"Go and talk to your son!". It seemed lately that every arrival at home, in the old section of Glasgow, began with "Go and talk to your son!". "Why?...what has he done this time"...answered Angus' dad. "What trouble did he get into now?". "None...so far as I can figure" answered Mary, mother of the aforementioned Angus.

"Then why am I going to talk to him?". " He's not selling autographs again is he".
"No dear, he's not...you should just go and have a wee chat with him...that's all."

"Alright, I will"...."will I need some hobnobs as ammunition, or should I be okay on me own?".
"You should be okay without them, but, then again, a wee plate of hobnobs never hurt anyone...least of all our Angus"

Dad, poured two glasses of cold milk, set six hobnobs on a plate and ventured up to himself's room. He knocked twice, just above the "No gurls alowd" sign that Angus had put up after last nights arguement with his Mum, over carrots. Angus refused to accept the arguement that carrots gave you better eyesight...while his Mum said they did. A snicker from Dad at Angus' response almost got him banished to the sofa for the night himself, with his own "No gurls alowd" sign going up in the living room. He remembered Angus standing up from his chair, and stating "If carrots give ye such good eyesight, how come so many rabbits get hit by cars at night?". Then he stormed off.

He knocked again, and Angus opened up the door. Angus was still in his blue school shirt and grey pants. "Can I come in?" asked his father. "I've brought milk...and hobnobs".
Angus stepped back and let his father enter the room. The walls were covered with posters, of cars, footballers, horses, bikes, cartoon characters....so much so, there was barely any space left for anything else.

"Yer mum said I should talk to you...son...do you know why?" "Nope"...said Angus..."do you?" "That's why I'm asking you lad....she told me to come see you...do you know why I'm here?"
Angus tilted his head and answered "because Mum told you too?".
It was clear they weren't getting anywhere with this, so Dad asked "How was school today?"

Angus was now in full time kindergarten at St. Martin's in The Fields Primary School in Glasgow. The school was old, dank, smelled of age and was one of the finest in all of Glasgow...for it's age. It was famous for having had two members of The Bay City Rollers as students, one for about three months and the other a little less. They never graduated from St. Martin's, but, it was something to hang their hat on.

"I got all my Christmas Cards taken away today Da." said Angus. "I was giving them out to everyone, and the teacher, Mr. McDonall came and took them away.".
"Why would he do that boy?"...."Where were you doing it?'
"I was outside before school started giving them out...." , Angus sniffed, "and he came over and grabbed them from me".
Dad, remembered Angus working away for the past two nights, printing everyone's name on the cards, as perfect as he could. It only took 43 cards to get the necessary 21 Angus needed for all of his young classmates.
"Why would he do that?"..."did he tell you why?". "No Dad" said Angus through the rapidly increasing flow of sniffles and snot that normally accompany a crying child.

"I didn't find out until I went to the office to see the Principal afterwards".
"You went to the office for handing out Christmas Cards?" . "That doesn't make any sense son, are you sure you weren't doing anything else?"
"I was just handing out cards Da, that's all", said Angus as he grabbed another hobnob, which he quickly stuffed under his pillow for later. He would get in trouble for that one, but, it would be worth it.

"The Principal said something about Christmas Cards that say Christmas on them, can't be given out at school anymore. They can only say Happy Holidays. If it doesn't say Christmas on it, how can it be a Christmas Card Dad?".

"I don't know boy"...."but I am **** sure gonna find out"....and "you'd better eat that hobnob under your pillow before Mum sees it"...smiled Dad.

The pair ventured downstairs for dinner, neither discussing what went on in the room where "No gurls were allowed". Dinner passed in silence, with Mum looking from one to the other to get some sort of reaction. Once, Angus started to talk, but it had nothing to do with what went on between Father and Son, so she continued eating. She would find out later after Angus went to bed.

After dinner, Angus went to the park with his friends for an hour to play football, and tag, and swing on the swings for a while. Mum, took this chance to corner Dad...and corner him she did...."What went on up there? What did you two talk about?" "He won't say anything to me...what did he do?"
"Nothing....he did nothing wrong at all, so as I see it....Angus didn't do anything wrong".
He kind of smiled at that, because normally after being told "Go talk to your son...", Angus had always done something wrong...this time...it was The Principal.

