyond
any mechanical healing
you could have saved me
for someone else.

grey windows won't speak
gloom has set upon the moon
another winter
is in awakening

tears are wet
the eyes have wept
and soon
the coldness shall loom
and rule

in all directions but here
within my heart
where we still play

dancing beneath
a burning moon
in a golden room
where we will stay
waiting for another spring
to become and bloom
into many dreams

how you make me broken
shivering
inside my flesh in the crowd
my scars are open
withering
as the dark beats loud


would you not come
and save me from myself
or are you finally done
and I can make my way to hell


there's so much to learn
and breathe when there's no one
every empty space
waiting for someone

howling in the dark
searching through the scars

when emptiness is more
haunting than the silence
then there are no doors
only walls that are silent



I have died countless times
nameless hours
seething in the abyss
for a loveless heart
breathing the smoke
and nurturing dreams
nursing the scars
as the skin screams


wake me from this slumber
hold my hand and feed me to a cage
make me
a prisoner within my own mind
and remind me
what preaches the sage
about what's fair

finding clues
of skies and stars
near and far
inside of a heart
drinking
blueberry poison


inking red
across the corpses
dying arm in arms
in the coldness of dark
full of scars and worms
together and warm
once

when was i this greedy
sinking into this abyss cold
there is no way out now
no more arms to hold
and warm

I am calm
haven't eaten in days
but who cares
every last of them go away
why am I the last one to stay
in memories

it hurts more than I ever knew
but I've to act my part that is due
and remember
that no matter what you do
never feel less than yourself

I have walked less
than I have dreamed
and now it seems
I don't know myself
between the realms

tomorrow is strange
I'm afraid what I'm leaving behind
it sure has pained
in war between heart and mind
how it reminds
i was alive

light
escapes through the smoke rings
making a shadow
on the withering walls
air howls of fall
there is something grey
burning
filling the room with ashes
of what I lost
my all

struggling to breathe
and an ache too deep to hide
drowning in mist
nobody by your aide
only an illusion
that you harbor
to keep yourself safe

being young and naive
is harder than it may seem
because we forget
the rest
and only bleed
what we can have
instead of what we want

if I leave like this
I would have preferred the lies
all of those monsters
that pray and pry
they don't know yet
but the night is getting over
and I see a blue sky
the noise is getting lower
I am here and I would not die

how do you feel when she just goes away
and you keep wondering why she didn't stay
how do you feel when she just forgets
and you start living your life in regrets
what happens when she even forgets your name
instead of love all you get is pain
and as the time goes by
you think you are going insane
and there's nobody to help you
nobody to wipe off that stain
and what do you do when you're just left alone
every night you pray but in the morning you're still on your own
how do you feel when someone you love doesn't loves you back
but still you go on giving them everything you have
you keep thinking about them all night and day
they just take you by the heart and throw you away
how do you breathe when you feel so used, back-stabbed and abused
you kept thinking about making it all alright
but now you are confused, no one can help you, not even you
what happens when she looks in your eyes and see herself
but when you look back in hers it's somebody else
its so ******* painful, you wish you could die
but you promised yourself that you will never cry
but what happens when every promise turns out to be a lie
and people who you would've died for, don't even care if you die


what happens when you know
you can never let go
and the one you love so much
doesn't even know
you keep telling yourself
that its all gonna change
but you know in your heart
It will always be the same
you know you are alone
and will always remain
what happens when love becomes
the reason of your pain

I don't know what drug the world is on these days
I see only the faces, eyes, flesh not the soul beneath all that dark
is there a place in that pit of seething anger for a heart


there is a terrible silence beyond those metal walls
steel cages and burnt chains
roaring pets put to sleep in warmth of the fall
disappearing under the skeletons, looking for the remains
of what remains, written in ash


parallel realities crashing at the birth of a common sin
I have no clue why anyone would let the storm in
to a broken home
where there is none to feel alone

making pretty promises and petty vows is as good as gold
because there is nothing as such as cold
only the absence of them arms
that warmed every hollow space
only dreams and no face


perhaps there is more to this world than meets the eye
and it is a folly, a farce that the heart would never lie
maybe it has no clue, there cometh time to die
just ask the severed head resting by
and be polite


gamma rays are invisible and so was my imaginary friend
but under the lens, one can see how they break and bend
make and mend  
**** what they do not believe
what they won't see
crawling in torment


in a world where there is always more
than what meets the eyes
and in the end
we are left with even less to die with
drowning in tales around the world

