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"inactions" poems
~for those who will read this and weep~ *the quiet ones, the silent Job ones, who quote not from the Book of Lamentations, but author their own, based on-the-job experience localized versions of cryptic elegiacs accepting the wooden crosses borne, stepping up to the unrequested unforeseen, then buried under, burnt alive, yet never relieved by dying, nailed by words, stronger than iron, promises sworn, promises kept with no ending date relief, promises by and to themselves, but not for themselves!* *the wearers of crystal glass shackles, adorned with decorative locks for which no key did the maker make, nor any divine creator dare conceive an early release, never no escape contemplated, for the lock human, unrepentant unbreakable, a decorative useless metaphor gesture, a blunt “life ***** advertisement I compose amidst a bus pond of mismatched city folk, a tapestry of ages colors and differing views on god/no god, none would believe that as the bus sways me, it’s in rhythm to holy choral music, hundreds year old, divinity masses and motets worships, where one human can hide temporarily a safe house, to calm his questioning relentless from the horrors of no answers, for when the mind has no solution to the rough and tumbling lives, lived in glass shackled confinement, the poets desperation equals theirs* *summon eagles to transport these imprisoned, but the shackled refuse, I come to them but they wave me off, I go crazy for once I was enslaved, thirty years war that left devastation, from which so many poems created so I speak with heightened regard of one who planned futures for others where his non-existence was a founding father (ha!)* *but the day came and I was released by my own inactions, but means nothing until a way to away found to release the yet bound early* got a couch, airline miles, hundred dollars in my pocket and an unrelenting need to save them, a consumption disease, the glass shackled, at ease, won’t rest till all are freed this my creed no one left behind these cyber words do not mock for they are unbounded, set free, when the flesh connects and the needs of the flesh are stronger for they are in heart conceived
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Jun 23, 2018
Jun 23, 2018 at 5:45 PM UTC
The Glass Shackles
~for those who will read this and weep~ *the quiet ones, the silent Job ones, who quote not from the Book of Lamentations, but author their own, based on-the-job experience localized versions of cryptic elegiacs accepting the wooden crosses borne, stepping up to the unrequested unforeseen, then buried under, burnt alive, yet never relieved by dying, nailed by words, stronger than iron, promises sworn, promises kept with no ending date relief, promises by and to themselves, but not for themselves!* *the wearers of crystal glass shackles, adorned with decorative locks for which no key did the maker make, nor any divine creator dare conceive an early release, never no escape contemplated, for the lock human, unrepentant unbreakable, a decorative useless metaphor gesture, a blunt “life ***** advertisement I compose amidst a bus pond of mismatched city folk, a tapestry of ages colors and differing views on god/no god, none would believe that as the bus sways me, it’s in rhythm to holy choral music, hundreds year old, divinity masses and motets worships, where one human can hide temporarily a safe house, to calm his questioning relentless from the horrors of no answers, for when the mind has no solution to the rough and tumbling lives, lived in glass shackled confinement, the poets desperation equals theirs* *summon eagles to transport these imprisoned, but the shackled refuse, I come to them but they wave me off, I go crazy for once I was enslaved, thirty years war that left devastation, from which so many poems created so I speak with heightened regard of one who planned futures for others where his non-existence was a founding father (ha!)* *but the day came and I was released by my own inactions, but means nothing until a way to away found to release the yet bound early* got a couch, airline miles, hundred dollars in my pocket and an unrelenting need to save them, a consumption disease, the glass shackled, at ease, won’t rest till all are freed this my creed no one left behind these cyber words do not mock for they are unbounded, set free, when the flesh connects and the needs of the flesh are stronger for they are in heart conceived
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68
How deeply the lie was conceived in a gospel of faith and ignorance How easily the people were deceived to separate through intolerance Truth is powering the commotion A hunger reminds the desire Reaction is empowering the emotion Friction sends us the fire Who will burn their skin Lying on life’s beach Who will turn within and practice what they preach Who will feed the flames Who decides the names Fear Ego Pride They have a book… the ghost-writer’s lied Concealed in symbols Hidden in signs Revealed in geometry and between the lines In passages are messages In shape In colour In sound “Man, Gnow Thyself” so ‘Self’ is found Who can see beyond the distractions What will be the cost of our inactions Annihilation of the Way Co-creation every day YOU DECIDE! © Verso-(David Moule) 16/01/08
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Sep 19, 2010
Sep 19, 2010 at 5:31 PM UTC
Friction