"Tomorrow, I'm staying home in the morning and taking himself to school....I'm going to see The Principal". "What for?...if he didn't do anything wrong, why are you going to see the Principal?".
"Well, what time of the year is it?".....asked Dad. "It's Christmas silly, you know that...why?"
"Well, apparently it isn't Christmas at St. Martin's in The Fields...at least not as far as himself's teacher and new Principal are concerned. It's now Holiday time....not Christmas Time, Holiday Time. Our wee Angus got in trouble for handing out Christmas cards at Christmas. Does that make any sense?"...said Dad.

The next morning at breakfast, Angus looked up and asked "Dad, shouldn't you be going to work? you'll miss your train.". "I'm taking you to school and going to see your Principal, son". "Why?" asked Angus. "Let's just say I'm going to give him a Christmas Card....have you seen my bible?".
"It's on the sideboard...but, why do you need that Da?"...asked the boy.
"Let's just say...to make a point.".

Mum smiled as the two men, both wee and tall, walked together hand in hand down the drive towards the school. Upon arrival, Angus went off with his friends, while Dad, went into the old, intimidating looking institution. He could smell the old wood soap and mustiness as he waled down the hall, past the class pictures and the old trophies that get hauled out and cleaned every year for games day, only to be put back again after the awards presentations.

Upon arriving at the office, he announced "I'm here to see The Principal.....where is he?".
A pair of beady, spectacled eyes looked up from behind the front desk...and in a thin, reedy, voice asked..."And who might you be, sir...to come in without an appointment?".
"Ah'm flippin' Father Christmas, that's who I am....I am Angus' Mc Dougalls dad, and I am here to see the ****** Principal. Now where is he?"
"Without and appointment.." she started, quickly stopping when Dad, walked past the desk to the door marked M. Dingwall, Principal on it.

"You can't go in there"...screeched the reedy voice..."not without an.." "I know..." said Dad..."not without an appointment.....well, I've got mine right here, and right now..." he said, waving his bible in needle noses face. He continued in to M. Dingwall, Principal's office....and sat down.

M. Dingwall, Principal...looked up from the papers on his desk, which incidentally had 5, yes...5 Christmas Cards on it, and asked Dad..."and who are you to come into my office..."...."without and appointment"...finished Dad. " As I told your chihuahua out front, all bark and no bite by the way, I am frigging Father Christmas, who I see on 3 of the 5 cards you have on your desk. That's who I am, Father Christmas !!!"

"Well, Mr. Christmas, what can we do for you? " asked a clearly shaken M. Dingwall, Principal. "I'll tell you what you can do for me....you can apologize to my son, for a start. My wee lad Angus, came here yesterday morning and was sent to see you for handing out Christmas Cards, at Christmas. What am I missing here?".

"I remember that....yes, he was disciplined and told no more Christmas Cards, it's against the policy of the school board...it's a religious holiday, and we are not allowed, with all of the various religious groups represented within our walls to favour one over another. So, no more Christmas Cards in this school. That is the policy.", said M. Dingwall, Principal.

"That's nice...then what are those 5 cards on your desk....the ones that happen to have Christmas on them and Father Christmas and a nativity scene, which if I know the book I am holding here, is a religious representation, and the reason we have Christmas in the first place. "...asked Dad.

"Those are private, they were given to me by staff" said M. Dingwall, Principal. "I don't care if they came from Jesus Christ himself " yelled Dad, crossing himself in the process, "They don't fit in with the policy you gave my son a reprimand for yesterday."  He looked about the office, and saw a small, four foot tall tree in the corner as well. "Is that a Christmas tree or a holiday tree sir?, which is it?"

M. Dingwall looked up and said, "It's a Christmas Tree, of course, haven't you ever seen a..." and he stopped. He looked at the tree, and the cards, The eyeglasses out front went back to whatever it was she was doing before Father Christmas arrived. "I see....". "You see what sir,?" asked Angus' dad, looking at the tree, and the cards and ignoring the eyeglasses with the reedy voice out front.

"I see your point....It's Christmas, not holdaymas, or xmas....it's Christmas, and I followed policy that I myself am not following myself. I will change that right now....imagine, it took a visit from Father Christmas to get me to see the light..." laughed M. Dingwall, Principal.