beyond the golden mist in the sky
through those souls dark and white
drifting in the unknown
bleeding tears in the night
through the dawn
as a mother sleeps again
till the red rock kisses the hollowness
making the flowers bloom
there's a light in this emptiness
full of noise in this gloom
a lonely home in the infinite darkness
where the children play
young and old
here the corpses lay
no tongue and cold
born, burnt and sold
brothers and sisters
enemy and the friend
in those whispers
hearing about the end
and mother weeps silently
as the sky sheds golden tears
what gods do they pray to
when there is nothing out there
and everything here
is withering

why is it so hard to be together
when we want to be
even I will run away from myself
but never did she
-
and I am he
what she wants me to be
tied in ourselves
breathing free
from this world
and what it wants to see
every mirror is a word
showing a window and a tree
a man with an axe
walking in a beautiful sun-set
through a sky of orange haze
-
dreaming about the ones gone
as the night begins to wake
sometimes walls become a home
and the world becomes the cage
if we cannot be together, my love.

one day when I'll be gone
I don't want you to feel alone

I want you to learn on your own
for I do not want to see you mourn



I want you to smile and be glad
for all the moments we have had

I wish there was more than this black
and one day we can have it all back



how i wish we could be there again
I will love you till I forget your name

what we were and what we became
in your arms I never felt no pain




how so soon these years do fade
with everything that we once made

I hope this parting is worth its wait
I'll find you again, you don't be late



when I'll be gone you too don't have to die
think of us before you bleed one tear from your eye

when I'll be gone my love please don't you cry
close your eyes, smile and just say a good-bye

what i have gone through
have you ever wondered
I'm someone else, I'm not you
haven't you heard the whispers
kneeling in the dark
can you now see me my friend
tell me, why keep a broken heart
when we know it will all end
then why have thou forsaken me
amongst men and beasts alike
have you not mistaken me
for another creature of the night
even in the sun-light
you are not real anymore
awaking in the moon-light
you are not here anymore
and soon we'll both die
in the cold december
i've known nothing but you
and all I can remember is
that I killed you long ago
and I can still feel you linger
here, with every wind that blows
in this autumn sky that withers
still talking to you

we're not as stupid as we were told, the years of abuse has made us cold
the love is gone and hate won't hold
we're not the ones to be bred and sold,
we're more then
a small heart beating, repeating the world over and over in a rhythm to make a song of life;
black river, blue skies, two faces in the crowd weaving sunlight,
grey world and white,
taught to be loved but finding not a soul by your side,
we have come from the same place, same stories and tales,
albeit different words but the same sounds, the noise;
when you've been screaming all night cold but no one is there to hear your voice;
words perish into the pages, tears cash in blood and ink-
reflection from the mirror, ugly and faded;
when did it matter when we began to think ?
when we began to sing, bowing to the queens and kings,
breathing the world in and watching all of its sins
and lies, what we know and have seen from our eyes;
unheard, what they don't see..what they can't see,
drawing the world in the shapes we want it to be;
always told that the mind won't hold over the matter,
and dreams are...just dreams, build and bred to be shattered,
in a million pieces to be scattered, so we never find ourselves;
the old road has been bitter, the steps ahead lost to the mist,
echoing the same reason that made us clench our fist;
spoken ill, made to be weak..blindfolded with what they had to teach,
but we learned, as they preached;
the one's who got away,
the one's who got away,
now we suffer, from another siege,
locked and chained, walked through years of tears and defeat;
made weak, enough scars that we won't leave,
tied in love, awoken in dusk..the dawn has always been on the far,
falling prey to their lies as we rust and bleed;
we could never see a mother weep, there is something hollow somewhere deep;
walking to the edge of the world, only to fall and meet,
the one's who got away,
the one's who got away,
they would never know our pain, as we watch another one die,
who are you, I've never heard them ask us why,
if only we could see them cry;
and they still pry on us,
now a black heart beating, repeating the world over and over in a rhythm to make a song of lies;
we have always been more, if only they could ever see the world from our eyes.

