******-Angry girl took over last night. She is explosive with rage and it is fierce and uncontrolled. She physically and verbally abuses the little girl inside of me, and although she is not a threat to anyone but us, she does like to verbally abuse Dear Therapist, via email. Sometimes a few months will go by without her taking over, sometimes only a few weeks, but she has been present since Monday, relentlessly torturing the rest of us. She wants to die. She cannot handle the pain, the past is overwhelming and she knows of no other way out. She strongly believes that Dear Therapist manipulated the 5 year old into trusting him, and then once he declared victory of getting the untrustable to trust, he decided he could just take off and not be there for her. And Angry Girl HATES Dear Therapist for that! Because after all these years of independence and never relying on anyone to help or “be there”, now the baby who cries for Dear Therapist’s help at night, drives us f#%king crazy!

Not only did ******-Angry girl cut me last night, she sent some emails to Dear Therapist. Emails that were discovered today when I checked my sent file. ******-Angry Girl wants to cut the whiny baby out of my body. She hates her. She wants Dear Therapist to go away. She hates him too.

Below is an excerpt from the emails sent to Dear Therapist. It’s ******-Angry Girl’s anger that scares me. She will **** me…it’s only a matter of time. She won’t stop until it happens. She has no will to live she wants only to escape the endless pain.

Angry ****** Girl: I am not fearful of death. ******* welcome it! Hope u enjoyed ur vacation! Thanks for caring and taking my "fear" seriously" (huge amounts of dripping poisonous sarcasm!) Ur so great and I'm so nothing! So I shouldn't be missed! and I guess ur "best" doesn't include calling me bk n 24 hrs- does it? For future reference, get a ******* back-up! There will be times when the "crazy" clients can't wait for a week to ******* deal w/a "non-existent" fear!!! **** u and ur ******* rose colored glasses! I'm not afraid of ******* dying! Dying will be a ******* relief!!! **** that man! **** that sorry man who calls himself Dad! He ******* Ruined all of it! ******* hate u! I ******* hate u and ur ******* "stay present"! U ******* stay present in my body every ******* nite! I ******* told u it was bad! But as usual, u blew me off "it’s only 3 emails" no big deal" **** u!!! It may not be a big deal to u, but it was a huge ******* deal to me!!! But **** it! Obviously that wasn't impt to u! Becuz I don't matter! Nothing here that can hurt me right now!?!?U go ahead and believe that - w/ur rose colored glasses on, dear therapist- becuz he will **** me. And when he does, don't ******* preach "theresz nothing that can hurt u right now, Nita" nothing. Ur so ******* wrong about that! In fact, I'm offended tht u even said it! How contradictory of u! "ur fear is real to u- I've nvr said it isn’t" Really? That's not what ur ******* saying now!? I hope when I'm dead u don't preach that **** to someone else. I hope if someone else comes to u and tells u he's going to **** her u ******* think about me and what happened to me- and ******* believe it! Becuz it IS real right the **** now!!!! It is ******* real!!! This could not have worked out better! ******* ***** is aware that u don't hear her now- so she won't tell anything! We are done- I can cut her out of her misery! Finally!!!

It will never stop. There is no way it will ever stop. I am discouraged and hurting. There is no escape. There are no answers. There is nothing but this endless pain. And he doesn’t care. I tried to tell him, but he doesn’t listen. It’s worse when he’s gone. And he can kiss my *** with his “Put it in a safe container” – HELLO!!!! There’s no way to contain it! It’s like trying to put pour rain back into a cloud! Why the hell can’t he see that? There’s no way to ‘check’ the pain at the door when I ******* leave his office! It’s ******* Hotel California! There is no escape! I cannot leave.

Our fellow "*******" people, or should I say mentally handicapped, have two eyes, a nose, and a beating heart far more large and caring then any1 else's. Everyday people abuse the word "******" We use it to describe something slow or stupid. The problem with this is that everytime you use that word, you're insulting a group of people that cannot defend themselves.
  The mentally handicapped aren't locked in dark basements to rot and die anymore; they're out in the world living as every1 else. And becuz of this we've "accepted" them right? We're a big happy and accepting world to every single human being becuz we're all equal! WRONG. We glorify freedom and how wonderful it is, but with freedom comes hate. With freedom comes words that r always going to be there forever, just to remind the human race that some1 with an extra chromosome is different.

it's hard to predict
the course of coming
destruction,
wide or narrow
I ponder the future path
as waters
will always find a way
my father said,
if she's angry in her wrath,

see the ones
that had never
breached their banks
that swell up
surging ***** water
fast within,
just a few brief minutes
before,
it comes
in such
high waters again,

all is flooded quickly

everything in sight,
then just...
g...o...n...e
all is just
gone without a fight,

yes including,
my dear old parents
sweet abode

in the terrible flood
of that ***** Irene

an if anyone had been there
that day at their home
they likely would have died
it's like nothing I have ever
really seen,

an today, as
the worst storm
in the history
of what we know
recorded,
is bearing down
on our lovely crying planet?

so I ask- what do you think
you can do
when the fire comes raging,
will you put it out or fan it?