I once was a Person far too set in my ways to realize how much what I didn't do hurt the person I love. I one was a Person too consumed by Self to see past it's Illusion and into the beautiful Truth of my life. I once was a Person lucky enough to be close to you; and though you say I didn't fail, I sure feel like I did. I may not have failed you, but I sure failed myself in the process. Maybe I didn't, but it sure made me think about how I could change; and Change has been made. I'm sorry for the things I did that I shouldn't have and for the things I didn't that I should have. I'm terribly sorry my actions and inactions made you seek your course of recourse. I hope you can find it in your heart to give me another chance, I know you may well not want to, and I don't blame you; Time can be good. To quote another poem of mine; Age: "It does take Time to find and travel your Path, but it can begin at any Time, and one can stray at any Time." I'm sorry I strayed. I think it can begin anew. More beautiful. We had something. What's gone is gone. We have potential. We can begin anew; begin something new and more wondrous than either of us can imagine: I think we can grow together, You nourish me. I want to do the same for you. I love you. I miss you. I adore you. I miss you so much. You complete me. I know it sounds cheesy.. but it's true. Last weekend at the wedding when I laid down with you sobbing about the things I was sobbing about I had a realization: I can see myself marrying you; perhaps not quite yet, but I'd be down. Normally thinking of marriage freaks me out, but with you it doesn't. It would be an honor. You push me towards a better me even if I've unintentionally resisted: (That's part of what's changed I see how I've been resisting now. Sorry it took so ******* long ><) You got me to write things down and share them. You got me to try new things and to push my comfort zone. You inspire me to pursue my passions; to not be ashamed to get in front of People and share them. You think in ways that the Ordinary can't even imagine. You make me feel like I belong and that I am loved.. Something so very precious is being lost; within me and between us I really hope we haven't thrown all hope out the window. I think we have something far too dear to just toss out. We both need to change, for ourselves and each other, but I feel that we can do that together. Perhaps better. I'm really truly sorry it took me losing you to make me realize what I already had in you. I'm really sorry it took what it took: I'm really sorry it took so much Time. - I was stubborn and stupid. I strayed. We all can. I value things differently now. We all should. My Shadow and Ego had been puppeteering my Mind, but I've felt the metamorphosis, the renewal, the cleansing; the Change has crept up and consumed me. My Worldview has shifted, from the inside turning out. The World is more beautiful now; and so are you. You are the full Moon in the night of my Mind. I know I truly love you. [Please, Forgive me.]
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Jun 4, 2013
Jun 4, 2013 at 1:31 PM UTC
Heartfelt Exercise in Frivolous Catharsis
I once was a Person far too set in my ways to realize how much what I didn't do hurt the person I love. I one was a Person too consumed by Self to see past it's Illusion and into the beautiful Truth of my life. I once was a Person lucky enough to be close to you; and though you say I didn't fail, I sure feel like I did. I may not have failed you, but I sure failed myself in the process. Maybe I didn't, but it sure made me think about how I could change; and Change has been made. I'm sorry for the things I did that I shouldn't have and for the things I didn't that I should have. I'm terribly sorry my actions and inactions made you seek your course of recourse. I hope you can find it in your heart to give me another chance, I know you may well not want to, and I don't blame you; Time can be good. To quote another poem of mine; Age: "It does take Time to find and travel your Path, but it can begin at any Time, and one can stray at any Time." I'm sorry I strayed. I think it can begin anew. More beautiful. We had something. What's gone is gone. We have potential. We can begin anew; begin something new and more wondrous than either of us can imagine: I think we can grow together, You nourish me. I want to do the same for you. I love you. I miss you. I adore you. I miss you so much. You complete me. I know it sounds cheesy.. but it's true. Last weekend at the wedding when I laid down with you sobbing about the things I was sobbing about I had a realization: I can see myself marrying you; perhaps not quite yet, but I'd be down. Normally thinking of marriage freaks me out, but with you it doesn't. It would be an honor. You push me towards a better me even if I've unintentionally resisted: (That's part of what's changed I see how I've been resisting now. Sorry it took so ******* long ><) You got me to write things down and share them. You got me to try new things and to push my comfort zone. You inspire me to pursue my passions; to not be ashamed to get in front of People and share them. You think in ways that the Ordinary can't even imagine. You make me feel like I belong and that I am loved.. Something so very precious is being lost; within me and between us I really hope we haven't thrown all hope out the window. I think we have something far too dear to just toss out. We both need to change, for ourselves and each other, but I feel that we can do that together. Perhaps better. I'm really truly sorry it took me losing you to make me realize what I already had in you. I'm really sorry it took what it took: I'm really sorry it took so much Time. - I was stubborn and stupid. I strayed. We all can. I value things differently now. We all should. My Shadow and Ego had been puppeteering my Mind, but I've felt the metamorphosis, the renewal, the cleansing; the Change has crept up and consumed me. My Worldview has shifted, from the inside turning out. The World is more beautiful now; and so are you. You are the full Moon in the night of my Mind. I know I truly love you. [Please, Forgive me.]
