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"slighted" poems
love, the most destructive vulnerability obstructed by the custom of guarded humility that can never pursue any interest in purity to keep the living whole in peace and endless security      oh, violent vulnerability      slighted by my words      whom betray nothing      of my heart's mind      but clear cut diamonds      of the coolest civility      for mild understanding      to chain the enraged truth      seeking to speak      through these irises      the purest contradiction      to the ice burning skin
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Jun 7, 2011
Jun 7, 2011 at 9:58 PM UTC
vulnerability
Dusk. I won't paint you another sunset, another beautiful striped sea; no, not today. Picture instead a smooth discolored surface on which a firmly gripped stone was roughly ground, causing a painful chalky screech; the misemployed rock left vague yellow scars and lavender bruises on the horizon; the sun cowers behind them fearfully, distraught by the undue violence; this is the sunset I experienced at your fragrant side, and wondered - not unlike that astre - what could possibly justify the yellow, spectral scars in my heart, the bright, undue violence brought upon my pride, and the slighted sunset in my soul. This is Dusk.
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May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 9:05 PM UTC
Sonnet at Dusk
A thousand tumbles takes a bottle in the sea- a thousand dashes and whirls and swoops. A million grains of sand takes that bottle in the sea, to break apart, to come to me in fragments like a snowflake fractal. How many mermaid miles till she hands that glass to me? For I've taken out my very-ness, for you. - And my crossness. My judgement and wrath. I've taken out slight hot breathe                (for you to melt the ice on your whiskers.) I've taken out my toes when they are reaching for yours in the cavernous blanket world  through the forest of our lazy limbs. I've taken out my righteousness and my second guessing. I've taken out for you (a surprise, I was going to surprise you!) all the times you were going to be wrong to me-           and to wrong me... taken them out to sea, you see? In that bottle, pretty bottle. Broken now like too many vows. I've taken out my knowing best and finding better. I've taken out the half moon of your thumbnail as well ...I will miss that in my night sky- (perhaps I'll keep that after all.) I'll take out the complacency of holding your hand getting out of a chair. and the mindless strokes as you explain my commonplace crazy to simpler minds- I'll take out the very-ness of me, and the we-ness of us. and fill a bottle with a the brine of a thousand tears from hundred slights not slighted quite yet. I fill the bottle and gift the sea with the softness of you and the brashness of me. A thousand turnabouts it takes to reach you on the beach, a sea glass diamond ring, engage me you engaging man- and the tides tickles my feet in anticipation, marry me. marry me. just a sea glass promise for a mermaid bride waiting for the sailor man to sing her sweetly with salt on his lips Just a sea glass lullaby from the man who loves me so. Marry me, marry me And we drink sparkling water from a sea glass flute and we drink all the us and we drink all the we for sea glass could never hold a second in, sea glass is far too vain not to shine in the sun fanning your invite out in a spectrum of color that a small child's hand creates when he holds it up to the rays. Spills out all of my intentions Spoiled child, loved child, Spills out all of my intentions carelessly on the sandy floor for the tides to swallow whole. My sea glass prism chucked unceremoniously back to sea and me the mermaid bride left at her own alter... But a seashell to your ear and her my wailing sorrow calls, 'marry me, sailor. marry me.' sahn 8/5/14
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Aug 4, 2014
Aug 4, 2014 at 11:42 PM UTC
Sailor Groom and Mermaid Bride
