"catastrophically" poems
i don't know what's worse:
forcing myself to fall asleep without your touch
or waking up in an empty bed again
it's a whole new kind of loneliness
trying to get a hold of myself
after years of trying to hold you
seven hundred and eighty-nine days
falling and fighting over you
just ends with **** we're dividing up
i cannot remember what life was like
before my eyes met with yours
the deepest shade of blue
you will always linger
in new habits we've created together
in every hidden spot in the city that i've shown you
all my hopes, dreams, and fears
they now belong to you
for evermore
i woke up alone again today
perhaps you did, too
just two broken souls in lonely beds
we were never meant to be
i toss and turn
flipped the pillow where you used to lay your head
now soaked with my acid tears
i will curse you for the longest time
always pondering the 'what-ifs'
if one thing had been different
would everything be different today?
would you have never left?
would we have never ended so catastrophically
the most bittersweet tragedy?
i used to feel you, no matter how far you were
yet in the final days, you got me questioning
who was that stranger laying next to me?
we were fire on fire
now i'm ash and ember
so who am i offending now?
you were my most beautiful film
sadly, i couldn't change the ending
pacing back and forth
i find myself talking into the night
"this pain would be never more"
Dec 20, 2022
Dec 20, 2022 at 9:14 AM UTC
One white rose because you are an amazing friend
One pink rose because you are an incredible lover
One red rose because I love you and want to make you my wife
I am catastrophically in love with you! 43
Jul 13, 2014
Jul 13, 2014 at 2:05 AM UTC
Such sweet songs
Fall from faces full
Of open
Hearts holding hands.
Generally great groups gather
Quixotic questions,
Ponder personal perceptions,
Emulating ever entranced emotions.
Love loses leaps, leaves
Broad bruises bypassing
Catastrophically closed creations.
What wonder, what wildly whimsical
Rejoice remains?
In individualistic idioms.
As all allowed anatomical
Differences deal dictations,
Juxtaposed jesters join
Monstrous masterminds
Trivially tinkering, tryingly,
Near non-subjective nothingness
Under unusual
Vectors. Vivisecting voracious,
Zeppelin-esque, zygotes,
Xenophobic
Yodels yell,
**** **** kindheartedness!"
Mar 24, 2012
Mar 24, 2012 at 12:20 AM UTC
Do Not Tell Me “everything will be okay”
I will not feel relief
my inside’s stress tsunamis don’t have an off button
they will catastrophically annihilate anything I believe to be
okay
I wish they didn’t
Oh fairy godmother, Oh yahweh, god, ************ jesus himself
grant me wishes, grant the whole ******* world wishes
because we’re tired
I can’t even imagine the fuel debt of starving african children
or stockholders losing what they haven’t bought yet
when I, a financially privileged and well fed college student
can’t get through 3 hours without trying to prevent
another stress tsunami
Do not tell me everything will be okay
It is not what i want to hear
I want to hear bullets in my head
girls, screaming at the sight of my right arm
gushing niagra falls of blood
I want god to **** my ****
I hope every therapist and so called good friend
can understand these words when i say
Depression will never be okay
Feeling hundred year old brick buildings
crushing upon my chest, my brain
ransacked by rubble
and my heart, an empty sack
will never be okay
I am burnt to a crisp
I am too old for this ****
Sep 16, 2014
Sep 16, 2014 at 2:03 PM UTC
The beat, the snare, the drum
Starting in at the floor and flying to my brain
**** all the people who say I’m numb
I’m sane, oh so sane!
My thinking, once a cloudy, congested, coagulate of incoherent thoughts,
Now flows free from its once catastrophically, closed chasm,
Bringing fourth meaningless, mindless motions and movements,
Showing all, that you are who you are, don’t be afraid to fall.
As the smoke clears, the crystallized casts of crushing vocals
Radiate to my ears; all we hear is the hate, the hassle, the hustle
The bustle. Look beyond what has spawned to see what you find fond.
Blinded we remain; we fight, frightened and furious against this foe.
Conformity hinders our ability to show individuality. They attack us
With ambidexterity to keep us statues of our own subconscious design,
Yet we continue to follow these wrongly deified prodigies. They’re using
Us as antibodies to cleanse what are others conformities.