"My boy Angus, will be in class, expecting to be told that he can give out his cards to the rest of his friends as he was yesterday...am I understood M. Dingwall, Princinpal?" asked Dad.

"Yes sir, the mark will be stricken from the record and his cards will be returned....I appreciate you coming in to clear up this little misunderstanding...even if you didn't ..." "I know...have an appointment.". M Dingwall stood to shake Dad's hand as he left, and as Dad reached the door, he said "Merry Christmas". Dad thought a bit, smiled at what he had just accomplished and said to M. Dingwall, Principal...."and yes...It is A MERRY CHRISTMAS".

Worlds physical? Or worlds mental?
It makes all the difference.
Without the sciences it wouldn't matter either way
The last time I was taken from earth without moving?
Excepting when reading, with math.
Tesselations and fractals and numbers
Numbers have a flow all their own
Without numbers, meter and rhyme couldn't be
Even now, without numbers this discussion could not be held
Even now this typing is numbers
It may not look it, but its all ones and zeroes
The angle and curvature of every letter defines language
I say nay my friend, nay
I never spoke the words declaring math and science the crown of humanity
And the words stating english its clothes
They are important, both in their own way,
But think of this: you cannot do math
Nor calculate the distance from venus to the
Andromodean galaxy without math
But think also of this: communication may exist without english
Numerical codes and codexes and letters written entirely in numbers or symbols
Do exist
I dare not refute the value of english, but do you argue the language or the study?
The study can be done away with and easily
Put to rest, as it had to be created
The language too was created and came from
Some mother language
But we always had math.
Does not even an ape know that an even split
To a banana is half?
Apes have no words as we think of them
But still, they do not have english
They don't have a grammar and spelling system nor manner of speaking,
They communicate perfectly well, even without words
But how are they to place value on objects without math?
Even some crude understanding of value
Is math
A banana must be worth less than two, no?
English resides on emotion and feeling, whereas math and numbers rest upon fact
How does one win an arguement without numbers?
Even now you use them.

The joy of Christmas morning
Among the gifts beneath the tree
Was one for all to cherish
there was so much there to see

Books and clothes and other things
gifts were piled to our knees
but the longest item under there
Was Uncle Mike's new ski's

Now Mike, was something special
and I think I have a hunch
That you might have read about him
And his famous Christmas Punch

Well, two days later here he was
Standing, looking at his ski's
He asked his wife, my Aunty Pat
"what the hell do I do with these"

"You need to get more exercise"
"Cross country skiing is quite hot"
He said "look at this round body"
"Athletic...it is not"

After a little conversation
Well, an arguement Mike lost
He agreed to go and try them
No matter what the cost

His brother Gerald joined us,
With my brother and our sled
We ventured out to T.V Golf Course
To exercise, like Aunt Pat said

Now, the golf course is an old one
Trees and water all around
But that was in the summer
Now, just snow was on the ground

For those out there among you
Unaware of what's involved
To learn cross country skiing
Is not so quickly solved

The first and most important
point when learning how to ski
Is, stay on ground that's level
And don't collide with trees

We stood atop the highest hill
With a gentle grade straight out
It was the most level spot out there
Of this there was no doubt

My brother went down on the sled
On a hill just to the right
He was flying like a rocket ship
And was quickly out of sight

Mike, all dressed and shackled in
Was trying hard just not to fall
He was 5 foot three in ski boots
And lying down, was just as tall

We said to try just walking
The hill would do the rest
Behind him we were laughing
Poor Mike, he tried his best

He swore a lot, and we all laughed
It was not something he liked
For, Mike, need to prepare for things
To find something, and get psyched

The view from atop the highest hill
Was something to be seen
From here, you'd see the river
And, to the left the seventh green

After two hours out we decided that
We should be off and then
Mike said "I'll give it one more run"
"I'll try it once again"

Gerald, Ian and myself
had packed up, were set to go
When Mike came sliding past us
Moving quickly on the snow

In front of him, a little bump
Turned him slightly to the right
Toward the hill of sledders
This gave Uncle Mike a fright

"fall down" we yelled, as he went by
He just waved and made the turn
He hit the hill at his top speed
He hit two bushes and a fern

