Lets forget yesterday
Love-
Love, I'm here to stay
Forever
Maybe, I've forgotten
The rotten
Corpse I was
So Lost
But now I have you
And love-
My love, I'm scared too.

I've never been more sure
About anything
So cold
The winter still stings
And I sing the lore
Of me and yours
And I know
That without you
I'll be never sure
If I am still alive.


So much left to say
All the voices
Stay
Singing in my head
Our choices
Sorrow and regret
Beating in my chest
All the lies you have wept
Will fade
In the vows I have kept
And be made
In tears you have shed
Because
Without you
I am a corpse, I am undead.

Dim lights now remind
Of a space
I once was locked in
I now find
Another face to be
In the mirror
I saw him
Struggling to breathe
A hideous being I found
I turned to see
But there was no one
Only me around
I heard the sound
Of the law that bounds
A heart to the grave.


Prophecies I could never see
In a tomorrow that could
Never be
A tear drop in the sea
Invisible
But free
Invincible
But without she
Longing
Of a belonging
To the same embrace
And I saw it fade
I saw your face
Burning in the fire.

Ashes lust of freedom
To dance in the air
Make merry in December
Mourning everywhere
There
And then
I saw you standing
Tears melting
In the rain
Black shadows
Walking
And talking
I can see your pain
And I see my name
Kneeling by your feet.

Every step I take is another scar on my soul,
I wish you could eat me and consume me whole
Rip me apart in pieces, till there's nothing left to hide-
I wish I could make you feel every tear that I've cried
So many words I've chained from the noose on my throat,
One whisper to wear and one whisper to choke,
Too much confusion, let us be gone somewhere,
Only a pull and you won't even see me anywhere.


How can I see through your eyes
In the hollow mask you keep
If all you do is dream about the lies
Tell me, how do you leave ?


You live with a delusion that I must be real,
An illusion someday the wounds you gave me will heal,
I cannot breathe, you caught my breath once again,
I hope the silence would be better than all of this pain
And there's no one left to tell us what we want,
I thought everyone will be gone, in a wish to haunt,
My hurt is for you to keep, too many tears I've bled
Now swallow my pain till your tears become red.


I've seen every whisper of love die
You think I've never seen you weep
If your lies are as hollow as the sky
Tell me, how many stars you need


Seek your own nightmare, I've had enough to feed,
So many questions but I've not got enough to bleed
Buried in your night is the tale of my blue sky
You know every answer but you still ask me why
Take me to your dreams and I might see more clear,
How it makes you feel when you have love to bear
I have no other reason to guess what you mean,
And all I want is that I can smile when you do scream.


I've had it all once upon a time
In the yesterdays for us to keep
Now that you're no longer mine
Tell me, how do you sleep ?

I've never seen you cry
Did the scar ever cut  you deep
Now I'm the one who had to die
Tell me, then why do you weep ?

I wish I could tell you
Everything that's in my heart
About all those little things
That break me apart
Words in my tale
That I never spoke
And these empty pages
On which I've never wrote
Of everything that hurts
And eats me from inside
I wish I could tell you
Why is that I still hide
From everything I've seen
And all that I've known
What it takes to be who I am
And why I am still so alone
I wish you could find me
And I wouldn't have to be so lost
All the bridges that I've burned
And all the oceans I've crossed
To reach where I am today
In this barren land so cold
In years that have rained on me
I've never felt more old
I wish I could tell you
About every moment I'll ever live
And about the lake I drown in
With every tear I'll ever give
I hope you'll understand
Every scream that you'll never hear
Time slips away like sand
In dreams that you'll never bear
I wish I could hold you
And be spent while you're near
I wish I could tell you-
One last time
But you are not here

Can't you feel it in my heart that I'm burning,
Got bit by a zombie and man, I'm ******* turning.
Would I end up as ugly as before-
They say beauty is inside
So, If I peel my skin-
I'll be prettier than before.
Man, I don't know,
They seem pretty gross to me.
I mean,
I'm no racist,
But I know you'll get me-
When you see one running around,
They are everywhere, man-
On the roofs and on the gound.
I saw a man once being caught,
Only his ******* was ever found.
I saw some drown tough,
It was very funny.
I guess, they haven't learned to swim yet-
But there are just too many,
Of them-
Running naked on the streets,
Going after every piece of living thing,
Alive or dead,
Man, it's something you can never forget,
It's crazy out there, man-
And if you haven't seen that ****,
You won't understand.
Even the dogs are infected for some weird reason,
Hollywood got that one right,
Yes, indeed.
There are zombie dogs for real.
Zombie dogs
Oh my god-
So ******* cool, man,
They chase around the slow ones on the street,
It's fun to watch,
Only one or two usually gets caught.
But it's also very trying,
I've lost so much weight, man.
I now look like that bale guy,
Who was batman,
Remember,
In that joker film,
It's him,
I saw his movie where he is so so thin.
Forget that,
I mean it's different than I thought,
It's like being in a war,
A real war.
Now I feel how those people felt, who were living in a war,
And I never gave **** about 'em all,
We speak tall, man-
But we left them to crawl.
Whatever-
So, I'm feeling strange,
Not Like the strange strange,
You say when you say-
You're feeling strange,
It's a little different,
Strange.
But I'm about to die anyway,
So what the heck-
I'm gonna run the horse one last time,
Hey, it's not a crime.
I also don't like blood,
Man, that **** scares me.
And the government is gone,
So nobody is there to care for me.
It's horrible-
And not even Hollywood bad.
It's way more nasty, man
They don't tell you that stuff in the movies, man.
Horrible sight of filth and naked, ragged bodies,
Covered in dirt and blood-
Chewing on a finger of somebody.
They pop those like a candy man,
I mean, a long juicy meaty stick of meat,
Oh, ****-
I think I'm becoming one of them, I have to leave,
If you find me-
Shoot me in the head,
And if I bite you,
Don't be mad.
They also ****, man.
It's kinda' sad.

Who's the fairest of you all ?
And why mustn't I fall asleep
I see your black eyes now again
But you know mirrors don't weep
And the darkness of the night
Chops off the arms on a clock with a face and no time
And let me ask you now again,
Why must I abide your sins to carve mine ?
Who designs the pyramid
Where my tomb will sing for a pharaohs will
Why is my queen so red
Is Alice alive still ?
Why is my abyss not hollow
So many thoughts I can't fill
I'm just standing there naked and frozen in despair
Pretending to be the prey a hunter cannot ****
Can a heart be sold
Made into a weathered rock resting on a page to unfold
Is the line on your face not gold ?
Or is it crass
Like the bronze that comes third no matter what the stakes are
Is it fair
To draw your own scars
Change who we are
And
To be fairest of them all ?
When no one can see
And there is no magical mirror
To tell you what they tell you to be
Can a blind person admire your skin
Or is it the voices he hears
When he touches you within
Can you please knock on the door
Before I let myself in
Who's the fairest of them all you ask
I don't care
My glass is broken and filled to the brim

To my beloved grandpa who died a couple of days ago, I miss you.




The one who opened my eyes,
I saw him slowly go blind.
The one who made me who I am;
I now cannot find.
The one who taught me-
Of the world and so much more.
The one who loved me,
And the one I loved-
I know he's now no more.

And I slowly swallow my pain,
As I let them tears dry.
I wish I could see again-
To hear you call my name,
Had a chance to say my good-bye.

As I remember how it used to be,
I can almost hear your voice.
Now I swallow this reality,
Perhaps, it was destined to be,
Either way; we never have no choice.

You taught me who I am,
And I learned from you my all.
Now from where I stand-
I hope one day I will understand,
Why those tears could never fall.

And in every tale you ever told,
I find myself walking in them.
Guess every breath took its toll,
I hope you're not too cold;
I'll remember you from back then.

I will cherish your every memory,
More than your picture on my wall.
I don't know if it's a tragedy-
Nothing is forever meant to be,
I promise, I will remember your all.

I want to hold you one last time,
But now you're so far away.
And as I dig deeper; I find-
That you've always been mine,
And I'll always have our yesterday.

You'll be at home in my heart-
Always, and a part of my soul.
Every story from end to start,
I'll always be there to guard,
For without you I'll never be whole.

Of all those sweets you gave,
This one tastes bitter the most.
And I know there'll be no grave,
I'm afraid one day you'll fade-
Only to be another ghost.

But I'll remember your face,
As I did, when I was only a child.
I know you won't leave a trace,
As when you leave this place-
That has been yours all this while.

I promise I will keep you alive,
For I know this cannot be the end.
Don't worry; I'll be alright,
For I have you by my side-
And I'll miss you my dearest friend.

If only water
Could cure my thirst
I would gladly
Drink an ocean
And if I could spell all
In my words
My voice wouldn't be
So frozen
I wish there was
No me at all
But now I am here
Witnessing another fall
And it's hard not to think
Of All the leaves I've lost
Now my body stands naked
And burnt
In a winters call
Wish I could speak
And paint you a spring
All the colours I've tasted
And the seasons they bring
Eventually fading to black
Into the unknown
But I know
These memories won't
Leave me alone
And I know
I can't go back
To the nothingness
From which I was born
Because now I know
What life is.

Save yourself some tears
My love, it's alright
Come, I'll hold you near
And be with you all night

Take my arms
And lay your head
Stay close, dear
So I can feel your breath

Let me breathe you now
Taste you and caress your all
Come, I'll learn you now
Tonight we'll bring down the walls

I'll kiss you ever so softly
With all the love I bear
Embrace you, my only
And You'll have no nightmares

Show me your heart
And I will give you mine
Morning's not that far
We don't have much time

So take off your mask
And she me your face
Quick now, I ask
Before I wake

Love me while it lasts
And till the darkness fades
A shadow our love casts
In love tonight we'll be made

There's no need to fear,
I am here and I'll never leave
Save yourself some tears,
And I'll make them mine to keep

I will keep you in me,
From the hands who pry
We were meant to be
And I know that's not a lie

I hope that you can hear me,
My girl, you don't have to cry
Save yourself some tears,
And I'll drink the rest from your eyes

My dad was my superman when I was small,
I was thin as a skeleton and maybe some four feet tall
And I felt nothing in this world could ever harm me,
Because I knew he was the strongest and brightest of them all.

