"bordem" poems
Where did we go Wrong, Perhaps we weren't meant to BE,
Illusion of our Minds, made to be Taught,
for what it Means, we both don't Know,
in Time, we thought it was Best,
Best for what, to be Married or to be Part,
a Part from each other,
not knowing where we will BE,
the Facts are there, there is no Truth or Honesty,
we both thought, it was good, but at the End,
a Story became Real, Real to each other,
but then, things Happen, we Forgotten who we are,
Times that went ON, no one new, it would Happen,
Life was Real, knowing each other for so Long,
Going to School, Dating High School,
Dancing in the Wind, Party all Night Long,
but Look at now, we thought it was Good,
we thought Marriage was the Answer,
to be Together, but it became Real,
we didn't know, what we wanted in Life,
Mistake came, Hurt Feels came, Dishonesty and Trust is Lost,
what went Wrong, we both don't Know, the Answers were there,
we just Lost each other in Time, Bordem was there,
Life of Love, where did it go, Thank God, Children weren't involve,
but it all Happen so Fast, we both went to Fast,
Love was in the Air, but not in Marriage, our Distance went further,
we both went Further, we forgotten each other,
Love was there, but in Marriage, we weren't Ready to be,
Thank God, Children weren't involved,
Perhaps this was meant to be, we still can be Friends,
but then again, we both don't know, would we Find each other,
Once again, begin a new Chapter in Life,
Let the Love begin again, Perhaps we would know then, not now,
Long Love Lasted for a while, but in Life, Marriage wasn't the Answer,
to us Both, Lets Part away, Until then, lets not say Good-Bye forever,
it's just Fear, to what went Wrong, but in Life, it was Real,
when we were both Young and Wild,
Love was there, Marriage wasn't, we both weren't Ready,
to be, Man or Wife, Life was Good, but now, Lets Fade away,
In the Mist of Dust, the Light of the Dark,
lets not make anymore Mistakes, will see each other in another Time,
who knows when, if it would Happen, but now,
Distance between us, is knowing, we were Wild and Free,
but Love was there, but not in Marriage.
Apr 10, 2012
Apr 10, 2012 at 4:35 PM UTC
I can't even focus
My thoughts are so cluttered
Merged with my emotions
Makes me irrational
Paranoia chokes me
Apathy chains me down
Memory’s dark I can't see
You lying little *****
It's all in my head
Do as the voices say
It's All in my head
Hallucinations and accusations
All in my head
Not sure what to believe
My anger, my love and lust
Triggered by loneliness
On my own and lost
Maybe over-thinking
Nervous twitches won't leave
***** headaches,depression
Nothing's wrong with me
A soap opera in my mind
Alone with my thoughts
This happens a lot
Don’t know what to do
But I'm blaming it on you
It's all in my head
My doubt and disbelief
It's all in my head
My hands shake as my mentality breaks
All in my head
Not sure what I see
Exile lead to anger
Anger went to sadness
Sadness turned to bordem
Bordem morphed to
WAKE UP
It's all in my head
That means I'm in control
It's all in my head
Clean this mess, burn my empty stress
All in my head
I will succeed
Mar 4, 2015
Mar 4, 2015 at 8:44 PM UTC
if time went into storage
wouldn’t that be great
all those moments that went adrift
just waiting to be claimed
like a ‘lost and found’ for time
sounds quite bizarre
it must be at its brim by now
bending out the walls
i must admit most of that time
is all because of me
those 10 minutes that I fell asleep
just because of bordem
queues I had endured
loitering through the streets
tangled between the sheets
lying down watching the fan
making patterns on my hand
doodling the armegoden
simple things, useless things
but most in vain
the time I spent
waiting for true love
pursuing those who’d disregard
someone like me
someone not worth their time
i suppose I wish
there was a way
to get back all that time
all that time I could’ve used
to waste another way.
Sep 10, 2018
Sep 10, 2018 at 12:37 AM UTC
I can feel you from here. I can sense sadness, anger, lust, and fear. Sensing the atmosphere. Do we all share one consciousness? Like the internet exchanging information? Where has all the magic gone? These modern times are killing us all. Or is it just me?
