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Nihl Jun 2013
CHAPTER II

At once I was spat out into a familiar space, although still swimming in darkness. As I slowly adjusted to the dark, I realized I was sitting in my room at home. I was surrounded by large, vacant, white walls and a sturdy black bedside table. Crested on top of the sturdy black table was the same familiar dodgy lamp that never seemed to work particularly well. My whole world was spinning as I sat up in my bed, scanning the room for outlines and shapes to ensure I was in fact back home. Back home and not caught in another hellish fantasy.
My bed linen had been kicked off my bed during what I imagined was another nightmarish spasm, leaving me drenched in cold sweat and shivering. I lifted my hand to my brow to quickly swipe away some of the salted perspiration that had gathered in the corner of my eye.
I spread my hands out beside me, feeling the bed beneath me to ground myself.
I wasn't in danger, I was safe, I had to keep telling myself that it was just a dream to try and stay sane.
-
I picked myself off the bed until I was standing upright in the center of the room, still surveying every nook and space, places where things could hide. Nothing, there was nothing in this room but me, standing in the room sweating and spinning around like a madman. I pulled on a shirt and went to the bathroom. White tiles, a shower, toilet and sink. Everything in there was normal and safe. I was relieved, switching on the light as I entered. I stood in front of the mirror gazing into my reflection, I was older and I wasn't surprised. The events of the nightmare had actually happened, not five minutes ago but six years ago. And ever since then, this nightmare had been somewhat of a regular occurrence. Recently however, it has been getting worse, more lucid, every time, closer.
-
My father did in fact vanish six years ago, police found me cowering in the cabin three days afterwards, bruised, cut up and mumbling, they only came looking because dad stopped turning up to work without warning. And after the events of that night I’d struggled somewhat to maintain a normal life, having my parents stripped from me at sixteen. Growing up in foster care was hard; my foster parents were kind enough. But the system moved me around a lot, making school very hard to commit to.
-
Looking in the mirror I saw myself staring back, eyes slightly reddened and itchy, and my skin dry and flaky. I turned a faucet and splashed my face with some cold water, ice cold from sitting in the taps in the dead of the night. The cool was extremely grounding, it felt sharp and real. The nightmare had faded to shadows of thought, I felt human again. Quickly drying my face with a clean hand towel and moving back to my room. The room didn't feel so sinister now, probably because I was getting so used to these nightmares. I climbed back into bed, glancing the time on my alarm clock before getting under the covers. 3:25 Am. I moaned at the image, 3:25 Am means four and half hours until I had to go to work. Another disrupted sleep meant another day at work where I was in a state zombification. I turned off the dodgy lamp, instantly flooding the room with darkness once more, Only, I don't remember turning the lamp on. ‘Don't be an idiot’, I thought, before rolling over and falling into a quick, shallow sleep.
-
The next morning I got up, showered, brushed my teeth as usual and caught the express bus to work. I stood in front of 'Bayside Books', my place of employment. I enjoyed it there; it wasn't too demanding and paid for my rent and whatever little I ate. It was a warm little shop that stood unique amongst its surroundings, tall concrete hives of advertising and production on every side. ‘Bayside Books’ was little mahogany box on the bottom floor of some non-descript scraper.
-
As I entered the bookstore the greeting bell chimed, filling the shop with simple song. Just as the bell stopped a rotund man with a sky blue button down shirt almost bursting at the seams, emerged from behind a bookshelf.
“Coulter!” he called cheerfully, “Coulter! You’re late buddy, miss the bus?”
He asked harmlessly, now standing before me with an armful of old books. Assorted popular horror books like ‘Dracula’, ‘Frankenstein’ among some more obscure works I’d never seen.