He carried me on his shoulders for hours at an end,
And more than a dad - he tried to be my friend  
I had everything I could've asked for and then some more,
Life used to so much more colorful and magical back then.

And now I see my superman withering and falling grey,
He now looks nothing like the hero of my yesterday.
So many things I have kept hidden that I want to say
But I can do nothing as I slowly find my own way.

I'll never forgive him for ruining my delusion,
That nothing was even real and everything was a lie
And I'll pretend that whatever he was, was an illusion,
But even in my confusion, I see him through the same eyes.

And it makes it even more unbearable and full of pain,
That whoever he was back then, he'll never be the same
Only an ailing corpse with nothing better to do with his time,
I don't even know what he is now, he looks so strange.

Those memories, I won't be able to clear from my head,
And I would hate him as long as I live, till my last breath
When I see him dying, I have nothing but regret,
I loved him too much I guess and now I wish him dead.

My dad was my superman and now he's frail and old,
Sometimes I pretend that he died a long time ago
He was my everything but the age has taken its toll
And he's the reason why I can't love, he made me cold.

I remember how he used to make me smile and laugh,
Tell me that I was a piece of his soul and heart
Now I have nothing but empty tales to feed my being,
And I watch him slowly fading and it breaks me apart.


I hope he dies and I never have to see him again,
I know I am sick, but there's not a thing I can change
He should have kept his distance and now it's too late
I am his, and he's mine- but I can't take that blame.

It's almost revolting to see how pathetic he actually is,
Even the sight of him is enough to make me sick
I hope he knows how much I hated his magic tricks,
And he made everything magical, with that sly laugh of his.

My dad was my superman and I think he'll always be,
The reason it's too hard is because he means the world to me
And when I see him struggle, I wish I had never known,
That no matter how much you love someone-
someday they'll leave you alone.

Dear stan, as I write this letter to you I'm sitting at rock bottom
You told me i'll be well by summer but now it's another Autumn
There's nothing to look forward to, and I still feel so rotten
I've been having these nightmares lately and maybe I need them
They keep me up all night, otherwise I have those pills they gave me and sometimes I pop 'em,
Remember those anxiety attacks I used to have, I've still got them
I don't know how any of this will end but I think I finally need a friend,
I'm tired of talking through a pen, and I don't know when I might do something I'll regret later,
There's so much going on and she gives no **** at all, I hate her
I guess I would to, if I was in her shoes
But I have told you how much I love her,
And I don't know what to do, I don't want to alienate her
I have no one else and I know I am lucky to have somebody
But I don't think I deserve her because I am nobody
I know she worries and I can't help but feel sorry
All I want is for her to be happy, but I know if she remains with me soon she'll lose everybody
I know what she's feeling inside even though she never tells
I don't want to be that someone but I know I can't be anyone else
I don't know what needs to be done to get out of this hell
Sooner or later I know I'll reach for the gun and disappear like everyone else
Before I die I want to make sure I did everything I could
You told me to never judge a book by its cover and maybe I should
And you know if there was a way out I'll run for it, you know I would
Sometimes I smile when I think about my childhood though it wasn't good
At least I had a place I could call home and I don't know if again, I ever would
I could've had easily slipped into the bad influence of my neighborhood
But I never did, I never took a hit
I always kept my distance until this loneliness did it
Now I need it, like a mother needs her child
And now I don't remember how to live without it because I've been doing it all this while,
There's so much more I would like to say but I'm forgetting my own words
I've been shut inside these walls for so long that I've forgotten how the world works
I'm afraid to open a door because I know it will close once I leave
I've been so close but I know you tell me to stay in control and believe
But I can't help myself or her when she weeps
I've been grateful for so many things but I know there's something I still need
Because I know how I feel when everyone goes to sleep
I have this hunger inside of me that nobody can feed
You told me that if I fight my demons one day I'll be freed
But no matter how much I try, this promise I can't keep
I'm so tired and all I want is to fall asleep
But I know I might never wake from a scar this deep
I've had so many till now that I've lost my count
I try to hear in the silence but I hear no sound
And even though when I'm in a crowd it feels like no ones around
Why is it that even though I'm at the rock bottom I'm still falling down
I don't know why I picked my pen today and felt like putting it all out on the table
And trust me I'm no fool, I know you think I'm unstable
But trust me, I've been trying to find a ride back home
But guess what, nones available
And There's so much weight on my shoulders that I know I won't be able
To get back on my feet without crushing myself in the process to be stable
I know I'll fall right back into the abyss, and no one would even miss me
Though I had a little hope you gave to me but I know it's unsustainable
Because all the pain I have in me makes that mountain unattainable
I wish things could have turned out a little differently
But now I am all but gone, detached from my own reality
I know I will give in to this pressure eventually
Break apart and disappear for one last time
And I know you knew it too, c'mon what chance did I have statistically
But I would still like to pretend that we're not staring at the end
And I still have a chance to defeat the monsters I've bred
I hope you don't mind me speaking out my mind, my friend
But Don't feel bad for Me if someday they find my corpse with a hole in my head
I'm sure you'll be the only one to ever miss me enough to give a ****
We both know how it'll all turn out and I admit it hurts
But you never know the reason for anything why anyone does
And sometimes you need to perish before you can get rid of the curse.

Yours truly
Stan

Mary had a little lamb butchered by the same people who raised him
His throat was slit open and skin peeled as they made their way in

He would be enjoyed that evening served with some sauce and wine
His eyes blank with nothingness and soul struggling to leave his body behind

As he was fed to the fire; there was no one in the room more cold
His fate but sealed when in pieces he was sold

And thus, it would end - one story cut short by a blade
To be served and bled in shadows that one day will fade

There by the boiling *** full of dead plants and salt
Will be the final farewell and the last assault

And there by the wooden table sat Mary who once had a little lamb
Tongue struggling in lust, eyes glimmering in the bright of a lamp

Mary had but forgotten about the little creature she raised
Slowly seeping back into the real world and morrow she faced

Not that she wouldn't remember the time they once had
And the cherished memories would surely take her back

But tonight was an exception; when will it be served she wondered
She would have loved to see it blossom, but **** this hunger.

Young harry was staring down his own ****
When he heard his mom screaming through the walls
"Come down at once, little harry"
He knew it was his moms final wake up call
He stared in the mirror one last of time
And he could see that something was wrong with his eyes
Afraid if he sought too deep he would encounter what he isn't supposed to find
He must remember that sometimes nightmares are but a lie
He crept through the mundane routine of cleaning self
As if making himself pure of the disgust he had in store
Dreaming about saving the world from the ****** monsters
He was sure that if anything - he didn't want to be himself anymore
He touched the prisoners attire put ever so neatly on his bed
Something about the fabric made him wither in rage
Filling all of their disdain and beliefs all day in his head
He couldn't believe he was but a slave at this day and age
Recalling how destiny plays a certain part in deciding ones fate
He'll always have a deep seeded hatred against his faith
For he was born and bred without any control of his
And that if he knows anything - he'll know it was only a mistake
So, putting on the tie and smiling for the first time in weeks
Harry watched his reflection in the mirror change
I hope it's a beautiful day thought he
No one's in the joke yet of what now he had became
.
.
Little birds chatter outside safely in their warm nest
And the newspaper boy dives by the street in a breeze
Warm corpses ready themselves for another day of nothingness
Talking as if they really remember the stories they believe
But little harry had an ace up his sleeve
He wouldn't crawl around like another insect waiting to be crushed
Instead he would light the fire of his agony
And wait as he and his destiny slowly burn to dust
He must be ready before they find out what he has in mind
Nothing scares him more than the shadows he counts all night
There isn't anything that he won't choose to leave behind
For there won't be no tears as he watches it all go out of sight
Everything was perfectly stable till he joined the crowd
And now he has no place to call as his own
He has no clue what that circus is all about
And if he can claim anything - it's that he has no home
Now left only a wanderer in this place of rules and law
He has but forsaken any hope of retribution
Tired of learning their ways and flaws
He has but chalked up his own bearing conclusion
No more shall he bleed for their amusement
Abuse of their power must now come to an end
Cure is sometimes more lethal than prevention
And sometimes it's not easy to differ between a spur and an intent
.
.
Harry had by now walked out of his room and into a hall
And his mother was sitting still by the chair with ketchup in her hair
He assumed she was the reason why he wasn't as tall
And responded by spilling his moms own ketchup everywhere
There wasn't much left of him anyhow either
All but a face peeking through the atrocities of a time-line
As if wallowing in reckoning of the leading piper
It was now that he will claim his moment to shine
Those days of utter torment most difficult to forget
And how easy it was to pretend like someone actually cares
People don't have a clue how lonely it can get
Searching for magic wand that's nowhere
By now his head had cleared of the ills of the pills
And he could sharply respond to the environment he was in
He had but a greater role to now act and fill
A messiah to cleanse everyone of their guilt and sin
So, little young harry put his dads toy in his backpack
And soon he was on his way to carve a lore
Not about to give in to the pain and hurt he must've had
He thought to himself; what a beautiful day to be remembered for.