Enlightened I will stay to ensure Elysium for my fellow enthusiasts.
Free from these prodigies, my persistence will not fade
To grey, black, white, withered, wretched wasted thoughts.
My mind is free, my soul deep, this music is the up-beat.
Feb 11, 2010
Feb 11, 2010 at 5:03 AM UTC
Catastrophically beautiful,
Like kissing a storm,
and expecting,
Not to get blown away.
Sep 5, 2015
Sep 5, 2015 at 12:41 AM UTC
Hazel eyes lost in seas, of red ruby wine lips,
Drunk love lusted after, crimson caress,
Parted lips tasted, sweet my love, thy love, my love,
Open heart, surgery retreating for the risk the unknown,
Arms wrapped ivy, anaesthetize beating hearts heard,
Coming undone, to be made complete soul struck,
For I choose, freely with will to love each day,
You, you, oh yes, you.
That old cliché, setting the one free letting go,
How I died, a thousand times over, over, over,
Letting go, letting go, letting go,
You never flew from me, you flew towards me back,
Aching, shaking, soothing, beats pounding freely you returned,
No restraint, chains, locks to keep you so you stayed,
Thousands of; ‘I love you,’ ‘I love you,’ ‘I love you,’
Penetrating cold hospital air, waves crashing to shore returning,
A Thursday fell upon us days later, as you followed me home.
Colliding we fell, such deep velocity impulsive desire,
Those weeks blew up, nuclear blasts polluting air,
And on the Saturday you flew, it felt like coming home,
I wanted you, I needed you, oh, how I needed you,
Because of course, I was so catastrophically in love,
Loving you not because, I needed you,
But needing you because I loved, you,
And I had waited, for you, again, again, again,
Never believing so openly, your wings would spread back to me.
A week passes, speed shaking on amphetamines,
Walking through the door, your eyes hit me diamonds,
And nothing mattered, you become me, I become you,
Bubbles closing in, fantasy reality merging marrying,
I say; ‘you need to take your gum out so I can kiss you,’
And you smiled, giggled as an eternity passed by,
Secrets unknown land, wrapped encased feeling,
I felt, I had never been kissed before that very moment,
Leaning into you craving you wanting you, more enough,
And I knew; knew it then know it now, crazy eyes withheld,
For only, only, only, you,
And I could never had known, that one day in May,
I would love you,
could love,
and
did, love you.
© Sia Jane
Jul 4, 2014
Jul 4, 2014 at 6:30 PM UTC
The flower wilts,
Tired, sad, dead.
With the scorching sun and it's burning blaze,
You cry.
It's white hair of age has seen it all,
but it never expected that it's own petals would fall.
They fall surrounding the burning ground,
Once was it fluffy and luscious green,
Once had it fulfilled every flower's dream.
Once did it hold events where teenagers would lay,
Where children would play,
Where kites were thrown into the sky.
Once did the flower wish it were a dream.
A wish for a world that wasn't so catastrophically destroyed.
Jul 7, 2019
Jul 7, 2019 at 6:57 AM UTC
The quest for both burial and resurrection are significant, as their flickering shadows of the self-depreciatory abyss chant their silent and hauntingly audible presence under the canopy of the ancient forest.
Let us celebrate the night together, as we are traumatically enveloped within an exposed and dialectical pronunciation during this classical and acoustic daylight romance.
Although I truly hate your love, I also reject your evident indifference.
This is the essence of feeling like a fake within the genuineness of our actual and perceived realities.
It is heaven-sent, like a feathered breed of unresolved investigations within our socio-political climate of assumed advancement, where the intensity of the beat gyrates her percussionist hips across ******* expressions of the cosmological sound barrier.
Concurrently, the tangible rhythm of nature’s pulse considerately consummates her forcefully placid interactions within the context of gender specific diversity.
It is all in the name of discriminatory wholeness, my friend.
Our ambivalent connectedness to that which is catastrophically uncertain reminds me of drawing curtains across this conglomerate dawn of darkness and uninhibited concealment.
