I the lie that keeps on giving
twice denied life and the living
we sacrifice our palms and bury our feet
with smiles disarm with smiles we eat
a feast a deluge all is devoured
our sensibilities overpowered
why rest upon a tattered bed
when you can sleep with sin instead
and waste away your weary hours
building castles, steeples, towers
all will crumble in the end
and so to you my dearest friend
let’s raise a toast to that which haunts
the holy ghost and spirit it taunts
that knows not good or evil
a land of lost forgotten people
but may we tread a righteous path
for who knows which will have the final laugh.

What if life is just a video game?
- or a feature film told frame by frame
What is our single aim?
- to seek respect, fortune and fame.
How many golden coins make a life?
How many respect points for a house, kids and wife?
What if we choose to wander off the path?
- to play it just for kicks and a laugh.
Is the character i inhabit just a mask?
- to hide from realities grasp.

How long must i continue to play life's game?
- constantly running from danger rather than facing the pain.
Sometimes I drift through levels with ease
or sit here wondering will it ever cease
if only real life was simple as entering cheat codes
or switching over to an easier mode
so I can have invulnerability and never get hurt
instead of sitting here on constant alert
sometimes i wonder why I've opted to play
when i can just eject myself from life's disc tray.

For Mario his main aim is to rescue Peach
likewise my true love is out of reach
not in distance and time
but in resistance of mind.

...and so the end credits begin to roll
as the hero nears his goal
but the many battles have taken their toll.

Yet still one final boss left to destroy
what tactics shall I employ?
- go out in a blaze of glory
and explode like a supernova
Thus is the end of the story
no life left, game over.

The silence it deafens me
with violence they threaten me
to carry me off to an asylum
unless I can provide them
with an ulterior motive
till I hand in my notice
relinquish the chains upon my bed
the fiendish brain inside my head
deviously plotting my own demise
take leave from this place to warmer tides
bathe my body beneath calmer skies
naked like the day I drew breath
naked as I stare upon death
one hand holding a crooked scythe
the other beckoning to me, my life
did you forget to count the die?
or forgo the countless lies
that made the Countess cry
neither man nor mystery could change her path
so it's left to me to rearrange the past
jigsaw pieces scattered upon my pillow
connecting dots to draw the willow
who could forget the weeping widow
that cried herself to sleep.

I've seen it you know
the real you
I've witnessed the glow
that shines through
like sunlight
past cracked curtains
so bright
but not so certain
like a wounded bird
held tightly by God's word
I've seen your heart beat
so fast beneath the sheets
the emotions that you hide
tears like oceans, blue inside.

I told you before
that it's what you don't say
when I learn more
how you really are
not another distant star
in the nights sky
but someone real
that makes me cry
I don't mind still climbing
or waiting
for my destination
your affection
because I've seen the light
at the end of the tunnel
and its pure white perfection
As long as I see that light within
things will be all-right and I can grin
for I no longer have to give in.

Even though you try to keep it hidden
you can't stop the light
to which I am smitten
as its in plain sight
and I have been stricken.
A moment in your company
is worth a million elsewhere
if only you were next to me
then I wouldn't have a care.
In some ways you already are
that even though you're so far away
your forever here to stay
in my heart.

You thought you reached the final stage
but I know there's at least another page
which is yet unwritten
call it a dream or vision
but I know
because I've seen the real you
the one that glows.

Before she became a teen
she remained unseen
just another girl
lost in the world
now she’***** puberty
now everybody sees
now they stare
they pretend to care
now she’s found fame
same picture different frame
the unwanted attention
the objectification
not ready for this
not had her first kiss
but predators lurk
they hide in the woods
she clings to her innocence
but has stumbled into womanhood
now she bleeds like the rest
burdened by chest
she’s not ready for this
she’s not ready for this
her best friends dad
now gives her the eye
she wishes she had
the ability to lie
to pretend all is okay
that it’s meant to be this way
but she wants to turn back
but the facts are the facts
she’s no longer a girl
no more a child
it is what it is
she’s not ready for this
just leave her alone
she’s not ready for this..