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Worship His Lordship, Brace up timely solace, Before you are befooled, No syntax would serve, When death comes to date. Believe in boundless bliss beyond ….. 1 Oh Dear, desist from desires, That govern mundane mandate. Blessed are you, whatever deserved, Of your actions, or inactions past, Be content and devoted, To your duty, serene and supreme Believe in boundless bliss beyond ……2 Concealed by shiny silky skin, Beauty is one of flesh n’ blood, Glow or glamour is never forever, Introspect and respect the truth, Let not illusion overtake your wisdom. Believe in boundless bliss beyond ……3 Eventual, life bubbles off, Like a droplet on lotus leaf, Conjured by complexion, Concluded by deadly disease. Believe in boundless bliss beyond ……4 Kith n’ kin crowd around, And enjoy the fun and frolic, Of youth, of health n’ wealth. As the age anchors in sickness, No referee comes to your rescue. Believe in boundless bliss beyond……5 Sprint is the spirit of life, The Soul holds the body The day the Soul skips away, Even your wife walks astray Believe in boundless bliss beyond……6 Fun n’ play rein budding life, Youngling passions linger fore, Hoary age diminishes in distress, None to come along, nothing to impress, When the dusk dawns on you, Too late to mediate and meditate. Believe in boundless bliss beyond…….7 After all, what are you! Of whom are you? Who your wife and children are? Are the bonds you made binding? What is your origin or horizon? Ponder over the divine marvel Believe in boundless bliss beyond ……8
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Feb 6, 2015
Feb 6, 2015 at 8:43 AM UTC
Ponder beyond ( Part I of IV)
Worship His Lordship, Brace up timely solace, Before you are befooled, No syntax would serve, When death comes to date. Believe in boundless bliss beyond ….. 1 Oh Dear, desist from desires, That govern mundane mandate. Blessed are you, whatever deserved, Of your actions, or inactions past, Be content and devoted, To your duty, serene and supreme Believe in boundless bliss beyond ……2 Concealed by shiny silky skin, Beauty is one of flesh n’ blood, Glow or glamour is never forever, Introspect and respect the truth, Let not illusion overtake your wisdom. Believe in boundless bliss beyond ……3 Eventual, life bubbles off, Like a droplet on lotus leaf, Conjured by complexion, Concluded by deadly disease. Believe in boundless bliss beyond ……4 Kith n’ kin crowd around, And enjoy the fun and frolic, Of youth, of health n’ wealth. As the age anchors in sickness, No referee comes to your rescue. Believe in boundless bliss beyond……5 Sprint is the spirit of life, The Soul holds the body The day the Soul skips away, Even your wife walks astray Believe in boundless bliss beyond……6 Fun n’ play rein budding life, Youngling passions linger fore, Hoary age diminishes in distress, None to come along, nothing to impress, When the dusk dawns on you, Too late to mediate and meditate. Believe in boundless bliss beyond…….7 After all, what are you! Of whom are you? Who your wife and children are? Are the bonds you made binding? What is your origin or horizon? Ponder over the divine marvel Believe in boundless bliss beyond ……8
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few people who tell me to forget about the past just fail to understand that sometimes past doesn't forget me They fail to realize that one is still in the battlefield dodging bullets surviving attempted ****** my war is still ungoing but as always chances are I survive like I often do by unseen forces its a cruel ancestral karmic war that must be paid no one is immune to it no matter how prosperous waiges of sin generating good and bad Karma are unstapable ask me I've lived it in the flesh wining or losing doesn't matter too much it doesn't depend on the self alone One has to experience cause and effect of all actions and inactions perhaps generational values apply here must perform my deed suffer their bad karma what can I as a recipient do but endure please don't say to soldier me in this battlefield hell of mine "forget the past! look forward!" "Don't look back, you'll crash and die!" my forward might be more of the same battlefield ****** neverending generational type war unprovoqued covert enemies  ever popping up like agents in my Matrix did unexpectedly using different names covert culprit Terminator One others wearing masks hungry wolves some in sheeps clothings others smiling snakes in my fallen paradise many have fallen though by my side and something out there from beyond spares me the people of God shall taste poison and it won't harm the Lord upholds me and I wait patiently safe heaven is within me.