Trembling woes pay no heed
Nor a breath to bring me back to life
As they flow and come to cease
My tears have no face left to hide

Beneath the stairs behind the wall
There would lie my secret chest
Now it's lost and I've burned it all
Along with sight of my lonely nest

There by the ashes I used to play
In memories that now I never see
A handful of magic that drifts away
In my tomorrow to set me free

A voice that still lingers on
Of the blurred eyes I beg to forget
In ruins where I quietly mourn
Where all my broken pieces are kept

How fast the arms can tick
One trick that you learn in time
A castle torn apart brick by brick
And no one's there to solve a crime

So the prison is made in dreams
Where the magic truly never dies
See for yourself how far you can lean
Before you take wings and learn to fly

And then when you must wake
Burn down the last of your dream
lest find yourself in a cage
Where no one ever hears a scream

So leave now when you can
Or the scars will rip you apart
You are but only a man
And every man owns a heart

Before you kiss despair you
Disappear in the depths of your skin
Lock the door and call a truce
And don't let anyone in

Where trembling woes pay no heed
Nor a breath to bring me back to life
As they flow and come to cease
My tears have no place to hide


So I ask this of you my friend
From the deepest abyss of this page
Remember all before you must end
In the season of ever withering age

Don't you remember your face
When you realized
That I was a king
And now how it fades
When in your lies
I began to mean something
Those words are lost
And so are you
In your pain
So the angels won't stop
To pay a devils due
In a morbid shame
So let the hell burn your soul
Enchain you
Enchant you
Till your scars become sour
Feed you to the ashes
Crush you and suffocate you
Trap you cold
And you are sold
The lore
Voices in your head
That were bled
And shed
Kept
In a box that was lost
When the heart wept
And the sheets were red
So take your pain
And build a wall
Pick your hammer
And bleed it all
Eat away all your scars
Those cut too deep
Don't worry about your sin
Only feed
As you grow in a vengeance
Another tear
That you don't need
Heart heeds no resistance
When a breath leaves
And you drown in your own
As when the poison seeps
Consuming the locked doors
And you're freed
So consume what is left
And burn away all that is gone
Engrave your pain
On your heart of stone
Give in to your nightmares
And enslave your mind
Skin yourself bare
So nothing is left to remind
The signs
And the memories
That won't die
And the truth in your eyes
More painful than a lie
Emptiness that feels like
The hollow of the sky
Where the stars kiss the dark
And rule the infinite
The same color
As that of your heart
A shadow in the night
And when the black reigns
In corner you run to hide
In a hope to find
And to save yourself
Another day to die
A thousand times.
Everything becomes the same
As it was before
And you don't want to be
Yourself anymore
An image of your reflection
Pure of your guilt
A castle of your yesterdays
Which from your arms was built
Broken apart
Piece by piece
and shard by shard
As it ceases to be
So does your heart
And now all you have
You can never wish back
Painted in black
All over your conscience
And memories you had
Nothing remains of you
In the ruins you left behind
To save yourself
Another day to die
A thousand times.
Give in to your demons
And chase away your tears
Drown yourself in freedom
With the curse you now bear
Wither again in your words
In the voices you hear
Burn down this world
So you can battle your fear
And Slay monsters those haunt
With the blade you hold
Pick on your veins
As you grow cold
Taste your pain
As you consume yourself whole
In the years you stole
Sometimes clear
Sometimes blind
A hope that you will find
And save yourself
Another day to die
A thousand times.

Sleep my friend,
Fall back to the somber abyss
You're very near the end,
In a moment you'll cease to exist
Don't resist-
The gentle breeze
Soak it in,
And Leave it be
Free.

Dream my friend,
Let them wings strangle you.
Arisen then,
Every dream has to pay its dues.
Windfall kiss the air,
A sweet scent nobody can explain
Let it spread everywhere,
And Consume you now again
In pain.

Now open your eyes,
Clear the skies
Look around yourself,
And ask the reason why
There's something there-
With you,
Something sinister,
A monster you brew.

Demons and angels,
Resting side by side.
In a hollow that lingers,
Across and wide.
So take on your blanket,
And hold yourself tight.
Give in to your despair,
For In dark-
There's no place left to hide.




Are you aware ?
Of loneliness that's stalking,
Mourning on a bed
Not yet ready to sleep.
Do you hear,
The silence talking.
Walking on four legs-
And Ready to feed.

To the same old place,
Where the memories are buried
Smoking a few fragile pieces,
Cross armed and worried
Inhaling what's left of-
yesterdays we so long to exhume
From one portion to the other,
Like them travelling sand dunes.
Awaiting our monsoon
And begging the season to change,
Spinning on the axis,
So our alignment will rearrange.
Spiralling down the clockwork,
Arms heed no resistance.
Searching for a rose in the dirt,
Thorns make no difference.
Building self in a mask,
And being someone else.
Dealing your cards in,
Everything you've always felt.
Icicles hanging by a thread,
Ready to impale your thoughts.
And all the voices in your head,
Is all the noise that you've got.
Before you take a leap,
Count all the years you've lost.
And after you leave,
Make sure that the doors are locked.
So long before we evolve,
In the image we claim to be.
And painting upon the canvas,
With colours we still don't see.
Embarking on a journey,
Sailing past the vast sea-
And into a timid pond,
Watching ourselves breathe free.
Now the walls make all windows,
And the sky is clear blue.
You can see a bird fly high,
But so far and in-between few.
So take your self and be gone,
Before you have to pay the dues.
For the longer you stare in a mirror,
More it will look like you.

What do you seek now,
The reason of your despair ?
Have you not forgotten since,
The gloom is but in the air.
You don't have to pretend,
The clock will leave a clue.
As when you start to descent,
Are You sure that it's not you ?
Dark will fill the empty space,
A locked chest inside your heart.
And now you won't recall a face,
For the mirror is in a hundred path.
One maze drawn to hide the sickness,
A walk lost in labyrinth of wilderness.
Shadows ripe with words of forgiveness
As then the wolf howls of its loneliness.
Left behind on a stream so cold,
Drowning in the endless abyss of faith.
More memories than one can hold,
Churned about by the hands of fate.
Resting on a web of uncertain lies,
The fuel is all but set to ignite.
To glow like the scars in the sky,
In beginning possibilities are infinite.
Now all is lost without a trace,
And Invisible lines feed the trail.
Maybe its time to find another place,
All that shines is not always frail.
So take your sword and take your page,
Climb the peak which has no stairs.
A bridge is not meant to wait,
And sometimes tears don't feel fair.
Every layer seeping back within,
Into the stone walls crumbling down.
While those sleeping dreams sing,
To the lost dreamer to come around.
And there a fool is awoken,
Measuring a drop by the sea.
Feeling his words were unspoken,
In a similar fashion said he.
Has your conquest come to an end,
Or do you still seek your despair.
Why do you seek your end my friend,
All you need is some fresh air.

The thunder-lord had forsaken no soul today,
And the wet sand was retaining every step being put forth.
As the army of a hundred and thousand descended from far away,
He stood on the watch tower, keeping an eye on all; the wise lord.
His men by his side, drenched as he- but nonetheless not afraid,
They have heard the stories of these marching men.
A black smoke devouring all as far as one could see, they said-
And many kingdoms those have fed them, but the hunger would never end.


The queen sat by the ailing sunlight, sunset never seen more red,
Morbid thoughts wrecking havoc on her fragile mind.
How many more must perish and what more was to be bled,
So let it be - with monsters and beasts now a king must dine.
She thought, what a crime.

The weather grew colder as the sun hid behind the ashen'd hills,
And a master sat upon a throne carried by ten men.
The forest was growing thick and there was a silenced shrill,
And walls of a kingdom was coming to them.
There he laid his eyes upon an another tale,
Like so many others, he mustn't let them stand his path.
His eyes red as blood and skin full of scars and pale,
He had the blood of his ancestors gushing through his heart.
He was no king- he was a master and a master has no kingdom, only slaves.
Despaired as far as the words can reach, he was but a demi-god.
His conquest to conquer all and make world his cage,
Now the only one standing by his side, the lone lord.

His eyes grew weary- as he watched, the men in black march,
A blacksmith he was, standing tall- with a bow by the king.
Looking beyond barely, he was awaiting the dark,
When the moon will hover and the owls will sing.
For a thousand years they had made this place their home,
In an overgrowth of wild ashen'd oak, in shadows.
Where no one dared to cross their path of stone,
In rivers those run red at night and where corpses lay afloat.
But he knew his king and he knew the curse they all consumed,
Only the lord of sun had the power to crush their walls,
'tis the land of their old, a charm in its cold and gloom,
He stood weak but awake, for here cometh the nightfall.


The march came to halt as the last rays kissed the air,
Outside the walls, they stood bare- prying behind the curtains.
Now it was all but clear- a hundred thousand men were here,
As them walls now glowed in the burning lanterns.
Thought he- the master of all, how could it be,
The kingdom in the dark had stood for a thousand years.
How many more like him had ventured beyond the haunted sea,
But all there was to this place, were tales of fear.
They said the king was no mere mortal,
But a nightmare- wicked and wise, cruel when he must be.
He had heard of the stories- these walls harboured a portal,
A place of vanquish for all those who dared to claim their land and trees.


He stood up and in almost a growl he said,

" bow before me, oh the mighty- and
you shall be spared my wrath "

His eyes red and cold and his fist around his sword, he prayed,

" for ye' men, women and children- a
warning and a last "

The king whispered with ice in his voice and rage in his heart,

" for a thousand years we have lived and will for a thousand more "

And clouds hungover and huge shadows they did cast,

" what of the men who stood before you- did ye' not hear the lores ?"

The clouds began to disperse as the moonlight kissed the air,

" I have heard of them, he said, but
only a child will ever believe them "

He said loud enough so every last man could hear,

" enough of your words, now your age
will come to an end "


And then he smiled- the lone king, he whispered

" men might claim evil, but they can
never devour monsters "

His eyes grew darker as the thirst for blood lingered,

" ye' don't have a clue, who we must
be- oh my master "

The pale master drew his sword and screamed from beyond,

" ye' dare humiliate me, so be it, oh my
lone king- none shall survive after "

The lone king drew his breath and teeth - like in a trance, a song,

" Oh fool, ye' still can't feel-
nevertheless, I'm no lone king,
my name is Dracula, my master ".




And like they did, for a thousand years- the river ran red after the feast.