A thousand tumbles takes a bottle in the sea- a thousand dashes and whirls and swoops. A million grains of sand takes that bottle in the sea, to break apart, to come to me in fragments like a snowflake fractal. How many mermaid miles till she hands that glass to me? For I've taken out my very-ness, for you. - And my crossness. My judgement and wrath. I've taken out slight hot breathe                (for you to melt the ice on your whiskers.) I've taken out my toes when they are reaching for yours in the cavernous blanket world  through the forest of our lazy limbs. I've taken out my righteousness and my second guessing. I've taken out for you (a surprise, I was going to surprise you!) all the times you were going to be wrong to me-           and to wrong me... taken them out to sea, you see? In that bottle, pretty bottle. Broken now like too many vows. I've taken out my knowing best and finding better. I've taken out the half moon of your thumbnail as well ...I will miss that in my night sky- (perhaps I'll keep that after all.) I'll take out the complacency of holding your hand getting out of a chair. and the mindless strokes as you explain my commonplace crazy to simpler minds- I'll take out the very-ness of me, and the we-ness of us. and fill a bottle with a the brine of a thousand tears from hundred slights not slighted quite yet. I fill the bottle and gift the sea with the softness of you and the brashness of me. A thousand turnabouts it takes to reach you on the beach, a sea glass diamond ring, engage me you engaging man- and the tides tickles my feet in anticipation, marry me. marry me. just a sea glass promise for a mermaid bride waiting for the sailor man to sing her sweetly with salt on his lips Just a sea glass lullaby from the man who loves me so. Marry me, marry me And we drink sparkling water from a sea glass flute and we drink all the us and we drink all the we for sea glass could never hold a second in, sea glass is far too vain not to shine in the sun fanning your invite out in a spectrum of color that a small child's hand creates when he holds it up to the rays. Spills out all of my intentions Spoiled child, loved child, Spills out all of my intentions carelessly on the sandy floor for the tides to swallow whole. My sea glass prism chucked unceremoniously back to sea and me the mermaid bride left at her own alter... But a seashell to your ear and her my wailing sorrow calls, 'marry me, sailor. marry me.' sahn 8/5/14
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Duncan Gray cam here to woo, Ha, ha, the wooing o’t, On blythe Yule Night when we were fu’, Ha, ha, the wooing o’t, Maggie coost her head fu’ high, Looked asklent and unco skeigh, Gart poor Duncan stand abeigh; Ha, ha, the wooing o’t. Duncan fleeched, and Duncan prayed; Ha, ha, the wooing o’t, Meg was deaf as Ailsa Craig; Ha, ha, the wooing o’t, Duncan sighed baith out and in, Grat his een baith bleer’t and blin’, Spak o’ lowpin ower a linn; Ha, ha, the wooing o’t. Time and Chance are but a tide, Ha, ha, the wooing o’t, Slighted love is sair to bide, Ha, ha, the wooing o’t, Shall I, like a fool, quoth he, For a haughty hizzie dee? She may *** to -France for me! Ha, ha, the wooing o’t. How it comes let Doctors tell, Ha, ha, the wooing o’t, Meg grew sick as he grew hale, Ha, ha, the wooing o’t, Something in her ***** wrings, For relief a sigh she brings; And O her een, they spak sic things! Ha, ha, the wooing o’t. Duncan was a lad o’ grace, Ha, ha, the wooing o’t, Maggie’s was a piteous case, Ha, ha, the wooing o’t, Duncan could na be her death, Swelling Pity smoored his Wrath; Now they’re crouse and canty baith, Ha, ha, the wooing o’t.
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4.1k
Duncan Gray
It is quite interesting The way in which women can proceed through life, In such a grossly hypocritical manner. Scorning love, And mocking their lovers openly, As if to say, your feelings don't count, Only to later on raise their voices in condemnation Of their slighted partner, Thereby proving that they are without a doubt The far more dishonest And petty, of the sexes.
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Sep 2, 2012
Sep 2, 2012 at 11:55 AM UTC
Hypocrisy
They'll find me hanging upside-down. Ankles bruised by the ropes From which you strung me up for field dressing. Lacerations where you’d cut my throat, Bled me dry, spilt my guts, And broke past my ribs, to uproot my heart. Can they carbon date the remains of my reputation? Trace the ****** back to your mouth? Will they know the cause of death to be the Malignant rumors you couldn’t help but spew? Your false words: the final nail in my coffin. Do you regret ever letting them past your lips? Slowly, my reputation crippled by the aggressive Cancer that was your embellished utterance. And it didn’t bother you in the slightest. You marveled at the sight of my struggle. And amazing how these things seem to spread. One caustic, contagious, breath from you was all it took. Though the slanderous virus wouldn't make it 'til morning; Addicts to their fix; gossips, crave your empty words. Like ******* the rush is intense but brief. Interest fleeting, they move on. Off to the next peddler. For all these inconveniences, I thank you. Thank you for lifting the masks that curtained your distorted self. How blind I must have been not to see it outright. Another leech, feeding on slighted words. And to think; all it costed you to buy in Was me...
