Help me understand what I mean to you...
Help me clarify that I am something, cause im tired too..
Tired of the games and blues, filled with exhaustion from my heart buying in to your lies soo much its costin me,happiness...
I wanna know for sure!'show me an exact image! of reason, why be with him, if I known you longer than you been breathin?
All this teasin is misleading, do you want me? tell me! dont leave me hangin..
Im madden and sadden by the though he has your lips, what happens to me  if it last long, and  I just come around like a bad caugh.
I've lost...
What we had is old news, but i guess time shared holds no meaning in helping you choose.
Don't come to me if your confused, i refuse to help you and your trouble, for now on do you...
Cause i been doin me, never had a problem I couldn't solved em easily with alil alcohol and **** cause you cared less about me and more about him..
I was a friend the best there was, the best there is, the best there ever will be, one you'll probably will not miss.
Or even noticed, if I disappeared, Im just a ghost, a shadowed memory,  still wanna be wanted but its hopeless...truly hopeless, why I wrote this? It won't change a **** thing about her, why Am  I still hopin? Why I care? Why I dare to even mention your name know you wont come to my aid, your never there...
Always with another or him, not knowing who you want, i was wish i was in your option, I can do much more, but never gained a chance to prove, and you wonder why I feel summertime  blues....
Im the best, One you'll never loose..
Ima alot of things but theres a side I never get to show, a side you will love, but you always say no, not givin me a chance as if I was bronze not worth your Gold,
but listen baby im silver, way out there but a good catch, ima outfielder,
something you can be near uhh never shed a tear soo why you always out me?
Always doubt me, never wanna like me, knowing im the right piece,
always misplace me baby, i can clean up mess like a wipee, 
whipe your tears on my white T,
i wanna be your  lycan whose fightin for what he likes see? but I feel there's no time for me...so again  why am I writing????
I am just helpless, a romantic put on the shelf like an old novel,
these say stomach the pain, but I put these dead butterflies in a bottle...
alone in my household, holding close what I call ghost hopes...Dead long ago, now it just cold like the snow, could build a snow man, But I just say no,
Why bother like Stone Sour...it will never happen, I blacken with thoughts, cryin in shower.
Stressin myself because my heart feels like its in a cyclical orbit,
of doubt and hopes, a limbo that continues to lower my esteem
and stings with pain like hornets..

BY: Emmanuel Jv Hernandez
5/23/14
(might add and edit later depending if i doesnt flow the way i want or needs more insight to get across what im feeling)


comment what you think!!!!!

you are like toothpaste
i stick on my face
that wont come off for a whole day
i wish you where the ending.
when i whipe it off
the pimples have gone away.
you are like my mind
you never shut up

You cry invisible tears
When you try to fight your darkest fears
You try to stay out of shock
But in your mind grows the fog
And nobody knows the invisible tears you cry
Because the smile on your face will keep up the lie
But you must must know that I know them all
And I will keep trying to whipe them away before you fall

Angel eyes
Watching me closely
Every move, that I make
Angel eyes
Watching my breath tonight
Oh my angel, watch me sleep

Cause your my angel
My ever loving angel
That will never change
Be my breath tonight

Angel wings
Embracing me
Closure to my aching heart
Angel wings
Shielding me
From my bad past, behind

Cause your my angel
My ever loving angel
That will never change
Be my breath tonight

And every time I fall
You will catch me
And every time I break
You'll put me back together
Every time I cry
You will whipe a way my tears
Oh angel, my angel

Cause your my angel
My ever loving angel
That will never change
Be my breath for life

he ran away from his unborn child,he thought in his mind he was too young to raise a young child,couse he also was a child.
All he wanted was to be free,young and wild.
As he took two steps back he felt relief,then he believed he could leave,so he left with his believe.

Runing away was like runing to jail he knew not.
Planing to go in drunkiness and in revery that two he knew not.