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Jul 11, 2019
Jul 11, 2019 at 4:38 PM UTC
A Karmic battlefield
Am I losing hold? In a hurricane thought storm Little deaths on the television Remind me of my inactions Said I’d even myself Out, after giving into self Doubt. Unstable, leaning toward self Harm, while the world tumbles itself Round Bitter at my own lack Feel the fire dying in my breath While the world Burns and breaks and blisters in a growing wreck Did my stutter break another heart? Did my whisper **** that child? Too quiet for him to hear the reason I searched for myself, at sixteen Is every stilted thought, wasted potential / opportunity To better myself, better the world, And every person I'll ever meet? I will not let Hesitation Separate Soul from body Ever again I am not lifeless I am not cruel I will not be a bystander I swear I am not lifeless I am not cruel I will not be a bystander I swear Ever again
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Mar 12, 2014
Mar 12, 2014 at 5:50 AM UTC
avoidable deaths
Do i drag you down, to the depths of myself when i tell you of what i have seen, what i have felt, what i have done and had done to me? Do i belittle you to the size of myself, with the stories of my past, all that i've done. all that i've hurt and all i've avoided the other lives I used to lead? Do i make you to shake in your bones, when i speak of my actions and inactions my screams and my cries and most deafeningly, my silences? Do you pity me or do you fear, my child, all i have failed to do?
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Jun 30, 2015
Jun 30, 2015 at 2:57 AM UTC
Do I
I rather live this way or i go my way for everything i couldn't do for every path i couldn't go for all of my actions and all of my inactions i'm but my own foe for to all i have regreted of, my hands had deviced i'll go my way,embrace my fate for all i've met i'm but part of i'm the little boy of yesterday that has turned to the young man of today awaiting the matured man of tomorrow i've loved without returning i've been broken countless times but healed with time and tears i've cried a river i've known life just like the blood in my veins i've learned to take things as they come Until i can change them to close my eyes from my desires until i can command my wish in living i've learned to live live without hurt live without broken heart live without crush But that's not living,it's dying No mortal can live beyond broken heart none can tell his heart what to feel as blood in the veins so we're bound to love There be nothing more like to love and be loved in return.
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Jan 3, 2014
Jan 3, 2014 at 2:50 PM UTC
Lonely Lane
The ground is in shambles beneath me Each step I take the Earth quakes Bedrock shadows in their wake Tremors pulsate in resonating song Harmonizing the splitting migraines Perceptions fail in this fallen Kingdom The light swells in the timeless void Eons and eternities cascade in flashes Ripples of the endless forevers A brain freeze, frozen purgatory Inactions reflect on this broken plane Distorted mirrors of yesterdays Shattering slowly into the morrow
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Feb 22, 2016
Feb 22, 2016 at 9:17 AM UTC
Distortion
What is it that I crave for? What is it that I want? I have lost myself in time I am guilty of the crime I am standing middle of nowhere I don’t know which way to go? The standing ground gives a tremor The thought makes me quiver I have lost all the interests The things I used to hold dear Now those are my distant past Nothing makes anything clear What I want now? This question keeps me awake How will I shape my future? The answer is yet to remake I reach out for help I reach out for support The only thing I see More questions I can bear I am standing in a place Where there is nothing Even the darkness elude me The light has gone beyond the reach I know I can be many things I have lost the will to see Everything seems so unreal Don’t know where it will lead The things I once held so dear Now they are against me I am lost and so unclear I even can’t see me I cry for the enlighting visions Those once were my souls It seems I don’t have my eyes The blindness have made me sore Where I will find the answers? When I will know what to do? My inactions became my action My action got lost in roar The burning fire inside my veins Washed away with time The dream, the passion, the pain Got replaced by desire to fail Books say past is past Live in the present But how should I act in now? To make sure I see tomorrow What is it that I am going through? What is it that I want anew? My course of life has changed Everything I have built, now chained I want to be free Free of all the decree I want to know how I became How I became like thee? What is it that I am looking for? The faraway land is waiting for? I should let go of the fear Thrive again to achieve the spear Enough of living in the denial I have to act and stop being senile Accept that I have failed I the one to be blamed Time is now to rise once again Like the phoenix and empire in ruin The lost can always be found The doomed can always be crowned…
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Jul 4, 2013
Jul 4, 2013 at 9:42 PM UTC
Now...