Here we are again
Forgotten how we were made
Somewhere lies our pain
Tomorrow too far to escape

Would you still seek me
If I told you about my stains
Remembering how it all used to be
Nothing ever remains the same
Something's hiding behind your stare
And I keep forgetting your name
All I have left is your beautiful face
And a promise to hold you again
How wide is the scar on your lips
Would you ever smile again
You have bought and sold me
Now I am all yours to claim

Come hold me once again
Take me away from myself
Every breath still feels so strange
Losing everything I've ever felt
Your memories are so far
Trying to reach through the scars
There's no one left to feed me
We have consumed all we are
Clawed our way through the sky
Drank ourselves all the rain
And you never turned to ask why,
Why the season never changed.

Claim me and make me
The image you want to see
Bury me in your colour
And set me free
I have all you ever wished to be
All the love you want to keep
Take my heart and drink the sea
And let me bleed
Bleed away all the pain you see
We'll never ever be free
Not when the door is open
And it's so much more hard to leave

Something is eating me alive
And I have no one to blame
Nothing to give you but myself
So eat me and free me-
From these chains.

This cage tastes ever so sweet
Haunt me like you always did
Come back and want me again,
And break me in pieces
Burn me to ashes and feed on it.

So consumed by our own curse
We let the magic die
Swallowed the pills of hurt
And bade our good-byes
Our tears bleed no more
Now there's nothing in your eyes
Whatever this tale was worth for
You made a fool of me-
And a clown never lies.

Seems like this journey won't end,
And I would keep walking in a circle.
Sometimes I like to pretend-
I'm invisible,
And all I speak is in whispers.
The summer calls me,
As I await my pardon.
I was told I could be-
Whatever I wish to be,
And life has just begun.
How slowly the memories fade,
And we want an escape.
I always feel I was there before,
In the yesterday,
Now I see that place no more.
And what are the miles worth for,
When you can't find your way back.



A clock painted in black,
Stares at me-
Begs me to find my own.
To give up all I have,
And find me-
A way back home.



As I breathe and consume,
More I lose who I am.
I watch the sand slipping away,
From where I stand.
Been so long,
And I haven't said it all.
Waiting for a door to open,
I keep staring at the walls.
I wish I knew how to fly,
Before it was my turn to fall.
And no one can hear my tears,
No matter how much I call.
Never got the chance to apologize,
I wish I knew to be better.
Still remember those eyes,
It's been so long since I met her.
When was this tomorrow,
That promised me my belonging.
Nothing remains of my story,
And I keep walking.



A clock painted in black,
Stares at me-
Begs me to find my own.
To give up all I have,
And find me-
A way back home.




Everything has changed,
And that season will never return.
Been through so many rains,
Now my eyes are hurt by the sun.
I crave a storm that blurs,
And intoxicates me with more lies.
I had so many chances,
But I could never say a good -bye.
Their longing still howls,
And it get's a little dark in my ruins.
Never knew how to taste the night,
Now I chase the moon.
Silence haunts me evermore,
And I struggle to shut everything out.
Shards and pieces circling me,
Scarring me as I burn and shout.
Comfort of the old arms,
Make me realize how cold the world is.
How is he doing,
I've forgotten the face of his.
Slipping back in the lost time,
I close my eyes as I touch the ground.
I can be who ever I want to be,
No one is around.


As I take a step back,
I realize-
I've never been so alone.
As i remember what I had,
My eyes-
Search for way back home.

A clock painted in black,
Stares at me-
Begs me to find my own.
To give up all I have,
And find me-
A way back home.

Never knew how to pretend,
But I know I've been living a lie.
So many words I ate and buried,
Not sure if I am even alive.
All that remains in the mirror,
Is all I ever wanted to be.
This stranger that stares back at me,
Made me blind and I couldn't see.
There's so much more to me,
But I am so afraid to let it out.
Something's wrong and I can feel it,
But I'm not sure what's it all about.
And they ask me to tell my tale,
Wish I had an answer to that.
There are nothing but empty miles,
Whenever I turn and look back.


As I sit alone,
The day blurs in night again
Everyone is gone,
And I await the pain again.

Faces that weren't real,
Now make me see my own.
I think it's about time I hear,
A song that makes me feel alone



I fell in love and it was real,
Though I wouldn't fall again.
It's isn't something I want to feel,
Too much poison in my veins.
I remember the time once in a while,
when she was more than a name.
Now all that is left is broken,
I know it wouldn't feel the same again.
How young I must've been to think,
That this world would never change.
If I had known my fate before,
I would've never let go of the chains.
They still ask me what I left behind,
But I know I'm too lost to remember.
I took everything that could remind,
And fed it to the burnt ember.



As I sit alone,
The day blurs in night again
Everyone is gone,
And I await the pain again.

Faces that weren't real,
Now make me see my own.
I think it's about time I hear,
A song that makes me feel alone


I wish I had more to offer,
But I have nothing else to give.
I know that life is beautiful,
But I have lost my will to live.
I've felt everything there's to feel,
And I've never been so empty inside.
These walls don't let me breathe,
And I am far too tired to hide.
I fall asleep wishing to never wake,
Mourning as if I have died.
But the morning never fails me,
I know truth always triumphs the lie.
I hope death isn't an end,
But I don't care about it no more.
All I want is to fall asleep,
There's nothing for me here anymore.


As I sit alone,
The day blurs in night again
Everyone is gone,
And I await the pain again.

Faces that weren't real,
Now make me see my own.
I think it's about time I hear,
A song that makes me feel alone


As I watch the night fall,
I know the birds will sing again.

In chaos you can hear-
The silence you never heard,
Lay down your sword,
And let it be gone like a bird.
For the lessons were plenty,
But you were too blind to learn.
Kept your eyes ever closed,
In a hope that fire wouldn't burn.
Now the ashes howl again-
For them bones have turned to dust.
And you kept asking that silence,
But it never spoke a word.
Fed your dreams to the merchant
-it was getting hard to fall asleep.
Watched them be sold and disappear,
And told yourself-
They were too many to keep.
So the heart went barren,
Every scar ceased to bleed.
The mourners began to disperse,
And the ghosts began to leave.
There you saw the silence,
Left behind by trail of the departed.
And you stood alone in the misery
-in dark so comfortable and guarded.
None to hear you wither,
And none to see you drown.
There is nobody out there for you,
No matter-
How much you turn around.
The skeleton has but perished,
Nothing remains buried inside
The key to the depth is lost,
And the door is open too wide.
Rotten carcass lays beneath-
All the layers that were yet to hide.
And the sun never holds the dead,
So the dirt was taken by the night.
And there beyond the wilderness-
In the meadows it was sowed.
Along the edge of the shadows,
Where the river of blood flowed.
And there it was made,
One tree bearing the fruit of despair.
The roots have but spread,
Along the veins and everywhere.
And then you taste the reaping,
Sweeter than any of your lies.
In the noise of the silence,
You bid your final good-bye.
A reflection tears past the surface,
And then you close your eyes.
In mirror echoes the silence,
As you watch yourself slowly die.

I saw death so close,
It was hard to close my eyes.
needles poked holes in the rose,
And he kept crying till he died.

I caught them sleeping-
Laid on a grave far too young.
I could hear a mother weeping,
For the dead daughters and sons.

Some had eyes to the sky,
Others were dreaming in a coffin.
But the reaper wore a smile,
Hands raised in a mocking.

An abyss was made in this sea,
As the reaper kept on walking.
I thought I heard something,
Then I saw the ashes falling.

Sometimes a road leads nowhere,
And you get too lost to be found.
I heard them one last time
then I saw children falling down.

Shattered windows were all around,
But in darkness there's no light.
And no truth is enough-
For the holy thief who lies.

A thousand people came,
All along waiting for this night.
But was it worth an end,
To a beginning that might unite.




And then I heard the screams,
Oh, the howl of horror and fear.
But the crying stopped in a blur,
For scars had swallowed all tears.

Winds brought me the noise,
Of mayhem and doom.
Drowning the voices,
That were yet to bloom.

So I fell on my knees,
Awaiting the fate of my faith.
And then I saw the reaper,
He had a very similar face.

Though his eyes were cold,
Dark as the depth of the sea.
Even though he was a monster,
He seemed very human to me.



Blood for blood,
I heard him whisper.
A Blasphemous philosophy,
And a reality that withers.

The violence fell silent,
As the shadow came nearer.
I searched for a place to hide,
But all that was left was a mirror.

So I hid behind his reflection,
As his image grew weaker.
And all the ghost could see-
Was a God in the mirror.

The entrapment worked like a charm,
And the wall caved in on Mr Cane.
He had but a moment to consider,
Had no umbrella to shield from rain.

The weather was but at the horizon,
And sun hasn't been so sane.
There is no thought left to ponder,
For the facts never do change.

Circling the theory of madness,
The colors were fading to black.
What brains have you said he,
There are no footsteps to go back.

Talking to self he wondered,
If two of him would suffice
So he made how the mirror looks,
And then the reflection came alive.

Mr Cane saw in the mirror,
Saw two more than he wished to see.
There were eight of them now,
Nothing is as it's supposed to be.

So he sat through the ruins,
Saw himself disappear one by one.
Two will be enough Mr crane,
That's enough company for someone.

Back to two down from six,
Ladder keeps adding more steps.
So Mr crane climbed over,
And left behind a bit of himself.

The sky was cold,
And the ocean was blue.
Now Mr crane was out,
So the stars had to pay their due.

Within lies the outside,
Said them stars in one breath.
And the biggest of them all,
Laid a crown at his chest.

His heart was made a king,
And the mind was made a slave.
Those eyes that had been dreaming,
Now were wide awake.

He could hear the flowers sing,
A song of thunder and haze.
His eyes crept in closer,
Mr Crane thought he saw a face.

The smile was yet to give birth,
But the swelled eyes had over-grown.
A very peculiar creature he said,
Unlike any other he had ever known.

He soon multiplied in an enemy,
Mr Crane was now afraid.
This lawn said he again,
Should have never been made.