Just look at our ornithological formation, where leadership spreads her wings with censored zoological resignations and simplistic wisdom.
You have truly lifted my soul within the complexity of this circuitry, and I wholeheartedly acknowledge that we are a myriad of expressions which cannot be adequately articulated within the thermals of our cosmological stratosphere.
Yet, there is a certain finesse to delinquency, and I have bridged the metaphorical gap across the chasm of divided entities, where we can embrace the cool and gentle breeze right at the fulcrum of unforgiving landscapes and shamanic pastures.
Like an artistic depiction of woodland serenity, we are engaged in this wonderful neutrality where it is all about the dance – otherwise known as the energy of modern choreography.
Epistemology can be questionable, where assumptions are sickeningly grounded within the soil of egocentric perceptions of supremacy.
Trust me, my seasoned partner of those astral plains of Nirvana: my lips are sealed in this putrid reconciliation of proclaimed opposites, which are said to mutually attract.
Nov 21, 2015
Nov 21, 2015 at 12:09 AM UTC
Unbelievable
Catastrophically beautiful
I reflect the many unusual
Aspects of numerous physical
Understandings of the usual
Misdiagnosis, I am the typical
One of a kind, somewhat mythical
Kind of creature, more suitable
For a reality that is musical
Oh, but you will see the perpetual
Cues that put you in a visual
Hologram of a disputable
Nature - it is unlike any future
Disputable, delusional, junior
Planet I have ever seen
And so I will lie here and dream
Of stars I will one day orbit, these
Desires to become, to just be
Without misplaced agony
Teaching lessons I suppose I need
But that is not all that is me
I will remember it is only
Moments like these
That will become forgotten,
Fleeting memories
Jan 27, 2015
Jan 27, 2015 at 11:45 PM UTC
It has brought us to this dark place
This dark void from which there is no escape
Oh my god if you could have seen your face
tearing itself apart at an incredible pace
As we were ****** into the black hole in space
A love like ours could never be replaced
And so with all my might I braced
Against the inevitable that would lay us to waste
I just hope we will be placed
In the afterlife together not catastrophically spaced
a million miles away from each other every day
I would weep with sorrow in every way
I couldn't live in the afterlife's tragic play
And I would fade away
without you, so please stay
By my side where no distance can separate
Our love that was designed by fate
Oh what a horrific time
That we had to go through in our minds
Just to find each other in the mistakes and crimes
To learn that we would be forever entwined
And its fine, the fact that we weathered all the storms
It made our souls stronger even if we had to mourn
And now my soul would be torn
If we were ever ripped apart by the waves
Oh my lover, I couldn't breath without you near me in the seas
And without you there would be no more me
Oct 14, 2013
Oct 14, 2013 at 11:24 AM UTC
I swallowed
the sound of your name
like it was a star--
five points,
the type they
teach you to draw
in kindergarten.
It hurt
on its way down,
stalagmites of constellation
catching on my uvula,
hanging on with
astronomical strength.
But this is no cliffhanger.
Do you know what happens next?
I stopped breathing.
You've never deserved
your name,
you know.
"Light giving,"
it means.
Oh,
and how I gave into
the sublime
fallacy
of it.
Because
all you ever did was steal
the moons from my irises.
You treated me like
I was the dirt beneath
your fingernails
(you forsake
the dust on your windowsill--
but don't you know
all dust comes from
the wondrous galaxy that
dwells before us?)
I reached out to you
only to get
c u t
o f f
at the hands
Still,
I couldn't let you
go,
didn't know how to.
Even when my flame
was reduced
to these weeping cinders,
even when the idealization
I held between my palms
found itself exiled
to this mausoleum
of severed trust,
hatred blossoming
in rosettes against
crumbling tombstones.
The epitaph reads,
"At a loss for words."
Tell me this:
what sort of
"light giver"
doesn't believe in
in the possibility of magic--
in the pinnacle of light itself?
You always thought me
a foolish girl
for dreaming--
naive girl,
silly girl,
wrists blooming
in paper cuts,
always one fairytale
away from insanity.
Until
one day,
I stopped believing
altogether.
And all it took
was a single glance
from those eyes--
glacial sapphires,
your grandest seduction.