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Mar 9, 2015
Mar 9, 2015 at 8:10 AM UTC
Malignant Rumor
Perhaps we were both waiting for words to come from the speechless; with our hands outstretched, feeling for some infinite nebula we called love. I liked the way you saw form in the formless, a dreamer from the sleeping, and the ghost from the living (But the real ghosts and dreamers were us) Sea-sorrow would sink our ships of wander-lust And we'd rebuild with planks of heartache; new sails of empathy and a hull big enough for everything else in between Some moments were better than others, Some forgettable, others memorable your lips, my eyes, your skin, my skies; the cavities of silence in our conversations. I remember, when you tried to blink away the sea-change Rubbing waves of apathy, so endless and unrelenting, from your face Watching you fight the tempest moved me and my lungs took in so much sin It made my bones ache with guilt; the fire of my desires, the prison of my soul. Perhaps we were both waiting for the proverbial hand, that infinite warmth, to reach down from the heavens. The hand that moulded us; the hand we slighted for love.
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Apr 27, 2014
Apr 27, 2014 at 3:07 PM UTC
Sailors
The Avenger from Oklahoma she was a doll faced little lady looking so demure looking so sweet she would bat her eyes and smile and then knock you off your feet you see she was the avenger looking for men who had done wrong she carried a snub-nosed 38 and she would blow you away for a song seems her sister had been slighted left all alone and broken hearted threw herself out of the window and Annie finished what she started she found the ******* who slighted her sis made him fall for her with her magic lips she shot him in his own bedroom and walked away swinging her hips but that wasn't the end of her journey she decided revenge her life's passion making heart breakers pay the price working as a model in design and fashion she would lure in all the playboys make them melt with her charms and just when they were ready to cash in she'd put a bullet in each of his arms she would disappear into the night keeping the cops off her trail her legend went on for over 20 years most swearing it was just a fantasy tale Gomer Lepoet...
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Nov 2, 2013
Nov 2, 2013 at 10:59 PM UTC
The Avenger from Oklahoma
Reaching out for what delivers its existence The thirsty tree extends its limbs further to the sun An encounter craved, but still valuing its bestowment Forever longing anxiously for that connection The summer winds carrying this hopeful firefly         Emitting the lonely light that calls out for another Releasing these signals in hopes of discovering you Again a flicker and finally the mate is matched Sprinting to the sea, the relentless river runs Passionately carving its way through the slighted landscape Obviously enraptured by its desirous charge Awaiting the second its frenzied rush reaches home Like the sun now churning our eager energy Overthrowing senses with this rampantly raging need Overwhelming magnetism lures us toward temptation Inescapably mesmerized by this sensation Profound in nature, driven by this timeless dance Sophisticatedly conjoining into fulfillment A base for these unbridled electrical impulses The quintessence of our fusion now realized We are the union of two wandering forces Ignition progresses affectionate meditations Quietly absorbing the synthesizing of segments Once unrelated, now entangled eternally
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Nov 2, 2012
Nov 2, 2012 at 2:17 PM UTC
The Natural Progression
O Venus, beauty of the skies, To whom a thousand temples rise, Gaily false in gentle smiles, Full of love-perplexing wiles; O goddess, from my heart remove The wasting cares and pains of love. If ever thou hast kindly heard A song in soft distress preferred, Propitious to my tuneful vow, A gentle goddess, hear me now. Descend, thou bright immortal guest, In all thy radiant charms confessed. Thou once didst leave almighty Jove And all the golden roofs above: The car thy wanton sparrows drew, Hovering in air they lightly flew; As to my bower they winged their way I saw their quivering pinions play. The birds dismissed (while you remain) Bore back their empty car again: Then you, with looks divinely mild, In every heavenly feature smiled, And asked what new complaints I made, And why I called you to my aid? What frenzy in my ***** raged, And by what cure to be assuaged? What gentle youth I would allure, Whom in my artful toils secure? Who does thy tender heart subdue, Tell me, my Sappho, tell me who? Though now he shuns thy longing arms, He soon shall court thy slighted charms; Though now thy offerings he despise, He soon to thee shall sacrifice; Though now he freezes, he soon shall burn, And be thy victim in his turn. Celestial visitant, once more Thy needful presence I implore. In pity come, and ease my grief, Bring my distempered soul relief, Favour thy suppliant's hidden fires, And give me all my heart desires.