For the trees work like charms,
In the glittering reflection of steel.
Concrete is the slab of foundation,
In this forest that was never real.

The weather was turning warm,
And he had but some walls to scale.
So he threw a rope over the walls,
Lay me a bridge he said.

The entrapment worked like a charm,
And the wall caved in on Mr Cane.
He had but a moment to consider,
Had no umbrella to shield from rain.

I saw death so close,
It was hard to close my eyes.
needles poked holes in the rose,
And he kept crying till he died.

I caught them sleeping-
Laid on a grave far too young.
I could hear a mother weeping,
For the dead daughters and sons.

Some had eyes to the sky,
Others were dreaming in a coffin.
But the reaper wore a smile,
Hands raised in a mocking.

An abyss was made in this sea,
As the reaper kept on walking.
I thought I heard something,
Then I saw the ashes falling.

Sometimes a road leads nowhere,
And you get too lost to be found.
I heard them one last time
then I saw children falling down.

Shattered windows were all around,
But in darkness there's no light.
And no truth is enough-
For the holy thief who lies.

A thousand people came,
All along waiting for this night.
But was it worth an end,
To a beginning that might unite.




And then I heard the screams,
Oh, the howl of horror and fear.
But the crying stopped in a blur,
For scars had swallowed all tears.

Winds brought me the noise,
Of mayhem and doom.
Drowning the voices,
That were yet to bloom.

So I fell on my knees,
Awaiting the fate of my faith.
And then I saw the reaper,
He had a very similar face.

Though his eyes were cold,
Dark as the depth of the sea.
Even though he was a monster,
He seemed very human to me.



Blood for blood,
I heard him whisper.
A Blasphemous philosophy,
And a reality that withers.

The violence fell silent,
As the shadow came nearer.
I searched for a place to hide,
But all that was left was a mirror.

So I hid behind his reflection,
As his image grew weaker.
And all the ghost could see-
Was a God in the mirror.

Remember who we were,
I know it has been so long.
Take my memories with you
And I might come along.
So many miles to walk back on,
Even the smiles will haunt.
Wish I could tell you-
There's so much more to this life,
Than just our needs and wants.
Hear me for the last time-
All of my rights and wrongs.
Wish I could sing to you-
For every old man has a song.

Yesterday we were young-
Now even tomorrow feels so old.
Left so much unseen and unheard,
Now there's nothing left but-
An incomplete tale to be told.
I still can't remember your face,
So much to accept and be-hold.
How is that you're still so beautiful,
Even after watching so many springs-
Die and be cold.
Do they ever remind you of us,
Back when we were whole.
Wish you could tell me then-
That love is meant to die for.

When does it all change,
An old man has not a clue.
And the time never waits,
We all have to pay our dues.
From the summer mornings-
To the winter blues.
The moments-
Are so far and inbetween,
In our hearts and few.
There's not much left within-
To hang onto something new
And even when it lay all around me,
All that mattered was you.

When the darkness held me-
I heard myself whisper your name.
Your face was all I could see-
And I knew I was in love again.
Like I've always been,
I felt the same.
An old mans dream-
To be young once again.
Like the last page of a book,
That wants to be read once again.
Only without the questions
And the answers-
I wish I could've changed.
And when I'm gone-
I'll know deep in my heart,
That a story remains.


Embrace me for who I am
And what I am,
Will be yours to keep.
I wish I could make you understand,
When I'm gone -
There's no need to weep.
Look at me like you always did,
For I'm just falling asleep.
Kiss me for I'll need it,
Before you leave.

Love me O' love me
And I would happily be alone
Kiss me O' kiss me
And I might find my home.

Tim wasn't the only one infected,
But he was the only one who wasn't turning into a duck.
It had been more than two years of horror,
And almost every part of the world had been struck.

This new disease was carried through the shiny electronic devices,
That had gripped the world in a photogenic way.
Every wall and post reeked of the self centeredness,
And all that led to this last man standing scenario today.

Tim was resisting his fate by throwing away all the devices he could find,
But his hope was slowly degrading, as they were scattered everywhere.
He was experiencing what scientists called as a celebrity syndrome,
The last stage before he would give in, it was almost too hard to bear.

His soul was being crushed within his hundred dollar shirt,
But he was far more inclined to break the mirror in front of his eyes.
The disease was spreading through his arms and hands now,
And in sometime there would be no place left to hide.

Everyone at his school had turned into a duck the other day,
He had seen it from his own eyes, as all his friends got stuck on the web.
Scientists were baffled how it spread impervious of one's religion or faith,
They said the only part recognizable after the infection spreads is the head.

He found his moms name last night too, posted on the wall of lost people.
Tim could only rub his eyes, she was only fifty -five.
He had no clue of what to do, he was already feeling so miserable,
His father had already died, lost sister at twenty-five.

Tim was growing restless by the second, wrestling with his own arms,
But it was too much to handle and finally his hands got free,
He flashed the electronic device at the mirror, it felt warm,
And that's how Tim became the last casualty on earth to catch a selfie.

I see you through the stained walls of my home,
Your window is open
And my heart is beating way too fast.
I can sit back and enjoy now that I'm all alone
My heart would be broken
But I don't care no more for it won't last.
John just left a few minutes ago-
And I gave him what I had.
I never told you how beautiful you are,
But you are amazing, my love,
Those are some nice **** you have.
Now I'm ready for the show,
Oh, and-
I love the tattoo on your back.
Such a fine lady,
It must be so hard when he leaves you alone,
Sometimes I think about it,
And the other day I broke into your home.
I didn't take anything,
God, I'm not a pervert
But I remember that feeling-
It changed everything,
I saw how beautiful your life is-
And I admit, It hurts.
I watch you as you stare in the mirror,
Displeased the way it makes you feel
I remember that scar he gave you,
Guess, some scars do never heal.
Sometimes I dream about you and me,
Try to plot some ways I can steal your heart,
You have no clue how shallow you've made me,
Without you I might break apart.
I stalked you once,
followed you to the park where you take your kids,
I hope you realise,
All of the neighbourhood comes out to have a look at your ****.
I even fought one of those creeps,
Remember how he abused you your way home ?
I found him late one night in the street,
And bashed his skull open when he was alone.
I even gave my candy to your little angel,
She has your eyes
I wish we could be more than just strangers,
I need you Mary, I won't lie.
I can't sleep without you,
And the pills only make me feel more miserable
John told me I need a doctor,
I'm getting more unstable.
But he has never fallen in love,
Has never felt the way I feel for you
I know you won't understand
But I know deep inside you love me too.


I watch him as he slits your throat,
I admit, I've never seen something more beautiful than this.

Wish I could be the one caressing your throat,
Licking all that blood as it trickles down your ****.

Only if you would've chosen me instead of him,
God knows you could have been so happy and alive.

Now John is my friend and I care for him,
But... " HEY, JOHN! KEEP YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF FROM THE **** OF MY WIFE ".

"mommy, where is daddy?"
- he's gone far away and will never return
"where did he go mommy"
- to the other side of the sun

* little Jessica
(oh that's really far)
*mommy
(bless her little heart)

" mommy, but tim told me he died"
- now, now you're too small to know
" but i'm too big for your lies"
-I guess you ought to know
" how did he die, mommy?"
- well, you know how he was
" he was really nice to me"
- well, thats not how he was
"how was he mommy"
- he was a bad person
" no, he was nice mommy"
-remember how he used his gun
" he let me try it too"
- oh, when Jessica ?!
"he told me not to tell you"
- but you must, Jessica!
"alright, but I want a candy"
-ok, Jessica
" and an ice-cream too"
- anything you want, Jessica!
" I want a pretty dress"
- you're crossing your limit
" other one is so old"
- but you still fit in it


*little Jessica
( i'm hungry )
*mother
(I hope theres nothing to worry)

"mommy i'm hungry"
- first tell me, what did daddy made you do
" he told me to aim and shoot"
- and did you ?!
"yeah, but I missed"
- aim at what ?!
"he told me not to tell you"
- why not ?!
" well he said it'll be our secret"
- you can tell mommy, dear
" what if he gets angry"
- DADDY IS DEAD, HE WON'T HEAR
" jeez, calm down"
- tell me what did you do
" first get me a gun"
" i'll show you"
- no, you can't have it
" than I won't tell you "
- alright, danm it !

*little Jessica
( i'm really hungry, danm!)
*mother
( he was such an evil man )

" give it to me "
- Please, be careful !
" just watch me "
- thats the trigger, don't pull
"jeez, mommy relax "
- it's all so wrong
" do you want it back?"
- I have to be strong
" so, he told me to hold it"
" and to be steady "
- don't aim at me
" woah, thats what he said to me"
" why are you so sweaty"
- Jessica , put it down
" why mommy, daddy's not around"
- give it to me now
" i don't like the way you sound"
- don't force me
" you can't, it has a live round "
- Jessica, get away from me
" than he begged for his life "
- don't come near me
" he told me to walk by his side "
- Please, don't do this
" and than I laughed because I thought he was funny "
- its not funny, get rid of it
" don't worry, i'm better now it'll be quick mommy"


*little Jessica
( i'm really really hungry)

Those who die in vengeance,
Rest in a grave full of sins.
As when the rain falls down,
They behold the storm deep within.


.
.
.
.


He made his way through that storm,
This man that was born in the dark.
His eyes reflected the rage he owed,
To his maker, with death in his heart.

Walking upon a cursed night,
He was bless'd in all of his rage.
Arms reaching out for the blade,
As he whispered-
the war he was about to wage.



" come out, come out-
wherever thou are."

" thou shall not hide,
for I smell you're not that far. "



His words burned through the air,
And in a moment-
The fire in his heart was everywhere.
And now his glory was inching near.

Through the silenced awakening,
In the morbid beginning-
One could hear.
The end was near.



" come out of your grave,
every corpse that was ever born. "

" we'll feast like brothers and sisters,
after consuming his heart and throne. "

" nothing to fear now, hear-
we'll avenge ourselves at his home. "

" bring down the sky tonight,
in his ashes all will be re-born. "




The ground began to break-
Beneath his feet.
And the sky was full of fear,
As His tears began to bleed.