The hill, all 14 stories
Was more ice than it was snow
And there was Mike, at full speed
Dodging sledders on the go

We heard him scream as he went down
But what we heard, was only half
Because the sight of him free wheeling
Was making us all laugh

He shot on up the other side
Stopped and then came back
But because the hill was made of ice
He hadn't left a track

Once he stopped we ran on to him
We stood there, a laughing group of men
And Mike, all five foot three of him
said "I'll not do that again"

The skis, were gouged and splintered
The wax was off, as was the tar
He grabbed one under both his arms
And we trudged off to the car

Aunt Pat was there to greet us
When Mike, pulled out the skis
He showed her, gouged and scratched and ruined
And said "I'll not be needing these"

That Christmas is my favourite
We still smile at Christmas lunch
Of Uncle Mike's speed skiing
And of course his Christmas punch.

We had a family meeting
And decided that our tree
Would no longer be a fake one
It would be as real, as real could be

I said that it's no problem
In fact I think it's fine
I truly miss the Christmas scent
Of wet and musty pine

I reminded them that last year
A new, lit up tree we'd bought
They passed off my weak arguement
With barely time or thought

So, with three weeks until Christmas
The search would now begin
For a tree, just full of needles
Not too bushy or too thin

I started with the want ads
Saw the lots with trees for sale
But, most were all on order
I begged, to no avail

My wife said, let's go cut one
In a woodlot, cut one down
I said we're in the heart of a big city
We have to go two hours out of town

I told them, I'm not going
Then my daughter, shed one tear
I don't know how she does it
But, she's got me wrapped....I fear

So we loaded up the family
Drove until we found the place
With so many others out there
There was no parking space

We parked out on the roadway
Half a mile from the gate
When we go there to start cutting
We were told....two hour wait

We'd brought an axe and hand saw
For when we found our perfect tree
Then, we were told...no...only chainsaws
Did I have one...nope...not me

I had to take a short refresher
On how to use their little saw
And of course, this being Christmas
It cost me fifty more

Finally, we started out
There were trees, of every kind
then the fellow said, that this years
Were in the back....way down the line

He said that this year, beavers
Had flooded out the lower plains
And the trees down here were stunted
And would have to start out once again

The ones that we could cut down
Were back a mile up the hill
I wasn't sure then if it was him
Or my family I should ****

I protested, but my daughter
You know. with the one tear leaking eye
Looked at me and smiled
And I said, that I would try

We hiked up to the woodlot,
There were trees of pine and fir
And a spotty faced young helper
Who asked "What kind do you want, sir?"

Long needled, or a short one
Douglas fir, or knotty pine
The choice, well it was endless
And the choice, well ...it was mine

The next thing that he asked me
How big should the tree be?
I looked a little flustered
And then he said to me

Once you cut it down ...you own it
Measure it, and cut it down
Make sure you get the right one
It's a long way back to town

My wife said, 8 or 9 feet
The kids, no help at all
They were both playing on their cellphones
And making plans for later at the mall

We chose to get a pine one
Eight feet high and just as wide
I didn't know exactly
How I'd get it home and back inside

Two minutes, and I'd cut it
We had a tree, and just my luck
They'd started out without me
I had to drag it to the truck

The boy said, they'd wrap and measure
Down front where I came in
I looked down down at my killing
Not too fat, and not too thin

Two hours later I arrived
All wet and soaked and peeved
But deep down, I'd made them happy
And this made me relieved

Once he wrapped it tightly
I was shocked at the tree's price
He said, two hundred forty
In fact he said it twice

30 bucks a foot for pine
That would be dead in two weeks
I was so mad when I paid him
That I could barely speak

I walked back to the truck alone
I left the family with the tree
I thought two times of driving off
Ok...in truth....It was three

They tied it down upon the roof
Said the rope, was free this year
I almost blew my top right then
I saw my daughter....and her tear

We drove it home in silence
Stopped once on the way
I had to spend twenty more dollars
For a tree stand, at the Bay

I dragged it in the living room
Cut it open, let it spread
It, didn't really fluff out much
I think our tree was dead

It took almost an hour
It lay there, dropping needles on the floor
I thought , yep, this is Christmas
Who could ask for any more?