Oh this life is bitter
It's bigger than you or me
and you are not me
i am someone else
distance is on the rise
i haven't been myself
it was so long ago
i think I've killed myself
looking in the mirror
hiding in the corner
that's me in the corner
burning your whispers
as they wither
I feel more than I used to
what if I ever need you
and you won't be there
i want you here
so you can haunt me again
be mine, give me a sign
remind me how it felt to be blind
I want to hear my name
one last time
it took me so much to find
what I have lost
that I have lost
more than I
ever will be
and still you won't see
that I am on my knees
waiting to be freed
I don't want to bleed my all
when your tears don't fall
don't you hear me call
screaming, dreaming
fighting air and light
breathing night
can't you hear my heart
going black


only ever count the lies
numbers and figures
in isolation, waiting for no one
finger on the trigger



doing what we never meant to
I see you, I can't be with you again
I can feel your pain, take my name
burn my words if they are strange
for I have no clue about you
no clue what I became, since you came



I think I've killed myself
I want to be wrong
but I have never been strong
so weak
that I couldn't even leave
and stay
as I bled
all the hurt I could bleed
waiting to be freed
from the chains of hell
as far as I know
no on we can tell
sometimes I wonder
if they ever consider
what you put me through
I have never known you
and you never knew me too
it was all in the whispers
now they have withered
weathered the storm
pierced by the shards
echoing in a broken home


































Oh this life is bitter
It's bigger than you or me
and you are not me
i am someone else
distance is on the rise
i haven't been myself
never been more wise
i think I've killed myself

I am weak, I am sick
so hungry that
I can even eat my skin
my thirst
is burning my heart
as I rust and
bleed in the pit
drinking my blood black
and drowning in
an ocean of sin
being carried to the depths
of dark and more
where I am not
who I was anymore
only bones and flesh
monster without a master
I killed myself
and buried myself after
only to find me wandering
the corners of the mist
in deep, silence and wondering
if dark can speak through the hollow
echoing the voices of his
luring me out in the open
across doors hidden and broken
colours exploding in themselves
melding in a winter dream awoken
from a deep slumber
my years are only a number
of how long I have been
but not what I mean
and what i have seen
is more than I ever could be
the rage in my heart poisons
my eyes and my lies
inhaling numb tales and potions
portion of me not ready to die
believing seasons can linger
longer than the winter
before they wither
i hear them whisper
of the ones lost and taken
of the wise and mistaken
of the ones forsaken
born into this world
where chains set you free
and dreams slit your throat
i have more scars than me
you don't see through the smoke
you've kept me in
I can even eat my sin
i want to leave, i am sick

I stand watching as you keep walking
on
The last drop has been bled and now
i'm all alone
What little hope I had you took it
along
And now even the stars in the dark
sky are gone



Hurt me once more O' you cruel
wicked world
Take me to the memories i've never
been
Make an ocean from my tears
and blood
A dark and cold abyss that i've never
seen
Drown me in my own nightmares
ignore me once more
Take that last piece of my sanity and
ignite me 'cause I'm so cold
Let your fire make me want to wish
that I was never born
Make me feel all your pain that
no one has ever known
Its still not enough , every fall that
you've shown
My eyes are still closed and they
won't mourn
Open them for me , so I can be blind
again
Take me with you and away into
the unknown
Let the lingering dream finally
be buried
And now is the time to lead me to the
unmarked grave
I've to reach home soon , mama will be
worried
Give this heart of stone what it craves
and what you made



Show me the way to myself , a road
never walked upon
Let the strangers strangle me along
the way
Burning with rage , a seed that i've
sown
Let me walk back to my demise and
be on my own
Burn my skin with every lonely breath
I take
Creating reality that we never wanted
to make
Now what have I , an endless
nightmare that I made
Fed it all my hurt and now it's ready
to take my place
Hurt me again O' you cruel wicked
world
It has been so long that I can't even
remember my face
Bury me once more in your dark and
dirt
**** me for I never want to escape
from this maze
Spill my blood and paint it all across the
walls
Tell them my story , tell them I was
never lost
Now take my hand and let me fade once and
for all
Walk me to the edge of myself and
just let me fall





Let my tears sing for the rest of the
lonely world
Make them see through my every
hollow word
Let them be one with all the pain and
despair  
Make them see what I couldn't in my
hurt
Let me be the road to guide them
back home
The warm shadow that won't ever
leave them
alone
The face in the mirror when everyone
else
is gone
Let me be the one for whom they
would all mourn
Let a song be heard from the depth of
my grave
And let the stars be found again in the
approaching sunrise
For every lost Soul trapped inside
the dark maze
Make them remember that we'll
always
have the sky
Hurt me once more O' you cruel wicked world
make this ocean of dread rage with all
that's left alive  
Burn me down with all your wrath
and fury
And watch me with dismay
as I slowly
come back to life