I think,
to myself
I am seeing
many new animals
especially the birds,
rare ones,
insects and plants,
an some look just quite absurd
it is exciting but scary
but seriously different weather
well
i say why are you not wary?
becuz
if you don't believe
in climate change
or global warming
NOW?


well God please help us all.

Ma Cherie © 2017

I'm like an overgrown child
in this world
who keeps bumping
and stumbling
I've tried to change too
its emotional intelligence they say
so i put on a mask
and learn to walk smooth
learn to speak in an confident way
but then my true personality
would be exposed soon
becuz the mask makes me breathless
i start to despise the pretense
so I'm back to square one again
and keep banging my head
the world is too big and tall
it's supposed to be able to accommodate all
kinds of people
the first thing you need to do
is grow up
but the only thing left is
i am standing still
i am not afraid anymore
of being alone
i just want to pursue
my own sun and moon.

She ain't never **** a black boi but she use the word *****
And Her blk home girls give her the encouragement to pull that trigger
Born in the hills but addicted to the hood
I'm her curse and blessing man this ***** is always up to no good

Blue eye devil who love the dark skin
She said she never had it so deep when a ***** went in
She drive listen to legends biggie hov and Rudeboi
She told me she was looking for her pleaser stick so I just nibble her like a chew toi
Snap backs and Jordan's She's a ***** for retail
She got that white girl syndrome but cursed by the black details

Hello to the west end she went and add her best friend
Slave to the lifestyle but she know she will never fit in
Banded by color but my girl went ratchet
When she Confirm the fair-tale of food stamps and welfare Status
Racist antics but she defer the approach
Cuz her white friends can't understand what her blk friends don't

Family of mix feelings her dad told her no
Mama said be your self and get to know the unknown
I give her the face of a sign that saids do not enter
Becuz what you think you wanna no is better if you won't remember

But in the false claim we built into better bitter lovers
So lesson is always learn never judge a book by its cover

I've always used bright crayons,
and I've always picked,
  very interesting & bold options,
I try to use various alternative methods,
uniquely me and yet relatable,
I know I am different,
I'm OK with that,
I totally embrace my "weird"
and my "normal"
every part of me is beautiful somehow.

Though I didn't always I see it that way,
I've said it before "hindsight is insight "
so it all helps,
to paint in words more accurately.

I sometimes apply more technique,
to obtain a darker shade,
for example,
I use crosshatching,
or use more pressure to darken,
add light where needed,
there must be more than 50 shades of grey,
the way people describe things so differently yet the same,

Thoughtfully I'd enhance blood red,
gentle but deliberate strokes,
so many lovely colors in a telluric bed,

I especially love my old,
Vermont wildflower garden,

So I don't only use crayons,
I use sharpies, pencils and paint,
anything available,
whatever tools are required,
sights, sounds, tastes,
all play a role,
necessary ingredients,
some things to omit,

A very special thanks,
to the blossoms of that garden,
lovely lady slippers, snapdragons,
daises and lupines,
every season just so breathtaking,
always sharing and imparting sage wisdom,
those amazing forests and animals,
strangers friends and family,
teachers are everywhere & everything,
it's every song I'll ever sing,

I did not even mention,
the gift the waters,
give,
frozen beauty this time of year,
icicles and snowflakes,
black ice and cold dark dangerous depths,
No,
freezing temperatures won't deter a poet,

We must nurture poetry,
becuz poetry is everything,
in nature and music,
and life and love,
so even if you think your poetry *****,
keep writing,
that will change,
with honing skills,

If you're writing then you must see the world like a poet,
can you imagine a world without it?
I know I can't.

Did you know onions make a lovely imprint,
on Easter eggs?

Sometimes I just have to describe it,
remember into the past,
draw that vein up,
write it out,
word *****
****
( I have 22 poems in the "works" )
there I said it,
page after page after page,
purge for yourself and for others,
use your God given voice,
and if you got any talent?

It ain't like it's a choice,
look out world,
cuz maybe you're going to,
touch a lot of people,
and not even know you have the ability,
and when you do?