What is it that I crave for? What is it that I want? I have lost myself in time I am guilty of the crime I am standing middle of nowhere I don’t know which way to go? The standing ground gives a tremor The thought makes me quiver I have lost all the interests The things I used to hold dear Now those are my distant past Nothing makes anything clear What I want now? This question keeps me awake How will I shape my future? The answer is yet to remake I reach out for help I reach out for support The only thing I see More questions I can bear I am standing in a place Where there is nothing Even the darkness elude me The light has gone beyond the reach I know I can be many things I have lost the will to see Everything seems so unreal Don’t know where it will lead The things I once held so dear Now they are against me I am lost and so unclear I even can’t see me I cry for the enlighting visions Those once were my souls It seems I don’t have my eyes The blindness have made me sore Where I will find the answers? When I will know what to do? My inactions became my action My action got lost in roar The burning fire inside my veins Washed away with time The dream, the passion, the pain Got replaced by desire to fail Books say past is past Live in the present But how should I act in now? To make sure I see tomorrow What is it that I am going through? What is it that I want anew? My course of life has changed Everything I have built, now chained I want to be free Free of all the decree I want to know how I became How I became like thee? What is it that I am looking for? The faraway land is waiting for? I should let go of the fear Thrive again to achieve the spear Enough of living in the denial I have to act and stop being senile Accept that I have failed I the one to be blamed Time is now to rise once again Like the phoenix and empire in ruin The lost can always be found The doomed can always be crowned…
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68
Some say I'm too tough Hard to comprehend Hard to deal with Hard to love Some say I'm too soft Easy to push over Easy to manipulate Easy to love It is hard to explain Easy to cave in Just shut up And let the others do their thing. Think what they want Do what they want Hold no one accountable For their actions. We all mess up We all have faults We all have lives After All. But if we hold no one Especially ourselves Accountable For our actions For our reactions For our inactions Then how do we live? Responsibility is a big word And a bigger deed. We are in this life To learn And teach Every moment Every breath Every heartbeat. What we get out of it Is up to us Alone Individually Subjectively. We can do no more Good In this life In this world In this universe Than to be the best Student Teacher Partner To everyone around us Including ourselves That we can be. We must not judge That one person's way Is better than another Simply that it is A different point of view A different way of living A different style of loving. The blind can get along Without the one-eyed man And if he thinks himself king Because of his sight It will only be until The novelty of him Has worn off. For the blind have Everything mapped out Each step counted Every object Accounted for and memorized. Those with sight Move things around Step outside the lines Wonder what is beyond. We can no more Cause someone to awaken Than we can restore Sight to the blind Hearing to the deaf Voice to the mute. Though we can offer them New ways to explore Their world. Tell our tales Without expecting Any of it To be heard To be understood To be believed. For us to try to understand Within ourselves That all find out Exactly what they need to know When they need to know it In ways only they can know it. And sometimes We are the messenger Bearing tidings of great joy. And sometimes We are the lunatic Ranting unheard on the corner. It doesn't matter what you think You are Except to yourself And you can never Ever Make someone see you Any other way Than the way that They do. Words Actions Beliefs Are up for random Interpretation. And if you want to be Unconditionally accepted For your unique being Then it's time to ante up Folks Because Turnabout Is Definitely Fair Play.
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May 2, 2010
May 2, 2010 at 9:15 PM UTC
Fair Play
Some say I'm too tough Hard to comprehend Hard to deal with Hard to love Some say I'm too soft Easy to push over Easy to manipulate Easy to love It is hard to explain Easy to cave in Just shut up And let the others do their thing. Think what they want Do what they want Hold no one accountable For their actions. We all mess up We all have faults We all have lives After All. But if we hold no one Especially ourselves Accountable For our actions For our reactions For our inactions Then how do we live? Responsibility is a big word And a bigger deed. We are in this life To learn And teach Every moment Every breath Every heartbeat. What we get out of it Is up to us Alone Individually Subjectively. We can do no more Good In this life In this world In this universe Than to be the best Student Teacher Partner To everyone around us Including ourselves That we can be. We must not judge That one person's way Is better than another Simply that it is A different point of view A different way of living A different style of loving. The blind can get along Without the one-eyed man And if he thinks himself king Because of his sight It will only be until The novelty of him Has worn off. For the blind have Everything mapped out Each step counted Every object Accounted for and memorized. Those with sight Move things around Step outside the lines Wonder what is beyond. We can no more Cause someone to awaken Than we can restore Sight to the blind Hearing to the deaf Voice to the mute. Though we can offer them New ways to explore Their world. Tell our tales Without expecting Any of it To be heard To be understood To be believed. For us to try to understand Within ourselves That all find out Exactly what they need to know When they need to know it In ways only they can know it. And sometimes We are the messenger Bearing tidings of great joy. And sometimes We are the lunatic Ranting unheard on the corner. It doesn't matter what you think You are Except to yourself And you can never Ever Make someone see you Any other way Than the way that They do. Words Actions Beliefs Are up for random Interpretation. And if you want to be Unconditionally accepted For your unique being Then it's time to ante up Folks Because Turnabout Is Definitely Fair Play.
