4 days ago

They told me to find a body that made sense
but I only found one that confused me more.
In that moment, when the stars and moon hung low,
and the sky was blanketed in deep indigo,
he canceled every other man on our side of the world
and he towered over me like a giant.
A gentle giant with rose colored glasses on,
with the biggest hands out of the world
that would cup me and grasp me, groping roughly with one.
His clammy hands, his hot lips,
his soft skin, his hopeless mind.
All needing justified love and lust
to take him away from pain and
to stop him from hurting himself with glass.
He put me in the hole in his chest,
offering sincerity but it was temporary
and it was to be filled with cement only to
me in and to never let me out.
The memories and the pain of jerking and tugging,
sucking and licking and being forced for the rest.
I never wanted to be treated so roughly,
I never wanted to be fingered so desperately,
I never wanted to be fondled so hard.
I was only fourteen. What was I doing?
But, the illusion of pink, silk, and roses gave me
this vision of lust and how it equated with love
and glitter plus sparkles equal forever.
I was lying to myself and I was telling myself
he was feeding me love and he wasn’t toxic for my soul
and nothing was hurting, nothing was going downhill.
I ran around in circles and tried to make myself dizzy,
my head was so jumbled that I was seeing birds.
I wanted to fly away, to float away, he took me away.
I keep on trying to let him go, but I didn’t know how to go about it.
Half of me has disappeared. My innocence has been stolen.
I lost myself and myself got stuck.
I looked everywhere for a body that made sense.
Where is it?

This is about my first real sexual/romantic encounter. I’ve never had full vaginal intercourse, but the rest... I think you get it. I didn’t even want to do it. I was too young and the relationship was toxic. I had these fantasies and expectations to what I really wanted the relationship to be like and I lied to myself saying that he had all I wanted and needed. It ended up hurting him and I in the process. Lesson learned.

All animals scurry through the vast woods,
they secretly look across the field to see two legged animals.
Follow them home,
stare at the home,
oh what a beautiful home.
"But look!"
Said one deer in lonesome fascination
"The heads of our brethren hang there"
"Why not us?"
"How much less beautiful must we be?"
They scurry back.
Quickly, quickly! To tell the others.

"What a majestic meaning in be a wall hanging,
I must become a creature worthy of this life"
They all said in unison.

As hunters come and go, all but the lucky ones get their wish granted,
and the rest have the minds to run fast and chauvinistically,
to show off, in hopes of being hung for the world to admire.
Without a soul, and never the free will that the forest granted.

And as one deer is shot, all young doe frantically scream...
"can't you believe it, I knew him before he was along the wall!"
"He wagged his tail at me, you saw it, he really did!"

Its not all its cracked up to be.
#gun   #animals   #hunting   #deer   #fame   #hunt   #illusions   #famous  
Mysidian Bard
Mysidian Bard
Dec 27, 2016

I come from a place
Where reality's a dream
We sleepwalk awake
Silent are the screams

Uncertainty is certain
Lies are absolute
Destruction just creates
The vital and minute

Consciously unaware
Of our intended mistakes
Reminded to forget
That giving only takes

I come from a place
Where eyes never see
Through the mists of illusion
Surrounding you and me

Ghost of Jupiter
Ghost of Jupiter
Nov 19, 2016

why do you haunt me at night
when the waning moon is high
your image flourishing in the pale luster
only to dissipate with the first break of morn
I hear you in my darkness
whispering so softly
your wraith words how they flow
over and through me
possessing my every thought
you roam the empty halls
of my desolate heart
moaning my name
then hide
allowing me only to conjure up
an apparition of you
still I reach out grasping at shadows
as you fade away into the ethereal light
for you only haunt me at night
when the waning moon is restless
and so am I


#dream   #passion   #moon   #ghost   #insomnia   #illusions  

She was a temporary mirror,
showing a perfect reflection.
Everything you hoped to see
Staring back at you.
When the mirror eventually tarnishes,
And truth becomes clearer,
Will you even know the person
staring back at you?

@LadyifRavenhill 10/25/16
Youth Origins
Youth Origins
Oct 22, 2016

Fear me.
Honest to God, you should fear me.
Because you are the only thing I know how to hate.

Someone once told me that I had a heart of gold,
That someday it would screw me over,
Despite it being my best quality.

I can empathize with the greatest villains in the world.
I can find our commonality in our humanness.
I can see the small slivers of goodness in them.

I find none in you.

You are the worst type of monster.
I cannot even fathom having that type of evil living inside of me.
I see nothing but darkness in you,

You think I'm scared of you?
I can't even begin to try and contain my laughter.
You cannot hurt someone immune like me.

But, sure, if it makes you feel better,
Believe that you have "hurt" me.
Believe that you have some sort of power or victory.

But remember this.
When you have to turn and run, and I am able to stride on by,
Your illusion will be shattered.

Kerli Tulva
Kerli Tulva
Sep 10, 2016

Dans les belles nuits sombres
Quand les pensées m’ont hantée
Je ne les peux jamais comprendre
Avant qui ils sont bien captivée

Les pensées si haute et grand
Entoure mon cœur tendre
Les petites doutes et offrandes
Qui mon âme de désir me rende

Les illusions, ceux qui existent
Ils sont doux, si trompeuses
Et pourtant je ne comprends pas
Pourquoi ils sont magnétiseuses.

Mes chères, édifiant rêveries
Qui me donne du chagrin, du mal
Mais sans qui je ne peux pas vivre
Les chimères, gentil et fantomal.

Something in French. Inspired by the book Letters a l'Amazone.
Sep 7, 2016

i told him he had the eyes of satan
and i watched his glassy eyes shatter
i told him he had the eyes of satan
and he asked if i have ever seen mine
that i may not have satan's eyes
but i am not the clueless victim i pretend
instead i let the marionettes dance
and that i pull the strings of people
and our ways parted forever
he may be flawed and twisted
but for a second, he saw me

#love   #eyes   #shatter   #in   #falling   #strangers   #illusion   #with   #satan   #illusions  
nidhi raman
nidhi raman
Aug 31, 2016

Formed of muscle and sinew
A superficial existence
Confining and revealing an,
Enigma inside.

#acrostic   #face   #masks   #illusions  
nidhi raman
nidhi raman
Aug 28, 2016

Stark white papers drifting aimlessly
These purple footprints chasing,
Often failing, sometimes catching up
Reality surfacing-

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