The mind kept spreading more lies to the morning  bread he eated,he was just too weak so his heart was defeated.The unborn child forgotten.The weeping girl weeped and whipe hear tears,but his memory remaind,a picture of him that can never be ereased,that each and every thought of the child evoked the unbearable feelings,the bast of fury flames touring her mind,shouts encrepted in the her heart,on the bed twisting n turning,wakin and sleeping but still she found no rest,internaly bleeding,emotional abused by his pictures

then she thought
thought that abortion might be the solution to the situation that she is in.

I need to clean this slate
Whipe away the chalk trails of my mistakes
I need a clean slate

Chalk's never been so impossible to erase
It's there to stay
To send my mind to outerspace
Spelling out the things I did not say

Every word fits on this deafening chalk board
Spelling out the only words I chose to hoard
"I need you..."
My mind reads it like my lips have said it before

I need to clean this slate
Whipe away the chalk trails of my mistakes
I need a clean slate

Chalk's never been so impossible to erase
It's there to stay
To send my mind to outerspace
Spelling out the things I did not say

Every word fits on this small chalk board
Spelling out the only words I chose to hoard
"I need you..."
My mind reads it like my lips have said it before

You are my soul mate, there are many like us
But this one is ours,  My soul mate is my best friend she is my life
Without me my soul mate I she useless without her I am useless
I will treat my soul mate right, I will be your shelter your armor your strength
I will be your sword your protector your shield
I will learn your weaknesses your strength your dreams your desires and your fears
I will ever guard you against the ravages and trials of this world I will
We will become part of each other, we will
I will slay every dragon I will clear every obstacle
I will pick you up when you fall, take care of you when you fall ill
I will be your strength when you are weak
When you cannot continue I will carry you
When you  are sick I will care for you
When you cry  I will whipe away the tears
I will sacrifice all to have you at peace
When our children are hurt I will heal them
I will be strong enough for the both of us
May you not want while I am with you
When there is work to be done I will do it
I will be the wind beneath your wings
I will be at your back every step you take
I will miss you when you are afar
You will be in my heart forever and always
We will give each other names which we only call each other
We will know each other through body and soul
I will know your wants needs dreams and desires
I will be the man of your dreams
I will give you all your heart desires and needs
I will give my all and ask for nothing in return but your love
My love is unconditional
Through sorrow and desease
Through wrinkles and baldness
My love will never end even after breathe lives my body
I will not let you give up on yourself even when you feel like you cannot continue
Our lives will be entwined and ever seamless
There is nothing we together  cannot accomplish
We were destined
Our lives are written in the stars
We will be together one day
And that day will be the beginning of our beautiful lives together
God has brought us together and nothing can break us
Theses things I promise to you and to you alone for all time


Before God I swear this creed my soul mate and I are the masters of our future we are the perfect match we are opposites we complete each other, So be it for the rest of our days until eternity embraces us and there is no one else but us.

Today I visited our spot for the fist time since you’ve been gone

And as I guessed, this year spring came in suspiciously late and I knew that it was because of you. You stopped time for me. Your last miracle.

But it feels ruined in all its beauty without you here. There is no sky under which I can last without you.

You know how I always liked wearing color and I would swear I’d wear yellow to make you smile?

But after they told me you are no more I knew wearing anything but black would never feel right again.

I whipe my tears as the sun hits my face. I avoid your name only to stop myself from sinking.

I divide my being in three: before, with and after you

Now you exist in places I can’t reach with my hands and I ache while I trip over our memories and open windows.


So when tomorrow starts without you and I’ll have rising sun and tears in my eyes and coffee I will honor you.
Love of my life.

