i'm afraid
to speak anything
suddenly my tongue is sharp
and my thoughts are deadly
quiet washes over me
and i am paralyzed
"what's wrong"
makes no sense to me
and i still can't find the words to say
hoping people might stop
thinking i'm crazy

Woke up feeling, uncomfortably content.
So, I drove myself to the
edge of sanity.
I sat there a while,
wondering
what comes next.

i found you
chasing youth
and offered myself.

like candy
another piece
of this broken body,

f e a r
is nowhere to be found.

you've convinced me
sacrifice always smells
best over brunch.

"I've never felt like this before"
but what i meant was
"I've (always) felt alone. (I guess I've never known)"
Is this (real) love?

brain's running on a train track
destination's outta wack
no station in sight
breaks off left and right
no telling
where my mind
will go

I feel asleep in your hoodie,
the ghost of your arms, *keeping me warm.

alice......*
stop trying to
keep the time
with a
broken watch.

If I could go anywhere in the world
I would go back in time to a little girl,
to myself, at 8 years old,
and make the world seem a little less cold.
I would tell her not to cry
keep her chin up and keep her eyes dry.
I would tell her to love her mother
for she loves you like no other
After this I would travel on
to 14 year old me, thought she was gone.
I would tell her, please don't use the blade
for those scars you make, they will not fade.
Please just go and ask for help
i'd scream at her but she wouldn't yelp
for she thought that this would help her then
couldn't see a future where she'd smile again
next i'd go and visit mom
i'd sit with her and keep her calm
Tell her about the pain i hid
I know she really loved her kid
she didn't see how much i hurt
all she saw were angry spurts
now i'm filled with much regret
wish i could just forget
but adversely we can't go back
as much as i wanted that
moving forward, it will not stop
we just keep on going until we drop
i try to think now what would i say
if future me, came to me today
what would she tell me?
what does she know?
i guess that i will see
when i get there, you know?

I don't want a moment of fame,
I want a lifetime of creativity.
Known for my words and not my numbers.

something deeper then a soul mate,
because while a soulmate kindles your inner fire
a twin flame parallels the heat of your soul
a soulmate works to keep your heart
while a twin flame already holds the other half
soulmates are all around you, in friend and love
but a twin flame
comes only once

keys, play me a sound
something sweet to hear
fingers, write me a song
needs to fit the ear

words and words and words

which will say just right
exactly what i feel ?

is it possible
to learn it so well
i can close my eyes
and emotions will swell

can it come so easily?
as to not even try
can i learn to write
w/out having to cry

Sank into the black ink  
and bathed in the warmth of his skin
inebriated
&
willingly losing my breath.

My back burned red and
water filled my ears.

It was easy to drown the
sound of doubt
circling in the drain -    

Until it wasn’t

Until flesh turned cold
And my bones told
that it was time to go.  

Tears came but
they couldn’t heat me up.

As the tub emptied,
I sat shivering for a while
a chilly sting
lingering
on my chest.

my darling left for battle
he kissed me on the cheek
i wished him all my love
not knowing what to speak*
te amo, mi amor