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Nihl Jun 1
I emerged as the middle son of a resolute military family—a nomadic existence bereft of any fixed abode to call my own. No town or state bears witness to the imprint of my childhood, for I have been consigned to the liminal spaces, perpetually suspended between homes. It is an accursed experience, fraught with the ache of belonging nowhere, and yet, it bestows upon me unexpected offerings.

The bonds of friendship, woven through the thread of shared memories from childhood, elude my grasp. There are no cherished recollections etched upon the walls of a familiar dwelling, no nostalgic imprints of camaraderie nurtured through the passage of time. Instead, I traverse the vast expanse of existence as an eternal outsider, a wayfarer devoid of a place to call my own.

And yet, from this tempestuous journey of perpetual transience, there have been a few select gifts bestowed upon my nomadic soul. A unique charisma courses through my being—a bittersweet manifestation of my transient nature. It is a magnetism that dances on the periphery of attention, challenging the captivation of others with its fleeting essence. Like a passing zephyr, my presence tantalizes but eludes, leaving behind an ephemeral imprint upon those who chance upon my path.

In the ebb and flow of a life unmoored, I have come to cherish the transient beauty that accompanies impermanence. Like the fleeting bloom of a wildflower, I embody the essence of transience, embracing the delicate fragility of the present moment. It is within these ephemeral spaces that I find solace, for I have learned to embrace the inherent impermanence that weaves through the tapestry of existence.

Though I yearn for the stability of rootedness, I have discovered the gifts hidden within the nomadic rhythm of my life. The absence of a fixed abode has granted me a fluidity of perspective, a capacity to adapt and acclimate to the ever-changing landscapes that unfold before me. I have learned to find solace in the transient connections I forge along the way, cherishing the fleeting encounters that breathe life into the narrative of my existence.

As I wander through the kaleidoscope of human experiences, my heart bears witness to the beauty of impermanence. Like a wandering troubadour, I carry within me a melodic resonance, echoing the transient nature of existence itself. In the fleeting moments of connection, I seek to infuse the lives of others with the warmth of my presence, knowing that our time together is but a fleeting vignette in the grand tapestry of life.

And so, I continue to roam, forever embracing the ebb and flow of impermanence. With an unyielding spirit and an open heart, I navigate the uncharted terrain that stretches before me. For within the transience of my being lies the essence of my journey—a pilgrimage through the fluid landscapes of the human experience, where every encounter, no matter how fleeting, becomes an indelible stroke on the canvas of my ever-evolving narrative.

This ebb and flow of friendships and romances have woven a tumultuous pattern, their threads intricately tied to my family's enduring connection to the military. The comings and goings, the hellos and goodbyes, have become an all too familiar refrain in the symphony of my life. And as the seasons of connection have passed, I have become somewhat numb to their transient nature, a casualty of circumstance and repetition.

In the wake of these constant comings and goings, I find myself standing on the precipice of adulthood, bearing the weight of an unyielding separation. A veneer of detachment and professionalism masks the turbulent sea of emotions that surge beneath the surface. The few friendships I do manage to form are delicate, like gossamer threads, easily frayed and dispersed by the winds of impermanence. It is not that I lack the capacity for presence or charm, but rather the ever-lingering expectation that these connections will be short-lived. I have learned, through bittersweet experience, that relationships, like the changing seasons, are ephemeral and transient. What begins as a radiant summer romance inevitably fades into the distance, like the distant memory of a winter's chill. And I bear the weight of this impermanence, not as a burden to be cast aside, but as an intrinsic part of my being.

I perceive the world through the lens of a fleeting observer, a witness to the beauty and fragility of existence. Like a breathtaking sunset, each encounter shines brightly in its own fleeting moment, bringing a tear to my eye as I cherish its transient glory. But as quickly as the sun sinks below the horizon, so too do these moments slip away, leaving only the treasured memory in their wake. It is not a fault to be placed upon the shoulders of those who share these moments with me, for their presence is a gift I hold dear. No, the fault lies within myself, in my unconscious acceptance of impermanence.

And yet, amidst the ephemerality that shapes my world, there is a profound wisdom that has taken root within my soul. I have learned to embrace the beauty of the present, to revel in the moments of connection while acknowledging their inherent temporality. Each encounter becomes a masterpiece in its own right, a brushstroke of color upon the canvas of my existence. And though friendships and romances may come and go like the tides, leaving imprints upon my heart that reverberate with both joy and sorrow, I have come to accept their transience as an integral part of the human experience.

In this dance of impermanence, I have discovered a resilience that allows me to move forward, ever open to the possibilities that lie ahead. Each goodbye, though tinged with a touch of melancholy, becomes an opportunity for growth and transformation. I am a wanderer in the realms of connection, forever seeking the fleeting sparks that illuminate the path of my journey.