The kids were gone already
When I put it in the stand
I had wired it, into the wall
This was not the way I planned

A simple family Christmas
With a tree is a pain
I've got a fake one in a box
I'll not do this again

There's bare spots at the bottom
It's unbalanced near the top
There's sap all through the hallway
I've got more, just tell me stop

The tree is now all covered
With decorations and with lights
I water it twice daily
So, it doesn't burn up in the night

Next Christmas when they tell me
We want another tree
I'll tell them, go ahead and get one
But, do it with out me!!!!

Say yes                                                                                                           Say no
To sunshine in the morning                                                                            To darkness when you're alone
Say yes                                                                                                           Say no
To any piece of advice                                                                                   To the people who aren't true
Say yes                                                                                                           Say no
To night lights on the city                                                                               To lights in broad daylight
Say yes                                                                                                           Say no
To snowfights on a winter day                                                                       To fights with the real Ones
Say yes                                                                                                           Say no
To everyone who might thank you                                                                 To the ones who aren't thankful
Say yes                                                                                                           Say no
To the strangers in need of directions                                                             To the strangers taking you away
Say yes                                                                                                           Say no
To any sign of love                                                                                         To any sign of pain
Say yes                                                                                                           Say no
To a stranger smiling at you                                                                           To a stranger grinning at you
Say yes                                                                                                           Say no
To the members of your family                                                                      To familial arguement
Say yes                                                                                                           Say no
To the signs from the Universe                                                                      To the signs sent from underneath
Say yes                                                                                                           Say no
To the differences in the world                                                                       To hunger and poverty
Say yes                                                                                                           Say no
To any change that occurs                                                                              To people leaving you
Say yes                                                                                                           Say no
To creative people                                                                                          To destroying humanity
Say yes                                                                                                           Say no
To a candle in the dark                                                                                   To loneliness
Say yes                                &nbsp

There must have been a communication breakdown.
Because I don't know what you are talking about.
Where is all this aggression coming from?
I have no idea why you think I would or could do that.
But you're still yelling... I think maybe we should talk about this later.
I know you don't want to wait, but we're not solving anything like this.
Please stop yelling.
Seriously I need you to stop.  Stop yelling.
I DIDN'T. I WOULDN'T.
Why can't you believe me?
Oh that's fair, dredge that up.
Not like you will ever let that go... it's not even related.
You're really starting to make me upset.
Please just stop yelling, we can talk if you just stop screaming.
I'm just not going to respond until you calm down.
Peh.
Mmmmmhmmmm.
Wow, really?
...
...
...
...
FINE THEN I'LL JUST ******* LEAVE.
No it's too late.
I'm done,  just ******* DONE.
Now you want to talk?
Now.... after what you just said?
I should calm down?
Oh really?
Yeah you're already raising your voice again.
I'm leaving.
No. I'm leaving.
No don't bother, I'm not going to answer it anyways.
BECAUSE YOU JUST ACCUSED ME OF ******* YOUR BEST FRIEND.

Poets love metaphor and simile.
We love the extra dimension they bring to a conversation.

Hard brexit or soft brexit.
War of words.
Snail's pace.
Quiet as a mouse.
Embracing change.

But be warned, next time you use a metaphor ask yourself: Is the tail waging the dog? (See what I did there?)

For example:
When you join an argument - do you join a side?
Do you build your argument to withstand the opposition's attacks?
Do you fight to win the arguement, to defeat the opponent's arguement?

Or do you establish common ground? Will you join a journey to reach an agreement together?

Will you end up enemies with a peace treaty that is dependent on peace keepers?
Or will you be fellow travellers, journey companions with a shared objective?
Will you ultimately come to a shared view at the summit that you have reached together?

Metaphors are powerful.

Is your day made up of stolen time?
Do you lose time?
Do you race against time?
Do you try to gain time?
Is time something you seek to possess more of - a finite resource that's to be preserved, stretched and saved as much as possible?

Or is time a stream, a river traveled that brings us to new experience?
Is it a force of nature to be respected and enjoyed?
Are you comfortable simply going with the river's flow? Can you enjoy the ride?
Can you accept the limits of what you control (a small rudder) and what you don't (the long established river and it's ultimate destination)?