Hell itself would have
hardened itself to tundra
at the sight of them.
You always had a way
of contaminating
the things I loved
with a frostbite so lethal,
I would have
gladly dismembered
every hypothermic part
of myself
(every fragment of soul
you ever touched).
Like a shooting star,
I fell for you--
hopelessly.
Catastrophically.
And then the heavens went
dark.
Mar 17, 2019
Mar 17, 2019 at 12:27 PM UTC
i didn't know
if i would ever see you again
and that put genuine fear in my soul
you were everything i wanted
and everything i needed
but the universe
had a different plan for us
and it took you away from me
but you weren't gone for good
the universe just created some distance
but we have made it work
through thick and thin
through hellfire and high-water
we haven't given up on each other
which isn't shocking
because we have both been given up on
so we know what it feels like
to be left in the dirt
with tears streaming down our faces
and love in our hearts
for someone who doesn't care that it's there
we met each other
after we had both been through
relationships that ended catastrophically
and we worked hard to reverse our thoughts
about love and life
and we have fought every day
to reverse the way our broken hearts beat
Oct 11, 2014
Oct 11, 2014 at 1:23 PM UTC
I will not listen
Never look into it
Neither touch nor feel
Cause I refuse to understand it
But this tiny little world
Build on catastrophically stupidity
Some call it civilization
I still call it cannibalism
In some short time span about 100 years
All creatures living right now will be gone
Horses dogs snakes birth fish humans
666.999.666.999. in a big pile of death
Blood and honor or democracy
Say it real loud to Vladimir Putin
Because both Regan and ****** is dead
And the people only want to swallow it
And there will never be a day
To remember in a thousand years
Not a dollar or currency of the People’s Republic of China left
Kim Jong-Il never did have anything to say
Humanity is nothing but a wild primate
Violence just got more sophisticated
More grim and stupid in every way
And all of this I refuse to understand it.
Aug 10, 2014
Aug 10, 2014 at 8:58 AM UTC
This beating heart is an ironic cage
Nestled in skins so fragile when brave
Knowing no limits with magic so tall
I trip on illusions and catastrophically fall
Yet I'll continue to hope, she's a wonderful star
Though never to catch her, she's simply too far
True, heaven's the limit and vast is the sky
But it's simply too foolish to think I can fly
The dream will live on, perhaps she'll fall from her place
And I'll be ready to catch her, with some charm and some grace
So I'll wait from a galaxy in a mysterious cave
And keep making adventures so ironic when brave.
Jan 17, 2013
Jan 17, 2013 at 9:30 AM UTC
i am the type of girl who is afraid of looking down
who shuts her eyes in glass elevators
and fears heights almost as much
as she fears herself
and the moment i met you was the moment
i decided to loosen my death grip,
realizing that i was exhausted of clinging to my high hopes,
suddenly feeling weightless, fearless,
flying away from the stranger i used to be,
flying away from the person i was
before i met you
they teach us poetry in school,
the kind we read in those dumb literature books
filled with stupid stanzas and rhymes
and words on paper made to make you feel something
i know you're not made of paper, and that
you aren't words or letters or rhymes
but you were the first person who made me feel something,
something so real, something so catastrophically alive
and i love you for that,
for being my favorite poem
i love you to the rooftops and to the skyscrapers and clouds
and i know i'll always have to keep my eyes shut tightly
and have to hold your hand so tight my knuckles turn white
but you are poetry,
you made me feel alive again
i wasn't afraid of heights,
i was afraid of falling
but you caught me anyway
and i love you for that,
for teaching me that falling doesn't always
have to hurt
Nov 29, 2014
Nov 29, 2014 at 3:42 PM UTC
Sometimes it just feels like what you thought was your purpose in this life has been buried under the weight of the expectations of others
or leftover guilt
or a series of catastrophically poor decisions.
And you look around and see it all:
the beauty
and horror
the good
and the awful
and you hate yourself for taking advantage of your peace and safety and relative health, complaining instead that you're lonely and lost.