Well you just want to share,
not for the credit,
not for acclaim or false feigned affection,
not for any Earthly praise,
becuz,
you keep hearing that sound,
an so you gotta get it down,
when you want to sleep,
and you just can't think
cuz it keeps coming like a flood,
like no chance to blink,
I know you know poets,
you feel me?

And honestly,
I am only interested in coloring the truth,
so I will use a pencil if that's what I see,
or an eraser,
if necessary,

I use my truth,
your truth,
OUR truth,
to color all my poetic words.

My mentor
my motivation
my moonlight at high noon
my starlight swoon
my sunlit beach in june
  even if it's a dreary january

the reason my heartbeat wants to breathe
  from the moment it actually got to meet you in the physical world  
  and realized the miracle truth of what it already believed...that all of
  the texts and emails and messages were only false in that they  
  ludicrously understated the absolute of Yur light Yur personality Yur
  energy Yur Blue Eyes ability to express and explain and exude that
  the world is wonderful and it's even immeasurably better with
  You...from that instant when we sat together by the fire and I ached to
touch You and my poetheart promised the universe whatever it  
wanted for the daily renewed memory of kissing You  

my dream
whether asleep or awake
the only fantasy which moves me
the only reality meant for me
my only failure that matters
the only forever that shatters

the reason the word awesome exists
or did I say amazing
or gorgeous
or silly sweet
or perfect
or exciting
or comfort
or Happy
or Hottie
or please kiss me NOW
or please let me please You
or touch me with Yur eyes
or hold me in Yur thighs
or nestle into my cuddle
  as I nestle into your soul
or any and every detail of You
  is why I want awareness
or did I mention that what you consider mundane about Yur life, Yur day
  when shared with You was a meteor shower at play

my muse
my music
  the soundtrack in my mind
  I waited forever to find
my love
my lust
my life
  the only Belief
  I ever actually Believed
  
the reason my heartbeat hopes breathing wasn't just a dream or a cruel memory
  from the moment of thrown away and broken and farther from
  awesome than possible i still exist despite the day-to-day lack of
desire to do so becuz my mind sings even within sorrow with echoes
of the soundtrack for my surreal world, the multi-faceted platinum
album of the funnest person the fullest woman (how can You be
everything?!?!) I've ever met or even seen who somehow inexplicably
LOVED me for a while (really...blue-on-blue-within-blue I saw inside  
Her inside Me)

my best day (she's US with me!)
my worst day (she's done with me)
my nervous excitement every single second since we met
my molten full-spectrum heartbeat (silly and sweet)
my only wish
  one fish
  two fish
  red fish
  blue fish
    my only wish

the only reason I keep breathing today
  becuz maybe there could be a someday

When everybody tells me that I can be anything I want,
I was born to do what I want,
I believe them.

So, I was born to be wild.
Or maybe I was born 2 b wild (numeral and letter)
or brn2bwld (no vowels nospaces)

I'm a poet and I'm proud to say
**** form     and while im at it, **** the word
*** (no c) and **** the grammar of needing to put the apostrophe in im
Because I write as i want i am as I want and nothing can
Change that.

like gatsby the Great i have given birth to Myself and
I am me, no
One                 ELSE
not even gatsby or any Ayn Randian wetdream dreamed of on a midsummer night because
fk (no c no vowels) Shakespeare and fitzgerald and the shrugging atlas

becuz (uz instead of ause)
this is Me

and no One, not a duckface peacesign Mona Lisa or a bandanawearing bazookawielding Benjamin Franklin
can ever destroy
t     h     a     t

because (no change) I am born to be wild (no change)

oh the overcasting
dreary weather
the sun just looks sooooo
grey
oh damb you my sweet sweet sunshine
why'd ya hafta go away?

oh the sky
looking suspicious
ominous is my
dark and sunless sky
now tenebrous an so dull
as I often wonder why
as I find a sweet moment
in the a lull,
an clouds above are full,
so then you know that I
I must anticipate the cry,
....oh sigh...

we -
just plodding along
the clouds now form
in a flowing heavy floor
I hear stomping godly feet
an then the slamming of a door
boy it sure looks now so moody
an it's hard to just ignore

oh I say baby
it is like a leaden sky load
a heavy mess of pain in dear heaps
raining here now
on my dear sweet sweet abode
that man how he weeps an he weeps
he waters my garden now too
everywhere his loving
just seeps and it seeps
as his joy and his pain
it just reaps and it reaps,

oh back through the earth
an then back to the sea
as he pines after her
yes his sweetest Daphne,
oh his wonderful love
oh where you might be?