“I slept through my alarm, I’m sorry Mr. Dupas.” I replied.
-
Mr. Dupas was a large man, although not much taller than me, he was far wider.
Dark, greasy, curly hair seemingly glued onto the top of his round head. Protruding cheeks and a chin that was almost just a button perched in front of a larger chin. He maintained an interesting standard of hygiene, fresh pressed clothes on an almost un-showered man. Perhaps he was just an extremely perspiring person, but I didn't have the courage to ask any time soon.
-
I did sleep through my alarm that morning. I didn't exactly have a habit of getting into work late, but it seemed that with all the sleep I had been losing and the fact I hadn't been blessed with a full nights rest for two weeks now. It was really starting to catch up to me.
-
“Don’t worry about it, happens to the best of us” He smiled.
Mr. Dupas moved behind the shop counter just beside the doorway, piling the stack of books into a small, neat cardboard box on the counter. I could see clearly scrawled on its side in block letters, ‘TO CLIFFORD’. I removed my thick black coat and hung it behind the desk squeezing past Mr. Dupas as I did. Dupas grabbed his coffee mug and drew it to his lips as he moved towards the back of the shop, taking a large gulp of his almost noxiously caffeinated drink.
“Put away the new arrivals then clean the shelves and when you get a chance, go take that box to Clifford!” He called from behind several bookcases. “The invoice for the box is in the second drawer!” as he followed I could hear each stride in his voice.
-
I spent most of the morning stacking the newly arrived books onto the ‘New Release’ shelves. The same old crime stories, successful underdog sportspersons biography and feel goods. I finished putting them in their respective places before quickly dusting the shelves. At about noon I’d finished my jobs, grabbed the cardboard box from atop the counter and hurried out the door, letting Mr. Dupas know that I’d gone.
-
‘Clifford’s’ was only a short walk from ‘Bayside Books’ and it was a journey to and from the store I’d have to make at least twice in any normal week. Mr. Dupas and Mr. Clifford had a little partnership, Dupas would send the odd box of all the supernatural, paranormal, grim dark stories, biographies and spell books of such to Mr. Clifford, where Clifford would pay a paltry price for these books that had been left unsold and gathering dust at ‘Bayside Books’.
-
As I made my way down the street towards ‘Clifford’s, I spotted a few people watching a news report as it was broadcasted through the gaps between security bars, guarding the window of a small electronics store. The images displayed across the several monitors within were of soldier, armored vehicles and unruly citizens in some nondescript middle-eastern country. American flags burning in the middle of busy streets, and giant dolls with paper heads that from a distance, looked uncannily like our American president. The only difference being, that the life-size doll on the monitor seemed as if it was created by an angry eight-year-old student as some twisted school project.
-
I passed the electronic store a ways down the street until I arrived in front of the familiar poorly-lit arcade. Neatly nested at entrance to the arcade was the dark and foreboding storefront. A wood paneled exterior, crowned with five large dusty windows, inside each window stood displays of everything creepy you could imagine, voodoo dolls, satanic bibles, pendants, candles,  statues of vague deities, dried pelts and skulls, and indistinguishable skins and teeth. Not to mention the books, there were hundreds of books. Unlike at ‘Bayside, where our books were categorized and organized by alphabetically author. These books were stacked and scattered in no inherent order. Every now and then I'd spot a group of vampire stories in close proximity and then the order would be disturbed by the odd ‘Cooking: How to prepare human flesh. ‘ followed by the uncommon Serial killer biography. This store, this little jewel of the unnatural and the unfathomable, this was ‘Clifford’s’’
-
‘Clifford’s’ Collectibles; oddities and curiosities.’