I feel brand new
I’ve got a new set of goals
No more excuses
No more switching roles
I am me and I can swim myself to safety
Only way out of the gutter is up
It’s about time it goes beyond words it’s going to be tough
All that matters is that I know I’m enough
If I love myself as a person
Somebody will want to **** me rough
The way i like it, I’ve always wanted to be like Alexa from spy kids
Smart and real force to be reckoned with
I’ve got the tools, it’s about time I finished school
I want him admire me while I whipe off his drool
I’ve never wanted to love myself so much before..
I’m such a fool

This whole time I’ve wanted to be a queen
But was never good enough for the king

If world's are ending,
and minds bending,
as darkness comes,
is slow descending,

Upon a people,
still contending,
as light is fading,
& fast ascending,

Doom is coming,
while some pretending,
all for naught,
and not impending,
hiding fear,
so not attending,

Wise spirits,
they are transcending,
stay quiet,
try not offending,
if you need,
will be defending,

A needing hand,
we will be lending,
a broken way,
we tried the mending,
a time for pause,
we stop the pending,
in bad choices,
time your spending,

In a world,
without the blending,
brace as troops,
no longer fending,
broken down,
no longer bending,
lies are told,
a message sending,

If EVERYTHING is really over,
when we kiss the final clover,
strike my flint,
out on the lonely cliff's of Dover
a wheated germ,
a very poison stover,
I hear that sound,
over and over,
a cracking a whip,
Australian drover,

If all the walls are crashing in,
if atmospheres are wearing thin,
if everyone is living "sin"
caught up in an endless spin,
a deep and dark recycle bin,

It's not a war,
that we can win,
take a blow,
to the chin,
tricking us,
a nasty jinn,
lacerated,
our bleeding skin,
liberated,
so wear a grin,
a voodoo doll,
just stick a pin,
yang is lost,
without the yin,

If we cannot just begin,
If only we,
were all akin,

I'm gonna live the last long hour,
the last long minute & give it power,
I raise a hand & never cower,
shout it out from the tallest tower,
taste the sweet and then the sour,

The last fraction of a second,
like I always shoulda,
I don't wanna say I woulda, coulda,
do what you must,

If there are no more tomorrows,
live like there are none,
as no more days with to drown your sorrows,
or any time at all to borrow,

Just tamper sad & past regrets,
to clean from life the sins & sweat,
to swim inside the glistening wet,
live your life,
& do not forget,
to play your chip and place a bet,
if its as good as it can get,
release the need be free to let,
let it go and do not forget,

Live your life,
be ever present,
in the gift,
take a little global turn,
a conscious shift,
a way to learn,
no way to fix
a faulty rift,
winds of change,
are in the drift,
seeking hands,
in ashes sift,
justice served,
& coming swift,

Blink before it's all gone,
a moth to flame,
is truly drawn,
not naïve,
a baby faun,
darkness comes,
before the dawn,
angry angels,
showing brawn,
saving hearts,
we've laid & sawn,
down the beast,
a stupid pawn,
weary ones,
just can't go on,
religious way,
another con,

Live your life in here in the now,
love your life,
get it out some how,
then whipe away a sweaty brow,
& take again a blessed vow,
do it all,
what they allow,

So go,
go ahead,
and live your life,

Poetically.

aw so,
you think you want to love me?
an you think that ya can?
because it's a hell of a thing yeah,
this crazy new plan,

but OK,
so,
let's go,

will you love me- my crazy
my chubby- my lazy?
when I am an orchid
or when I'm a daisy?

when I am annoying
an I'm acting a pain?
will you love me my whacky
as I try to stay sane?

becuz' I'm like the moon
an lovely or not
well I wax an I wane

sigh yes,
even then I will stay true

good, cuz,
mostly I'm peaceful
tranquil and playful
I'm busy with life too
yeah I want me a day full

of loving someone,
who looks JUST like the stars
all shiny an sacred
who'll whipe away scars,

each day I'm a changin'
an each day I will try
right now- yeah evolvin'
I'm not wonderin' on why,

why this or that happens
an why it can't change?

when did he stop to lovin'?
when did we go estranged?