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2.7k
A Hymn To Venus
Sometimes you see her admiring herself In the mirror that's hanging next to the shelf. And when she does it, oh, how she shines! Is that, dear cat, how you practice your lines? She seems not to care if we pay attention, But maybe right here I ought to make mention That being an actress, she's disinclined To always reveal what's going on in her mind. And she'll never, never tell you her age-- Aphrodite, the cat of the stage. She says, "You know…I'm not one to cuss, But when I am hungry, I WILL make a fuss." Yes, she can certainly put on a scene And act as though she's an importunate queen. She says, "My dears, if I'm weak or mild, I'll never drive the audience wild." That critical scene is repeated each night-- A regular tour de force all right. Yes, it's best to try to assuage Aphrodite, the cat of the stage. Her eyes were surely her greatest feature; She THUS scoured the town for a drama teacher, "Who," she says dolefully, "told me one night he Could make me a star. ME: Aphrodite!" But as it turned out, ol' Mr. Mittens Made her instead a mom of eight kittens. "But," she says, "THAT'S between you and me. You know how I like my privacy." It's good to always be on the same page With Aphrodite, the cat of the stage. One thing you learn is for her it's the norm To act a bit slighted when asked to perform. She must be totally in the mood Or else she behaves in a manner subdued. And heaven help you if you are neglectful Of if her audience is disrespectful. She'll exit the room like a "cat" out of hell, And you may not see her for quite a long spell. You never want to see her rage-- Aphrodite, the cat of the stage. She sighs and says, "It's such a shame that Few playwrights write good roles for a cat. My friends say--when they see me upset-- 'Commercials might be a better bet.' My talents, however, as you might have guessed, Best fit the stage. But now I must rest." With that she lifted her nose in the air And strutted out of the room with great flair. It's always nice: advice from a sage Like Aphrodite, the cat of the stage. -by Bob B (1-24-20)
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Jan 25, 2020
Jan 25, 2020 at 8:44 AM UTC
Aphrodite, the Cat of the Stage
Sometimes you see her admiring herself In the mirror that's hanging next to the shelf. And when she does it, oh, how she shines! Is that, dear cat, how you practice your lines? She seems not to care if we pay attention, But maybe right here I ought to make mention That being an actress, she's disinclined To always reveal what's going on in her mind. And she'll never, never tell you her age-- Aphrodite, the cat of the stage. She says, "You know…I'm not one to cuss, But when I am hungry, I WILL make a fuss." Yes, she can certainly put on a scene And act as though she's an importunate queen. She says, "My dears, if I'm weak or mild, I'll never drive the audience wild." That critical scene is repeated each night-- A regular tour de force all right. Yes, it's best to try to assuage Aphrodite, the cat of the stage. Her eyes were surely her greatest feature; She THUS scoured the town for a drama teacher, "Who," she says dolefully, "told me one night he Could make me a star. ME: Aphrodite!" But as it turned out, ol' Mr. Mittens Made her instead a mom of eight kittens. "But," she says, "THAT'S between you and me. You know how I like my privacy." It's good to always be on the same page With Aphrodite, the cat of the stage. One thing you learn is for her it's the norm To act a bit slighted when asked to perform. She must be totally in the mood Or else she behaves in a manner subdued. And heaven help you if you are neglectful Of if her audience is disrespectful. She'll exit the room like a "cat" out of hell, And you may not see her for quite a long spell. You never want to see her rage-- Aphrodite, the cat of the stage. She sighs and says, "It's such a shame that Few playwrights write good roles for a cat. My friends say--when they see me upset-- 'Commercials might be a better bet.' My talents, however, as you might have guessed, Best fit the stage. But now I must rest." With that she lifted her nose in the air And strutted out of the room with great flair. It's always nice: advice from a sage Like Aphrodite, the cat of the stage. -by Bob B (1-24-20)
