Cry as loud as clouds rain
Shine as moon stars
Blow as monsoon winds
Paint colours in the night sky as fireworks
Word artistry like black ink on white
Everything was destined to be
But what's the story behind our broken destiny
Sky falling the reasoning
Cutting loose ends leaving me
Ohhh its so sad to see
I knew the point of growing together
Now ours is pointless 'cause we've grown to never
Not heartbroken and lost
Heart stolen and cut in smaller parts
Trying to shed light in my heart
Trapped in the sea with white sharks
You were too emotional
I never understood the motion of your emotions
Where's thou heart... in the ocean
Thought I was swimming in high levels of emotions
Till I stood up to find it wasn't even knee high
How deceptive the heart can be to throw such illusions
Can't even trust it sometimes
Even my own mind plays tricks on me
Only when I stood still In the emotions I used to swim in
was I able to let the truth in by letting it reflect back at me
So shallow they were that I was able to see my own two feet
Oh no, I guess it really wasn't that deep...
The mud has settled and I can see myself again, shining, still with ravens in my eyes
I guard my heart, balancing the light and the dark
Trying not to tilt for too long on one side
This prison is a place where darkness only breeds
and the shadows dance with themselves,
playing tricks on my eyes, darting quickly across the walls
only to vanish upon my focused gaze.
I once caught a glimpse of these hypnotic specters;
cruel machinations of tortured souls revealed themselves
to be nothing more than corrupted reflections of myself
wandering aimlessly through a hall of mirrors.
These rooms were once traversable,
but now this maze is more twisted than my own intentions;
unheeded, unnoticed and smiling, like a knife in the dark
waiting for an opportunity to quell any ambitions
that may lead to freedom.
She always had dilated pupils but never did drugs like that.
Only now I realize that her body's been trying to get its soul back.
She's got a calcified third eye with a drawn on one on her forehead for
the fools who don't think deep enough to know she isn't spiritual, because her soul has left her body a long long time ago.
Eventually truth comes to light, and truth is she had no eyes to see that we are so much more than body and bones, and the blood that we bleed.
She fools you with the things she eats, even the sound of her voice can be so sweet, but nothing could be further from the truth;
her eyes always proved that she's hollow through and through.
She still wins though, because only I know, only I felt, only I could see the truth of the real person who lied deep underneath the skin.
She's hollow through and through, having no soul within.
They told me to find a body that made sense
but I only found one that confused me more.
In that moment, when the stars and moon hung low,
and the sky was blanketed in deep indigo,
he canceled every other man on our side of the world
and he towered over me like a giant.
A gentle giant with rose colored glasses on,
with the biggest hands out of the world
that would cup me and grasp me, groping roughly with one.
His clammy hands, his hot lips,
his soft skin, his hopeless mind.
All needing justified love and lust
to take him away from pain and
to stop him from hurting himself with glass.
He put me in the hole in his chest,
offering sincerity but it was temporary
and it was to be filled with cement only to
me in and to never let me out.
The memories and the pain of jerking and tugging,
sucking and licking and being forced for the rest.
I never wanted to be treated so roughly,
I never wanted to be fingered so desperately,
I never wanted to be fondled so hard.
I was only fourteen. What was I doing?
But, the illusion of pink, silk, and roses gave me
this vision of lust and how it equated with love
and glitter plus sparkles equal forever.
I was lying to myself and I was telling myself
he was feeding me love and he wasn’t toxic for my soul
and nothing was hurting, nothing was going downhill.
I ran around in circles and tried to make myself dizzy,
my head was so jumbled that I was seeing birds.
I wanted to fly away, to float away, he took me away.
I keep on trying to let him go, but I didn’t know how to go about it.
Half of me has disappeared. My innocence has been stolen.
I lost myself and myself got stuck.
I looked everywhere for a body that made sense.
Where is it?
All the animals scurry through the vast woods,
they secretly look across the field to see two legged animals.
Follow them home,
stare at the home,
oh what a beautiful home.
Said one deer in lonesome fascination
"The heads of our brethren hang there"
"Why not us?"
"How much less beautiful must we be?"
They scurry back.
Quickly, quickly! To tell the others.
"What a majestic meaning in life...to be a wall hanging,
I must become a creature worthy of this life"
They all said in unison.
As hunters come and go, all but the lucky ones get their wish granted,
and the rest have the minds to run fast and chauvinistically,
to show off, in hopes of being hung for the world to admire.
Without a soul, and never the free will that the forest granted.
And as one deer is shot, all young doe frantically scream...
"can't you believe it, I knew him before he was along the wall!"
"He wagged his tail at me, you saw it, he really did!"
I come from a place
Where reality's a dream
We sleepwalk awake
Silent are the screams
Uncertainty is certain
Lies are absolute
Destruction just creates
The vital and minute
Of our intended mistakes
Reminded to forget
That giving only takes
I come from a place
Where eyes never see
Through the mists of illusion
Surrounding you and me
why do you haunt me at night
when the waning moon is high
your image flourishing in the pale luster
only to dissipate with the first break of morn
I hear you in my darkness
whispering so softly
your wraith words how they flow
over and through me
possessing my every thought
you roam the empty halls
of my desolate heart
moaning my name
allowing me only to conjure up
an apparition of you
still I reach out grasping at shadows
as you fade away into the ethereal light
for you only haunt me at night
when the waning moon is restless
and so am I
She was a temporary mirror,
showing a perfect reflection.
Everything you hoped to see
Staring back at you.
When the mirror eventually tarnishes,
And truth becomes clearer,
Will you even know the person
staring back at you?
Honest to God, you should fear me.
Because you are the only thing I know how to hate.
Someone once told me that I had a heart of gold,
That someday it would screw me over,
Despite it being my best quality.
I can empathize with the greatest villains in the world.
I can find our commonality in our humanness.
I can see the small slivers of goodness in them.
I find none in you.
You are the worst type of monster.
I cannot even fathom having that type of evil living inside of me.
I see nothing but darkness in you,
You think I'm scared of you?
I can't even begin to try and contain my laughter.
You cannot hurt someone immune like me.
But, sure, if it makes you feel better,
Believe that you have "hurt" me.
Believe that you have some sort of power or victory.
But remember this.
When you have to turn and run, and I am able to stride on by,
Your illusion will be shattered.