I'll not switch this or that now
I'll  not have rearranged,

I'm not waitin' on nothin'
but I do hope for it all
someone to love me
an to catch if I fall

I just want now to breathe in,
I'm not lookin' for love
instead I'm here waitin'
on the sweet heavens above

to  change my heart -
or his heart
whoever he is
until then I can but sigh now
for I still know true bliss

in simple living pleasures
and the joy of simple things
like barbequed warm sunshine,
an a church bell that still rings
and how I can finally sing now
an man how I LOVE to just sings!

how memories they do tweak us
an how memories they do alter,

as reality it too changes
as the memories they too falter

especially when I am,
I am alone at the alter.

where I'm a prayin' for peace
an a hopin' for rain
to release me the past
any unending pain
to finally let go
of the things felt in vain
whew geesh,

for even those things
they change with the time
an just like this poem
and in every new rhyme

so you think you can love me?
and you'll love me sublime?

Yes.
I do.

I do
love you

I love you boo,
yes yes its true!

hey what can I say
this feeling is so new,
phew, I'm relieved,
it was a conversation
we needed to have
so ..then
let's come together
RIGHT now
very
X-citing possibilities
await
this new love is,
very exciting
quite different
well it feeelzzz just amazing,
to be over the moon in love,
freeing and wonderful,
that MOST special feeling,
you wait like-
4-eva for?

well that feeling,
I know it today,
an I hear it's even called-

"self-love" ❤

I am looking in the mirror,

yes I do ~ I do love you
Ma Cherie!

Ma Cherie © 2017

Trust me not forgotten flower ought
Having heard cried heated left and pleated
Pants havent had a dance to rain with drought
Ladies and gentleman please be seated

I have nightmares hysterical naked
Eyes under dark and just dried of wetness
Here is my word with a whipe so take it
With a kiss and a side of bacon let us

Now at lunch after tearing We eat meat
I haven't seen your gentle feet today
You're sick of breaking bread, and eating wheat
Gives you hives. Like the sky these seats are gray

Maybe years after tears dress in trust fears
You'll drive with me gears grind on yelling ears

Before you do it
Come take my hand
We're going for a walk.

I know just what you're going to do
And I think we need to talk.

We'll go left
Or we'll go right
The choice is up to you.

Our path depends on only one thing
How do you see you?

The path you choose
Is left
So that's the way we'll go.

It's a path of feeling worthless
Just so that you know.

Right now
I need to show you
What you're going to miss.

If you choose to give up now
And give in to the devil's kiss.

Look right there
That's your family
They're at your first preformance.

But I don't think you'll be there
Because you've given up on dance.

Over there
You'll see your grandparents
They're holding your new guitar.

But I don't think you'll be there
Because you've given up who you are.

To you're right
You'll see a guy
He wants to ask you out.

But I don't think you'll be there
Because you've picked a different route.

I would go on
But I won't say more
I think you understand.

Now I want you to answer me this
Do you still want your life to end?

See I was right
Listen to me
This is a better way.

You're heading in a new direction now
So I've got one last thing to say.

Whipe the blood
Off of your hand
And put the blade away.

Your life is worth more than you think
Tomorrow will be a better day.

My book is running out of chapters,
So I keep going back
To the chapter
Where my last goodbyes were said to my childhood.

People say things seem to change
Yet the addresses
Of were your tombstone lives on stays the same.
Your house is draped over the clouds
That hover over the playgrounds.

They say it's cloudy
With a chance of the murky addiction
Crawling up your arm
Like the pin needles you used
To sew up my favorite blanket.

Now my blanket is in purgatory
After I saw you bleeding out on the couch
Wondering where did she go.
The chapters in my book
Doesn't recognize the mother
Who flirts with suicide on her gravestone,
Yet she kisses my wounds
And hold me tightly through stormy nights.

My childhood walked into the room
Witnessing the crime of saving her life
By wrapping this familiar stranger's ****** arms up.

"Where is she?"
"Where is my momma?"
I whipe the tears'
" Momma doesnt live here anymore."

Im finally breaking
The knife in my hand shaking
The blood from my finger tips begin to slip onto the floor, Suddenly theres a knock at my door I try to clean it up I whipe away the tears as they walk in only to see the man thats caused all of this again, Depression cold blades and medication just dont mix its like a sweet little twist it stings a bit but just hurts in the end as the last few drops drip I begin to slip into the darkness again only to wake up and do it all over again is it me or is it you nevermind irts probably him slipping the **** into his veins  again to threaten me once more and out of everything he calls me a ******* ***** well hes a **** got 9 kids and only know 2 its kinda depressing but its hard not to be in a time like this you dont want to be recollecting any of
memories so I lock them in a safe untouched but dangerous dont open it if I do I begin to break down and give in and it all starts over again as the blood drips from my fingertips I began to slip into the darkness yet again...

