The more I got to know you
The more I loved you
I fell in love
With your truest you
The you that hides during adversity
While the stronger you takes the wheel
Not the you that's tough as stone
The you that really feels
I found this you after digging and searching
So I felt as if i had earned it
But I was deemed wrong in my beliefs
As not even I was worthy
They've both had you in ways
That I could only ever dream of having you
They've felt your hands on every inch of their bodies
And have felt the bliss of your lips
They've exchanged all levels of pleasure with you
They've gotten your attention
They've been your favorites
And encompassed your dreams, asleep and awake
As i have to hack and squeeze my way
Just to approach the horizon of your vision
Jealousy isn't the word to describe
The desperate hunger I can't squelch
And the heaviness of my limbs
Being filled with the feeling of insufficiency
As I face the fact that I'll never be what you want
Not nearly enough
You confuse me
You send my assurance astray
Have me decided by the night
But I forget in the day
There are times
When I feel only for you
But more often than not
I feel you have some growing up to do
Really you drive me crazy
Hauling me around through hallways
Or chasing me through my dreams
Sometimes I'd be content with you
You'd ****** me with those eyes
And touch me with those hands
And you're actually quite sweet
If everything goes as planned
But other times I can't stand you
You take things too far
With your feminine rage
And stop playing around
******, just act your age!
And I give you the benefit of the doubt
As you toss me back and forth
So it'd be nothing but tragic
If you left me carrying the torch
In my dreams I am strong
I can do anything
I can overcome the greatest trials
In my dreams I am a winner
I am champion of every occasion
I am never second best
In my dreams I am loved
I have ones who care for me
I have ones who never betray me
In my dreams things are right
There's no reason for me to want to go
There's no hatred or deceit around me
In my dreams I am happy
I can enjoy the warm breeze
I can go a day without tears
In my dreams.
Peaceful when the sky is clear
Letting go of neighboring fear
All that made me worry and shatter
Blows away with the wind and clatter
Midnight is never a problem for me
When I'm alone, I'm by the sea
I'm in my dreams
Or so it seems
I'd rather follow the autumn leaves
I'd rather be gone; anywhere but here
Be in the forest alongside the deer.
she took an apprehensive step forward in the thick darkness.
hands shaking, heartbeat erratic, she steadily slid a foot forward. past the black haze she saw an image. she was appalled at the person she saw before her. it was truly of the most hideous things she had ever seen. she actually began to feel pity, despite the overwhelming disgust, towards the pathetic creature.
its face was contorted with an emotion she dubbed familiar. she shook her head in sorrow and halted in panic as it mimicked the action simultaneously.
she doubled over in what could only be described as a mixture of anguish and defeat. the emotion ran so deep as to strike tears into her eyes immediately as the familiarity turned into understanding. the creature was herself. her entire being shook violently with the emotion that came with her having given up. she was faced with the depth of this ringing truth about her reality and in that moment she had never felt so empty.
not good enough
she closed her eyes to the words and covered her ears to the noise.
there was no relief.
it sounded in a place deep in her mind.
she couldn't escape.
she would never escape.