N.H.
I sit on the old wooden panels
Making up the bayside dock
Not a sound to be heard
A single lantern providing
A small amount of light
In a sea of darkness
I stare into the water
Seeing nothing but black
It's as if
If I were to jump
I'd fall endlessly into an abyss
In the distance are the siloets of trees
Bordering the river
The horizon just barely looking over
Trying to get a peak
I touch the water
A ripple races through
Like broken glass
It's on the old wood panels
Of the bayside dock
I find happiness
Bryce Jun 2018
And when I met that girl in San Francisco
Off a dusty little pier
with rotting wood
and squawking seals
And screaming bayside wind

She caught me off-tropics
and danced with the grace
of a palm tree
lines between the quaked
concrete
off telegraph avenue
On an obscuring Sunday morning

and no
she didn't go
to church or any silly thing
like a temple or synagogue
She said those were no places
for god

God was the trees

We smoked cigarettes and got off to each other's
carcinogenic practices
oxidizing a little faster in conjunction with hopeful
Formaldehyde
Deriding the formalities
of small talk and trivialities

She liked her guitars with nickel-wound strings
I with nylon
But I couldn't play songs
that sounded any good with them
while she could
and did.

and girl did it ever sound good

She'd laugh at the contests on the radio
while we drove on a half-moon
to half-moon
full and whole of ourselves
We'd stopped in the lobby of a cheap motel
And waltzed to background
muzak
wacked out of our minds
Sniffing in deep huffs of subliminal
divinity
Understanding
loving
that mind-numbing
monotony

muzak...
ppsh.
Who ever really listened to that?

And then she left
at the end of one fine winter day
in a cloudless sky I waved
watched her plane
skip off
towards the edge of a pale blue horizon
back south
to warmer climes
to wherever she truly stayed
The tugging on my heartstrings
chimed grotesque in
precise
D minor.
I wrote a poem recently.
Not so much a poem,
more like a story;
a story of love,
kind of like a love story.
Sure,
it was the best love story
we've never read.

There were romances,
struggles,
some revelations
and resurrections...
even a few bruised egos.
Blah,
blah.

Yessir,
a bayside view of
false paradise
if I'd ever seen one;
some dogeared page
ripped out of a
journal written in ink
and found in the gutter.

No beginning or end.
Just a thought.
A memoir
of a fantasy that should've just
been
and never had to explain itself.
note: Do not read.
John F McCullagh Aug 2014
It goes back forty summers to a hot August night.
This cold case I’m working with no end in sight.
The girl, Leslie Zaret, was last seen alive
At the Pioneer tavern, she was standing outside.
Main Street runs North- South on Queensboro Hill.
She was ten blocks from home on that night she was killed.

She accepted a ride- was it someone she knew?

A Janitor found her- cold naked and dead
In a schoolyard in Bayside, the old reports said.
She was ***** with a hairbrush, no ***** was found.
The girl had been strangled, but hadn’t been bound..

If the killer was male- was he impotent too?

The victim was pretty, with long Brunette hair.
She never came home and her parents despaired.
My cops cleared the boyfriend, her ex- boyfriend too.
Still we always believed it was someone she knew.
She attended  John Bowne, a high school nearby.


Was the killer a classmate? She was too young to die.

Her class graduated, now grown old and gray.
Most stayed in town although some moved away.
Some have passed on and are taking their rest
But none died liked Leslie with her neck tightly pressed.
People will talk, surely some must suspect
I think someone knows something
about poor Leslie’s death.
Please come forth from the shadows, help me solve this crime.

Leslie’s waited for justice for a very long time.
A cold case ****** from August 1974. The P.O.V. is of a detective working the cold case file.
Shashank Virkud Mar 2012
It's a long walk,
the way that women are,
and I've already lost miles
to the races.
Try appealing to a youthful
star, have 'em throw money
to the wayside.

I was howlin'
like some horrid wind.
I was prowlin',
bayside,

sick of the **** I was sittin' in.

I was a wizard,

baby,

I was a blizzard
blowin'
through your front door.


I try, I try,
I try, I try,
now put me on trial,

baby,

you can't fake style!

It's not a mask,
and it's not just a past
but something more.
And I'll be able to tell
just what that is
as soon as I
figure all
The above my brow
considerations.
The ones that we
crawl towards,

the delicacies that
you spit at me,

you spit them from your
mouth; young,
European tongue,
look at what you've done!