Recycled body parts
abandoned souls
and broken hearts
cracked skin
chipped teeth
dead within
filled with grief
tired eyes
deaf and dumb
tired of lies
bodies numb
unkempt hair
unwashed face
forgot to care
left to waste
scarred flesh
brittle bones
nothing left
but we moan
and beg
and drag
this sack around
we stretch
and pluck
and inject
till no resemblance is found
recycled organs
and reused hearts
we are more than
the sum of our parts.

I wore my England shorts today
as a form of camouflage
so that I could remain at large
amongst the crowds of yobs
it's amazing how they can afford so much beer
without having jobs

a group of them approached
asked if I had a light
I said I never smoked
but there's a torch app on my phone
which is pretty bright

then one of the three
roared at me
It's coming home!!
to which I didn't reply
as I went back to my phone
afraid it was some form of mating cry

Oh learned friend where did you go?
t'wards heavens peak beneath the snow
to bury your heart atop a mountain  
where bitter wars had once raged
there many men were also slain
a battle yourself had been engaged
in loves fair and fortuitous name
hurry not to claim a maidens hand
for though beautiful the pursuit
all is and will render to the land
and any requests silenced like mutes
for if words can no longer be spoken
and the ink of quills runneth dry
then hearts will no more be broken  
nor can such lips utter another lie
only sweet truth radiates from being  
as will loves voice finally be heard
for all that remains is the seeing
of God's unadulterated word.

I keep pushing
I keep wishing
I keep praying
I keep staying strong
as this road called life is long.
Even though I may hit a few potholes
even though I've had a few shot goals
I must endure
I must keep my heart pure
I must settle the score
for this thing called life
it's war!

So tired of this feeling
so tired of just being
so tired of thy place
so tired of my face
so tired of frustration
so tired of humiliation
so tired of instant anger
so tired of constant hunger
so tired of feeble jealousy
so tired of peoples infidelity
so tired of running away
so tired of not knowing what to say
so tired of yo yo emotions
so tired of no go solutions
so tired of being tired
so tired of how my brain's wired
so tired of over thinking
so tired of sober drinking
so tired of appeasing obsessions
so tired of these possessions
so tired of saying no
so tired of staying home
so tired of praying alone
so tired of making excuses
so tired of feeling useless
so tired of restless nights
so tired of this pointless plight
so tired of facing fears
so tired or racing tears
so tired of panic attackss
so tired I can't relax
so tired of anxiety
I guess I'm just tired of me.

How fragile the butterfly
as it dances in the sky
trying to find its way home
to a place not carved of stone
soon all this will be dust
so it asks what's all the fuss?
what is all the fighting for?
silly soldiers and their wars
silly man and his laws
the only law is mother nature
for no man can escape her
she who birthed us all
she who waits when we fall
for how the mighty will crumble
as the fools they do stumble
upon the stolen hands of time
each of them suffering for their crimes
and yet the butterfly it worries not
for all that it is, is all that it's got
beauty set upon wings
it's beauty that truly sings.

All the passers by stop and stare
at the girl with the sparklers in her hair
a crown adorned with precious jewels
to blind those mere mortal fools
as many men have laid at her feet
to form a blanket on the ground
but her Prince shes yet to meet
her true love has not been found
the one that will look past the glitter
and see the sparkle from within
this one will remain with her
through this turbulent life of sin.

a man cannot live on bread alone
nor upon his enemies bones
the marrow of which seldom makes
a feast in which he can partake
the flesh and blood
of his fellow kin
are formed from mud
and infused with sin
planted in the soil his feet
to which Apollo waters
and the master beats
on to the slaughter
hand in hand
and eye for eye
until we can't stand
until we all die
until we all die

Tell me now are you having fun yet?
because all my words have become redundant
no matter how many girls I talk to
there's only one that fits the shoe
that crystal slipper
only I know how much I miss her
others may take my eye
but only one has the heart
so when they say hi
in my mind I soon depart
to that place where we both live
where our beds sit side by side
when it's just you I'm with
this is where I hide.

