Being skinny is really hard.
Starving yourself is not so smart.
I keep trying and trying to lose that weight.
But end up eating chocolate cake.
I say "just one bite!"
Two
"Three or four isn't bad for you..."
Five, six
"Just give me a slice."
Double it up
"It taste really nice!"

You may not want me here
But I am here to stay
I can help you ****
Those pounds you wish away

To improve your image
And help you feel delight
To stare into your reflection
And love the beautiful sight

We'll start with just a pound
Or maybe even more
Just walk into your bathroom
And behind you shut the door

It's okay darling
Not losing weight yet?
Alright, we'll cut some meals
No need to be upset

Your shedding weight pound for pound
But still you are not pleased
Your own reflection mocks you
And in public you are teased

Even now as you look in the mirror
You still want to lose it all
Down to 60 pounds
And all of your teardrops fall

You still felt worthless,
Not good enough
And life around you
Was getting too tough

You were killing yourself
And you just wanted it to end
You still wanted more
Of what I recommend

And now your dead
Because you were a little overweight
And you never believed your friends
When they told you "you look great"

weight
          breathless
      lungs
  air
gasp
     suffering
                 tears
    thirty one
scars
       cuts
             wounds
         dad
yelling
          fights
    cries
          survival
                      apocalypse
           suicide
      cuts
           blades
scissors
           knives
                     dying
                             sleeping
                      tired
              quiet
        ­      s
             i
            l
           e
          n
         c
        e

A book shouldn't be judged by its cover they said.
A person should be judged on their heart they said.
Plenty of books go unread
They are too small
Too thick
Too old
Too beat up

People and love have the same fate as a book.
Love is hypocritical.
How can an emotion, that is said to be
Judged by the heart,
Consider the optical cortex's opinion.
Before it weighs a soul
Hypocrites.

Predators are lead by their sight as well.
Killing off prey
In blood lust
That is interesting.
Perhaps lust is the issue
Their eyes devour what they want
While the heart is left empty.

If I lose weight am I subscribing to this belief?
Am I not fit enough to be loved?
Would being devoured by predators truly mend my heart?
My windowless soul bleeds.
While their eyes ignore me.
Am I changing myself to be loved, or
Can love change itself to find me?

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
1. Take care of your teeth and gums
Brush & floss, everyday (Seriously)
Keep your teeth, if at all possible.
They are your very own precious Ivory.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
2. a. Eat well. Do not deny your body
nourishment. Gals, you will want a nice
set of *****. Trust me...eat.
b, Try to not put on too much extra weight.
(no judgement here) Just that it is very
******* your body. Ridiculously
difficult to lose when you're older.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
3. Love the skin you live within.  Try not to
bake your bareness too long in the sun,
or burn your precious epidermis.
Cleanse, exfoliate. Most of all, drink plenty of water and moisturize, moisturize, moisturize
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
4. Hang on to all of your bones.
You will miss them when they are gone
Take care of your hands, neck, hips and knees.
Once your joints wear out, it's a total ******.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
5. Keep movin' and groovin'.
If you stay still too long, you will get stuck
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6. Find the humor in everything. It is there!
All of life's lessons placed before you.
When all else fails, you can laugh about it.
(Trust Me. Your going to need this one)
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

~Christi Michaels~May 2015~
Copyright © 2015 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.

I've handed you
every missed opportunity I have ever had with a beautiful,
intelligent man. You are now
the object of my affection, like
everyone who came before you wasn't real,
only practice, but the sting of their rejection
has lasted. It's still burned into my memory.
I am giving it all to you.
Please hold it, for a little while, don't let
my chaos burn your skin, juggle it
between fingers and let it wind around your arm
like a boa constrictor.
You have the weight of the world
on your shoulders, it's up to you to redeem
all mankind, in my mind.
Please, smoke out the bad memories
from the empty, needy cavern of my mind.
Please, replace them with good, with your
jokes, and smile, and kisses on the
small of my back.
******* Bukowski was right, you have
no knife, the knife is mine. But I gave
it to you. Sharp as hell.
Please, don't use it
yet.

I have too many thoughts
A weight in my mind
A weight in my body
A weight in my soul
Tears run paths undiscovered, finding new nooks and crannies
That I didn't know existed
Until filled with Insecurity
Write out the pain
Write out the hurt
Write out the worry
I have too many thoughts