an but to be the God
of all that
sweet poetry
prophecy
medicine and
Light?
I just don't know why he must cry
I guess it must be that **** night
because then he must wait again- ignite
looking for his lover Daphne
that she'll be in his sight
then making sweet love again
all will be alright
sigh

so as he burdens my deary sky
tho I shall not be depressed
I might hafta go an ask him why
is he is feelin so distressed
when to be the God of what I say everything
I'd say that man is blessed
but perhaps he don't remember
a memory repressed?

oh an it's a-comin dark again
in shadows falling quick
reluctantly he goes behind
mountains
but feeling low an thick
he needs so much to shine on
it's left him feeling sick

he needs your sweet waters deep,
to cry your nector
must be
he only wants to worship you lover
the way he is worshipped too,
you see,

he is a-cryin my sky
becuz my dear he's just
waitin
on your sweet sweet love again.

Ma Cherie @ 2017

Siempre cojo y voy por los que quiero y no lo que necesito
Ahora el bombeo de amor en mi corazón hace sangrar
Así que el bebé no me hagas que tu resistencia
Ima necesito que me haces tu existencia

No puedo creer que me dejaras hablar en mi propia terapia
Y ahora no tengo la paciencia para estas perras que se encuentren actuando de dudoso
Dijiste que no podías confiar en tu corazón
¿Es becuz de alguien nuevo o cuando nos fuimos aparte

Presa por lo que esta es la forma en que terminamos ... No podemos hablar de esto
Ahora, cuando se ve con otra persona ..... ¿Debo sentirme asqueado
Catch me jodidos demonios describo como Angels
Y dicen que el amor es una batalla secreta pero eso es el tipo de amor no me guardar para mí

There are so many ways to show it,
But im sure you already know it..
I mean, through all our ups and downs,
After all the smiles and frowns..
It ends this way, man I dnt even know what to say..
We used to be so cool and so close
Out of all them girls, I loved you the most..
We went through so much mess,
Man we had so much stress,
But the truth is it ended none-the-less..
We laughed, lived, loved together,
Through all the rain, sleet and stormy weather..
We talked, we cried, we grew closer as time went by,
Man, now it feels like its pointless why did we even try..
I guess its the way life goes
And though, they say everybody knows,
They really dnt becuz its somethin they cant, and wont,
Understand cuz you see,
Its not them its you and me..
And while im sittin here tryin to let it out,
I know yall over there trying to figure who im tlkin abt..
But dnt worry, if its you, you will know cuz its deep.
My feelings are what you call sweet..
Man, you got me goin in circles,
You my laura, ill be your urkel..
Man, im sittin here feeling like a geek,
Its funny how i thought it would really be me..
Man, lifes a roller coaster,
Im bout the leave the theme park and coast..
it might be for the best,
But im gon miss you the most..
I mean, honestly, i cant belive love is doin this ya see,
I always thought they love we had was a good thing..
But ive found love has no definite path,
It only works if you are willing to make it last..
Im willing now, I was then, I always will be,
But thats the hardest part of it for me..
Cuz love takes over and it controls my actions,
It starts off adding love plus me and you,
It equals, making you happy is all I wanna do..
Ok, now divide you and me,
You get an unreal answer cuz its meant to be..
Well thats wat the signs tell me..
Im runnin out of words to say,
I'll let my actions shopw you the mathematics of me and you.
And how when you take away the love, its not true..
Well shawty, thats it,
I aint got nothin left to say..
Man, I hope you start to realize all of this one day..

-"QT"-

By: Cedric McClester

I say march on
To Talladega
Why try to make
The issue mega
Cuz it ain’t about
His inauguration
It’s about respect
For our nation

Just becuz
He may be hated
Why should the office  
Be underrated
That’s not to say
That I’m elated
Becuz the band
Participated

Despite protests
You can place your bets
We’re gonna see
Those Rockettes
Dancing and
Kicking their heels
No matter how bad
Inside it feels

Then there’s
The Mormon Tabernacle Choir
Who will perform
As they aspire
But from the guest list
We can see
They’re lacking
In celebrity







Cedric McClester, Copyright © 2017.  All rights reserved.