Chose your metaphor with care, it may come back to bite you. There I did it again.

There are days where you and I
Can't quite seem eye to eye

There are days where I would wish
That there was something better than this

Now you see, I hope
Awhile, I have been afloat
Do You see what this does to me?
Nights pass by where I wait for simple things,
Though the words never come out right

You say the only thing you have left us to die,
I have seen proof Otherwise....

There are days where you and I
Can't quite seem eye to eye

Take a moment and wonder why
You have often seen tears in my eyes.

"She's a ****"
How many times have I heard that
And how many times have I argued her case
So. You want to be able to sleep around
Free, no attachment, let's keep it fun
It's a one time thing
And surely next weekend there will be another girl by your side
And I bet you'll call her a cab in the morning
But she is the ****?
Why don't you turn out your pockets
Show us the picture of your pretty girlfriend
And then see what how many condoms exactly
You thought you'd need tonight
And she's the *****?

"She's too much of a dude"
I so want to hear this
You say she won't just nodd and smile
Like proper girls should
And she won't accept your arguement
Au contraire, she'd love to talk more about it
And surely, if you can't win an arguement with a woman
She should just be robbed off of her femininity all together
Well if only "dudes" can have meaningfull conversations
Then you must all be *******.

Listen for the silence
That's when you know you have been heard
Listen for the silence
Then you dare not speak a word
Listen for the silence
As they think of a reply
Listen for the silence
But, don't confuse it with a sigh
Listen for the silence
You got your point across
Listen for the silence
You know you have them at a loss
Listen for the silence
It's when they're backed up to the wall
Listen for the silence
You know they are about to fall
Listen for the silence
You know the arguement is won
Listen for the silence
Say no more, the fight is done

I have a undieing love for you that is a fact proven
And the strands of love we braided together these years are now groven
I would do anything for you my love runs that deep
But time of a love shared has began to get weak
But in my heart it will always be strong
But a relationship between us again now that would be wrong
Even though sometimes we talk on the phone I get lost in our past memories
Then the pains and sorrows of what we had harshly awakens me
But still I would do anything for you
But your let's try again plea just won't do
Yes baby I love you  from the top of my head to the sole of my feet
And if you want me to keep loving you then you would just let me be
No I cannot pick up where we left off and start off new
Still some words you have said to me makes my face blue
Those arguement and fights.... you not coming home some nights
I cannot do it again baby not in this life
I love you enough to leave you its time to be with someone else
And so what if I fantasize about you at times I do it when I'm by myself
I love you enough to give it all up rather than hold it in
I loved you as my girl and I plan to love you more as a friend
Now don't try to put it all on me like I'm the one to blame
Yes I share part in this dilema but you never knew how to be tammed
Don't try to feed me the I changed lies and this time it will be right
Because even though it might be hard for you to believe I sleep great at night
But don't forget I love you
Love you enought to leave you as you have left me times before
For ya friends ya ******* and when you just wanted to be a *****
I have to much pride to have to set aside what my soul knows is correct
I love you baby I love you to death
But I'm not gonna die from stressful things you do
This is why I need you to respect the fact that I love you enought to leave you

In a foreign land,
over two thousand years ago,
there lived a man,
whom the world would come to know.

Raised out of Nazareth,
his humble place of birth,
tasked with spreading words of love,
and of peace throughout the Earth.

Many were his deeds,
and so timeless and true his word,
that he changed the shape of the world,
for those who saw and heard.

He challenged the authority,
of those who then held sway,
by telling common people that through his Father,
there lay a better way.

Challenged by his word,
and fearing influence on the wane,
by deceit and lie,
they sought to take control back again.

Despite his deeds and truth,
evident in what he taught,
by deception, lies and betrayal,
he was rounded up and caught.

In a trial that found no arguement,
to undermine what he had said,
he was sentenced to crucifixion,
nailed on a cross until he was dead.

I am sure you know the rest,
of how on the third day he did rise,
and you have seen our world still battling,
against the hate and all the lies.

On this very weekend, remember,
this man from long ago I beg,
for there is much more to this remembrance,
than the chocolate in your egg.