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125
From the Prayer of Saint Ignatius of Loyola (see notes) <> the phrase grabs my eyelids, a forced opening, nay, a denial of closing, our most human and natural escape hatch and I wonder… is it self~slander, or is it the obverse, that explores a desire to enumerate honestly for what is…is… let the costs count us! is that it? merely poetry airy escapery, what passes for  t r u t h  in these dark days? <> the damning costs count me in their number!p as ****** <!> hapless victim of living, pondering ponderous divination of saintly defiant definitions of ‘greater good’ ’tis the difficile, entre the pill and the bitter, oh so bitter the herbs, for it is so plainly & so hard to differentiate, et distinguer mais être distingué(1) distinguish tween but not to be distinguished memories that are costs disguised, reverting as dreams, in the true~alone hours of the twenty four, when it’s just you, & fighter and worthy opponent them costs, who needs no definition tolling the steeple bells of utter anguish, as you're thre greatest living expert in these matters, (le plus personnel) the sins of action and transaction, And the worst, those  truly heinous inactions, face off in opposition in the boxing ring <> and the costs paid, a savage skilled opponent, intimate of your every trickery, the bare knuckled brawler, whose knows, knows! the true tally, the bodies you’ve buried, the children witnesses to your creative abominations, lies you tell no one else, but yourself- every single day! the urge to cease here grows stronger by the second, minutes past and les défenses have risen, what disclosures revelations bring forgiveness? this my spotlight, caught in the headlights, where fessing up is in reverse, fessing down to the black bottom, where ugliness is the normative and vain attempts at denial offers no escapes from glutinous disgusting mess of gelled of nothing but the truth nah, you don’t want to know, what a human can accomplish in a short seven decades of decadence and recount constantly the costs of consternation <> so I‘ll let you retreat to the gray masses all your own where your very owned wonderings are intercepted for where I go now willingly, unfailingly, failing needing not, requiring not no company
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Jul 13, 2024
Jul 13, 2024 at 7:17 AM UTC
“and (not) to count the costs...”
From the Prayer of Saint Ignatius of Loyola (see notes) <> the phrase grabs my eyelids, a forced opening, nay, a denial of closing, our most human and natural escape hatch and I wonder… is it self~slander, or is it the obverse, that explores a desire to enumerate honestly for what is…is… let the costs count us! is that it? merely poetry airy escapery, what passes for  t r u t h  in these dark days? <> the damning costs count me in their number!p as ****** <!> hapless victim of living, pondering ponderous divination of saintly defiant definitions of ‘greater good’ ’tis the difficile, entre the pill and the bitter, oh so bitter the herbs, for it is so plainly & so hard to differentiate, et distinguer mais être distingué(1) distinguish tween but not to be distinguished memories that are costs disguised, reverting as dreams, in the true~alone hours of the twenty four, when it’s just you, & fighter and worthy opponent them costs, who needs no definition tolling the steeple bells of utter anguish, as you're thre greatest living expert in these matters, (le plus personnel) the sins of action and transaction, And the worst, those  truly heinous inactions, face off in opposition in the boxing ring <> and the costs paid, a savage skilled opponent, intimate of your every trickery, the bare knuckled brawler, whose knows, knows! the true tally, the bodies you’ve buried, the children witnesses to your creative abominations, lies you tell no one else, but yourself- every single day! the urge to cease here grows stronger by the second, minutes past and les défenses have risen, what disclosures revelations bring forgiveness? this my spotlight, caught in the headlights, where fessing up is in reverse, fessing down to the black bottom, where ugliness is the normative and vain attempts at denial offers no escapes from glutinous disgusting mess of gelled of nothing but the truth nah, you don’t want to know, what a human can accomplish in a short seven decades of decadence and recount constantly the costs of consternation <> so I‘ll let you retreat to the gray masses all your own where your very owned wonderings are intercepted for where I go now willingly, unfailingly, failing needing not, requiring not no company
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93
I use to put on different masks Every day and every night so I can fit in with certain people. I use to be shy around everyone Because I do not know if they Will judge me if I open my mouth And say one word like hey. For the first time in a very long time, I am not longer shy whenever I am In your presence because you have Broken the different masks that I wear And you have found the true person That I really am and the person that I Want everyone in the world to see. For the first time in many years, I don’t Have the need or urge to question myself About my actions or inactions because I know that you will never judge me like I am afraid everyone in the world will do If I open my mouth to them to say hello Or even when I try and start a conversation. For the first time in my entire life, I don’t Have to hide my emotions and true feelings Behind my poems because I was afraid of what You and anyone who read them might think. I used my poems as masks every day