Oct 27, 2014
Oct 27, 2014 at 3:18 AM UTC
Cursing the crap cluttered coats hanging in their rigor-mortis regiments
only to fall to the floor again
and again.
I cannot speak to insufferable sirens but suffer alone instead
Crying into the soft white bread and texting tormentedly
Lost is everything insignificant that I desperately require
Gone is the fear of Sugared words: 'you're fired'
Leaving for more clustered, flustering days
that fade to an unreachable haze
I sit inside time, it taunts my heart
flashing past in joy and in bordem refusing to part
Decisions must be decided and lessons must be learnt
as I shall push myself, but this should hurt more,
More shoved into my core
which trembles flabbily inches from the floor.
Do not question me
Do not inquire
Just provide me with the life i desire.
Forgive my childishness and ranting scrawl.
But i'm tired, and I only see days before a fall
Dec 3, 2011
Dec 3, 2011 at 2:50 PM UTC
Just the same old feeling
of bordem
of nothing
Everything drained
by life
by you
pushed out
over
and over
until there's nothing left
except
old feelings
I still have for you
May 15, 2016
May 15, 2016 at 5:51 AM UTC
Is my cause to live the cause for eternal death?
Is my cause for death my cause for eternal life?
As I have mentioned in my other writings, nothing ever dies.
The physical form diminishes into thin air and rots, and the soul, the spirit, the ghost, takes on a new form.
This bordem got me feelin' weak.
Hearing other peoples thoughts, conversations, am I being tested to immoral justice?
Am I being tested to focus on the subconscious, even though it hurts more than the conscious.
It hurts, to have a gift of such empathy and unconditional love.
I feel 100 knives stab me all at once.
It twists through the knots of my intestines
It rips my skin off and allows my blood to pour
It pulls my heart out and has me aching in misery
BETRAYAL
It's something I've experienced but still experiencing.
It HURTS.
So bad, my mind has me in sorrowful loneliness.
"Cannot trust anybody"
She says a million times, and that voice, that voice is right.
They smile to your face but whisper unwanted words to your back.
The wonder of who's real has me whimpering in weakness.
I have become weak and it is my thoughts to blame.
I fear them...
Nobody to trust but my unwanted pain.
Jan 19, 2019
Jan 19, 2019 at 7:27 AM UTC
My Madeline, my dear.
Forever was made inn the image of us.
I love you.
Your everything.
Sinners and saints.
Bad and good.
Were leaning more towards the worst side of things.
But it suits us.
We are each other.
Your me and im you.
No plain days.
No bordem.
Nothings ever dull.
But the truth is i hate you.
I hate you so much for being so much better then me.
At everything.
I love it though.
I love the fact i know i'll never live up to ever be as good as you.
I might be telling lies.
But i do love you.
Darling i love you.
Jun 17, 2012
Jun 17, 2012 at 11:22 PM UTC
I spend far too many nights sleeping with empty bottles
That once held the liquor I drown my sorrows in
I sleep far too little
The baggage under my eyes is so apparent
That a permanent shadow resides beneath my hollow eyes
I spend too much time loving all the wrong people
And loving nobody at all
I stay out till 5am with people I don't care much for
Just because I know they can offer me everything I want;
Drugs and alcohol.
