blood soaking through a tissue
telling me
look what you've done
you're not a victim
you're no tragedy
but it's easier to believe
that i am

blood stains my sleeves
asking me
who are you really?
a kind soul?
a heartless *****?
i can't decide

blood rinses down the drain
reminding me
no matter how much i bleed
i can't escape from myself

i am lost in a dark sleep
a never-ending maze of demons
haunting ivy crawling on stone
rotting wood covered in moss

i wind around corners
meeting new horrors with each step
a figure with no face
a beast with ****** fangs

i try to run but my feet are concrete
slowly consuming my legs
becoming one with my flesh
yet i persevere

i see a light through a thick fog
my heartbeat cracks the concrete
i rush with the wind
breathing in salvation

i break through the fog
light pours over my body
bathing me in life and love
i am reborn

desperate embrace
on a mall parking deck
the holy haze
of a summer mistake

please stop right now
before it’s too late
a budding flower grows
but death is her fate

a feather pink gown
stained with blood red
a whisper so low
but it’s a scream in her head

lay her down on the bed
like a doll with no eyes
play pluck panic
confuse her with lies

crumpled up paper
she lies on the ground
taken out with the trash
sink deep deeper drown

where to go from here
the map shrinks smaller
her mind fills with darkness
until there’s nothing left

late nights
the blinding light
of the computer
hoping
for
something
doors open
and close
hours past
the fire sky
now inky black
the fire silenced
but
the moon
stares down
telling me
don't think
too much
or your head
will burst
again
just sit and find
inspiration in the
christmas lights
neon lights
indirect fights
topical plights
and theories
i hate abstraction
but strive for it too
computer dying
and i'm trying
not to think

free me from
lopsided dreams
dizzy and frantic
then
soft and floaty.
downside out
and
upside in.
and you,
always you,
creeping in
lingering
etched in my mind
and on my lips,
but bitter
like poison,
then honey stings.

please sing away the pain
in hushed memories
then erase it.

now
you will
burn
up in flames
and i will rise
from the ashes
with onyx wings
and soar
straight to the moon
and the stars
and the planets.
finally free.

The sun drips away
You hold my hand
I want you to stay
But I know you can't

We kiss one last time
And hold each other more
Here you are forever mine
Our love we can explore

Then you go and fade
I cannot bring you back
This was never made
Or ever meant to last

her bright red lips
the pale blue sky
the sway of her hips
the twinkle in her eye

her soft curved frame
her dark night hair
the fall of the rain
whispering “i care”

her sweet honey voice
her tender tickle touch
i have made my choice
i love you oh so much

less
of my body
belongs to me
because of you

she looks at herself in the mirror
and wonders how she got here
standing like a conqueror
who won the battle
but she doesn’t realize
the war has just begun

his tongue moves up her inner thigh
she floats in a dream
the white pillow her cloud
and she thinks he is an angel
a bright star on her darkest days

but he was never a star
he was a meteorite
that crashed in her garden
leaving a crater of fire
consuming every living thing

four years have passed
but the fire still burns
those bittersweet memories
rotate through her mind
like a slideshow
she can’t turn off

now
whenever she wears that bra
she remembers herself in the mirror
and wishes she could go back
as a whisper
and tell herself
he’s a demon
do not trust him

even though
she’s washed her body
thousands of times
since he last touched it
it will never be enough

Never have roses
Smelled so bitter
Never has a blue jay
Had such a sad twitter

Never has the sun
Shone without light
Never have the stars
Been dull, not bright

Never has music
Been so silent
Never has a breeze
Been so violent

The world should be colorful
Every single day
But ever since you left
It is all shades of gray

The darkness is lightened
By the stars in the sky
And I am not frightened
With you by my side

You hold my hand
As we lie in the grass
We talk about our favorite bands
And things from our past

We discuss the earth, moon, and sun
And the origins of life
We wonder why people use guns
And why there is so much strife

You stare into my eyes
Moonlight twinkles in yours
For a moment we are hypnotized
Then the rain starts to pour

Both of us laugh
We leap off the ground
The sky shows its wrath
And you twirl me around

With your hands on my waist
We enjoy the refreshing shower
I can feel our hearts race
And the world feels like ours

white and bright
winter wonderland
becomes
dark and dull
fright night forest
with
a biting chill
causing
the constant headache
the displaced dysphoria
and
hallucinations of home
fantasies of flight
begging
the snow storm
take me with you
my wings
are clipped
i can't move
i can't breathe
trapped and tired
surrounded by
greedy ghosts
and
dismal dreams
then
scarlet streams
if i have to stay

please take me home

chalky white
or
deep tar black
afternoon quiet
but my head pounds
it could be
steam summer
or
prickly leaves
of autumn
but it never changes
though i hope i do
just as the uncarved block
hopes for an artist
to make it
beautiful
so the rain
and the wind
shape it instead
unless it can learn
to shape itself

Wandering into
The dark, deserted night
Hoping to see
A tiny glimpse of light
Keeping my feet
In a straight line
Remaining on the path
Making perfect time
The darkness soon dissolves
Any sense of hope
I know I am alone
I must learn to cope
Even though I desire
To go off the beaten track
I hear the wolves growling
Forcing me to step back
I keep my head up
As the rain pours down
I am solid gold
And I cannot drown

i wander through the desert
until the soles of my feet turn tough
my sweat feeds salt back into the earth
the sky grows darker with each step

as the moon rises over the mountains
my body grows weary and slow
yet my legs do not stop
the air freezes my mouth shut

i run through the desert
a coyote howls behind me
i see my blood dripping from its teeth
my flesh rotting in the sand

the sun rises but i am still afraid
i pass an animal skull half-buried
and imagine that it is my own
vultures pecking at my brain

i crawl through the desert
exhausted from dehydration
sharp rocks grating against my hands
my blood soaking into the ground

an oasis appears before me
clear water shimmering with temptation
as i crawl closer and reach out for a sip
my mouth fills with sand

i lie in the desert
burning deeper into my fate
my skin glows cracks red
smoldering lava in my bones

hundreds of years later
my body finally returns to the earth
bits of me scatter across the land
as i wander with the wind

the moon
is so enchanting,
but if i
follow the light
through the darkness,
i might get lost
before the dawn.

The shadow cast
Over the flowers
Seems so vast
The sun has the power
To lighten a dark room
To brighten any day
The flowers will bloom
They always find a way

soft sweet sour
honey bear hue
kiss on the cheek
reminds me of you

rain rose rapture
singing out loud
photos never capture
chaos in the crowd

laws learn legal
one more time
rope tied down
no thanks i'm fine

deep words drown the sound
the low hum of my love
a whisper in your ear
as sleep overcomes you

falling into a cozy doze
memories of yesterday
and thoughts of a soft tomorrow
another day of loving you

swimming through warm tides
flying through breezy skies
landing in your arms
and waking up in a dream

window glows with sunlight
your eyes drowsy and heavy
my lips touch yours
please stay with me forever

Ever since the beginning
I belonged to you
Maybe you were blind at first
But soon you saw the truth

I opened up my heart
And shared with you my soul
Our bodies intertwined together
My love forevermore

I gave to you my all
Yet after all that time
I was always yours
But you were never mine