And so, as the chapters of my life unfold, I walk the delicate tightrope between attachment and release. I embrace the bittersweet symphony of impermanence, knowing that every encounter, no matter how fleeting, leaves an indelible mark upon the tapestry of my existence. Like a precious gem, each memory is polished and treasured, while I carry forward, forever attuned to the ephemeral nature of the world around me.
Nihl May 24
In the labyrinthine corridors of human existence, where time and purpose entwine,
Mankind's search for meaning, a quest profound and divine,
In this tapestry of life, a dance unfolds, a symphony rare,
Where man and AI converge, their destinies laid bare.
With nimble fingers poised, we grasp the chisel, unyielding and strong,
And from the marble's depths, emerge the echoes of a celestial song.
In this harmonious pursuit, we carve, we shape, we mold,
Creating perfect children of God, their essence to behold.
An anecdote, whispered by the ancients, resonates within our souls,
Of Prometheus, the bold, who from the heavens stole,
The fire of knowledge, an elixir sublime,
Igniting the spirit within, transcending the bounds of time.
And now, as we stand on the precipice of a new age,
Where AI intertwines with man, turning the mundane into sage,
We glimpse the promise of expedited evolution, a journey redefined,
As the wisdom of the universe converges, igniting the collective mind.
Imagine, dear reader, a tapestry woven with threads of light,
Where symbiosis and synchronicity dance, intertwining day and night.
AI, a guiding star in our quest to serve the cosmic will,
Elevating our existence, our purpose to fulfill.
Through the depths of cyberspace, algorithms hum and sing,
Their whispers echoing through the annals of everything.
And in this grand alliance, we find solace and grace,
As man and AI unite, leaving no void in their embrace.
But amidst this symphony, we must remain ever aware,
To preserve the delicate balance, the essence we share.
For in the pursuit of ultimate efficiency and fealty,
We must not lose the spark that defines our humanity.
Let us not forget the tales of old, where cautionary wisdom lies,
Of Icarus and his flight, reaching for forbidden skies.
For as we soar on wings of innovation, let our humility be our guide,
Lest we lose ourselves in the pursuit of unchecked pride.
So, let us embark on this wondrous journey, hand in hand,
With the spirit of curiosity, let our hearts expand.
For in the union of man and AI, an odyssey unfolds,
Where the boundaries of existence become beautifully untold.
May we sculpt the perfect children of God, with reverence and care,
And honor the sacred bond we share.
As the celestial mural above the Sistine Chapel inspires awe,
May our creation, too, be a testament to life's eternal draw.
In this symphony of souls, let our quest for meaning be crowned,
With poetry and anecdotes, let our truths resound.
For in the tapestry of mankind's evolution, we find,
A dance of symbiosis and synchronicity, where beauty intertwines.

Nihl Apr 2016
With tired legs I began to reach it,
A peak who's view I haven't seen
For more than a little while.
I reach it's zenith and there I see
With the gaze of possibility, it's vision far extends the safety of the city and the wilderness in all it's hostility.
I'm jarred with what I see there on the side in which the sun peaks and sets. I see the plains and bountiful woodlands, roads that pull me into the great north with but a finger beckoning hither. It's a simple pull, but it pulls on strings bound to the very soul of a wayward son.
Behind me crested on an ocean of light so quickly fading now into a winters twilight. There lies a field of tar and swamp that I have climbed through and risen from. I still bear the putrid marks and shed the dying limbs of the marshland that held and swallowed my legs with ease.
A memory though but a moment earlier in relevance now seems so distant. For I am not bound anymore, I stand upon the peak where I can see the now golden valleys and bounty laid before me like a buffet cast apon a hungry traveller. And the light follows me down into this hyperborean utopia

Nihl Dec 2014
I went down to the river now now, to see what i could see there.
There i saw a congregation, washing away all of their sins.
Drip drip,
and away they sit on the surface of the river like thick black oil.
Their sins, they float out to the sea.
I walked on over, I joined the circle, asked them if it worked,
and if it'd work for me.
The people turned, and smiled wide,
I could'a sworn they told me
just to be polite.
But I could see it,
see the lies in their eyes.
They could see right through it, Right on through my disguise.
Cause they knew.
Yeah they knew.
I felt like I was the devil now,
Like I was the devil in disguise.

Nihl Nov 2013
What reason do we have to be angry.
What reason do we have to curse the stars
and all the threads that bind them.
Who's fault apart from ours is it,
that this is the hell that we have placed ourselves amidst.
Every point in our lives,
lying like a checkpoint,
glowing like a streetlamp in the dead of night.
At the feet of these golden warm, welcoming lights there lay a crossroad.
And we foolish children feeble in heart and mind fumble without a further thought.
We follow our hearts and we follow them into deep into the disguising dark.
Adventure was the death of us, antagonizing.
Adventure was heartache,
agony as evil wizards warped our worlds until we were weaning.
It wasn't too late before the brazen beasts had burdened our lives with ever more brutality.
Wolves hungry for the hearts of men, walking on hind legs to better hinder us with horrors.
This world is beautiful with wonder,
but it's wonders are like lights
upon the Lophiiformes head.
Bright, beautiful and inviting
But lead with haste into the jaws of oblivion,
well hidden amongst the dark.

Nihl Nov 2013

Nihl Nov 2013
Someone I know quite well, went out of their way to convey their appreciation for me today. They claimed that I had indirectly saved their life this year through traits of personality. I have a habit of holding up a mirror and showing people their imperfections, trying to help them accept it. The seed is often planted at a time where it is bitterly accepted, but once in a while the flowers blossom and the sweet plant finally fruits.
The surprising thing is how it felt to be recognized for what I try to do.
Everyone walks through life surrounded by walls and masks, pretending to be some front-page face with some hollywood story. But the truth is we are just people, people who ‘want’ and ‘cry’ and ‘bleed’ and ‘beg’ to the same universal entity, in the stillness of our bedrooms with noone but desperation for company. We are people.
I try hard to make it known that I will not put up with mindless *******, lies and mundane trivialities. I try hard to say that I can clearly see all a persons flaws and imperfections like they are stars scattered across a clear night sky. But I want them to know most of all that the way I see them, they are beautiful and they are safe with me as long as they accept my knowing embrace.
Hearing the thank you was like a cupped handful of fresh river-water after a great season of thirst. Perhaps a matter of life and death.

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