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Nexus Jul 2018
If I walk, no one will see it.
If I talk, no one will hear it.

In this world, my soul is disappearing.
Here comes a voice, it whispers so clearly.

"My dear boy, this life is not for me. Please take the knife and end your life swiftly. I've been trapped in your body since fifteen. Please let me out, your death will release me. Please do not cry your tears are ****".

I'm getting ***** somehow, thoughts of my corpse.
This is getting unsettling, but I like being aroused.
-Nexus
Nexus Jul 2018
She said she'd take his hand.
He said he's not a man.
She said she understands.
He took here by the hand.
We flew to another land.
We built a house upon the sand.

We can be happy and start again.

She said she feels just fine.
He knows just why she lies.
She knows just how to hide.
He said it's okay to cry.
We're gonna take that flight.
Leave for another life.
Take my hand it will all be alright.

We can be happy and start again.
Love finds a way.
Nexus Jul 2018
*******! I'm a ******, got no grit and finds life hard.
Got ***** whipped and now I can't get hard. Gonna sing myself to sleep and dream of discharge.
Walk a mile, fake a smile, i'm stuck as a child.
Fighting my mind, desperately trying not to be evil.
People dying, I see them. A voice, it tells me to eat them.
I know your insides I can practically feel them,
Every bone, every muscle and tendon.
Skinless people feel they need to follow me around,
I try to run but they catch up and pin me to the ground.
Pry my mouth wide, put your tongue inside and suddenly there's no sound.
A white noise fills my mind and a darkness washes over my eyes.
I'm skinless too, I can join those who used to follow me, through the red I see blonde.
Lips i need to kiss, a skinless body I need to hold.
-Bradley M Hodgson
Nexus Jul 2018
These days are so hard to get through now,
Knowing what was before makes it worse somehow.
I tried my very best but still let you down,
My soul is now worth less; Now that i'm alone.

My heart it breaks, I see your face in every dream I have.
A mind it makes everything we go through feel so bad.

Bad is my middle name, Mark for short.
Mark is a Dad, here no more.
Not accident or tragedy could take him from me.
He one day decided he deserved to be free from me.

Free was my life, bestowed upon thee.
Free from this life I wish I could be.

I don't want to off myself, that's not right.
I don't look after my health, a slow suicide.
Death in a hospital bed.
My breaths begin to shallow, vision getting narrow.
My heart is beating weaker, machines beeping faster.
My blood's getting cold.
I've wanted to die my whole life,
Not now that i'm old.
-Nexus
Nexus Jan 2019
I'm addicted to this medicine, quetiapine and cynicism.
My doctor told me i'll never sleep again.
I might as well be taking ******, I made my bed again.
You see i've got this disease but these pill will make me real again. Paranoia with no cease to end. Anxiety around your friends. An emotion that others pretend to comprehend. It's on this drug I must depend my doctor said. For that plant you smoke ruins your brain, i'm sure that it was dope that drove you insane.
And I say to what end. He laughs then shows me my graph and points out a trend. You did this to yourself, a destructive state of health, now take this pill and get some rest. Tomorrow's a big day for you'll meet you true self.
-Nexus
Nexus Jul 2018
You see I think I might be dying because i'm feeling mighty fine.
Ever since you took me by surprise god knows that i've been trying, to get back all of our time that I wasted away crying and maybe someday i'll get back to feeling mighty fine.
Someday you will call me yours and i'll call you mine.
I promised to you that i'd make all of this right. Iv'e been begging down on my knees, now it's time to fight. This feeling it's so nice.
In love with you I think I might be, for you i'm up all night praying please. Pray I might get better and you'll still be there for me.
We lay together. Swear to take no other and lay ourselves bear to be seen. For you my love I master my stutter, control my shudders and my mind shall be clean. It's for you my love that I write these words. I'm no longer than man I used to be.
I feel mighty fine.
Nexus Jul 2018
Isn't it funny how his blood smells like his blade.
It must be the metal, quantum level the same.
Every possibility in time lead to this line.
A faceless man writing this rhyme.
In a world so messed up he thinks it's his fault.
Turning to drugs, he lost all his hope.
And now sits alone worrying how to cope.
Can't stop smoking dope.
He never visioned he'd be happy,
And it shows.
-Nexus
Nexus Jul 2018
We all evolved to fit a nićhe,
Nature chose what we believe.
All we know is all we see,
Our brains have made it true to be.
Our brain it figured out itself,
Gaining knowledge by ourselves.
It trains the body to the brink of health,
And now we are in a time of unrest.
Our brain went too far,
And caused it's premature death.
-Nexus
Nexus Jul 2018
I committed suicide before I even started life.
I plan to over time, let my health decline.
And by the time, i'm twenty five,
I'll be ready to die.

Even if I change my mind.
It'll be too late to look behind.
I close my eyes, let out one last sigh.
And I say thanks to myself,
I can finally die.
-Nexus

— The End —