Hurt me once more O' you cruel wicked world

*Hurt

forgotten souls burning cold, unspoken words never told
disappearing voices echoing the same old lore
preaching what they cannot see

autumn is here again, now corpses will taste the rain
dreaming about the scars that do not have a name
learning what they cannot be

swallowing as it fades, another sin this world forbade
scars of the world that it nurtured and made
now engraved on me

children dying, a father crying for the one's that do not make it back
a mother is lying to the mirror watching it grow black
whispering love isn't free

another winter to keep, a heart that would weep
watching every waking eye fall back asleep
as scars of the world rage free

eternally

his dying breath was hollow
you could see the dark in his eyes
it was drizzling from morning
grey mourning with a white sky
there were more but empty
spent by the masters and sage
corpses lined in a beautiful dream
one you see when you cannot wake

he too made peace with the scars
eaten away never to be whole
only the sound of his failing heart
called a name amidst the roars
between the journey and end
within the coffin of despair
there he laid mine nameless friend
whilst corpses danced everywhere

the dead won't say a morbid word
deaf and blind from all the screams
rotting angles by a mothers hurt
buried with them love and dreams
he laid there ever so softly
in the middle as the song raged
Buddha of war, they all must be
burning cold as they fade

into the endless nothingness
as the hell breathes them in
forever to hear the silence
so that the world can sing

numb fingers don't burn
cold heart won't scream
what have we become
how long has it been
when you and i were in love
but now as i look back it seems  
we were dawn and dusk
and maybe it was all a dream
a clock ticks by magic tricks
what is gone shall never return
keeping tears hidden in mist
there are more things to burn

what do you owe
you ask yourself
pretending still
that there's an answer
in your misery
buried inside the depths
dark and weary
--
crawling on the walls
hidden by the scars
rotting old
that there's a face
more ugly
than yours

too much confusion for the retribution,
Making our holy way to the next illusion,
no delusional about what is real and what is not
I don't know, I just got here and I really can't
say a word more because the noise won't let me speak
it takes me over, puttin' all of these verses on repeat
it eats me from the inside and I know I hear a voice
I think it is me, drowning in all that noise
Screaming for a hand to pull me outta this hole
you gotta understand it doesn't take much to be whole
Only when you break apart my man, can you see the pieces
pick up the shards, make a mirror and feed it
take a page outta the reflection, cause you're gonna need it
watch as you've not done before, that face you've gotta bleach it
don't jump too high if you're afraid of the heights,
tryin' so hard but you can't reach it, you can't keep it,
You can't leave it, you have to bleed it or the dream shall die and they won't believe it.

swallowing tears as they fall
head up high against the wall
remember how you told me
I would mean nothing at all
nothing at all, nothing at all
yet I believe..

moonlight whispers,          
angel's sing.            
    strangers meet,
  in a stolen home.                    
  a dream withers,
when night blinks.                          
 somewhere far,
                    dark and alone.

can you not see the shape of my empty heart
its a rotten circle and full of dark and  hollow
rude teen routine silently cutting and falling apart
I'm another mess that needs an addiction to follow
inflicting the rage in the shape of invisible scars
i have a monster within I nurture with my hurt
my conscience is broken and my veins filled with shards
disappearing somewhere between the dawn and dirt


this skin is not me, I must have been more than this flesh before
there's someone within me, i don't remember who i was anymore


do you still believe everything that was ever known
reading between the lines and feeding on  a silent stare  
is there more than one whenever you find yourself alone
sometimes the long steps ahead lead us back to nowhere
i have been bred the same guilt in my bones too
caging me in my own filth so I never see the sun
i am still a corpse no matter how much love I do
you never know, the mirror can show you what you've become


this skin is not me, I must have been more than this flesh before
there's someone within me, i don't remember who i am anymore


would you forever pretend what lives may never die
there are more lies out there to make you whole
sinking down the abyss, in a thousand words I die
I'm eating my own sins so that the fire can burn old
and consume me in my own self, nothing just another name
carved in words, I will be gone as soon as I fade
you can never reclaim yourself in memories again
only if i knew that for a dream to end, one has to wake


*this skin is not me, I must have been more than this flesh before
there's someone within me, i don't remember if i want this anymore

this life it *****, it rusts in dust
it lusts for the thirst of your blood
flowers in dirt and dies in dusk
count your scars in tears plucked
wearing a mask of mothers guilt
in the same home, a father once built
by the same hands that devoured love
of a few names that a box once filled
smothered by the memories tamed
unspoken words burning the remains
from all those dreams that were killed
none shall see the face smile again
standing so still against the wall
almost dead if not for your shadow
there is no room for you here at all
them lies are all buried in the meadows
whispering in the winds now again
how hollow is the lonely song
the piper keeps piling the corpses
only for more to come back along.