and night Because I don’t know how to show my true Feelings in words without writing them down. For the first time in my twenty-one years, I can Actually say that I am no longer depressed. When I am around you, I am floating high on a cloud and I do not want to fall back to Earth and back to reality. This is a great feeling and I don’t want this to end Because I am afraid of what my happen and of how I might feel when this feeling leaves my body. I am enjoying my life for the first time and I am enjoying spending every moment with The one and only person that makes me happy Whenever I am with that one person. I am happy That for the first time in my entire life I no longer Have the need to wear any mask because my life Is perfect now when I am with that one person. For the first time in my existence, I have met that One girl that makes me the happiest man on the f Face of this beautiful blue and green Earth: you.
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Feb 26, 2012
Feb 26, 2012 at 6:21 PM UTC
For The First Time
I use to put on different masks Every day and every night so I can fit in with certain people. I use to be shy around everyone Because I do not know if they Will judge me if I open my mouth And say one word like hey. For the first time in a very long time, I am not longer shy whenever I am In your presence because you have Broken the different masks that I wear And you have found the true person That I really am and the person that I Want everyone in the world to see. For the first time in many years, I don’t Have the need or urge to question myself About my actions or inactions because I know that you will never judge me like I am afraid everyone in the world will do If I open my mouth to them to say hello Or even when I try and start a conversation. For the first time in my entire life, I don’t Have to hide my emotions and true feelings Behind my poems because I was afraid of what You and anyone who read them might think. I used my poems as masks every day and night Because I don’t know how to show my true Feelings in words without writing them down. For the first time in my twenty-one years, I can Actually say that I am no longer depressed. When I am around you, I am floating high on a cloud and I do not want to fall back to Earth and back to reality. This is a great feeling and I don’t want this to end Because I am afraid of what my happen and of how I might feel when this feeling leaves my body. I am enjoying my life for the first time and I am enjoying spending every moment with The one and only person that makes me happy Whenever I am with that one person. I am happy That for the first time in my entire life I no longer Have the need to wear any mask because my life Is perfect now when I am with that one person. For the first time in my existence, I have met that One girl that makes me the happiest man on the f Face of this beautiful blue and green Earth: you.
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H a v e   y o u   s e e n The sky where our eyes meet, The air where our skin touch, And the sun that put flames, To our hearts? The pounding of the birds' wings, C a n  y o u  f e e l ? H a v e   y o u   s e e n How time made us blind, How our inactions **** our mights, How clouds made us doubt, The vision once clear we had? And as the plants grew At spring, C a n  y o u  s e e , How they blossom alone in numbers, Just left at is For every person To wonder? H a v e   y o u   s e e n The smoking poison, On your palm, To **** every living, With a touch By sending them to ash? And how it made You feel thorns Growing on your soul Because for once You believe you are cure But for some you are Death for sure. And thus, You live like a bird Who only lands To a place Where your pounding wings Can be heard. Where the only cage To trap you dear Is   t h i s   w o r l d .
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Jun 30, 2017
Jun 30, 2017 at 8:54 AM UTC
In This World
Is it? What do you think? Is it? Have you felt it is? Do you really think it is? How do you know love? Does it have it highs and lows? Does been in it feel like a law? Does its dark side appear white as snow? What distinguishes it? Few times down other times lit? I thought it was always in high spirit? Why now do I feel I have to desist? Is it same as infatuation? Where it goes away after you've achieved love action? And all your sweet ideas become sour notions? And thoughts of the other exits your attention? Yes. Maybe its infatuation. Love sparks that light but fades with wiggly motions, When one stops trying because you're no more an exception, The little silly things you do become "expensive inactions" . It hurts badly, Sadly your undoubtedly not feel it rightly, From the start that love wounds, you pretend nicely, That you both can take it lightly. But it hurts, with time when the usual things are no more, When the long night bare no talk, Sleepless nights come back as they were at first afterall, You miss someone badly, but misses only harp in thoughts. Maybe its not love. Maybe you stopped trying Maybe you aren't telling your honest feelings Maybe you're making it difficult to be loved Maybe you don't want to be loved Maybe hear says have dimmed your love Maybe you aren't too sure Maybe you feel this love won't go anywhere Maybe you feel you're not good enough to be loved. Maybe you feel its not true love. Is love difficult? It takes time to know. Its like a sling stone thrown, It takes time to be known. Genuine love finds you when you do things right. Maybe today, tomorrow or someday, When things are right, Love's not difficult, It'll find you. You'll feel it Right.