No matter how many papers we write, protest we have, and laws we pass, we will be surrounded by Hatred. Hatred isn't just a emotion you feel. It's in everything we do and say. It's the voice telling you who ur suppose to be. It's society defining u in numbers. Hatred is this world. It doesn't make sense to me becuz we're created to be an individual standard, yet we're always trying to fit into a standard. But out of all the never ending hatred, inequality, unfairness and agony, only u can define yourself. You have a short amount of time on this earth. Be the change you wish to see

I never wanna tell u
What I really wanna say
I'm just here too help u no need to runaway
My words are my best friends
That I won't ever chase
Wont beg for attention dont need u too stay

If you dont want
Break up that bond
Got it all wrong now u wake up all gone ..
Nothing is permanent
Just take my word for it
You'll be returning quick thinkin you learned new tricks
Not here to disappoint u but I have no choice
Notice destruction you cannot avoid
Lost in the noise flanted my voice
Traded my toys for songs I enjoyed
No one will help u until ur heart stops
Wat ever u know prove ur heart is on top
Ignoring the news while my art hopes for props showed u the thruth and u started too pause
Look at the view like a portrait that's rare
Looking at u becuz ur unware
Too late for mistakes no need too compare
Living day by day fully prepared
I'm not here too force
I just wanna help
Get lost in the course I keep hurting myself
Mission abort give it too someone else
Lying in court Dont know how I felt
This is what happens when your way too passive

Notice the damage no need 2 panic
Took off the bandage locked in the attic
Just like an addict look how I had it
On Automatic till it fell off a cliff
Last cigarette
Before hell gets dim
Hilighted the meaning
Gave u full emphasis
Lucidly dreaming
Dont need too remenis
Super nintendo sega genesis
When I was younger I couldn't picture this
Random world in tabu why keep
Locking eyes
One bite 2 her lip just too start up the ride ...

Thank you for visiting my memory,
thank you for just dropping by,
replaying that day -
yet again,
repeating in vivid technicolor,
the last long an sad goodbye,
I don't have a single tear though,
as none are left for me to cry,

Predictable,
like a broken record,
how, when an mostly why,

My bedsheets are my torture,
I smell you - an I feel you too,
I twist and turn just ALL night long,
so terrible an so sadly very true,

Well I guess I'll never know those answers,
but if you're bad memories they never fade,
if you never let me let you go,
if my debt is never really ever paid,
if at the alter,
if I am always, always laid,
I can't do that-

Just please stop the technicolor,
dream parade,

Becuz if you never stop haunting my sleep,
you know baby I am not sheep,

I may never get any,

Because I will never be able,
to find real love again,

I'll be much too busy -
out howling -
and baying at the stupid, stupid moon.

Ma Cherie © 2017

Why do you allways sing?
I asked half asleep and watching as he shined polished or cleaned
some mechanical car part I did not reconize
or really care about,
I mostley focosed on the tone of  his voeis as he slerd the words to
turn the page
he looked up at me with only his blue eye
why do I sing? Why, does it bother you?
I did know what to say becuz I did not know if it botherd me
so I just pushed it off with a fake smile
so what was with you yesterday?
I rolled my eyes, I did not want to talk about this or anything...
But he did not stop
huh? Did I do something wrong?
I laught and for a minute it felth like it might be a natural feeling
but he did not do anything wrong he can't if he tryd
and now I know his singing does not bother me
it brings me to life....

your jealousy comes
in an envy green
an your cowardess
shown in yellow

your anger comes
in a
shade of red
an uninvited
is that fellow

an well,
your sadness comes
in a shade of blue
that overwhelms your eyes

though only that
so lovely hue
I say-
looks better
in the skies,

black is what I see
when depression
is with you

an I wish that guy
would NEVER
come around

grey it is the void
when you're
melancholy blue,
an a pin drop
is the ONLY
single sound

sometimes I see ViOleTz
then indigo blue
am I,

I see my reflection
in your very
lovely soul,

an oh every now an then
I see a periwinkle too
peeking through
a curiously small hole

well I love that
shade of blue
it's a favorite
don't you know
the same one
yes you
also have it too,

an you should
really let it show
becuz my baby
don't you know
my love it is just
always color true,

so I wonder
yes I wonder
in this rainbow now of you,

what color then is your love?

Ma Cherie© 2017

how are you?
  the constant question i'm assailed with

how are you?
  the only answer i've come up with:
      horrible
      awful
      heart & soul broken
      viciously violently depressed
      worst i've ever been
      & worse every day
      hate my self
      hate my life
      wish i was dead

my inner self
  is begging to be someone else
it's not the first time
  just the worst time

becuz she wasn't first love
  just first LOVE

the thing is
  as much as i wanted a billion years of youth together
many millions of much's more
  what i wanted was our forever together
and at 85 You would have made me feel just as alive
  and still nervous & excited
and been beautiful
and twirled whirled my soul

**** You didn't want me
  even one more day
so You nicely crumpled me
  and threw me away

it turns out forever
  is 7 months
then it's a lot of never
  for the rest of my months

and the violence of awakening
  (a demon thirst with no slaking)
will be ripping ragged holes in my soul
  far more than 7 months after me heart was torn apart

so how am i?
  me, whose every day begins and ends
    with a sobbing cry

i am hopeful
        hope full
or actually i'm me,
  its absolute opposite....