It may all be an illusion
as I'm left with trick not treat
but amidst all the confusion
I know that one day we'll meet
for I believed your words
that what you said was true
even now it may seem absurd
that I will see this through.

If I want to save the princess
one must sleigh the dragon
for I embarked on this quest
that I cannot fathom
a never ending story
starts with just a page
as does my journey
sets foot from its cage
once I escape Narnia
and exit from the wardrobe
I will hold you near
without the need for hope
on that day that I emerge
I'll be young again
then all my words
I shall be living.

I need not be loved
only to give it
it cannot be rushed
you have to live it
it is not jealous
or filled with pride
its not what you tell us
or what we confide
its not a concept of our mind
this could be the hardest lesson
for true love is blind.

It asks no questions
and needs no answers
Its not about feeling
its just about being
for every moment that we are existing
its only love that we're resisting
so let go of preconceived notions
you don't need any love potions
just allow your heart to radiate
for any time you hesitate
or live in hate
you deny your true calling
as its about faith
and not about falling.

True love is giving it all
as its unconditional
love isn't about holding on
it's about letting go
it's not about right or wrong
or what you know
it's not about what you receive
its about what you show
which is why I now must leave
so we can grow.

I am just a voice,
a name you can't remember,
an easy choice,
to dismember,
my vital *****,
for I am nothing more than,
a crazed fan,
this unnamed man,
that sits and waits,
for some recognition,
filled with fear and hate,
at his position,
caught in lust,
what love was before,
has turned to rust,
nothing more,
a tainted chalice,
which I still drink from,
our empty palace,
that we built upon,
the ruins of a relationship,
the hands that loosen grip,
that held so tightly,
the soft words spoken nightly,
from my heart outpours,
for this lost cause,
not in action,
more like fiction,
a romantic novel,
buried with a shovel,
in my hearts coffin,
so all thats left is,
fear, failure and nothing.

Scratch at my skin
bite upon my lip
feed off my sin
take a little sip.

Let me lust after
allow me to hate
feel my hunger
make me wait.

Guide my hands
across your body
your name you brand
I'm yours, use me.

Awaken my demons
ride the horseman
stir up my feelings
all just for fun.

Invade my soul
steal my innocence
tell me it's my fault
then let me repent.

Use me as a target
aim for my core
I've already marked it
not hard for you to score.

Take your scissors
cut into my heart
use precision
see what you can craft.

Slice me open
see how I bleed
leave me broken
watch me grieve.

Make me believe in
your honesty and trust
everything deceiving
everything is lost.

Poke me in the eye
stab me in the heart
tell me you will die
tear my world apart.

Take away my hope
sell all my dreams
in tears I soak
for you my fiend.

I have so many voices
so I speak for the voiceless
the ones who believe they're worthless
because they too deserve this
to experience love never ending
so let's stop pretending
that it's just for movie stars
on the silver screen
men are not from Mars
we are all in-between
this rock and a hard place
a rose between two thorns
all part of this human race
since the day we were born.

Let's stop running and stand still
for if we truly look
then we will truly feel
the greatest gift ever given
is the fact that we are living
in every moment we are breathing
this magical life we are receiving
for it can't be bought or sold
it's worth more than precious gold
yet this gift was free
didn't cost a penny
so let's give as we receive
then we can all have plenty.

My love is real
but my flesh is weak
my heart you steal
and forever keep.

For I am lost
and I am scared
I've payed my cost
my soul I bared.

These words I speak
that you may learn
it's love I seek
for you I yearn.

So take my hand
and dry your tears
so we may stand
when darkness nears.

I lost myself again
I became part of them
all those lost souls
connected by a web
each playing some role
hanging by a thread
looking for recognition
claiming we are unique
but with every proposition
someone else's words we speak
so why are you reading this?
you already know the punchline
I could seal it with a kiss
my body and soul are online
sold to the highest bidder
minus the commission
yet none of us are winners
as nobody listens
we are all just echo's
travelling through space
I've already let go
of my dignity and grace
a hybrid that's part machine
drip fed by strangers
on celebrity culture we feed
we are all now vampires
taken by the night
we have become digital liars
afraid of the light.