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<!> Four Irises tall & gallant, looking though slighted worn out, a tad bedraggled they are springtime survivor stragglers of the Great Spring Weather Battle. living in an open trench, battle conditions, wind-whipped by constant strong breezes, raked by intermittent machine gun rain, familiar weapons of the “handover” season loyal guardians of their pinpoint position, remaining on duty, standing at attention, dignified amidst the serene, nearly summer, now, accepting quietude & gratitude of surround soundings arrow-straight, in dress uniforms of royally purple, four lead a cohort of unbloomed green fellows, protecting their charge, an ancient marker of time, rusted-green bronze sundial, symbol of continuity these four, boon companions to human and animal, shall persist long after I cease to dabble in this art, they greet their admirers in full regalia, every year, long, long may they live, die and be yet reborn! here, in place, when we arrived four decades ago, a tiny forever, changelings heading a processional of the summer season, greeting all with a simple story of constance of change, of beauty, leading our Summertime Commencement Exercises May 26 ~ 27, 2023
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May 27, 2023
May 27, 2023 at 4:55 PM UTC
Summertime Commencement Exercises
my goddess dies each dawn with the rising of the sun and is reborn; renewed in the sick, slighted mannerism she awakens. even with noticeable differences the sky projects her face as she lightens my burdens and burdens my nights with her glowing. this shining has come for time that it's been needed where i've stood; judged for the sinful mannerism of my paganism. but you're lost in the twilight; daydreaming in the middle of the night that day will break the dark and again, you'll see. i've never needed any light for my goddess is here; she's been for ages and she will be once i'm gone.
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Oct 13, 2012
Oct 13, 2012 at 5:12 AM UTC
deity
I, in sorrow forever live and swell. A thousand pangs and more each hour. Alone to wait and weep for misery's bell And bleed in Hell's Stygian bower. Marred by silence, marred alone, Obsequies possessed and slighted. Death in heart, death in home, But, my love, redemption, sighted. The beauteous Cherub, me heart adored, From the arms of Nyx delivered; My bliss forever with her restored And from our love, death did slither.
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Jul 5, 2014
Jul 5, 2014 at 8:48 PM UTC
Regain
(Proverbs, viii. 22-31) "Ere God had built the mountains, Or raised the fruitful hills; Before he fill'd the fountains That feed the running rills; In me from everlasting, The wonderful I am, Found pleasures never wasting, And Wisdom is my name. "When, like a tent to dwell in, He spread the skies abroad, And swathed about the swelling Of Ocean's mighty flood; He wrought by weight and measure, And I was with Him then: Myself the Father's pleasure, And mine, the sons of men." Thus Wisdom's words discover Thy glory and Thy grace, Thou everlasting lover Of our unworthy race! Thy gracious eye survey'd us Ere stars were seen above; In wisdom thou hast made us, And died for us in love. And couldst thou be delighted With creatures such as we, Who, when we saw Thee, slighted, And nail'd Thee to a tree? Unfathomable wonder, And mystery divine! The voice that speaks in thunder, Says, "Sinner, I am thine!"
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2k
Wisdom
Already seven cars, I pull in late. Put my keys by the candles and stare at the lake. Sit down, sip your wine. What's in? Where have you been? How long since? You never drop a line. You must be busy. I avoid your gaze and your hand grazes my thigh and brings us eye to eye. Ready for the bar, we barely ate. No shame in the champagne I consume, but I assume it's the fine wine I spewed all over the ballroom. Took it too far, it's getting late. You don't want me to stay. Uninvited,how you always made me feel anyways. Turn in slighted, ******* futon. Last time we met we slept side by side, you and me, two reasons to care. The letter and the locket you kept and tried to hide, I think I need some fresh air. light a cig and figure some things are better left unsaid. Always tempted to trigger thoughts long dead. Staring at you, asleep in your bed, linen, lace. I always was a ***** case. Your thoughts leak out of your head, thin in space. I find them on your face. Better not be here when you wake, the next time we meet it'll be too late, so hey, by the way, you looked beautiful today.