(please stop asking)

As I'm looking at this new format,
in my utter bewilderment,
I think it must be a bad joke
I mean who really designed
this thing or is it completely broke?

Did you not stop to consult
any people who might be
using it -
like laypersons
( ehem... poets )
for example?

Myself the ex-tech analyst
I would have gladly helped,
as this is exactly what I tried
to prevent at my old job.

Anyway I am not sure
I'm going to be writing on this site
any longer
-unless they do something
about this harrible harrible format!!
and yeah I know I sound like Trump
but it just doesn't work correctly
with my computer
and I also lost a lot of poetry becuz of it.

aw so,
you think you want to love me?
an you think that ya can?
because it's a hell of a thing yeah,
this crazy new plan,

but OK,
so,
let's go,

will you love me- my crazy
my chubby- my lazy?
when I am an orchid
or when I'm a daisy?

when I am annoying
an I'm acting a pain?
will you love me my whacky
as I try to stay sane?

becuz' I'm like the moon
an lovely or not
well I wax an I wane

sigh yes,
even then I will stay true

good, cuz,
mostly I'm peaceful
tranquil and playful
I'm busy with life too
yeah I want me a day full

of loving someone,
who looks JUST like the stars
all shiny an sacred
who'll whipe away scars,

each day I'm a changin'
an each day I will try
right now- yeah evolvin'
I'm not wonderin' on why,

why this or that happens
an why it can't change?

when did he stop to lovin'?
when did we go estranged?

I'll not switch this or that now
I'll  not have rearranged,

I'm not waitin' on nothin'
but I do hope for it all
someone to love me
an to catch if I fall

I just want now to breathe in,
I'm not lookin' for love
instead I'm here waitin'
on the sweet heavens above

to  change my heart -
or his heart
whoever he is
until then I can but sigh now
for I still know true bliss

in simple living pleasures
and the joy of simple things
like barbequed warm sunshine,
an a church bell that still rings
and how I can finally sing now
an man how I LOVE to just sings!

how memories they do tweak us
an how memories they do alter,

as reality it too changes
as the memories they too falter

especially when I am,
I am alone at the alter.

where I'm a prayin' for peace
an a hopin' for rain
to release me the past
any unending pain
to finally let go
of the things felt in vain
whew geesh,

for even those things
they change with the time
an just like this poem
and in every new rhyme

so you think you can love me?
and you'll love me sublime?

Yes.
I do.

I do
love you

I love you boo,
yes yes its true!

hey what can I say
this feeling is so new,
phew, I'm relieved,
it was a conversation
we needed to have
so ..then
let's come together
RIGHT now
very
X-citing possibilities
await
this new love is,
very exciting
quite different
well it feeelzzz just amazing,
to be over the moon in love,
freeing and wonderful,
that MOST special feeling,
you wait like-
4-eva for?

well that feeling,
I know it today,
an I hear it's even called-

"self-love" ❤

I am looking in the mirror,

yes I do ~ I do love you
Ma Cherie!

Ma Cherie © 2017

Please come back to me friend.  You're running to fast and I am stuck in last.  I can't fix what has no sound.  But to know you're ok, would make my heart feel found.  I don't care if you are on the curb, I would still be there holding your hand.  But i can't feel you around. I wish it would rain, cuz its one of our favorite things. I would sit in it all day just to see you complain.  That i might get a cold, but at least I wouldn't be alone.  Yet the absents of things makes me sick, and i want u back, perfect, fine and ok.  I try to hope for a better day.  But all i see is more pain in clouds coming my way.  I try to hold my head high but I am caught by a heavy weight.  And it hurts to breathe becuz i can't see your face.  Yet you told me not to worry but its hard when i don't hear you for days.  And  I wish it would rain, cuz its one of our favorite things.  I would sit in it all day just to see you complain. Iam never leaving you like I said, so please don't leave me to drain.