Why?
Why so profound?
Why,
just act petty,
demographics
don't stop me.
Why?
Why so profound?
Why,
just be pretty instead,
demographics don't stop me.
Madeysin Aug 2015
Making out with you, four simple words. Can't describe the amount of emotions, the explosions of atmospheres. Inside me. As you leaned in to say goodbye. Upside down, outside my car window. "I feel like this will be the last time I'll see you" your smirk still evident on your face. I yelled shut up, as the campuses walls quaked. I drove off looking back once or twice. You ran up to your dorm. Taking three stairs at a time. Till you got to the top of the world, so you could wave goodbye. Weeks went by, I heard about how you dropped out of college. How you're moving back to New York. About how you jumped off that boat. Into the worlds giant throat. And I cried, cried for a long time. Because I was just a kid, and now you're just a mystery. I still think about your crooked smile, and smashed up Doc martins almost everyday, please bring back the feeling of kissing by the bay. I salute to you, I salute to you. You dead dead dead boy, my bestfriend.
We had some awesome adventures. I'm still sad.
undefined Jul 2023
A wounded heart makes
no pleasant sounds
Sober fools can write
sweeter words down

A thousand miles can seem dizzy
but 8 thousand, barely shifting
Salty sea waters of morning sway
longings of big ocean home waves

Loss is temporary
BEING lost is not
Drifting by choice
until options forgot
Born of Fire May 2014
I fell in love with a boy by the bayside whose mouth tasted like sour apples in a way i never thought so beautiful. And I'm sorry it was never you, you always tasted bitter and burned. But there's something you need to understand,that my existence has wracking side effects and scars on my skin are only a classroom of pain. Your tears always found a way in, and leaked onto my heart, playing a sad song about wishing wells and shooting stars and formed words on my tongue like four leaf clovers. And you still haven't apologized for emptying my lake of happiness and replacing it with rocks of sadness and filling my pockets with pebbles. A man once told me that anyone good for me would never hurt me. And i suddenly forgot that, when your eyes turned to icy corridors and your hands, tightened leather. I only wanted to melt away the emptiness in your irises and break away from the distraught grip. But didn't anyone ever tell you can't just set thing on fire because you like to watch ash float in the wind? You were always so wreckless. With my bleeding heart in your hands all you could mutter was, "I made a mess." All you could do was walk away with clenched fists leaving me on the ground trying to pick up shards of glass, ribbons of tears, and pieces of the moon; essentially you left me to salvage the pieces of myself. The truth is, you left me there in the dark. And i haven't emerged.
leave me here
Wednesday Feb 2014
I’m throwing up on myself in the bathtub
and chain-smoking these Newport box 100’s because I need this nicotine but I could stop if I wanted

I have more willpower than any one person should be allotted
but that’s just the way it is

and I smoke them three at a time in hopes sometime soon this can **** me

its strange to say that I don't know you
when I was under you just a week ago

and you have that tattoo on your neck of the Bayside emblem
and when I traced It with my tongue you moaned in my ear
and you smelled of sour diesel and Marlboro reds and Budweiser

and now im a little partial to that
because that smell is seared into my sinus

and in the morning I would struggle to find my clothes
wrapped in the sheets and try to sneak out of there
before you could grab my wrist with tattooed arms

and whisper “stay, please”

so this is me sneaking down your steps in my socks
and tiptoeing past your Christmas tree
and opening the iron gate in front of your walkway
and this is me driving away in the rain at 6 am

because I should not be sleeping with a 24 year old man when I am 17
This is December 2013
JR Falk Jun 2016
For the fourth time this week,
I drove down J imagining you were in the seat next to me,
Telling me how much of a nerd I was for mouthing the words to the song playing.
Bayside had always been our favorite band,
This ride did not change that.
I mouthed that you were my rock so long as I was yours and you just smiled.
I awake from my reverie.
Fourteen hours later and you’ve hardly spoken to me today.
It’s normal, though, as you’re a busy guy.
This is what I’ve been telling myself for three years.
I apologize to the voices in my head for your behaviour.
“We’ve talked about this,”
I say,
“We’re not going to try anything because of the distance.”
I sigh to myself and erase the message I’ve typed out for you.
It’s the fifth time I’ve done it this hour,
Seeing as you never responded to the last.
Last time you said you loved me was three days ago.
I told you I love you two hours ago and you called me a nerd.
“Nerd.”
I take a deep breath at the thought of the word.
I try to replace it with something different.
“Love.”
“Beautiful.”