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Sep 9, 2010
Sep 9, 2010 at 10:35 PM UTC
Hey, By The Way
I remember what we used to have Hang outs, On the couch Cuddle fests With nothing but your neck to nest And nuzzle on the other’s. Head rests And hands link Subtle winks Nothing surpasses this. But when you say what you said And want to “take a break” To me that means a rest A rest from it all And this was for your sake. So i took the space You needed Feeded your mind and heart With the gap holding us apart So you could get the perspective you desired. And a part of me admired you for it. But now that you revealed That youre back with him I have nothing short of fury And i want to bury My feelings And act like it doesnt matter Act like i dont have a heart I dont hear it in my chest There’s no pitter patter. Because now i feel tricked and empty. You didnt want an end And i stupidly agreed. That taking a leave would be best Little did i know Upon my return, id be blessed With the knowledge of you and your ex reunited. I feel slighted. Because you didnt want a break You wanted a break UP. Because who ever wants a break? She Apparently. Its a shame to me she didnt know the difference. And didnt have the heart to tell me they were back together… Until now. And now There WAS a break... because We’re broken. And i dont know how to mend it.
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Aug 25, 2013
Aug 25, 2013 at 10:56 AM UTC
A Break
I was not invited So I didn't come Feeling sad and slighted My thoughts begin to run....... ................................ Meaningless and worthless Fate spun it's unforgiving wheel Leaving a life that's mirthless Dealing sorrow with gleeful zeal I find myself alone again The wheel can only spin around Ending where it begins On familiar battleground On my shoulder sets the crow Memories continually fanned Very slowly I sink below Standing firmly in quicksand ©Pauline Russell
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Mar 26, 2017
Mar 26, 2017 at 10:47 PM UTC
Not Invited
I’m in the same place as all of yous, but I’m absent minded and got misanthropic contempt, like anthropomorphic deer by the highway watching Cadillac surgery. But deep cardiac compassion, all you idiots are inside of me, lashing out with lively love. Scorns used to scar, but now I smile. **** the struggle you’re on, and put your shoes on the final platform. It’s not truth mama, it’s death. Have you tried it? Me either, we’re both among breathers. Now, tell me about your facts in expressions unconditioned by human history. Tell me about those bats on your shoulders that babble obscenities like Black Beard’s parrot, named ****** He speaks not of this century, so his ***** are now children’s songs, sung around plastic bonfires, trying to roast electrical socket covers. To no avail.   Born human mightiest Socially slighted and far-sighted Let’s bash through hierarchy I said bash you P.C. crusader cold as a computer slaughtering the people’s good language in the name of removing something savage instead of asserting a new image A true sign of the artist but I’m no artist
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Dec 15, 2013
Dec 15, 2013 at 12:00 AM UTC
Curses
Six girls. Four bunk beds. Freshman year. College. We are all nervous. Elbows and knees. Awkward. Like being packed into a cattle car. Rewind 6 years. Homeless, living in the back of a minivan. Three children, and our mother. Sleeping together in a single motel bed Nervous for morning. Elbows and knees. I am built for building. Made to create. Hands like carpenters, I make a home out of anywhere I go. Learned to carry it on my back. To take things with me. And now, I am almost nineteen year old and I have been living out of boxes for the past two months. Out of containers filled with my own clothing. I feel like I can’t find stillness. Or have silence. I haven’t been alone in two months. I am sleeping with the lights on. They call this temporary housing, For all the students who applied late. Like me. But I didn't think I would be here. But I was raised poor, remember the minivan, so a free college education tasted like.. Like you’re starving, and your mom’s food stamps haven’t came in yet, and you’re at the grocery store, and its Saturday, and they’re handing out free samples. And I feel lucky. And I feel blessed. And I feel grateful. And I feel slighted. And I feel frustrated. And I feel tired. And I feel angry. Angry that I am this easy to tear down. That I am ticker tape, salvage yard, construction zone. That the four walls of the home I've tried to build inside of myself can be so easily burned down. Can be destroyed. A fire alarm in my chest, and a flooded basement. That I can’t find peace in the only home I've ever had. There are motel signs. Blinking, three am, and my mother’s credit card is being declined. And my little sister won’t stop crying. And we are in a homeless shelter when I’m 6. And we’re in another when I’m 8. And another when I’m 13. I’m 19 in a few months, And this dorm feels like another one. And I’m convinced they build these places, on purpose. Temporarily temporary. To show us how temporary we all are. That we can’t take anything with us. That I can't take anything with me. Where ever it is that I am going. Where ever it is that I might end up. I’m just praying.. Praying there is a warm bed to sleep in when I get there.
