cold tiles and
a rose sink
cuts that make
it hard to think

clogged drains
florescent lights
bolted doors
that lock so tight

a beating heart and
closed blinds
please dont leave
me left behind

The scars that rage your skin
And the moments of simple sin
The bliss of death is among us
As the water fills our lungs
We are drowned out at sea
Walked by but not seen
Tired if waiting
Our time is simply fading

Waves of sunshine fallen beneath the waves
My eyes broken pieces of thin glistening glass
Glued together by the tears that sting them
Burning with impatience
Teary eyes wonder-less without streaming down my vacant face

I need to be saved
And wake up in someone else's arms
Feeling the absoluteness of security and love
Whether be covered in tattoos or scars
I'll accept you wholeheartedly
You're every embrace and flaw
Every feature I fall in love with
And everything else in between

I promise you this

But in return would you accept
Someone in need of saving?
Someone as ****** up as me?
Someone covered in detailed flaws
And darkened scars
From thighs to wrists?

n.j.

Holding hands, yet feeling alone,
Your presence was meant to be my home.

I can still feel you-
         the you you used to be,
The us that was,
               the you and me.

Holding hands, yet feeling alone.
Where did the excitement go?
The magic we would feel-
                 with every touch,
The joy,
              the nerves,
                                 the rush-

Holding on to every word-
                 anticipating the next.
Remembering each and every moment,
Waiting anxiously to create the rest.

Now we rest on each other,
sometimes without a word to say.
What happened to the moments-
when we hadn't enough hours in a day.

At least when we admit-
             that what we had is now lost.
I will have gained a million memories to put to a song.

And every time 'our song' plays,
                           I'll surely think of you.
Dreams shared, Years lost-
       *and all I'm left with is a tune.

There is a little girl
That rests in my bones
Inhabits
My soul
Hides within me
Peaks out through the cracks of my ribcage
And
Every so often
Reminds me
Who I am
I call myself woman
Now and then
Give my body to men
Who promise me fleeting moments of attention
I live in routine
Put on the charade that is adulthood
I almost forget sometimes
That I am not grown
That most of it is false
A cover
I hide under the covers at night
And still fear the dark
Conquer it with a glowing light shaped like a rubber duck
I sleep alone
But the pillow of my late dog besides my head
Keeps me safe
I am a person of habit
Afraid that if I alter the slightest details
More than just the content of my sandwiches will change
Change has never been a close friend of mine
I know him just well enough
To invite him in
But his arrival always seems to come
When I least expect it
I still cry
When I get overwhelmed
And the thought of unfamiliar hands
Makes me shudder
I am still learning
How to trust
When I had always been taught
To not believe everything you are told
I've recently realized
That soon enough
I'll have to confront the reality that is life
So for now
I'm choosing to protect
The little girl within me
Wrap my arms around her innocence
Shelter her from the hurricane like storms
From those who have come to knock her down
I'm choosing
To hold on to her
For my greatest fear of all
Is letting go.

THE island dreams under the dawn
And great boughs drop tranquillity;
The peahens dance on a smooth lawn,
A parrot sways upon a tree,
Raging at his own image in the enamelled sea.
Here we will moor our lonely ship
And wander ever with woven hands,
Murmuring softly lip to lip,
Along the grass, along the sands,
Murmuring how far away are the unquiet lands:
How we alone of mortals are
Hid under quiet boughs apart,
While our love grows an Indian star,
A meteor of the burning heart,
One with the tide that gleams, the wings that gleam
and dart,
The heavy boughs, the burnished dove
That moans and sighs a hundred days:
How when we die our shades will rove,
When eve has hushed the feathered ways,
With vapoury footsole by the water's drowsy blaze.

I can see the light of Dawn

The everlasting darkness fading

Cold leaving my bones

And the warmth of hope filling them again

Though the stars have lit our way

As we walked down this path

Nothing is greater than seeing the Sun