*Yet I see this web we're caught in
just don't know how to escape
so like you I'm still courting
trapped by my own fate.

Hunting crocodiles in my dreams
hiding smiles with our screams
the dead don't scream
they barely talk
hunting prey like a hawk.

Is it better to be the victim or victor?
Is it really winning if someone has to lose?
- maybe it's better not to choose
to not compete with crocodiles
hand not hook
hand not fist
hook no fish
lets all swim freely
lost amongst seaweed
we the weeds of this world
even weeds have flowers
even we can be beautiful
full of life
full of love
full of it
for it is everything
space, the final frontier
no more reason to cry
the crocodiles can't catch us here
nor do we need to give chase
chasing space
changing place
from here to there
from fear to fair
pay the ferryman
let him take you
on the voyage of a lifetime
don't follow the signs
as we all head the same way
all dead at the end of the day
stepping across crocodiles.

Why did the frog cross the road?
- because he didn't want to become a toad
every frog wants to be a Prince
and every Princess needs to be convinced
if you kiss enough toads you will find a frog
if you cross enough roads you will avoid the dogs
the bark is worse than the bite
all they're after is the bone
once that's gone they'll leave you alone
alone, alone, alone
third time lucky
third time we will see
we the weeds of the sea.

Where are my keys?
have you checked your pockets

Where are my glasses?
have you checked your head

Where is the love?*
have you checked your heart

I'm starting to question every thought I ever had
every reason for feeling sad
every dream dissolved
every story I ever told
as reality does not live in the mind
but with everything that passes our eyes
so stay focused
don't pay attention to the lies
for in my head I've lived a thousand lives
but in reality I've never touched the sky
not walked on the moon
never had a bride
never been the groom.

We had fun you and I
at least within my mind
been dreaming since I was a kid
of things that I never quite did
never once kissed your lips
nor smelt your sweet perfume
though those memories still exist
the truth is you left to soon
you only live in my imagination
a perfect mix of my creation
loving, kind and gentle
whispers sentimental.

So the question I ask;
do I keep you close in dreams?
- where our love will forever last
**or face the whaling screams
of a broken heart.

Words are dead!
there I said it
words are dead
the words in your head
are in the past
the words that you said
will not last
fireworks that attract the eye
liar's words in the mind
an explosion of language
and then silence
they do so much damage
and cause violence
chasing words
feeling tiredness
healing words
are band-aids on the soul
a soothing to the ears
they're dropped in empty holes
for who hears?
who really listens?
words are dead
we have visions
images of creation
words are no salvation
just pointers
pointing to the infinite
still they loiter
words we can't forget
we hold them to our chest
like lifeless children
we always do our best
but the words **** them
and now all that's left
is dead...
dead words.

words at most
are sign posts
never touching
what's real
minds watching
yearning to feel
and at least
the beasts
of burden
I'm sorry
i beg your pardon
i didn't mean those words
that cut to the bone
the words said in anguish
the words that you moan
love has its own language
that communicates by touch
you speak to me
you tell me so much
the words I weave
are a cry for help
please don't leave
this is what I felt
fault lines through and through
cracks in my sentences
words no longer the glue
the endless relentlessness
of thoughts
circling like sharks
they haunt
my deepest parts
the weakest heart
pumping out words
of dread
this is what I said
you said
the words that line our bed
sleeping on novels
we are apostles
of language
tell me how you manage
all your words
how do you discard them
with such ease
no gratitude
no need
your smile
sells more
empty words
than I could ever write
I'm never right
how could I be
when words are all I see
so please
use your lips
to silence my sentences
wrap your tongue
around my words
i promise you some
you've never heard.

Our relationship has become stale
the cracks I cannot mend
for my words they now fail
as if written on the wind.

How can we say we still care?
that we miss whats now lost
how can we try to repair?
and pay this heavy cost.