just need to keep asking
  how long do you think it might be
    until there's even a mote less agony in me

and i was once more wondering
  what ******* year will i again get to be
    anything even remotely like what was me

please please please pity my pleading
  and promise that some eternity maybe
    someone shall seal & heal these soul holes in me

oh look, he's back
  poor pained poet
    oh woe is me

whistle whining back down the track
  poor pained poet
    oh woe is me

******' boo hoo
so she doesn't love you
just becuz she was The One
  and without her dead is the sun

are we all supposed to suspend our lives
  just because you'll never again be alive
NMFP
  not my ******* problem

oh wait
  i'm the broken boy begging
    don't let it be too late

no-one else needs to care
  about the shredded regrets i share
but that don't diminish the damage
  from landing on the razor
    after being thrown over the edge

shhhhh
  don't wake him up
    he hates waking up

cuz he had a breakdown?
  ****** duh!
thrown from heaven to the ground,
  uh, broken, duh
(did i mention the ground was spikes,
   serrated poison-dripping spikes)

dead but unable to die
  death-breath-kiss in every way that matters
but not allowed to die
  just destined to be bleeding amongst the shatters

why must i wake up again
  every ******* everywhen
    without Shannon

I don't know where to start
I'm breaking my own heart
This is so hard
becuz I love you darlin
If only somehow i could be there
with you I swear I would
be there lying next to you right now
letting this all out how I feel inside.
Ever since I met you I felt something so different about you
And even tho we was so many miles apart i felt so close something so special about you opened back up my heart
You touched me with a feeling of your sweet loving arms that could reach
right out and pull me close and just hold me for awhile as we talked for hours and hours on the phone.

Why is poetry so easy to write
when you're really really sad?
Boy when the tears they come again
my muse he will be glad,

Becuz today I'm not that way at all,
well I'm feeling only happy,
so the muse he's gone elusive still,
an my writing rather sappy,

But I will write again I'm sure,
still I pray he let me be,
I want to be a poet true,
though one who's heart is free.
.

Ma Cherie © 2017

Last night I talk to my brother and he said I had a special gift
Something that people would look at me and miss
I said what about my damage and would history repeat itself
He said you just gotta know your values and your wealth

Passive aggressive I do it becuz I wanna evolve
And I hate it for those people who happen to be involve
Cuz this wasn't plan I really think I was chose
Only cuz this is a lesson I made sure was rare like a concrete rose

When I was little I use to be afraid to even grow up
I wish I could go back now cuz it seems those same fears has showed up
I'm only 24 and I'm already too nervous to Live
And I even pray for forgiveness for stupid **** I did

I had one dream saying if I committed suicide it be genocide
So it's a No wonder why me and these haters will always collide
Even in a relationship I learned how to put my pride aside
It still does work out but I just see it as another reason to try

If history repeats itself I wonder which one of my demons will be killed
Will it be by a angel or will it be by my own will
Will time sit still ,
Will the people who say they love me feel a cold chill

I ask this cuz I wanna know if there be a thought involved
Cuz the effect of me on y'all will never be solved
So who holds both end of the line we call destiny
I don't know if Is it by gods hand or just me

My ex said your asking questions you'll never get answers to
She said that's something I am that's something that I do
I guess its just my thinking problem
Ima just let history repeat itself
Unless you think you can solvem

I grew up off of swing sets, hovering over puddles of discontent.  Monkey bars to skip through time, but hold past regrets.  A playground of land mines, to cause distance in my path.  But I ran around anyways, because i didn't have a place.  As the sun crept through the clouds, I knew I was safe.  She was right on the corner, ready to hold my finger, ready to wrap up the pain.  She watched me grow up and dismiss everything.  To take a step back and hide away.  And I am trying to fix this problem, but it gets harder when I slip.  Becuz no one understands these thoughts.  And i can't help but blame.  And though I don't want to be held, she holds me tight, and kisses back the pain.  She was always there, when I couldn't be, and didn't want to be.  And i never could give back, what she gave me, the best i can do is say i love you everyday.

I saw a lovely frog today
a hopping in my garden
he stopped a sec -
to quickly say hello

I said hello to Mr frog
how do you do you do
how do you do,
my lil' hopping fellow?

he said I'm fine
no point to whine
this life is good
so why not be just mellow?

I said good point
just like the sun
in happy summer yellow

we both just sighed
a tad misty eyed,
so grateful for the lovely warmth
becuz in the light we are freed
and as we looked up- agreed
it is what we all need,

that it is always best
to just allow
ourselves
shine.