And from the deepest pit,
A crowd emerged to feed.
At last, there will be blood,
And all will be freed.



" come ye' all,
let's fight this-
curs'd being together. "

" bring down the walls,
so they'll lie in ruins forever. "


The mob of hatred and vengeance,
Made their way through the wall.
Into the castle of the mighty king,
Tonight, his kingdom would fall.

Consumed in their despair and creed,
Tonight, they'll consume one and all.
As they made their way through,
The man found himself in the hall.

In the farthest corner,
He saw the empty throne.
Screams were igniting the blood-shed,
But for now, he was but alone.


" where thou at,
oh the lord of all. "

" 'tis your end'th hour,
soon thee would fall. "


He Waited for a voice to beg,
But there wasn't a single sound.
His grin was furious, eyes red,
But there wasn't a soul around.



" come, show your face,
so I can plunge this blade in ye' heart. "

" I swear thy name,
this moment is your last. "



He heard a whispers birth,
From the depth of the distant dark.
An old being, older than anything,
Came before his eyes at last.

The face was scarred and cold,
His eyes reflected the wisdom's age.
In his presence, one heard a melody,
That no being could ever make.

He walked ever so slow,
His hands clutching his crown.
Brighter than the sun-shine,
But there was only darkness all around.


The man closed his eyes,
And his vengeance began to wither.
The king lifted his head,
He whispered.



" O' my son,
I rule your every breath. "

" you hold a gun,
yet I don't command your head. "

" I am thou sun,
awaking you from thy bed. "

" but thou sleep not,
and I leave you be-
in the tears you shed. "


" and then thou blame thee,
for the dreams you loose. "


" I am not your hands,
that tie the noose. "


" thou be my love,
but thy love never conquered-
tears I bled. "

" if 'tis what you seek,
I pray you dead. "



And with those words,
The man was ripped-
In a thousand Pieces apart.
At the ashn'd floor,
There was no trace of his heart.

A river of blood flowed through-
The castle gates.
As it hath flowed,
From the time thee was made.

The ashes made love in the air,
Like a sombre winters dream.
And screeching through the silence,
One could hear a thousand screams.

The king laid the crown on the throne,
He was everything ever made,
But never more alone.


The rain befell the land below,
As them tears left his eyes.
There was no one but he-
In the lonely kingdom in the sky.

Ma'am, why did titanic sink ?
- they said even god can't sink it,
What happened?


First of all,
How dare you show your skin,
Do you want them to see-
Everything that's within,
Don't you know,
It's a blasphemous sin-
To say you don't agree
And that too with a grin ?
How dare you say what you want,
You talk about freedom-
One day it'll devour you,
Strangle you and haunt.
This book will decide your liberty
- dare you taunt.

When the night is upon us,
Who would you run to.
Come, even though it's dark-
And nobody can see nothing,
These words will save you.
Save you from what you ask ?
Ah, another question at last
Don't you know,
You need to have it in your heart,
Or else, it won't save you
-as the darkness rips you apart.

We are all his children,
Never her.
He's your father-
Meh, forget about our mother.
She's probably dead or something,
She ate the apple or something,
Stop asking questions,
Even the book doesn't know everything.


No,
I meant it knows all-
you'll ever need to know.
Science is magic,
Didn't you know.
You can be blessed too,
If you can stare at the wall
Hard and long,
Fold your hands and bend your knees,
No, you idiotic being
-not for a *******
But to see the unseen
And hear the unheard
Master of everything
And the shepherd of the herd.


Freewill is his gift,
We choose to decide our own.
'tis is his kingdom
And 'tis our home.
Even at the darkest night,
He'll never leave you alone.
But if you don't pray enough,
Believe enough,
Go to a temple enough,
Do a million things enough,
He'll send you to hell.
That's his one and only-
Requirement for you,
He do wishes you well,
But you see it's not democracy,
It's like a king and a kingdom-
Sort of like a monarchy.
We'll be at each others throat,
Human banality,
He made us for god knows what
-but he loves us all the same,
So don't take his name in vain.
The black, the brown, the yellow,
The white a little more,
See, he's so fair.
- well everyone has their favorites
Why deny him his share ?


The point is,
Do what you're told
Or he'll extinguish the fire
And you'll be cold.
He'll give you a blanket instead,
Oh, he loves that drama
And don't you dare believe in,
Something called karma.
It's all his creation,
The mountains and the lake.
And you'll find every word of his,
In this book-
Everything he ever said.
Yes, we did note it down
- to be honest,
We borrowed some from around.
You see,
He had an accent,
A little southern and down.
So, we brushed over those parts-
We didn't understand,
With other stuff we found.
But, you mustn't-
Disrespect him in anyway,
Here take this book,
It says-
Million ways on how-
Not to disrespect the one almighty.
Alrighty,
Don't take this lightly,
Hold onto this tightly
And the sun tomorrow-
Will shine again ever so brightly.


Yes, he teaches us to love
But you should hate
- who don't believe in him
Or believe in something else,
That's not him.
He is one and only,
You'll never be lonely
-with him.
Every dark night,
Won't be as grim
And every river
Will flow for you till the brim,
Your lover will give you,
The biggest shiniest ring.
The birds will talk human,
Dance and sing.
There'll be plenty wine to drink,
And when you'll be drunk,
You'll understand why-
Titanic did sink,
Because it didn't believe in him.

It's four in the morning,
And my eyes are still open so wide.
A pen shivering in my hands,
Waiting for me to breathe into it-
Some Life.
I wonder where my sleep is
-Does it ever miss me too ?
I ponder over it like a mad-man,
Such a trivial thought,
But it paints me my blues.
There's nothing but silence-
Or maybe,
Silence and nothing.
Which way does the road leads ?
-A dark descent in madness.
Would I bleed emptiness,
If nothing is left inside.
Would silence prevail my screams,
And it would seem I am alive-
From the outside.
Is there a way to feed on the silence,
If not-
Would I be hungry forever ?
I seek solitude in disguise,
Served in solace-
With a hint of serenity together.
Moon-light is the preferred sauce,
And I don't feed unless-
I have no cause.
The clause clearly states that-
Dark clouds may hamper the supper,
But I had one the other night-
And the moon disappeared.
Would it be still here, somewhere ?
Can it hear me,
With all the dreams it bears.
So many souls lost in peace,
A buffet of tales,
For it to feed upon.
But I am sure,
It must feel alone-
For we haven't seen each other,
In a while.
It's so exhausting to walk so many miles.
Only to find scars and a barren land,
I hope someday I would understand,
Why I see a man-
When I stare in the night sky.
Is it a trick of the eye,
Magic ?
As they say.
Delusional fusion of illusion,
Escalation of my confusion-
If the man wears the crown of scars,
Or if those scars wear the man.
Is it not tempting-
To be so close with the stars,
In reach of his hands.
Do they kiss his skin,
Whenever he stands.
Or do they disperse in star-dust,
With dusk,
As if he's waving a magic wand.
I wonder if the earth can still find him,
Even if the eyes don't seek him no more,
I remember before,
Every-night he would sing a lore.
The time swept the tides,
And now I see no moon-light.
Only street-lights grace this oasis -
Made of star-dust,
But a heaven no more.
Pillars of concrete emotions,
Rise through the air.
Who ate the sky, I wonder,
I see no sign of it anywhere.
My world isn't big enough,
But how big really is life ?
Would I deserve my answer,
If I walk through it alive ?
Or is the question too fragile,
Dangling by a noose of faith,
My fate, isn't mine at all-
So how am I a master,
Of the journey to be made.
Would not the reflection,
Touch the mirror and break.
The pieces lost forever,
Even though the time won't wait.
A curious curiosity of reality,
Side effects abundant-
But can be cured easily,
By a daily dose of fantasy.
Though it can alter mentality,
Patient won't suffer from duality.
Fantastical whimsical array of-
Spectacular rectangular view,
Drawn in circles,
In three dimensional fashion.
A factional directional window-
For rational,
Though the mind would-
Serve thy passion.
Only if they understood,
A name isn't what's true.
An essential equation of reasons,
As seasons change hue.
My ink is due,
But the words still scan the page.
Every moment is grow,
With All these memories I age.
Won't the world sing me a song,
It promised when I was born.
Heavy and sinking,
With all the past I have borne.
It's not five in the morning,
But it feels so close.
I left my dreams to die, again-
And yet, I feel no remorse.
The barren wings lift the sky,
Enough to keep me awake.
The eyes keep begging for more,
And tears have yet to make a lake.
The mighty must have lied,
There so no philosophy here to learn.
All that is, will be gone,
His chosen gift ever-ready to burn.
And the angels have all but died,
Mighty bridge of darkness,
Burned all through the other side.
No more trips to the dark corners,
Only four walls and no trees to oblige.
how would I ever taste the fruit now,
Will the leaves still kiss my feet ?
I miss the meadows of naked -
Whispers,
As they wither,
For the hours that cut inside deep.
No more ashes left to keep,
As the sun now consumes our all.
Taking with itself,
As it falls,
The last ray of hope too.
Wish the men had known,
Diamonds grow in the sky.
To be cultivated and grown,
Till they cover all of our eye.
That's where the dreams are gone,
And that's where the moon hides.
Behind the haze,
That litters the horizon-
Is where the universe resides.