Her smile can **** or heal your very soul. Ocean waters painted in her Eye's as she looks into the motives of your heart. Her skin is as soft & silky as the inner down feathers of a dove with constellations of freckles perfectly placed. Hair like satin. When she speaks the beauty of her warm tone resonates through you like enchanting music. Gorgeously crafted from head to toe with a noticeable glow. A diligent mother gifted with talent. Impressive her children are charming, gentle & kind a true reflection of her stellar design. She unexpectedly consumes your mind & claims your love. Bedazzled by her beautiful charisma You find yourself a captive of her humor and a hunter of her happiness.
The nobile ruler of her world the prestige princess surrounded by only those she deems as worthy. Every womens envy. Every man's dream. She won't be had, for no suiter is suited for her. Only a knight in shinning armour might quench the longing of her imagination. Mysteriously clever. Finds the adventure in her endeavor. A jewl you can't find with a treasure map. Solid gold ticker her wit is quicker. A colorful butterfly by nature always in flight. Her grin is priceless & time stops with every smile. One of many keys her confidence is stunning on her. Honesty is her cheif virtue. She's a courageous  bubbly delight who never backs down from an honorable fight. Cross her twice and pay the price but she'll let you live because she forgives. Definitely has grit just won't quit until it's time to knit. She is the maze master and the missing puzzle piece. An awe-in-spi-ring companion. Untamed & magical her spell is already upon you. A marvel with merit. A guardian angel to some a gift for others. I sense I've waited since the dawn of our galaxy to whipe away her tears & calm her fears. To hold her against this rugged shell. So very close for her to draw out from the unbridled compassion. Letting her submerge into the depths of my being to harvest comfort & peace from within a fundamental warrior spirit. Armed with iron will, valor, integrity, versatility & righteousness. Sworn to an oath I will use these traits to battle heroically in life or even death to sheild her naked soul from creations malice. To protect, shelter, provide, nourish & cloak her fragile body. To put light in the darkness. Fulfilling her desires & pleasure is a privilege I honor. My intentions, only to gratefully share our eternal connection bestowed by an essential heavenly grace. Freed from doubt by intimate caring and loyalty. Cleansed of spite by our affection. Two minds in sync dancing with one another  harboring clear understanding as we Flourish in our blessed lives. Coalesced beating as one the hearth of our hearts burns bright with the remarkable love we share together. Christina Baldwin, she is a breathtaking miracle.

Sorrowful souls fall down around me..
Restless hearts and buried thoughts
surrounding.
Deep breaths and weary eyes..
Im drounding
Found myself, im alive.
Astounding.
Give an applause for the people with courage.
No more drounding.
Im back to the surface.
Can anyone live a life unnoticed.
Get up, show who you are.
EXPLODE IT!
Are dreams may come true if we all try.
Dont ever give up no such thing as goodbyes.
I whipe these tears, from these weary eyes.
I was drounding but, im alright.
Im still alive.
If i was unnoticed.
I would've died.

The love of a parent is to hard to explain

It's when your life isnt just about you anymore
It's about that tiny human life
that you have created
its when their life becomes
more important then yours

When your universe becomes off kiltered
and slowly revolved away from you
and centered itself around them
They've got you wrapped around thier finger
and thats the way its meant to be.

You would do ANYTHING for them.
Whipe away every tear
Grab your baseball bat and beat the crap
out of the person who created them.

Check under the bed
for those fictitious monsters
just so you can see that fear
dispear from their eyes.

Hold them close
and in your heart.
Selfish thoughts
forever gone
Its not just about you anymore

Its all about them.

