"You aren't going to change your life forever because of me."
He said
But it is he who changed my life forever
I thought
"Because of me"
He said
Because at once you loved me, you mean
I thought
Key word being "loved"
because you don't anymore
"You aren't"
He said
As if you have control over me anymore
I thought
But he knows that still remains true
"Change *your life"
He said
Darling my sad excuse of a life was changed long ago
When I first met you
And got lost in your destructive eyes
That ripped apart my heart, tore it
"Forever"
He said
As if he truly does believe he will have an impact
F o r e v e r
I thought
Though he may be right, he cannot
Speak to me of forever
For it is not something he knows the meaning of...*

This is not a poem of shame,
nor a poem of depression
Just simply a poem I wrote
For him to learn a lesson.

H
   E

        S
           A
               I
                 D
                       *but I thought

You’re gone now,
And there’s nothing I can do,
I want more than anything,
To run away with you

Just like a fairytale,
We’ll escape this town,
Where you’ll be my prince,
And I’ll wear a crown  

We’ll wake up every morning
By each other’s side
Ready to begin our life
To take on the ride

You’ll dance with me
Just like you used to
Only this time
pain will be through

We’re here together now,
I won’t have to be hurt again,
This my little fairytale,
At least I can pretend.

Today was the day I came alive,
I don't feel broken anymore.
A charming boy smiled at me,
he even held open the door.

Step into my world & see what I see
Suit up in my armor & role play me
Once there, you’ll be shocked & alarmed
When you see him, allured & charmed
You’ll see my love through stormy eyes
Hold your ground, you may be surprised
For in my world, it is only him that is there
But, you’ll discover his love he does not share
He is the storm in my eyes, furious & surging
But, the fire in my heart continues my yearning
You’ll feel the way it jumps out of my chest
In my passionate world, not such a thing as rest
For I will not rest until his love does return
I’ve acquired to him watching me as I burn
From the fire within him I become impaired
He is a bit frightening, but don’t be scared
Just suit up in my armor, don’t make a sound
Take a walk in my world on my alluvial ground
It may be left destroyed from his endless rain
So try being me, I bet you can’t handle the pain
Though you'll have my armor big & strong
Darling even with that, you won't last **long.

Not quite sure yet
What I want to be
But so much pressure
Just to get my degree

I’m young and free
Even crazy and wild
Don’t you even dare
To treat me like a child

Though I can’t help but think
Where will I be in 10 years?
Will I finally have courage,
to face my worst fears?

Will I still have my boyfriend,
who I’ve been with?
Do high school sweethearts
exist, or is that just a myth?

Should I go get drunk,
this weekend with my friends?
I got invited to another party
The fun never ends

Wait I’m kind of insecure
About my body and weight
Why am I still awake?
It’s getting pretty late

Yet I still haven’t started
Any of my homework
Who cares anyway though
I mean my teacher’s a ****

I’m under so much pressure
Because I’ve got to graduate
But you try being a teenager
In a world filled with hate

Overthinking killed the teenager
And that teenager is I
Overthinking every thought
And I don’t know *why

Light inside dark
Good surrounded by bad
The still happiness
Engulfed by a storm of sad

Dark inside light
Bad surrounded by good
The raging fire, put out
By the sea of the understood

Life inside death
Movement in all that is still
A tiny bit of heat
In the numb frozen chill

Death inside life
Like dark inside light
The moon in the sun
And the day in the night.

You are the rainbow
That comes after the rain
Shining so colorful
You take away my pain

You are also the rain
Cascading from the sky
And the umbrella held
Over to keep me dry

You are the clouds
Floating high above
By which the rain
Showers me with love

You are also the sun
Blinding me with light
Ever so radiant
A breathtaking sight

You are the moon
Shimmering your glow
And the gleaming stars
All aligned in a row

You are the world
Surrounding me tightly
You try to destroy me
But I reply politely

You are my heaven
Bringing me to peace
You are the love
That I cannot release.