Scream and shout
Tell me all about
How you hate my face
Why i'm such a disgrace
Pull in a crowd
Mock me all around
Tell me how ugly I am
Nothing but waste
Whisper 'em lullabies
Let them be at rest
Out and down going insane
Lest they forget
My name
Throw 'em stones at me
Let me be hurt
Watch the way I suffer
You be the judge
Tie me in chains of pain
Hot enough to burn my flesh
Ashened black like my heart is
Beat me up so I can't fight it
Break my bones and shake my faith
Bleed me of love to inspire hate
Lets play a game of
'how much more can he take'
And do it all over again
'cause just too much is at stake
Take a right and prove me wrong
Laugh at me and tell me i'm strong
Lose patience 'cause I just wont cry
Strangle me but just enough
That I wont die
'cause death is too easy for my sins
Sin being ugly and unwanted
You say with a heart warming grin
Oh child , can't you see
What morrow may bring ?




when the last drop has drained
There'll be no more pain
I'll be numb and cold
With poison flowing through my veins
When the stones are lost
and my flesh becomes the chains
By wrath of the gods
I'll be a monster again
I'll be the rage you tamed
And an enemy you gained
When all the love is lost
And my flesh becomes the chains
By wrath of satan
I'll be angry again

I sat ever so silently,
Not a whisper escaping my soul.
What's true-
Might not always be reality,
Nothing is ever built whole.
I watched the birds fly,
All across the deep azure-
Of the sky,
Circling in depth of my eyes-
And then I realized,
I was staring at an ocean.

Live in the moment
build walls around it
call it your home
'cause you're gonna miss it
when its gone

take a picture
hang it on the wall
so there's somewhere you can go
when you've lost it all

keep it in your heart
a place no one can touch
'cause you know when its gone
you're 'gonna miss it very much

it may never come back
so make it your dream
so when there's a lonely night
you have a place to be

live in the moment
build walls around it
call it your home
'cause you're gonna miss it
when its gone
maybe you don't want to believe
that you will be strong
but say what you want
you're gonna miss it when its gone

Sometimes it feels-
All I do,
Is paint over the scars.
In silence I conceal,
What's real,
And who we are.
So, Here's to the wounds-
That won't heal,
As I steal-
Words that'll be my last.
From the grave of my dreams,
That I've seen-
Behind an ashen'd mask.
As ash kiss the air-
It's everywhere,
Like a drifting boat-
With no mast.
Standing on the edge,
Of what I see,
Of what is-
Miles ahead and in past.
Reflections of what was,
When I was found,
And how I got lost.
Made and left to rot,
In the glory I did bask.
As the hour slips away,
A question remains-
I never remembered to ask.
And then I realize,
As I close my eyes-
I was never meant to last.

NOTE: this is a surreal story I'm attempting to write in a disguise of a children's tale but progressively with a darker undertone to it, I want to create a magical but yet confusion world where things don't make sense and then try to decode it, I'm afraid I might lose interest once again if I don't get the motivation, inspiration and right amount of critics to guide me, thank you. ( beginnings are always boring but keep your eyes open)

'THE SOMEWHERE LAND'


{ prologue }

Mister Simons was an old man of eighty four,
A very peculiar personality-
Hung his own impending obituary by the blue door.
He was having these visions lately;
A fat man beating him with his own cane outside the local store,
He wondered if it was merely a dream or if that had happened before.
Quiet frankly, he didn't remember much about his past anymore.
It's fair to say it happens to most of us when we grow old.
He lived at the end of the street,
By a house that was burned to the ground when he was only four.
Some say it is haunted,
Others say ghosts don't exist in the age of modern science anymore.
Whatever the case is-
It's clear that mister Simons never had any problem with his neighbor.
Though one time he did complain about someone breaking his mirror-
But that's maybe the work of mischievous kids living down the street.
They always cause trouble for him with many ***** deeds,
That's why mister Simons respectfully filed a case against them-
But lost and could never make them leave.
There is also a rumored dog that lives in his house but no one has heard or seen him in a while.
Some speculate that he has died.
Though, mister Simons is sometimes caught buying dog food at the local grocery store,
The one's who think mister Simons dog is just an old fancy myth say-
It's him for who it is for.
That's a very nasty charge against mister Simons-
But no one can ever dare to ask him.
Only once in the neighborhood history someone tried to approach mister Simons,
But off-course, he didn't let him in.
Mister Simons has a few problems of his own,
A few plants have began to sprout out of his skin.
He has an allergy to flowers,
so he daily shaves them off from within.
Miss molly down the lane is the only one to have ever spoken to him-
And claims she saw him grin.
Some say it was just a trick of light-
Others have a more horrid view and claim she is lying,
And she'll go to hell for this sin.
Mister Simons father built that house around the time he was born,
No one's really sure of who he is because everyone came there after-
A construction company started building homes.
There are stories that unicorns and dinosaurs roamed the land-
They were on a friendly terms with mister Simons,
Since he was the only man-
But the construction company men killed them one by one and it was real ugly.
They said it doesn't makes up for an ideal place to raise a family.
Some say mister Simons retreated in the deepest corner inside of him-
After this tragedy.
Others say it's all a lie and there is no construction company in reality.
Those houses were made by little magical dwarfs,
Who have been cursed by the evil witch to provide comfortable homes to humanity.
She eats their babies if they don't comply with the curse-
So, they'll keep on building and serving humans till eternity.
It's a topic of much debate amongst the residents of this street,
No one is really sure of where the other end of their street leads.
It's barricaded by mister Simons house at one corner,
And the screaming lake at the other end.
The history of the lake is also as much in speculation as mister Simons himself.
Some say it was made by the tears of mister Simons,
As he watched the men slaughter his friends and couldn't help.
Others say it was made by the tears of mister Simons,
When he watched his father die in a drought with a thirst he couldn't quell.
One can hear the screams in the dead of every other night,
It is speculated by some that the screams are of the creatures killed by the men screaming still in fright.
It is very difficult to be precise about who is right,
But one thing is for sure-
The lake makes up for a very beautiful sight.


Chapter: 1 - introduction

[I will be your narrator for the rest of the story,
Guiding you through this wonderful adventure with all of its-
Heart-break and glory.]


--

Everything in somewhere land had always been a little strange as far as I could tell,
The lamp-posts by the streets seemed like they were carved out of trees but weren't exactly wood but something entirely else.
Every house except mister Simons house was a bit too pointy in my opinion and were smaller than the other houses I've ever had been in.
It rained everyday sharply at 3'o clock in the daytime and again 3'o clock in the night-time.
The strangest of all were the residents of this peculiar street,
There were ten houses, four of them on one side and four of them on the other side and then there was mister Simons house at the end of the street right next to the burned haunted house.

Mister Richard and misses Molly lived with their only son svain in the house with the placard no. 1 at the beginning of the street. Mister Richard was big and bulky with black hair and blue eyes, he had a very simple face - the kind you can't recognize when you haven't met that person for a long period of time. He was the manager at the local grocery store and proud owner of a brand new double rocket tractor.
Misses Molly too had black hair and blue eyes, she was even taller than her husband and very pale. She was a very beautiful lady with an aura of sophistication around her but was very polite. Oh.. And she didn't knew how to cook.
Svain was an 12 year old with black hair and blue eyes. he wasn't that tall but was skinny which made him look taller than he was. he always wore red color and was moderately popular in school. Some say it was due to the fact he could eat and swim at the same time, an ability passed down generation to generation in his family.

Grandma frey lived with her dog penny in the house with placard no. 2, she was sixty seven years old but looked even older because of a tragic life in which she had to raise twenty children
- one of her own, two from her husband's marriage before, three of her sister who died with her husband when they both ate the poisonous golden plant at the superficial forest, four more were adopted when she took a trip to afro-icca, five more were adopted from a church in some other part of the world when she came across their 'take-a-child and help-the-lord' campaign. She also raised six of her children's - children but sadly one of them died when it tried to sing and eat at the same time.


Mister and misses Hailey lived in the house with placard no. 3. They were a family of four completed by their son owkwarld and daughter shinying. Owkwarld was fourteen and was speculated to be a bully at the local school, he was big and fat like all the other bullies ever lived and maintained his diet by stolen lunches. He had blonde hair and dark eyes with some freckles around his nose and always wore a cap no matter how windy it was. Shinying was eleven and tiny and cute and caring. She cared for everyone and was ready to help anyone in need. She too had blonde hair and blue eyes but a milky smooth complexion and always wore a smile on her face no matter how windy it could get. She was also a thief when it came to shiny things.


Mister bubbles and misses soapy lived in the house with placard no. 4, they pretty much kept to themselves. They had no social lives as of yet because they had no children and children are must to have a decent social lives in somewhere land unless you are old, dying or out-going and friendly.


Uncle paperazi lived in the house with the placard no. 5, he had white hair and a white beard, he was thin and always wore a black lab coat. He always kept to himself and made things made of paper - like paper beds and paper tables, paper cushions and paper toothbrushes. He couldn't sell a single item all of these years because they came with no guarantee or warranty whatsoever.


Darc and Ulla were the latest residents of the house with placard no. Six, they moved in after the yolo family left after feeling they weren't really important. Darc was tall and Ulla was short, Darc wore a smile and Ulla wore a frown. Darc had a job and Ulla stayed at home. Darc ate the food and Ulla cooked the food. Darc made jokes and Ulla washed the clothes. Darc was a man and Ulla was a woman.


Cofeetea and barcandy moved to the house with placard no. 7 around the time 'Dracula' was released all across the country with much hype and was proved to be a disaster. Cofeetea was sweet and barcandy even sweeter though the excess of them could really make anyone dizzy.


Dhornie - a singleton, lived by herself in the house with placard no. 8 for a long time now, she was a middle-aged twenty nine year old woman who had moved to the street when she was only eighteen to find the one true love of her life, some say she has a crush on Dracula

Things fall in place,
Out of star-dust-
A life takes a face.
In the sudden morn',
A new tale is made;
Past wouldn't be forgotten-
But yet it fades.

It builds from the roots,
Into the branches-
those span the horizon;
weather begins to change,
Seasons bring the age-
And thus begins the erosion.

Though yet it does grows,
Now more than ever.
Ushering into a beautiful flower-
In that moment forever;
For the time never withers,
It stays such-
Always together.

Embracing what there is,
Tested by the years-
In a hurry to depart.
An ocean of every wish,
Of smile and tears-
To be contained in a heart.