But sometimes, man,
sometimes you just don't want to get out of bed because you know that it all:
the beauty
and horror
the good
and awful
the loneliness
and questioning
the self-disgust
is going to be there until the end of time, and your body is gathering rust, it's so heavy, pinned under all of that weight
(stupid brain so concerned with the micro and macro)
so you roll over and try to black it all out.
I mean, you have to keep going.
You have to.
Other people do.
People suffer every day and keep going.
There is nothing special or urgent or interesting or even particularly DESERVED when it comes to your silly problems.
But it doesn't mean that they're not there.
The whole world is suffering, and we don't know where the band aids are.
Aug 16, 2014
Aug 16, 2014 at 1:14 AM UTC
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
Just keep saying it.
It is OKAY.
The world will not end,
and you probably won't fail anyway.
Even if you did, there is always a backup plan.
Barring a backup plan, the world will keep spinning.
and...
in the catastrophically unlikely event that
our little planet stops going 'round,
you will no longer be.
That's a comforting thought, really.
That if anything were that bad, we wouldn't have to endure it.
Oct 8, 2014
Oct 8, 2014 at 8:46 PM UTC
Bitter thoughts redirecting infinite wavering change
Manipulative and graceful even
Catastrophically inclined because negativity was a habit brewing
Possibly her only hope, if that isn't ironic enough
Everything is a reflection of irony
Stardust was result of all my wishes
I've never seen perfection sparkle so bright, as sober as that night
Perfectly gleaming through a thunderstorm, effortlessly painting chaos's masterpiece
Beautiful
The sunset beamed through the prism of my heart
There she was smiling back at me
Sep 26, 2014
Sep 26, 2014 at 4:23 PM UTC
You don't think you can surprise me, but you surprise me with how I beautiful I think you are everytime I see you,
You surprise me with how much I miss you everytime we part ways,
You surprise me with how much you mean to me every waking minute,
You surprise me with how much I want you every throbbing second,
You surprise me with how much I love you and how much you mean to me Everytime I think if you.
It stills blows my mind how one person can affect another in such a positive way so strongly! I love you catastrophically and thank you for being my sweet surprise!
Dec 14, 2014
Dec 14, 2014 at 2:41 PM UTC
Raspy, sexified tones began tightening
Like nooses around my throat
A trail of corpses appeared nonexistent
To millions of natural eyes
Catastrophically I was yet another victim
In the pages of ****** that she had composed
She must be found
Sep 7, 2012
Sep 7, 2012 at 11:00 PM UTC
Caught up in the laws you provide
In order to survive
Who you are and WHY??!!
you are so catastrophically
****** up in your ******* mind
DOES NOT MATTER TO ME
Nor does the idea "not scared of any judge anymore"
**** block all you want,
I'm still gonna score..
Jun 6, 2016
Jun 6, 2016 at 11:19 PM UTC
Dousy burnt world,
Ruthlessly ravaged.
Misery misfortune gathering the preys.
Green grassland defeated of inferno.
Creatures blacker without flesh,
of sordid blast bomb.
Lives gone,treasures lost.
Oceans dried.
Atmosphere of smoke,
Horrow rained and reigned
Few creatures are left trackless.
Songs of Bomb,
Vapours of disaster,
Humans as sheep without shephard.
Catastrophically creatures chase safety.
Indeed the dream was no good.
Jan 13, 2015
Jan 13, 2015 at 9:50 AM UTC
These showers of mine
Drown my many fears
With showers of Earth
Hiding streams of tears
Dripping so solemnly
A melancholy rhythm
It fills me with streams
Of watery dissonance
With voices resounding with malignant contempt
Echoes fervently clouding my mind
I listen and weep, remembering the sound
"be gone my child, for you are unworthy"
Crumbling catastrophically
Within my torturing abyss
A broken sky of crystal shards
Every piece, mirroring my misery
I'm hurt
Hurricanes of emotions whirling within me
I'm scared
But press forward to the march of drops
Beginning my pilgrimage, an arduous adventure
To rebuild from their wounds, so innocently inflicted
To light my sky once more with humble fire
And tread, steadfast, along the rivers of the rain
"Après la pluie, le beau temps"
May 25, 2016
May 25, 2016 at 2:23 PM UTC