I wake up with cuts and bruises,
And sometimes with no recollection of my past night
I slit my flesh open out of bordem
And I kiss my whiskey bottle more than any boy or girl I have ever dated
I am in love with freeing myself from my mind
With the high liquor and drugs offer
But when I am awake and sober
I always realize that I'm never really "free"
'Life'... it's a trap
And no amount of ***** and drugs will set you free
Well, that is as long as breath is still willing itself
In and out of your pathetic body
Aug 8, 2014
Aug 8, 2014 at 4:09 AM UTC
The thrill, the ride, the joy of the scare
The flash, the tide
The heat of being there
The love in which you never did fall
The smiles, the laughs,
The act too fool us all
The silence, the awkward between the two
The wave, the goodbye
As bordem does as its supposed to
The anger the clash, the need to always fight
The hate, the fear
The straying from the light
The names, the fingers pointed across the hall
The blood, the stain
As you watch the world fall down
Feb 21, 2013
Feb 21, 2013 at 9:41 PM UTC
i wake up every morning longing for more sleep
i look at the clock
im already behind schedule
i leave my my room to see my family
my biggest bullies
i go through the motions of getting ready for the day
i look in the mirror and im unsatisfied with what i see
but i feel hopeless about being able to change it
i go through my day experiencing small bits of joy
but mainly bordem, lonlieness, and unluckieness
i get home on whatever time depending on the day
and i go to my room
then i see and hear you
through my laptop and tablet
and i realize its not so bad
thankyou for being my source of joy
i love you liam james payne
Apr 21, 2014
Apr 21, 2014 at 4:01 PM UTC
By Arcassin Burnham
Glad to be saying I don't like it here,
problems come and problems go,
just to grow up in a town where they hang you and they laugh at you and leave to wither.
Pushing daisies over here ,
bordem strikes me everyday,
I want excitement in a life worth living to potray and away in a haze.
Nothing left for me here,
I need to get away from here,
because lies won't stop and the people want
vengeance in world where they just take and take.
My skin is always a problem,
Thats why I always stay at home,
I feel disgusted at a country that is built using slaves and its own propaganda.
Sick and tired of fake people,
And women that just want your money,
cause they will use and abuse and accuse you of anything they want it to be.
And I think love is joke,
I tell them what they wanna hear,
because I've been hurt so many times to the point where love is a unimaginable fear.
Theres no doubt in my mind,
That being a loner suits me,
it was all about me and no one else in the world full of Cruelty,
Thats why I Got a Hole in my heart.
Aug 2, 2018
Aug 2, 2018 at 12:07 AM UTC
The thing I've learned about demons inside
that you can't seem to ward off,
is that you shouldn't waste any more time
trying to fight them
or banish them.
They are quite stubborn and ruthless.
Instead, you should be aware that they exist,
and learn to accept them as a part of you.
Give them a small corner in your mind to live in,
know where they sit, but ignore them.
Let them sit alone in their dark room.
Eventually, they go pretty silent out of bordem.
Other times, they break through...
& when they start to come out, just yell:
"Go back to your room!"
This usually works for me. :)
Other times, I just exercise or write.
----------------------------------------------
DISCLAIMER: this does not mean ignore all your negative thoughts and bottle them up. Self-growth is one of the most powerful and enjoyable things in life; it's also very stressful. But sometimes there are things about ourselves we just have to accept. I have to accept that I have an addictive personality and that I sometimes make too many assumptions with my wild imagination. Whenever I get the urge to overuse, I say no, or I go hoop. Whenever I create scenarios in my head, I say nope, it's not true until I see it.
Mar 10, 2017
Mar 10, 2017 at 2:19 PM UTC
In a haze...
Saddened, bored, in isolation.
Dealing with all the pain, loss and hurt in the silence. Dealing with Bordem and hidden feelings coming to the surface of me.
20 breakdowns, and still managing to smile.
Tired, brain dead
My persona may show differently , but I'm private and hiding in my curtains
When will I see the light of day?
Intense, emotional, transparent
An Awakening through the darkness.
Forced to deal with the feelings I kept myself detached from for so long 🙃
Sleeping all day all night 🌙
Nov 17, 2024
Nov 17, 2024 at 4:33 AM UTC
Where is the divide between what we owe people and what we owe ourselves?
My conscience say no,
my beliefs say yes,
my mouth says no,
you say yes.
My body is undecided.
I listen to the people in my mind and they tell me everything I already know...
Because despite years of living with myself I still am unsure and hesitant.
Don't misunderstand me;
the affection I hold for you is far too great for me to contain,
but it is also not enough to make this easy for me.
The women inside me are bickering
and loving
and protective
and supportive.
But I don't know how to encompass them all.