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Jan 15, 2019
Jan 15, 2019 at 7:14 PM UTC
Is love difficult?
Is it? What do you think? Is it? Have you felt it is? Do you really think it is? How do you know love? Does it have it highs and lows? Does been in it feel like a law? Does its dark side appear white as snow? What distinguishes it? Few times down other times lit? I thought it was always in high spirit? Why now do I feel I have to desist? Is it same as infatuation? Where it goes away after you've achieved love action? And all your sweet ideas become sour notions? And thoughts of the other exits your attention? Yes. Maybe its infatuation. Love sparks that light but fades with wiggly motions, When one stops trying because you're no more an exception, The little silly things you do become "expensive inactions" . It hurts badly, Sadly your undoubtedly not feel it rightly, From the start that love wounds, you pretend nicely, That you both can take it lightly. But it hurts, with time when the usual things are no more, When the long night bare no talk, Sleepless nights come back as they were at first afterall, You miss someone badly, but misses only harp in thoughts. Maybe its not love. Maybe you stopped trying Maybe you aren't telling your honest feelings Maybe you're making it difficult to be loved Maybe you don't want to be loved Maybe hear says have dimmed your love Maybe you aren't too sure Maybe you feel this love won't go anywhere Maybe you feel you're not good enough to be loved. Maybe you feel its not true love. Is love difficult? It takes time to know. Its like a sling stone thrown, It takes time to be known. Genuine love finds you when you do things right. Maybe today, tomorrow or someday, When things are right, Love's not difficult, It'll find you. You'll feel it Right.
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For who have overcome the saddest sorrows, We will never wish anyone else to experience it, Because we know how much it hurts. For who have gone through the deepest darkness, We will always be the light to guide you through, Because we know how scary it is. I want to ask you one question. How do you truly feel after you hurt other humans Without giving them a chance to explain? I want to ask you one question. Have you truly thought about what you have or haven’t done Before you got hurt by other humans? A coin always has two sides. A road can always be traveled both ways, Even when it tells you that it is a one-way street. Hate will never end hate. Hate will only destroy everyone involved. Forgive or forget, and so you can have peace. Even if you truly believe that Your actions or inactions didn’t cause anything, Please, still try to understand from different perspectives.
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Mar 15, 2022
Mar 15, 2022 at 9:19 PM UTC
Perspectives
Would that Hestia were in the Oval Office instead of **** Trump. There would be warmth emanating from the veritable center of our democracy instead of cold, cruel uncaring. Ignorance and gross incompetence are reasons enough for me to throw literally this imbecile out of the Oval Office into the Rose Garden, then onto Pennsylvania Avenue. He alone will be singly responsible for millions of deaths of Americans who contracted the coronavirus, but died from the unconscionable inactions of **** Trump that in turn resulted in myriad medical supply shortages that would have saved untold American lives. Hestia was the Greek goddess of the hearth. Even if she was a mythological figure, she would have at least cared about the well-being of the citizens of any Greek agora. Copyright 2020 Tod Howard Hawks
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Mar 26, 2020
Mar 26, 2020 at 1:01 AM UTC
HESTIA, THE GREEK GODDESS OF THE HEARTH
it's the end of the world, my friends. the sky is falling, the ground is shaking. the entire earth is spinning and rocketing, twirling out of control around its wobbly axis. of course, gravity's long gone, and we're all just floating around. the sun's getting closer by the hour, burning holes in mountains and evaporating oceans. what's going to **** you? a new disease, a bout of heatstroke, a boulder flying toward you at insane speeds? another person? the absence of another person? your own boredom drilling its way through your head? your loneliness? your regrets? what's going to **** you? looking up into the stars, only to see your own sad, short lifetime of accomplishments and inactions spelt out in the gaseous twinkly orbs? what's going to **** you?
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Apr 21, 2017
Apr 21, 2017 at 10:09 PM UTC
end of the world