I want you to teach me what love is…
I want you to puzzle pieces of this broken heart building trust with every shattered sentiment of this abandoned purity.
I want to listen to your heart beat describe my inner beauty
Within shadows of your intrinsic sweet ballads.

Sweat tears of joy while you are masquerading an earthly angel with every inch of my presage albatross.

I want someone who will give me a prayer, when they's nothing else to offer.
Someone who will give me a smile when they's little less to give.

Remind me how deeply I'm adored over and over again - because every repise divulges pleasure when the chorus hits a break-point of repitition.

Spill unforseen rays of silver moons to glitter my dark sides with blessings of golden pots. My blood to reach a boiling point orchestrated by conductors of your inferno touches, as you gently whipe the dust of this holy flash.

Living is not by choice, Christ; I want someone I would die for.
Meditate under spells of her beauty hypnosis.
My vision to deminish with the sunset of your perfection. With crystal streams of black strings, as the waterfall of your hair lands peacefully at the river banks of your luxuriant shoulders.

I want us to fight till we can't stand each other...
I want us fight till we can't look at each other...
Yet remain together like a kappa logo; a depiction of true love in a series of fury.

I want you to teach me not to forget you, till leaves become broken hearts and shade conquers the village once again. Do things to me that will leave a distasteful essence of any lingering woman before my sight in a cloud of shameful auras.

I want you to love this child as if he's your own, and teach him the first step of being a real man. Shower him with hugs and kisses that ought to polish his shining armour, so you can notice your sheep amongst the million.

I want you to teach me what love is, so I can reflect the given image of this heart in a bundle of loving mirrors.

There's a tear on my cheek
It's for you
The plans we made
They didn't go through
There's a tear on my cheek
And the pain won't settle
The happiness we shared
Went to hell though
There's a tear on my cheek
That is filled with sorrow
I gave you my love
but you only borrowed
There's a tear on my cheek
That I whipe away
Becaue im a new woman
Starting today

I Walk in meadow
I sleep in the flower bed
And then i hit my head
What was that
it was a tree
oh no!
now i have to ***
i'll go in the shadow
Behind Those Trees
And whipe my **** with those leafs

Everyone seems to say the same
It'll be okay, It will get better, Don't give up, I'm here for you
Yet, I am not okay nor will I be, it will not get better because it never has, I have given up & I will no longer keep trying, & when I'm broken down into millions of pieces no one is ever there to pick me up from the ground, no one is there to whipe my tears, no one is there to hear my fears
Everyone says things to comfort you, instead of comforting you
Everyone listens, yet no one understands
No one ever cares until its too late for anything to be done
Everyone waits until that day in which everything is gone

Reminiscing about when those feelings were real
the way you'd make me feel
& giving me strength of steel
how I'd play with your beard
& you'd whisper in my ear
all them beautiful things I wish I'd still hear
from the day you've disappeared
I've been stuck on this hamster wheel
going no where, but here
trying to run away from these fears
with out you to whipe my tears
so I drown in the thoughts that although I felt you close, you were no where near

You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen.
So I go up to you and say hi and become friends.
Friends.
Friends.
I wish I could just tell you I love you.
But I won't be able to take it if you don't feel the same.
My dad just recently told me he got a job and we're moving.
Far away.
I love you.
I want to be with you for the rest of my life.
I tell her.
SHE FEELS THE SAME.
We kiss and it's wonderful.
But I remember.
I'm going to miss you I say.
I will miss you too she says.
We kiss.
We say goodbye.
Tears roll down her cheek.
I whipe them away with my thumb and say.
I love you.
And everyone else around you loves you.
It will be okay.
she looks at me and smiles.
Her smile.
I get in the car.
We start rolling away.
I'll never see her again.
I love her.

Flashes of memories

Blood Red, Death Grey, and Fear Yellow

Waking hours turn to Replays

An unwanted Movie Show

On the screen of my life

Destruction, Assault, and Reckless Harm

A house of cards that fell apart

As I stumbled to fight back the Replays

This process has to end

One day I shall become stronger

I shall whipe these reels clean

They will cease to play.