Ma Cherie © 2017

By: Cedric McClester

It was clear from the beginning
That the only one who’s winning
From the violence underpinning
Why our population’s thinning
Are the morgues and undertakers
As we leave to meet our Maker’s
Heaven high or hell below
Becuz’ ya see, we never know

When our ashes turn to dust
It’s enough to cause disgust
As the perpetrators cuss
Then let their gun shots bust
Two rounds in the head
And the floors are running red
If you heard a word I said
No need to ask if they’re dead

But we’ll swallow up our grief
And no matter our belief
Try to seek Godly relief
For yet another unwarranted beef
And regardless of the venue
Violence is still on the menu
So no doubt it will continue
Like dancers of China’s Shen Yue

Let’s go in the laboratory
To review this time worn story
With its familiar repertory
And ironic allegory
It doesn’t make no sense
Like our Vice President Pence
Guess we’ll be kept in suspense
Until things get less intense












Cedric McClester, Copyright © 2019.  All rights reserved.

I dont ever wanna make you feal like u werent enuff for me
Im Stuck on beats eternaly searching deep for the love beneath
Something keeps calling me no apologies follow me
Accept all of me maybe take the fall for me this wall is weak lets break it down with an ice pick
Lets reshape the crown for ur highness
Excape the crowd till u cant find us
We keep these scars too remind us dont fall 4 their blind trust
spine crushed without ur divine touch
Im done

But ready too start again in no time
A ghost writes my lyrics while u borrow ghost rights the game is so grimes you'll go blind


from staring up at the sun shine
One mic is all that is needed too become prime one time for my second hand addicts right winged savages on automatic why panic when u feal gigantic walking around on my ghost planet taking no damage
U wont manage acting so frantic
Invoked madness

In every pesant and vagrant
Becuz my essence is sacred
With every sentence connected
This headtrips defective im restless not connected infested the surface on purpose im wreckless confessions of an mcs lost sessions hoping that u.got questions im not stressing
These thoughts are weapons
Mic checking u too death your less im more when I press record check the cords before making a.mess on the floor opening the store knowing that youll receive more

I.dont wanna let u in
Your like toxic oxygen

Its ok. Its the end my friend
Lets runaway pretend
im here again
X3

By: Cedric McClester

He did what
A terrorist does
But we still don’t know
What his motive was
So we can’t say
That it was becuz
We don’t know
And there ain’t no buzz

Semper Fi
We just wanna know why
Four Marines
Were caused to die
In a hail of bullets
That he let fly
And left us praying
That the Sailor don’t die

Tough it hasn’t
Been officially stated
We can assume
That it was terror related
Cos who among us
Is prepared to debate it
The only thing we know
Is that we hate it

Terror on
America’s shore
And we’re afraid
That there’s gonna be more
Although ISIS is probably
At the core
We just speculating
Because we can’t be sure




















Copyright © 2015, Cedric McClester.  All rights reserved

U and that **** phone!! Lol!!
Look I'm not tryin to force nothin too soon but I feel a lil magnetism between us.
I know your life is crazy hell mine is just as upside down.
Kickin it with u makes me forget bout all my madness.
I want to take it nice and slow and let this grow to its fullest potential.
I don't want u to feel pressured or stressed to see me or talk to me.
You r a very cool nice smart woman and I really like that about u.
Yes I want to talk to u more now and I want to see more of u becuz I realized I found a rare jewel and only a fool would let u easily walk away.
This may not be the perfect time for us but when is it ever the perfect time for anything?
Right now all I want to be is your ear to vent in, your partner to drink with, your foot massage therapist, your game of thrones/walking dead recap homie, your chicken skin eater and your tour guide to escapin the madness and sadness that we call life.
So... Ummmmm... No I'm not accepting your offer!!! ****!! Can we please keep hangin out durin this crazy time in our lives?
I promise it will be a great experience for both of us.
I know u have a stoopid stacked plate.
Lemme be dessert

Is there love for the cold?
The winter months
Who likes the bite of the wind?
Lonely beds and quiet houses
The home of the ******* man.
Nice to none becuz none are nice
They just want something
Everybody wants you then they leave
Getting love from the ones you run
From no love from the ones you run
Towards my dreams are your night terrors
And my love is your hate.
Splitting the bill on blind dates
This is goin nowhere. Already known
Cards already shown. Cover already blown
The voice is calm but the actions are
Wrong as igloo on the equator.
No more drinks Mr. Waiter. I'm good
I'm bad. I'm happy to be mad.
I'm desperate to be sad. Life takes to
Long to move so fast.
Do soul mates crash? Am I drivin too safe?
My vulgarity equals no similarities?
Thought if I ain't look I would find u.
I ain't look and I did look. I stopped
Lookin then started again the mantra
Of the heartless men. I shall end how I began
Alone. By myself. Loved by no one else.
Maybe my mother. She could be lying.
No sense in cryin when u find out I'm dyin
Yo messed up timing. Gonna try to love me
As they piling dirt on my story.
Chapter over.
Book closed.
The single life of the committed *******.