Today, i saw a ****** make-up free woman,
but that wasn't what caught my attention;
Her swollen cheeks,
dis-coloured eye skin
and dis-torted voice got me thinking
Oh Yes !
It all started with a Hot arguement
possibly with her husband because her left ******* had a medal on it, a golden medal it would seem.
Certain slaps and blow were transmitted via fist, belt or leg.
Lots of screaming and cursing,
the kids hid under their beds panting.
Men that beat up women are heroes, right?
You beat the children and then the women.
Forgive my Remark.
That is just me being angry about it
But, really it makes no sense.

i'm feeling a just little to
the left of sane today,
don't quite know what it is.
but it feels a little like
that itchy spot in the middle of your back.
you know the one ya just can't reach to scratch.

the day started good..
now a smidge of paranoid and pinch of misunderstood is make making me feel
less than i should
if i had to colour me right now,
it would be a deep grey, indigo blue.
perhaps....
i am just getting a dose of manflu(strange as i am a woman-girl).
but no it's more than that.

i feel rundown, runover, squashed flat.
bummed out busted and outright flustered
yeah adding a dash of that. now i am on a roll down a hill going fast.

nothing of import has happened to make me feel this way.
no arguement, cross words, crisis or dilemma has crossed my path today.

i am out of step,
stomping on toes,
counting to ten,
to save someones nose,
from my tense and tightly clenched fist.

the way that i'm feeling
one of two things could happen.
every body else could...
shuffle to the left a little
to align with me (yeah like thats gonna happen).

....or if thats just a hassle your going to need to:
step aside as my progress,
is now furious
and my wake is wide.

make your choice
my toes are a tappin
i no longer
have time for this lip flappin....

....boom thar she blows!!!!

Woman sets the table
For two.
It was a bout of wishful thinking.
She knew he wouldn't be home in time for dinner.
Her husband.

She sets down two plates
two sets of silverware
two glasses
A bottle of wine.

His shift ended at 5pm
He would take the scenic route home
and he would be home by 5:30pm
But not lately.

Lately it's been 9pm
Lately it's been short 'hello's
Lately it's been a peck here and there
Lately it's been lack of eye contact
Lately it's been
'I have some unfinished paperwork at the office'

Unfinished paperwork.

They used to be a trophy couple;
The pair that stayed true when tried.
He used to take her to the golf park
Just to admire the way the green
complemented her hazel eyes.
He used to wake her up at the crack of dawn
to watch her watch the Sun rise.
He used to tell her jokes
and laughter had her holding her sides.
And maybe he even loved her
at the time.

Now they were strangers.
They didn't see eye to eye.
Not even and arguement
Just an uneasy settlement.
Nothing ever fit right.

She just wanted to talk to him
To find out what she had done wrong
To have pushed him away so distantly
Or if he had felt this way all along

They had came to a crossroad
And each took separate paths
There was nothing he or she could do
To make this marriage last.

With everything how it is, as it is
Now it is how you wanted it to be
I'm at a loss as to what my choices are
A creation of unnessasary confusion
Over an unimportant arguement

With nowhere to go, neither forward
Nor backwards is the right way to go
A broken relation, deflated elation
My shattered hope, crushed beneath
Your petty ego, with your spiteful persona

Keep it up you deceptive wicked witch
You won't get very far, with sizable anger
I'll scream in your face, till blue rains down
Everything is ruined, you still wear your rusted crown
It will fall and so will you, neither king nor queen

By your side, hateful glares force me away
Outside the wind blows cold, colder than
Your frozen, frosted heart, icy mists drift
A sharp nail, with a tear and rip, red flows
Freely I breathe, but only now does it count

Our now fragmented family, lies in ruins
A small hammer is all that it'll take
To fix this broken phase, an opposite
Not doing its job, breaking down the walls
Rubble underfoot, crushed harshly like

Icy dry wastes, with cracked bergs
And freezing lies, cold winds blow
No protection from your frozen fury
Nothing to do now but cease and desist
Honest to god, nothing is worth it anymore

Are the words people say after our actions really the worst thing and our biggest punishment? Is the pain people can give really bigger than the pain we later give to ourselves? Is anything we ever do right enough not to be judged and misunderstood? Everyone has a inner voice. Some confident strong voice that appears when you don't feel like you have any more atoms of strength inside you to speak for you and tolerate your actions? The voice gets quieter with time. When someone says "You're stupid" the first time,you just accept it as a joke. The second time you start an arguement. No one knows how much times later you just start agreeing. Silently saying no but even you don't believe it anymore. Lies. So many lies you start buying them and not recognizing what the actual truth is. No one knows how much days,years or months it takes to tear yourself apart. But when it does happen,people regret every word they thought you would not take seriously. But you tried. And when you let the demons out.. That inner voice is now your worst weapon.

