It's 2am but i'm still awake
Staring at the picture of you with a sad face
Still wanting to believe that you've stayed
Even if I know that you're far away

My eyes starts to water
As my heart breaks into pieces
All the happy memories starts to shatter
Because all I feel right now is sadness

I don't want to forget you
But If I don't, I'll be forever in vain
That's why i'm starting a new
And ill try to move forward, again.

Am I still a Writer?
If I have already
lost
my motivation to write.

Am I still a Believer?
If all I once
believed
are now the reason
why I refuse to hope.

Am I still the girl with big nerdy glasses?
If all I can
ever see
is failures and hurt and sadness.

Am I still me?
If I already lost myself.

She's better now
than before.

Maybe
because she realized
that it's time to get up
and move on,
to forgive
and forget,
to be happy
and contented.

I'm in the middle
of crying
and trying.
Trying to be the girl
who makes herself happy without you,
the girl who can survive the whole day
without seeing you
and
the girl who can live her life to the fullest
without you.

But maybe it's true
that I should not just try,
instead I should do

I should do it
for myself
for my life
not for you
or anyone
but for me

Because after all
it's always gonna be my choice,
my life, and
my heart.

She thought of him,
of how she was
enchanted to meet him.
She speak of him,
of how he managed
to make her day.
She likes him,
even though she knows
that he is still in love
with someone else.

Now she's confused
if she still wants to go on
or
let go.
Not for the sake of her
but
for him.

She wants
to
give him time
to move on.
For him
to think
of what he really feels about her.

She want to hold on
but
She also want to let him go.
Maybe for awhile
or
*for a little longer

There she goes again
with
her faded happiness.
Thinking about something;
a feeling,
that she herself
can't figure out.
Is it really that hard?
to be happy again,
to be relaxed and
to feel free?

There she goes again
with
nothing but herself
and
her faded happiness.

And then you clasped
your hands,
your eyes staring
at me intently
with hurt, anger and sadness.
Is it that painful?
The way he torn your heart
into pieces,
the way he made you feel loved
and left you feeling dead.

The way you write those
words about him with
your cold fingers
and swollen eyes.

Is it that painful?
When he left you with
no explanations
or maybe
just a slight proof that
he loved you.

Is it really that painful?
That even being in love with
someone else
is not in your mind anymore
Is it really because of him?
That you already forgot
how to love and be loved,
that even trusting people
is so hard for you now?

or

It's all because you chose
to be like that?
You chose to be broken and
feel alone,
you chose to think that
you can't live without him.

It's always your choice
if you want to be miserable.
Your choice.

"I'll be okay."
for an hour,
a minute,
a second,
or
not at all.

"I'll miss you."
for an hour,
a minute,
a second
or
always.

and I always
prefer the last one.

It is
painful
It is.

It's true
that it takes time
to heal,
to forgive,
to forget.
You're going to get
through it
sooner or later
you're gonna realize
it's not worth it.

And when that time comes,
I'll still be here.

She didn't want
to let go
because
She wanted
to stay.
He wanted to let go
because
He didn't like her that way.

It was his choice
but
she never agreed.
But
If he stayed,
she'll get hurt
everyday.

Maybe it's true
that you have
to let go
of the things that once hurt you
so that
you can see
the things
that will endlessly make you happy.

In time,
you'll be okay.
You'll realize that
no matter
what happens
it will all fall into place.

Always
remember to
not be afraid of change
because
change
is the
only
permanent thing
in the world.

*You'll be okay. In time.

Maybe people tend to be hurt
to know that it's not all about
p a i n
but
*realizing that there are more great things they deserve

It was like,
waiting for a bus
to pass by you,
holding an ice
until it melts
on your hand.

It was like,
saving a random stranger
and not asking
for anything in return.

It was like,
getting a tattoo
to satisfy your wants
even if you know
it will hurt so much.

That's Love.

It was beautiful
the way you hold my hand
and
say that everything's gonna be alright.
The way your devilishly handsome smile
makes my whole body shiver
and my cheeks blush.

It was memorable,
those unplanned visits
that made me feel
like i'm one of the people you
can't stand a day without seeing.
Those times when we're happy,
even in silence,
as long as we have each other
we're contented.

It's all too good to be true.
The moment when you said
those three words,
"I like you".
The feeling of being
cared by the person
you want to be with.
That was all to good to be true.

But

It was painful.
The day you said
we can't be together anymore.
It was like an avalanche
has come my way and
I can't do anything about it.

My lips started to
run out of words to say,
my eyes were like a river
that keeps on shedding tears.
My mind started to
reminisce the moments when
there were no fights nor hurt
just happiness and love.

And lastly,
my heart stopped,
like I don't have anything to
live for anymore.

That was when I was blinded by the fact
that I can't let go of you,
of the memories, and
the feelings.

But it's all over.

"I miss you tonight, nothing's gonna be alright when you're not here with me."

and now, this is the
definition of
what I feel.

But I can't do anything about it.

I'm
Dawn,
You're
Dusk.

You love
spicy foods,
I don't.
I eat vegetables,
You don't.

You're my
total opposite.

I never thought
I'll like a man like you.
A man
who only exist in movies,
stories and dreams.

I met you
in a very unexpected time,
in a very unusual way.
You're not my type
to begin with
but
there's something
in you
that made me want
to know you more.

But despite all that,
you're still the man
I wish to spend a year or
a decade with.
The man I can call,
My Love,
My Strength,
My All.

I want
to know you more.
Even the darkest side of you,
the sweet
or
Even the broken side of you.

Because I'd still
accept you just the way you are.