Ever been happy so much,
You cried?

Ever been sad so much,
You laughed?

Yeah,
I love so much that I hate
I hate, so I must love
I'm a living mess
Who am I, wandering this place?

And know that I mean what I say,
I say what I know
But I know that not knowing anything
Is what I know the best.

A mess, tangled in wires
Of unsorteable emotions and
Unrecognized behaviours
Unknown thoughts,
Uncommon, just another head in the clouds.
Who are you to change this world?

A living contradiction.

To be or not to be?
To live, or not to live?
I know the unknowable thoughts

Because everyone knows what they do not know.
Everyone has their reason to live,
Or not to live.
So I said let it be!

So you can proudly say,
»I know the unknown!«

So you can always say,
»I know the unknown!«

He stood on the hill with his cap turned backwards,
And it made no logic at all
Since the sun was hitting his eyes, but he didn't seem to care
For the orange line, over his face

And yet, when I approached closer
He seemed further away, and the galaxy was spreading across his face
It looked like a magnificent burn
Which he got
From dreaming
Too much

The sun turned black and the boy was no more.
Now, the only thing I could see in front of me was a shade...
Not like I could describe it, since it was a shade of fear seen from my eyes.
I wasn't looking with my eyes, yet with my soul alone.

A discovery far more greater than what I've known my whole life.

So I, naturally, search for Hope and Dreams
My Ideals, too
Yet
I only found Illusions
Lying broken on the crimson floor
As the Life and Thought beat it up

But then a darkness far greater than all of the others came.
Really, it can't be seen with your eyes, so you need to look with your soul.
Blacker than the venta black.
Just a deathly black.

It was Him, for sure. Not Him as the God, but the one who takes your hand at the end of your suffering.
And so, Illusion's hand was taken
While Life and Thoughts spit on the ground and disappeared,

Death embraced me and him.

It was far more comfortable than I'd thought it would be;
An indisputable peace found only within your heart.
It's an irony, but it shine so bright
With it's darkness
That we both knew we were finally safe.

And the boy?
Oh, well he sat on the ground.
Took a sip of time
Like he always does, from time to time.

He looked at me, absorbing
All of my questions
Changing his form to however I
Had imagined him at that moment

And just when I thought I had caught up with him, he'd transform yet again.

Then it hit me.
He was Illusions himself;
And just when I wanted to
Embrace him and make him confirm,

Just like Hopes, Dreams, and
All of my Ideals...

He broke at that moment.

And all I'm left with
Is this blinding darkness
Sparkling with it's sweet venom;

I realise life is more and less that I had ever guessed.

Illusions are not to be trusted.

Because Illusions always break.

broken glass in my ****** hands
and everything we've been through
it cuts me deeper
my broken heart
in your hands,
i fall
apart

our masks crashed on the floor
losing interest in the stars
we're walking away from our dreams
we'll walk off from the galaxy

i might numb the pain down
i might burn the sorrow away
i might scream the desperation away
i might make the misery drown

let's fall face down to the floor
let's dance off a cliff
and then fly away
and then dissolve away

let's wake up,
or let's never wake up again

let our tears light our way
or come into the way of our light.

let me numb the pain away
let me walk the stars
let me visit the sun
and inhabit the moon

let me never
ever
feel
this
again

what a gorgeous tragedy;
letting the lady death steal
the life i try to draw my breath from,
playing a melody on this flute and violin
that cuts deeper than the northern winds
that sink their icy teeth into my warm arm,
flowing with living blood,
yet tainted with black mildew that kills,
all while singing this ear-wrecking song -
waiting for no-one to hear,
or see these burning tears
while the pile of the forgotten ones
draws me forward, pulls me so close in,
God, i do not want to fade into
nonexistence
leaving no meaningful trail behind
except these long forgotten poems
that mark that i once tried
to fool the lady death,
to stay behind after i die.

a leaf falls onto the bench,
completely mute. you pick
it up, begging it to make a sound.
i wonder why, it won't work wonders;
i wonder why, has it fallen down,
i wonder why, are we all
just leaves, now
on the ground?

sometimes, the hole is too big to be filled.
other times, it's like it fills itself.
as if something breaks, and i can suddenly let go.
sometimes, i still smell your perfume,
and other times, i see your shadows in our garden and in the faces passing by.
help me let this young soul go;
i don't know if you can leave,
but help him pass the bridge.
for i was way too late,
and people all around me are starting to wither.
i can see it in their eyes, and i know you see it too.
i can see it in the tragedy of their beloved ones, and i know how they hurt.

he told me i
can't have this
wounds patched up, i
can't heal
the only way to
close the
wound, is to
break
completely

so i
Broke
but i
am still
alive
help me
break
and let me
bleed out
in the dead
silence
of
night