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Sep 21, 2014
Sep 21, 2014 at 1:07 AM UTC
Expanded Housing ; College Edition
Six girls. Four bunk beds. Freshman year. College. We are all nervous. Elbows and knees. Awkward. Like being packed into a cattle car. Rewind 6 years. Homeless, living in the back of a minivan. Three children, and our mother. Sleeping together in a single motel bed Nervous for morning. Elbows and knees. I am built for building. Made to create. Hands like carpenters, I make a home out of anywhere I go. Learned to carry it on my back. To take things with me. And now, I am almost nineteen year old and I have been living out of boxes for the past two months. Out of containers filled with my own clothing. I feel like I can’t find stillness. Or have silence. I haven’t been alone in two months. I am sleeping with the lights on. They call this temporary housing, For all the students who applied late. Like me. But I didn't think I would be here. But I was raised poor, remember the minivan, so a free college education tasted like.. Like you’re starving, and your mom’s food stamps haven’t came in yet, and you’re at the grocery store, and its Saturday, and they’re handing out free samples. And I feel lucky. And I feel blessed. And I feel grateful. And I feel slighted. And I feel frustrated. And I feel tired. And I feel angry. Angry that I am this easy to tear down. That I am ticker tape, salvage yard, construction zone. That the four walls of the home I've tried to build inside of myself can be so easily burned down. Can be destroyed. A fire alarm in my chest, and a flooded basement. That I can’t find peace in the only home I've ever had. There are motel signs. Blinking, three am, and my mother’s credit card is being declined. And my little sister won’t stop crying. And we are in a homeless shelter when I’m 6. And we’re in another when I’m 8. And another when I’m 13. I’m 19 in a few months, And this dorm feels like another one. And I’m convinced they build these places, on purpose. Temporarily temporary. To show us how temporary we all are. That we can’t take anything with us. That I can't take anything with me. Where ever it is that I am going. Where ever it is that I might end up. I’m just praying.. Praying there is a warm bed to sleep in when I get there.
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Miseo Something I had never thought I'd feel Towards you Against you The other side of my coin Miseo In the depth of my heart My thoughts Burning up the back of my throat Stinging-tainted Raw Miseo Whispered Echoing in my Psyche Slighted where I never thought I could be My friend Miseo In the softest part Tender, needy Pathetically -gullible Miseo To you who were suppose to hold me When the world fell down Shattered And buried me When love faltered And I am at my loneliest Thelo How I had hoped Prayed I who never believed in much That you were true That you were something special A treasure worth keeping Not marked up-overpriced trash Like the rest of the world Miseo The part of me Longing For you
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Oct 7, 2012
Oct 7, 2012 at 5:11 PM UTC
Fides’ Betrayal
by rgpage together with my thoughts at last i sit alone and wonder why. i lived so loosely in the past that now all hopes in life must die. in youth i carried goals to be with all the power that i had then. the skies were blue and cloudless seas and every day would bring new friends. as i grew older love would fade for this life so richly lived. my thoughts of friends would soon abate as would the trust in them i’d give. the skies turned dark and threatened rain and so for shelter my soul would run. caring not who’s in my way caring only now to see the sun. the bellies of the clouds turned black i stood alone to face my fate. the fear went surging down my back i looked for help some open gate. the doors all closed from my own deeds i’d slighted people in the past. no one was there in time of need so alone i faced this foe at last. death did not come to my surprise although my soul was scarred by rain. i looked up toward the clearing skies in hopes of life to start again. the skies did clear and life i’d find i lived again for friends i yearned. i relived youth but for a time until those clouds of rain returned. those lonely clouds why do they come what is this life that i must live? why can’t there only be the sun and why  can’t trust i always give?