They are erratic and silent
and when they look through my eyes, all that people see is the confusion
and the fear
Sometimes they mistake it for bordem and I don't know why.
How can anyone be bored with all these footsteps walking through my memories?
Through my thoughts,
through my fears;
the emotions sticking like sap to their barefoot soles.
I am no more than these whispers and screams inside my mind,
but these girls and women are strong
and vulnerable
and ready to give themselves up while holding their own forms with white knuckles and bleeding crescent moons dug into purple veined skin.
The cages that we build for ourselves are made of fear.
The cage I have constructed for myself grows smaller and larger with every shuddering breath I take,
it's form is about as consistent as my wavering beliefs and foregoing decisions.
My shaking hands trace unfamiliar planes and I don't want to close my eyes just yet.
The room is dark
There is no ticking clock;
the silence breathes life into those whispers on the other side of my ear drums,
they bang tunes upon the stretched skin and howl at the moon like men not yet born anew.
The cage collapses inwards
as the darkness under my eyes drags towards my feet,
the tiredness leaking into my bones through my porous skin.
Apr 3, 2017
Apr 3, 2017 at 2:44 PM UTC
Freedom is illusion,
We have become dissolution-ed to that notion.
The definition of freedom, you may think me a madman,
Let me alleviate bordem, With this wisdom.
A sip of water, before we begin.
"The power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants"
Is this really the case?
Can we use words as we please? Has it been structured to be used only as they feel?
There is being insensitive, then there is being just mean.
What if we rough around the edges? don't say what I mean?
We guided by signals, life is controlled by media, worlds thoughts through a little big screen.
Their twisted agendas silently pushed through, a constant reel.
By showing lying images that makes your heart feel.
Bombarded constantly with same concept
Until your thoughts are numb, and it can no longer heal.
You cant think anymore, truths getting blurred.
The facts was airtight.
You thought you 100 percent sure
As they whisper all around you
That lines starts slowly to blur
Your resolve has dissolved
With the truth getting blurred.
Your stance on this subject has been slowly reversed, without leaving your home, your soul have been cursed.
Now we in confinement
There's nowhere to escape
So it's going to get worse.
Am I just clutching at straws?
Have we built up a tolerance
Have we become uncursed
They have been telling so many lies, what they now say, do we switfly disperse
Don't pretend you do not know where I'm coming from
This must hit a nerve, it's the truth within a plea
This message diverse.
May 3, 2020
May 3, 2020 at 11:10 AM UTC
Empty wine bottles
Boardgames
Makeup stained sheets
Give it a few weeks
Our periods sync
our hair clogs together
in the shower drain
We lose track of who's is whos
And share laughter clothes and virtue
DIY haircuts
Phobias
Leftovers
Milk carton sniffing
Living with women
We scrape around
Recycling Tuesdays
Two pound for the bus to town
But I like to walk around
rents gone up
So has life
Overpriced
Cod and chips
Read my lips
Pre-drinks so we can afford
to go out on the ****
Self diagnosis
No sleep
Sore feet
Feed the cat
Call me back
Borrowed socks
All I've got
Something always missing
Living with women
Gratitude
expired ****
Deliveroo
No looroll mid poo
Overjoyed
Underpaid
Petty fights
Pilau rice
Love of my life
what's should we watch tonight?
Deadlines
Parking fines
2 sugars please
Mind at ease
But eek those shoes don't go with these
Panic attack
Midnight snack
Summers gone just like that
Stick and pokes
Just for jokes
Long weekends
Best friends
Manic episode
Girl code
Sound proof
Shortbread
Bed head
Bad breath
Razor blades
Lucazade
Feng shui
Hungover for days
Like we're running out of ways
keeping entertained for free
Bordem beginning
Monotonous misery
Fomo
Comrodory
Unnecessary jealously
But you bring out the best in me
Sloppy secrets
Morning mindgames patrol
Toilet bowl throw up goal
Empowered
After hours
Talking till it's all said twice
247 advice
Ready salted luck you've been given
The days you thank ****
To know these women
Feb 22, 2024
Feb 22, 2024 at 2:41 PM UTC