How can we regain the past?
or rewind the hands of time
so much has happened so fast
I once was yours and you mine.

Only goodbye does remain
there's no happiness in defeat
for how can we stay the same?
*how did we never meet...

I am a born writer
a worn out fighter
constantly battling my demons
frequently finding the reasons
to creep on going
to keep on flowing
29th round
and the sleeps now showing.

A persistent tiredness
an insistent wired finesse
Standing here battered and bruised
feeling shattered and used
a product of my stress.

A demons play thing
seasoned in the ring
resting on the ropes
jesting at my hopes
now running on reserve
dulling every nerve.
So I no longer can feel
the pain of my ordeal.

As my body aches
with signs of cramp
another blow he takes
its not over champ!
More blows sorely landing
it shows I'm barely standing
shaken and stunned.
Ding! Ding!
another round done.

You don't give too much away
but that's ok
as I read between the lines
of what you do and do not say
slowly learning your ways
you tell me more in your silence
your pauses are like diamonds.

I remember every word you never said
every thought I ever had
every measured sigh
every repeated question without reply
I don't ask to receive
they mask what I need
my real quest is to achieve
a wordless answer
as your silence is golden.

The worthless cancer
a predatory disease
I know how much you fight
and yet never loose sight
of what's true and right
you simply amaze me
that even though I'm not with you
you're all that I can see
a vision of beauty
your pixie like smile
that nothing can defile
to your pixelated skin
viewed on a screen
with more beauty laid within.

Where as I feel the need to verbalise every thought
that enters my head
even the ones that make me look bad
reveal every feeling
so I'm completely honest in my dealing
OK, maybe not everything
I wouldn't want to scare you
with the thoughts that I think
I filter out my anxieties and only tell what is true
a direct link from my heart straight through
my racing thoughts are not what's important
its my pacing heart shaped *****
to which I have given you the keys
an instrument that you play
as you're a musician with such ease
with the words you do not say.

I was told when you meet her you will know
it's true now I've felt your glow
I never want to let you go
and yet the more I draw you close
the more you pull away
that's what hurts the most
why won't you stay?

Like hourglass sand
trickling through the fingers of my hand
Wasted time that's past
for nothing in this life lasts
So lets hold onto what's special
as tomorrow could be celestial
let me be your lasting breath
or forever live in regret
as I watch your sunset.

Life is wasted on the youth
as only experience reveals the truth
that time only marches forward
so forget the moments that were awkward
forget all the stupid arguments
the silly little accidents
the thoughtless carelessness
because love is permanent.

Some call them the one
because they are comparable to no one
and yet one is singular
but love is all encompassing
from the moment it's begun
till there's no more sun.
Love transcends time and space
it forgets blame and disgrace
disregards gender or race.

Love is long suffering
for it endures all things
not just the good days
but also the bad
not only the praise
but also the sad
and so I still pray
no longer for me
but so you can see
that you can experience
loves warm glow
then you will be fearless
then you will know.

I was told when you meet her you will know
it's true now I've felt your glow
I never want to let you go
and yet the more I draw you close
the more you pull away
that's what hurts the most
why won't you stay?

Like hourglass sand
trickling through the fingers of my hand
wasted time that's past
for nothing in this life lasts
so lets hold onto what's special
as tomorrow could be celestial
let me be your lasting breath
or forever live in regret
as I watch your sunset.

Life is wasted on the youth
as only experience reveals the truth
that time only marches forward
so forget the moments that were awkward
forget all the stupid arguments
the silly little accidents
the thoughtless carelessness
because love is permanent.

Some call them the one
because they are comparable to no one
and yet one is singular
but love is all encompassing
from the moment it's begun
till there's no more sun
Love transcends time and space
it forgets blame and disgrace
disregards gender or race.

Love is long suffering
for it endures all things
not just the good days
but also the bad
not only the praise
but also the sad
and so I still pray
no longer for me
but so you can see
that you can experience
loves warm glow
then you will be fearless
then you will know.