Beautiful.
You’ve called me beautiful, right?
I scroll through our messages, looking for a time where you might have.
I only find you telling me my smile “kills” you.
Those words still make me melt, and I hate it.
I hate myself for loving you like this.
I hate myself for hating myself for loving you,
As I convince myself again,
For the hundredth time,
That you do.
I’ve been begging for a sign that you do.
One aside from your words.
“Actions speak louder than words,”
I remind myself,
And think back to an action.
What have you done?
I can’t help but wonder if the songs you wrote about me,
Loving me,
And us,
Were sent to another.
The lack of specification in said songs makes me swallow hard.
I think back to the night you told me you broke down with your friend.
You told him everything,
How you’ve loved me for years,
How you’ve never been able to do something about it.
How you tell me you date so many girls but always think of me.
How I believe you.
I’m scared, now.
Every day that we’re apart,
I can’t help but worry and doubt.
Am I just some... toy?
I can’t help wonder to myself if I am,
And I scroll through our messages.
I’m torturing myself, really.
As I scroll I reflect on the amount;
Thousands of messages collected over the past three years.
Three years--
Why would you spend that much time ‘toying’ with someone?
My heart swells,
As do tears.
I erase the message I’ve typed out to you.
That's the sixth time this hour.
The cycle will repeat until I fall asleep,
One last unsent message sitting in my palm.
I stare at the screen, waiting for my eyes to close.
They don't.
"active now"
it reads under your name.
I stare at your display picture.
For the fourth time this week, I pretend you’re staring back.
And for the... what was it?
I’ve lost count.
I pretend you’re listening and I turn off the screen.*
“Goodnight, I love you. Sweet dreams.”
1:46am
6/8/2016

sigh.
redemptioneer Jun 2016
let’s talk about momentum and lack thereof,
about how i never understood the concept of impact
until you kissed me

i am convinced that touching you
is the closest one could get
to touching god
and i’ve never prayed harder
than the night you told me
you loved me all that time

and i am asking you
to hold onto this
as tight as we held each other
back in august,
surrounded by bayside air and moonlight

feel all the way back
to the first month,
your head on my chest,
the ups and downs of my breathing
i remember you said
“your heartbeat sounds like music”

think fireworks,
think fourth of july -
we’re slow dancing in someone’s living room
there’s no music
but our hearts are beating
and that is enough

don’t let this go -
this momentum and impact,
this barefoot swaying in the summer breeze,
this grand orchestra.
this moment.
don’t let this go.
Ian Beckett Mar 2014
I have Uptown ******* my DVD,
And Friends on the floor,
I am moving to the music,
And rocking to the beat.

I have training centre every day,
And I am working very hard,
I know that I am growing up,
Everyone tells me so.

I am at Bayside Gym each week,
And have won a lot of medals,
I got them at gymnastics events,
In Dublin , Belfast and Milan.

I go to movies every Saturday,
And eat in Eddie Rocket’s,
I like my dad to come along,
And share my coke and popcorn.

I love my mum and dad a lot,
And brothers John & Steve,
I know they are so proud of me,
Everything I do and am.