Touching what is around,
Sometimes in silence-
But every move makes a sound.
Flying ever so high-
Knowingly,
That one day all must come down
And be spent,
To the ruins it was always bound.

Rusting every winter,
With a hope of a new spring.
To lay claim as own-
Of everything let in.
Changing with every breath,
Only to shed the same skin;
A voice that will be lost-
But never afraid to sing.

The lies won't hide the truth,
Or make the last step-
Disappear.
For as far as you look,
One can see the signs-
Of what was once here.

Though the heart beats,
And the memories still speak-
No matter how much it weeps;
You have to leave.
No matter what you'll keep,
Bury it somewhere deep-
The dark will seep;
And the tale will be freed.

Things will again fall in place,
Journey never forgets a face-
For time always move along.
With all our right and wrong,
No matter how short or long;
Somewhere at the end-
We'll have to finish the song.
At end of the maze,
When done with the chase-
I know I'll be too tired to go on.

Silent memories,
Moments - seasons untold.
Burned thoughts and diaries,
Torment - reasons unfold.
Unspoken remembrance,
An essence-
Forgotten in span of time.
Invincible resistance,
Of all those reasons-
That were once left behind.
How come they never remind,
Of the path we sought-
And we could never find.
Fumes of burned morrow,
Scarring us in our yesterday-
Made us blind.
Of all those wounds-
Some that will never heal,
Where the only ones that did bind.
In depths a story hides,
Where the words lie.
In dark of our conscience,
Invisible to the naked eye.
Whence the whispers howl,
A corpse comes back to life.
Happy days and lonely nights
- speaks of serenity and strife.
In a loop of unbreakable visions,
That haunts every inch of a heart.
To be remembered for the last time
And then again,
Before it slowly falls apart-
And is made once again,
In a different name-
But the same story,
That will never change.
Spring makes way for the winter,
As them past years wither.
Weathered upon by the bleeding-
Voices and a feeling so strange.
In this barren land,
How come it never rained-
Though the dark clouds,
Have always been all across the sky.

24-march-1981

Hey sweetheart, it's been a while and I know you are depressed,
Sometimes it takes some time before you can move on and forget.
I wish I could've been there for you but that's not my only regret,
How is our little girl, do you still sing to her like I did,
Before you put her to bed ?.
I've been busy lately, there's just so much goin' on inside my head,
It's been so hard and I've been so stressed lately that sometimes--
I even forget to take a breath.
The time is ugly and I miss your pretty face whenever anger begins to swell,
Last night I tried to take my life, climbed over a chair and put on a belt,
But somehow I don't know how, it didn't work out when I fell
And I am sorry, I wouldn't do it again, I don't ever wanna feel,
How at that moment I felt.
I am sorry I left you guys alone, but know this that I'll never leave you,
I know it's been a ride but yesterday I had a dream and we did pull through,
You wore the black dress you wanted but I didn't have the money to buy,
I am sorry I couldn't get you things, I always hate myself for being that guy,
We are good people, don't you think ?
God doesn't answer our prayers no more and I don't know why,
I pray to him everyday, I want to buy you guys the world before I die.
Oh, it's about time already, I have to leave, see you soon, loads of love.
Good-bye.

3-april-1981

I got your letter yesterday, you sound better then you did a month before,
I hope you are doin' fine, I don't want you to get in trouble no more.
I don't want to speak about your suicide attempt, I have no words in store,
I hope you never think of it again, get those thoughts out of your core,
If not for me, for our daughter at least, I know you won't, I am sure,
Remember we have no one else but you, don't lock away our only Door.
Our little girl is growing way too fast, you should see her before she does,
She doesn't wants me to sing to her, she wants you,
So I don't sing to her anymore.
It's gettin' hard to pay the bills, it kills me to ask you,
But when are you sending the money, winter is around the corner--
And it's getting cold.
They say the winter is going to be the coldest in a decade,
I saw it yesterday on the news report.
I am saving some money, will buy our princess a new coat.
Don't you feel down, we love you with all our heart,
I miss you so much, I miss the way you could make me laugh.
Money is never important, but I guess we have nothing else either,
I still need some time to forgive you and forget what you did,
I don't sleep in our room no more, I still imagine you inside her.
But I guess I don't hate you anymore, I understand mistakes happen,
And out of 'em all, you deserve a second chance more than anyone else,
You were always and always will be a fighter,
I trust you with our lives, they say in darkness even a spark looks so brighter,
I know it's been a ride but we just have to sit it out and hold each other a little bit tighter,
So, I'll wait for your letter, take care of yourself,
I hope things will change now for the better.



17-june-1981



Things are getting bad over here, they are cutting men off,
I don't know if I'm going to be the next, so I am putting in more hours,
I don't know when it's all gonna' stop.
Sometimes I don't sleep all night, I just go out and walk,
It's good here in the city ya' know, every one minds their own business and nobody comes over to have a talk.
I went to a seminar yesterday, it was good ya' know,
The man on the stage told us we should be happy with what we've got
And then there were people crying about the loved ones they have lost,
It got me thinking, what a fool I am, I have you guys and that means alot,
Nothing would mean anything to me if I don't have you guys,
I just want you to know how much I love you guys and want to be with you no matter what the cost.
By the way I sent some money, I hope it would pay all the bills,
If some gets left over, I want you to buy something for yourself, promise me you will.
I know I hurt you so much and the scars need some time to fill,
But you know I love you and I know you love me still.
I don't wanna talk about it today, it makes me feel so sad,
Past couple of days were no good either, i guess I'm going mad,
I never knew things will turn out this way and the time will get this bad,
All I can do is dream about the good times we could have had.
Life is slipping away and every day we are getting old,
Why don't we learn about how much life *****, why is that we are never told.
I don't want rest of my life runnin' around and chasin' gold.
I want to come home and kiss you when I want, touch you and hold,
I hope it gets better after we die, I hope we have a soul,
This world is ******' trash and it swallows everything like a black-hole,
It takes away a father from his daughter, and husband away from his wife,
Dumps you in a ******' garbage land and expects you to survive,
God, it's been so long and all I want is to feel alive,
I am goin' out for a walk, I don't want to make you more sad, kisses to our princess, good-night.


26-june -1981

It's okay to be sad, it's okay to feel hurt and pain,
But it's not okay to just cry about it and complain,
Who are you so angry on, who else should be a part of our blame ?
Tell me, I need a name!.
Life is no fairytale, I have learned to accept it and now I am awake,
I hope you do too, before the lights go out and you have nowhere else to run,
You give up so easily, why do you think everyone else is havin' fun ?
Natalie lost her child a few weeks back, Stan lost his home,
We have both, don't we ? why do you think we are on our own ?
I get it, sometimes all this misery can make you feel alone,
But that doesn't mean you should give up everything and mourn,
C'MON don't give up now, remember when our daughter was born ?
They said she wouldn't make it, but she did, she didn't give up and neither will you for our home.
I know it will get better, most of all, you deserve it more than anyone else,
Even when the goin' got tough, you never once asked for help,
And I am proud of you, as I should be, and you should be too for yourself,
Like every other time, we only get stronger, after all the stuff we have dealt,
I admit, it feels like we're in a ******' hell,
Fate is not in our hands, but we can do our part and give all we have, it will make a difference I promise, someday we might hear them bells.
I don't have anything else to say, I hope you write back soon,
When you take a walk tonight look at the moon, I'll be looking too.

















12-November-1998

Hey Tim, I know we are getting married in a month but I still miss you so so much,
Wish you were her with me tonight, so I could kiss and touch.
But that's not why I am writing you this letter to make myself feel better.
I wanted to tell you about how I feel about it all,
Do you remember that painting I put on the wall ?
I made it when I was six, it was getting colder and it was in midst of fall.
Dad had gone away and mom and me were struggling to survive,
I was crazy too, not a day went by when I didn't pull of a tantrum and fight.
I wanted dad to sing to me every night, see his face before switching off the lights.
I didn't like mom that much, she always scolded me no matter what I did,
But i guess i didn't understand then, i was just a kid.
It was hard when I was growing up, sometimes we had a place and no food,
Other times we had food but no place of ours and trust me that wasn't cool.
I was always the odd one out and everyone made fun of me at school,
I hated my parents for that--
Oh, I was such a fool.
Dad worked night and day just so we could have food on the table every night,
Both my parents never got through high school, and got married when mom got pregnant and was thrown outside--
Of her home inspite of the fact she was the only child.
My dad left his home to support my mom against the wishes of his family,
They were so happy when I was born, they never treated me like a tragedy,
No matter how tough the times got, how low they got, they gave all they could to me happily,
They held me close and away from the gloomy reality.
I still remember how those years went by, for me it was just a blink of an eye
But to them it was a lifetime of hardship and pain,
But you know what they tell me ?
They would happily do it all over again.
They worked hard, both of them and things did change,
But you know what, they still remain the same,
Inspite of how far they have come and what they have achieved,
When it was too easy for them to leave, they stayed together,
Held my little hands and sheltered me no matter how bad was the weather,
I was all they cared about, nothing else never did matter,
They saved every penny for me, even though my dad had so many chances but he never left her.
You must be wondering why I am telling you all this now,
But today I found some old letters, in a box in the attic, now I understand so much better,
It made me sad for a while, but I guess it was a part of our life,
It made us who we are today, I wouldn't want it any other way either,
I don't know what to call it, but I know it makes me feel loved, crazy isn't it ?
To know how far they have come, and how their hard worked payed off,
It almost makes me want to believe in god but I don't have to,
That will only make my parents struggle look less inspiring, god didn't pull us through.
They did, and I owe my every breath to them,
I don't know what made me hold a pen, but I don't want them to know I found those letters,
So I am confessing all of this to you,
I will show them to you one day, when things get tough, maybe that'll help us to find our way,
For it made me realize one thing and one thing only,
Love stays red even if the world moves on to shades of grey,
I guess it all makes sense now, it's such a beautiful day.