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Jan 5, 2014
Jan 5, 2014 at 10:20 PM UTC
clouds
Immortal, Immortal, my very own Immortal, can you still even hear me? I wanted to mention another, but instead I am calling out your name. Immortal. That is how I always called you, little darling; you really are like a little darling, with your bulbous brown eyes and solid red mouth. With your sweet-flavoured jokes and archaic compulsions. You are like a buoyant flower that often speaks from its inside. You smell just like the black sweater you are always encircled in; you smell like one array of strawberries, lavenders, and musk blended into one wondrous potion. Ha-ha. You are wild; you are free; you are the inborn sweat of stormy nature itself. But to me you are the one chosen. You are like a youth that never blossoms; a sky that knows not the litter of adulthood. You are my sweet, my elegance, my butterfly. But you always failed to catch a butterfly. Once there was one who briefly landed on your shoulder; in an attempt to hurl his little self back into the solidarity of the skies. You sang about the whole world like the moon did; but you were never incarcerated within your universe. Instead, you created even a more passionate one. Immortal, Immortal, where are but you, my love? I peruse His verses and cite His name every day; in order that you feel my affection and touch even just the slighted shadow of mine, in your dreams. Bygone memories are still rowing within my head; and as their sheen touches my lips; I am sure I shall see you again, when He decrees. Ah, Immortal, how I want to see you become pure; and unite yourself with Him within his fortress, my love flowing beside you, freeing you from this world's ungodly torture. Obicham te. I miss you, my dear, more than hysteria can assume; nor any disparity can have thought of. My morning dew, my noon, my sunset, all are but attended in thee. Obicham te. Obicham te. Obicham te. I miss you so much. Sadly, perhaps you'll never know that.
0
Dec 22, 2013
Dec 22, 2013 at 8:21 AM UTC
Little Darling
Immortal, Immortal, my very own Immortal, can you still even hear me? I wanted to mention another, but instead I am calling out your name. Immortal. That is how I always called you, little darling; you really are like a little darling, with your bulbous brown eyes and solid red mouth. With your sweet-flavoured jokes and archaic compulsions. You are like a buoyant flower that often speaks from its inside. You smell just like the black sweater you are always encircled in; you smell like one array of strawberries, lavenders, and musk blended into one wondrous potion. Ha-ha. You are wild; you are free; you are the inborn sweat of stormy nature itself. But to me you are the one chosen. You are like a youth that never blossoms; a sky that knows not the litter of adulthood. You are my sweet, my elegance, my butterfly. But you always failed to catch a butterfly. Once there was one who briefly landed on your shoulder; in an attempt to hurl his little self back into the solidarity of the skies. You sang about the whole world like the moon did; but you were never incarcerated within your universe. Instead, you created even a more passionate one. Immortal, Immortal, where are but you, my love? I peruse His verses and cite His name every day; in order that you feel my affection and touch even just the slighted shadow of mine, in your dreams. Bygone memories are still rowing within my head; and as their sheen touches my lips; I am sure I shall see you again, when He decrees. Ah, Immortal, how I want to see you become pure; and unite yourself with Him within his fortress, my love flowing beside you, freeing you from this world's ungodly torture. Obicham te. I miss you, my dear, more than hysteria can assume; nor any disparity can have thought of. My morning dew, my noon, my sunset, all are but attended in thee. Obicham te. Obicham te. Obicham te. I miss you so much. Sadly, perhaps you'll never know that.
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7
from the high balcony, when i view the cityscape is still under the spell of chill. early morning mist the happy daughters of winter, dance in an intoxicated mood, swirling, twisting and quickly changing mind, in a lively display of female grace, now running away to dance with romantic wind, meeting confidently his challenge. then the sun, red faced, impatient tries to force his way in, the female power of mist is now evident, his attempts didn't that much succeed, these lithe maiden won't stand his macho attitude, it's amply clear. Slighted sun awaits the mirth of mist to subdue, the moment they get tired.
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Jan 25, 2012
Jan 25, 2012 at 2:27 AM UTC
winter morning spectacle