I pour my milk into a glass,
And cook waffles for a snack,
I hope you like this little note,
And that’s all I have to say.
written about my son who has Down Syndrome
Sometimes Starr Aug 2016
when i bolted out the door
you bolted up yours
but i listened to Bayside and got lost in a lighthouse dream
under phases of the moon you'd been my milestone love
already
and now our past is a perfect story,
a pessimistic fairytale told by some people with dark eyes

and sentiment all too familiar.

the color of my love's fruit has changed.
and lots and lots of mayday parade
redemptioneer Mar 2016
dusk, mid-august
the bayside air hangs in the moonlight,
broken street lamps scattered around the neighborhood drive
only one is lit as we walk to the dock.

the light at the very edge of the beach looks inviting,
looks like it's saying "come home",
looks like it wants us to hold each other there

we walk carelessly up the winding sidewalk,
nearly tripping over rocks lodged in the cracks
we stop as we reach the glow of the lamp

i remember the way it felt to hold him as the sun went down
and came back up
suddenly my feet are resting against his
and
we are swaying.

he cannot dance. neither can i.
but we are doing our best and we are swaying
and there is no music
but i know we are perfectly in tune with something.
and we are laughing,
we are dancing.
Devon Brock Jul 2019
Back on the long stone jetty
a time when the smacks came in
splitting the tide with a daily haul -
marlin flags, yellow-fin flags,
shark flags and all on the riggers.

In come the seiners, longliners,
and skipjacks. The crabbers,
the Merry May, Mama's Revenge,
Rock Bottom Sally, all going
bayside with their wares and
worn bows.

Each in it's cutting and bobbing
joy, blows a horn for the jumping
jut-finger kids  - the day done
on the shore when the waves came a' roiling.

The jiggers in for the market docks
and a couple a bucks for the gap-toothed
waterman gathering legs on the rocks.

Two for a steak a' tuna
Five for a pound a' nurse
Blue Marlin not for sale, my boy,
it's for the record books.
Alexander Feb 2021
"Today's a hot one that's for sure!"
Sunny out here in the miami sun,
I've been working in my grandmother's yard since 9a.m.
I sat down for a moment to have a cigarette when I get a call,
"Are you go to head to the protests?"

"If there's one happening I'm there."

"Theres 5,  I found happening now."

"Send me the locations I'm heading out now to get my gear!"

Moments later im speeding down a freeway wondering where I left my bullet proof vest and plates, im going about, 96,
Windows down, and the wind was hot.
Not many cars on i75, I hit the exit and I dont think I slowed down at all, it was a blind race to the finish a blurry fast flurry,for the flag and camouflage.

Thinking back on it now I could tell you I new it was going to be bad, not for me, for the police.

All the small chatter I had heard led me to believe there was going to be a big march in miami and ft Lauderdale,  so I was in a hurry,
The cops in those areas had hardly any experience in protesters so I new there was something bad coming on.

My last protest there were thousands of us as we led the million mask marrch for anonymous, before that was bulldozers used with swat and feds during occupy miami.

So I was ready for anything
But this seemed different.

The caller was nervous when giving me that information asif they were calling me as the backup.
And so when I got home i went right to my wall and grabbed my guy fawks mask from my other protests, it was cracked, painted with a tribal design that was stained with my blood from my last protest, I brought my smoke bombs my knife and a vest under camo with a flag, from  anonymous walk on wall street, and lastly a medic kit.

I got in my car and drove to ft Lauderdale, it wasnt until I hit the downtown area that I could smell that burnt sulphur sent and then I could taste it,                          


Cs-gass.

As I rounded the corner I was met with rubber bullets and as I heard the pings across my car I turned around,
Getting a call "they got cleared out from the area and were heading to miami", so I drove straight there.

The drive between was blurry,
Mut when I got to the tower across from bayside I could already see people running,
I drove blocks away and headed into a deeper area, park my car there incase of a situation occurring for a fast exit.

As I made my way back I could already see smoke, i come to a bride with a group of protesters as more gass is dispersed,  I run from it with them towards a larger group as the smoke grows seeing who I was looking for,
I kept running and I came to a underpass where there was a police car in flames,
I kept moving to meet my associate.

We spoke briefly but I found out the team we were with was fallen hurt and arrested some before today but we only met during these occasions.