there was once a girl so bright
the sparkle in her eyes never dull
she had everything she could have dreamed of
her life wasn't perfect
but with him as perfect as it gets
he gave her hope
that one day she would have her fairytale
herself the princess and him the prince
but not after long
the prince turned into a toad
he built the princess a castle of hope
only to knock it all down
he told her about this thing called love
the princess unsure if it were real
he taught her how to feel it
but didn't stay to make it last
the silly toad didn't know what he lost
but the princess lost something that day
the sparkle in her eye burned out
and she was sure they'd never shine again
for he was the reason they lit up

My dear I fell in love with you
blindly
You always treated me oh so
kindly
I would lay my hand gently on your
chest
Burry my head in your shoulder to
rest
Cup your cheeks and kiss your
face
You always had such everlasting
grace
But since those days the times have
changed
And for drugs my love had been
exchanged
You started to chase the ultimate
high
I was left alone in the blink of an
eye
You began to lose everything you
had
You were an addict, I went absolutely
mad
Nothing more important than your
dope
But all of this time I held on with
hope
That you could some day stop the
addiction
You were nothing more to me than an
infliction
Of pain, I was broken it was me you
destroyed
All you were was a crazy drug addict
unemployed
But I didn’t mind I was blindly in
love
I’ll admit it’s something I’m not quite
*proud of.

If I never talk to you again
It’ll be too soon
I think of you every night
There is a full moon

I don’t think I could handle
Hearing your sweet voice
It’s been so long I forget
That you left me by choice

I dream about us being reunited
Under the stars each night
But I’m not sure there’s a chance
We could ever burn as bright

Because our love is behind us
It’s all in the past
Under the full moon
I wish to see you at last.

He looked at me
From across the way
I smiled because
I couldn’t help it
I was in love with him and
Nothing he said was a lie
I used to think
That love didn’t exist
But then I found out
Love is a beautiful thing
If you truly find it
He told me
He loved me and
For all these years
I was with him.

For you I was a chapter
A part of your life so brief,
You had no idea you stole
My heart so quickly like a thief

For me you were the book
I kept turning page by page
Never even imagining
By the end you’d disengage

Each sentence I read was delicate
Like a sweet melody of words
You and I were free to fly
As free as two blue birds

I thought the book would
Never end, and go on forever
But you shut the book tightly
And now my heart is severed.

You left me all alone
With just the pages to mend
Together my broken heart
Why oh why did it have to end?

It’s like a broken glass you see
You smashed it on the floor
Shattered in a million pieces
A broken glass nothing more

You can try to fix it
With strong tape or even glue
But the cracks you’ll always see
No matter what you do

It won’t hold any water
Nothing inside it to fulfill
Because you have broken the glass
And that took a certain skill

Because it wasn’t an accident
You meant to break it
Just like you broke me
And the pieces will never fit

The glass is broken forever
Walking away just won’t do
Because even if you leave
The damage was done by you.

I am the broken glass
You shattered on the floor
Shattered in a million pieces
A broken glass nothing more.

I don’t know what I am
He says I’m just a teenage girl
I may appear that way
In my party dress and pearls

My flowers in my hair
But inside my mind is racing
Filled with horrid thoughts
And hopeless dreams I’m chasing
And all this time I wasting
Dealing with the heartbreak I’m facing
Remembering my mind is tracing
Such pain I am incasing
Because his lips I still am tasting

See I am not just a teenage girl
In my party dress and pearls
I am much more
I’m a wreck
I’m a sucker
I’m broken
I’m hopeless
In this dark lonely world
I am much more than just
A teenage girl.

On the winding path
I continued to follow
An owl sat perched
Old tree remain hollow

It’s eyes were wide
Piercing through me
Claws dug in
To the barren tree

Hoot hoot hoot
A steady beat
Inviting me
To take a seat

Under the owl
I took my place
Reached for a stick
To trace

My name in the mud
Rummaged through my bag
Began to take
Yet another drag

Turning to ashes
I was in the night
Under the owl
It felt just right.

I lay in bed listening to the rain
Falling against my windowpane
Soothing but still I cannot sleep
All I can do is think and weep

I wonder when did I get like this
Constantly thinking of those I miss
Worrying about how I’ll end up
Draining the coffee from my cup

It’s 2 AM now I think think think
Further into myself I sink
My bed is cold filled with tears
Feel like I’ve been awake for years

Insomnia has gotten the best if me
My eyes are open I can barley see
The world is fuzzy through my eyes
Each night another piece of me dies.