Late at night when I'm trying to sleep
I often picture myself curled up; and
being cradled inside of a Chrysaora's
bell.. From time to time I'd glance out
at its tentacles drifting along with the
oceans waters as it carries me along
I eventually fall asleep, it holds me in
my dreams. I'm dependent on Jellies
they help me forget the bad things.

Last night I cried
until I had red eyes
hyperventilating;
I was
continuously saying
that I wanted to die
in between every breath
trembling;
I was
mumbling little nothings
that meant everythings yet
no one wanted to hear me.
I am
breathing;
steadily now, the next day.

You ask me why I'm crying and if
something is wrong- when I don't
respond you remind me to do the
dishes and clean off the counters-
don't forget to sweep the floor, "yes
every inch matters," I mumble that
I yawned and zoned out before I
could listen and you roll your eyes
as you walk away- unaffected
but you're the cause of all of this
tension don't act like you can't tell.
I think I must belong in Hell
knowing all of the thoughts I allow
to slip in and out of my mind..

I'm so ready to say goodbye..

I wish you'd all just go away
leave me alone- at least today.
I'm sick of you always telling
me what to do -especially you-
of all people.

You're so hypocritical.

Sinking down deeper into this body of water,
that's so cold I swear I'll freeze before they notice me.

Leave me alone*
I removed you
from everything
for a *reason.
You're wondering
why- maybe you
should've paid
more attention.
My point being:
I'm better off
without you.
*Goodbye.

Never ending, life keeps on going.
With or without you; time will not stop
and just when you think: "I've got this"
it all turns. The world struggles- one crisis
after another, people die and we all keep
trying to find new reasons to survive.
Someone, tell me **why.