We used our medkits and got to quick work of those we came across,

It wasnt long before we realized we weren't supplied enough to keep going and so we moved around trying to keep the peace and prevent more chaos before we finally departed.

I remember that night well because day 2 would've much worse or much better only the morning would tell, but after what we saw we decided to pretend we weren't even there. < we were identified anyway later that week by others from day 1>
Madeysin Nov 2016
I fear men in suits, with fresh apples for heads. Black and white profiles, bayside views. Falling in love when life is just one big satire. God's ink pen is running out, just like you...
Make me fall for you, than leave. Never found a writer quite like you. Never plan to. What a hell to go through.
Mister J Aug 2017
Amidst the night I walk into the streets,
The chilling wind howls from the bayside;
Pedestrians crowded with people going home,
Moonlit waters illuminated what the dark hide

I sat alone on the dockyard pier,
my mind wandering into the vast abyss;
as the waves come crashing to the beach,
so does my questions and their answers kiss

A wicked smile runs across my face,
as if something fun will nearly occur;
Then my thoughts drift onto the ocean,
vanishing with the waves as if they were lured

My life had been full of tears and cries,
Smiles were seldom, Laughs were really rare;
but they always say that Life is a big wheel,
Once you're down, then you're up, and God cares

As the cold wind continued to plague me,
A warm hand touches the back of my head;
I turned around only to see the woman I love,
The one companion He gave me, she I had wed

With a kiss she greeted my wrinkled cheeks,
her hair, grayed with age, danced with the wind;
even as her years passed by, she still looked fair,
the most valuable treasure in the world I could find

Our love never changed as our years went by,
the passion in our eyes glowed brighter than ever;
I was born to grow old with this woman beside me,
to be with her, and hold her in my arms, forever

We walked home together in that cold winter night,
holding each other's hands like our teenage years;
before we opened the doors I looked at her sincerely,
I thanked her for the love, and crushing all my fears

True love will endure all the years to come,
the fiery passion unchanged even for a thousand lifetimes;
because when God gave man the right to love a woman,
it transcends the boundaries of the very fabric of time
2nd old poem for today, probably the last. Thanks
Tyler Aug 2023
Death is a peace,
love, its treatise.
followed by after-all
each soul to their-there;
to better-off.

falsities end by the wayside
bathing off by bayside
and the truth illuminates on
no ruminating song
letting go of anything
but the light.
Lucanna Jul 2022
My bed is only messed up by me,
Diagonally.
Sleep is an ambush
Soldiers gunning at my eyelids
They quiver while natural light
stuffs iris barrels with daisy
If only I could create my own field of weeds

Will man remain my enemy?

I dare a mustache to balk
at my bush
For there are no eyes
No kiss
No tooth
In my world
Declaring how a woman should be in her *****
I grip the shadows of every fold
Every eery layered mattress
held in nuptial tandem
Right side of the bed or left?

Stinging and menacing, they remind me
That I am stone
Only the most desolate sleep on me
No crack in the river? No mother?
I remain gray and bayside
Crack me open to find lavender clouds
drifting above sweaty skyline
An agate,
A gem of a woman
Treated like a skipping stone
That is me
I will become the ocean before that is my identity
O
I like the waves.
The way their static fizz tickles
the bristles of my ears,
as if they were long brown thistles in beach dunes,
engirding pools of sand between
the wet crevices of my toes.

I’ll lie in the bayside sheets of gold,
where the clouds drift silent,
encompassed by its warm fold,
soaking my horse-haired brush
into sand-speckled jar,
painting my watercolour flowers;
butter daffodils and heavens daisies.

I’ll lie on sun-dried towels
beneath chequered brolly
and scribble my brain
into summer-kissed parchment,
with leaded letters and granite words.

I’ll write in the colour of my soul,
using what’s left of my heart,
as I’m flayed down to the white-skinned bones
that hold me upright:
left thin and pale.
But, for these tapestries,
I find it worth my loves
discounted sale.
Passionate writing takes its toll.

— The End —