There was no place like your eyes

A pool-depth full of lies

each passing time,
the pain gets multiplied
and it lingers on,
a scent, wrapping my body up
into mischievous agony.
amuse me, pain,
amuse me, agony;
for i have yet to show my best qualities.
the best has not yet come to pass,
but one certain thing comforts me
and puts me at ease like a sweet lullaby;
if i create, i am
if i write, i exist
and my life will forever go on,
and my existence will not be in vain.
for as long as i create,
some trail will be left behind.
the scent of death will fade,
and i will live
one more time.

i need to sit
and catch my breath
'cause i can't stand
what's going on,
i need a minute
to just hold on.
the world is too fast,
it's spinning about,
i need to stop,
oh, god, help me down.
i need to sit
and cry it out,
i wish emotions
would come out.
it's all blurry,
i'm always in a hurry,
i wish i could
just break the clock
that's ticking down,
make the time
count down.
'cause god, i need to breathe,
but these things
are killing me.
oh god, just one breath,
in the rain, i suffocate.
it all comes down,
it's crashing now,
but i just sit
and try to breathe.

wherever i go
i see your footsteps
marking the snow in my heart

a silent whisper, your voice
sends shivers down my body
while i'm losing everything in your wind

once you have taught me how not to love,
how can i
ever love
again?

so how can i fight if
i'm not whole?
so how to fight if

wherever i go
i see your footsteps
marking the snow in my heart
quietly telling me,
"You can never love again".

Cleopatra used to look at this moon,
But I'm just happy I get to see it with you.

and in the dark
you long for your muse;
calling her name
needing her to inspire you

to embolden the blood in your veins
to embrace the void in your eyes

to flip your world around,

to fill your soul with love

you long for your muse.

i'm back, my old friend
once again, i picked up the pen
to make the smile on paper alive again.
colours are filling in my heart
and with you, i can see again
i never knew how blind i was.
you are the wonderful flower
that's being acknowledged by people
passing through the streets
then picked up, to gift to their mothers,
simply because of your exquisite beauty;
you are now her flower, and mine as well.
and without you, the wind carries me away,
and i struggle to find my path alone.
dreams would hurt me, the stars would shoot me,
and the lake would tell me to drown;
but then i'd wake up,
to see you by my side.

then i hug the world, and dream of better days with you.
with you, i know i can make it through.

and now, in the dead of night,
only my tears
guide the way;
only my gorgeous tuxedo cat
keeps me company.

he lies on me,
purring my tears away.
little cat, silly cat,
i will hold you in my heart
for the rest of my days.

I love my
little tuxedo cat,
he knows when i
need him the most.

it's no wonder
you can't fall asleep,
when your tears
are ornamenting
your silky sheets

pain
changes us
and pain
must exist
or you'll feel
like you've never
lived

cigarette ashes
fly on the wind,
as i stare at my black coffee,
it gazes back at me.
black sobranie,
and i debate;
of all the people,
i find it hard to see
is there something
worth seeking.
just like dust,
i let them go
i never looked back
let them think i'm bore.
you may be
a world unseen,
yet i am so tired
no words flow well enough.
i'll just go lose myself
in paint and doubt
while i stare at my coffee,
and flit around.

fragile creature, lying on the floor
naked and bare, curled up
not even crying, slowly dying inside
whilst the sun rays hit it, thus
painting a beautiful, yet a sad picture
glass pieces and ashes ornament the floor
slowly glowing in the girl's hair
in a silver dress
slowly dying on the floor

poetry, poetry;
my little fairy,
i cut open my wrist
and lovely daisies blossomed!

poetry, tiny pretty ghost,
is it a good sign?
would you heal me, please?
i feel their roots in my veins...

poetry, you silly phantom,
it isn't pleasant anymore!
they're ******* my blood,
there's vultures in my bloodflow.

poetry, silver fanged wraith,
your roots are in my bones,
it's a temple crushing down.
the past is hunting me down.

poetry, my little fairy.
i'm nothing more than dust.
i love you, but i fall apart.
you brought my old demons back.

poetry, my little fairy;
i cut my wrist open,
and lovely rotten daisies bloomed!

in the night i fall apart
sending golden streaks into the clouds;
waving, twisting, chasing the wind,
radioactive waste polluting my lungs;
the metallic liquid drips from my fingertips
as i try to write at least one more beautiful song,
as i suffer to paint a grotesque picture,
as my own hands create chaos in my insides;
as i choke on my own words
and spill water over my eyes
just to see again, just to remember
for one more time
before i finally
fall apart