The Last Prayer

As I curl up in the shadows
with just for company the Moon
I hear the clink of empty bottles
and know with dread you're coming soon
I clasp my hands both tight together
and I say a silent prayer
To a God who's meant to love me
To a God who's never there
I hear you start the usual arguement
and hear the usual tempers flair
Hear the downstairs door crash open
and then your footsteps on the stairs
He's out again this God of love
this God I learnt about in school
Then I hear you pull the handle
and know the writing's on the wall
Again I clasp my hands together
and say again my silent prayer
To this God who should protect me
To this God who's never there
Then the door is flung wide open
and I see you come inside
and know that God's not gonna help me
no no, those ****** teachers lied
They said that

God would save

and I believed
when curled up in my bed
I thought
when you walked through that door
That

God

would come and
strike you dead
that this

God

who loves all children
would come
on hearing
all my pleas
would burn
your soul
for all
eternity
and make this constant
bruising
cease

So I clasped my hands
together
and I said my silent
prayers
To this God who never
hears me
To this God who's
never there
And now your fists start
raining down

and I have
nowhere
left to hide

my last thought
in this

bleak

conciousness...



Those ****** teachers lied...


©HaroldRizla

all I hear is
"Praise God for this!"
and
"Praise God for that!"
but to me
there is no arguement back
to why so much of the world
suffers
why heroes die young
and bad guys live forever
I known the name
******
better than any hero's name
ever
I hear "******"
more than "love"
and people expet me to
kneel to some man above?
Believe in white doves
that get shot down a second later?
You must be joking
If I ever see world peace
I'll be praying
to humans
for changing
not some omnipotent being
who is
faking

his eyes were smaller than i recall
though still the colour of the first autum leaf's fall
being neither really brown, green or grey
perhaps if you could colour the word distant or frey
it was noted how he remembered more good than bad, than i
every conflicted night, smallest arguement and really hard fight,
etched into my mind's eye
its harder to hate than to love, and im tired of the fruitless fight
cant love any longer from here, and ive really no right
my essence is empty, my heart still bleeding on his icy floor
in a maze, in a haze, in a daze frantically i search for an exit door

Here i stand in admiration of your chances
The possibility of me choosing to be you
To the luck of driving your success.
You stand unfit and roar from an enemies den
Whom will you blame when the thunder of failure traps you,
Your rescue will be a brigade of canes,
Boiling you upon successful failing;
Finding ability with maximum concentration to loose.
Milk shall be bitter and so will wine
Your face shall be a remote of arguement
A case of recall a chain of regret, a jail to paranoid-
Catch the line before it ends
Sip of that at hand than cry for rapture unseen^
Despite wishes, 'who can borrow from tomorrow'.

Do you think being poisoned
helps or hinders the arguement
I'm off to buy some Coffee
Think well before I Come back

Days passed doing nothing
Just with the suffocation of tears
Nights passed doing nothing
Just with the flow of salty water
Loneliness was grown
Along the saddened thoughts ,
Fearful drops of vicious water
Came closer and closer
Yeah ! They played the game
The game of life and death
I won , I got the life
But totally gone in vain
Soul was burning and burning
With the most violent flame of pain
Again the death whishperd
The silent song
" Glommy Sunday "
It was attacked in the sentiment
Then asked to me
If I would be a suicide murderer
Yep ! I agreed
I became a ****** murderer
I murdered my past
I murdered the loneliness
I murdered the broken history
Just loved being a murderer
I painted the life walls
All with the blood of useless fellows
Wow! I took the taste
From then I moved on
In the eternal love life
Where I could divine the landscape
Search for the heart
Dive in the world of imagination
Shape a living arguement
Now , life gets  coloured
that once used to be
Black and white