With all these voices in my head
And all the messages I've sent
All the replies I never get
They say forgive and then forget

Everything I've done has led to regret
And stood me up right on the edge
Feet halfway over the ledge
Wind in my face and what comes next?

A flashback to memories
With violent ends from violent deeds
I see them right before they bleed
And cold shivers run underneath

I've been called both crazy and insane
Like something's wrong inside my brain
To everyone else I'm not the same
I ain't normal, I ain't plain

But then again, I didn't want to be
It's not my fault I cause unease
I don't see what everyone else sees
I see dead men on their feet

Why fight on and be so strong
In a world where I don't belong?
Where everything has gone all wrong
From ongoing wars to the suicide song

I hear white noise when I walk
And whispering when I don't talk
A shadow behind that always stalks
Paranoid, eyes like a hawk

I'm sorry I'm not what you wish I was
But don't hate me just because
I don't meet your expectations
So give up on my resuscitation

*"You cannot revive the dead and ******"

As a man where do I stand?
Helping everyone that I can
Though I'm off the edge and I'm still falling
Don't mind me everyone else is important

I'd like to say I still feel hope
Elevators are just a joke
That implies that my ride is smooth
If that's so then explain this bruise

And this cut, and this graze
Depression gives your mind quite the haze
You begin to see, and believe
Even though it's not reality

Smile on the outside but inside your dead
Your soul to the dogs has been fed
Can't find the effort to stay alive
Life's a game of run and hide

But do not jump, it's not fair
Can you feel your friends hearts tear?
How about your family? Your three little sisters?
How can you leave when they least expect it?

So climb back down and I'll catch you
Just say the word and I'm here for you
Doesn't matter where you are
Give me a call 'coz I ain't that far

I look down at the blade
And see the scars that I engraved
A mark that'll forever stay and
Torture me every day...

Yeah I've seen some ****
And felt deeply about all of it,
Been places and seen faces, wish I could forget
And some things I wanna take back, that I shouldn't have said

But it's easier said than done,
The past catches me up whenever I try to run
So I reflect on how I'm such a reject
Not accepted simply because I'm different

But not everyone sees what I see
That everybody's different, in their own way unique
Some believe in love at first sight, I didn't
And if she sees this she'll probably be suspicious

But there's so many different meanings for the word love
And so many times I think I've had enough
Of trying my hand at trying to hold another's hand
I put in more effort than I seem to, understand?

It's just another facade, another masquerade
Of people hiding thoughts and ideals so that they stay safe
But how in the world is this world gonna change,
When nobody opens up and it all stays the same?

A sliver, a shadow,
Peeking round the corner
I try to shy, to run and hide,
But it's always behind my shoulder

Grabs a hold, won't let go
Can anyone relate? I'll never know
Look in the mirror to try and see
The demon standing next to me

It walks like me, talks like me,
Laughs like me, acts like me
Follows me, tortures me,
Asphyxiating, I CAN'T BREATHE

Wanna run, I know I can't hide
From the demon I released and harboured inside..

And it affects me so...
Can't, let, go.....

So I'll live with it,
Accept it
This is my life now
As much as I want it to go,
It's my silhouette, my shadow...

I'd like it to go
As far away as possible
But as much as I want it gone...
Like a part of me, it belongs...

I'm paranoid, always look around
Turn fast at even the slightest sound
Can't help it, just how I am
Hopefully you understand

I know I'm being watched, by what lies behind
The past and the present like cars collide
In shattered glass, flying past,
Slow-motion, infinitely lasts

Slam the brakes but it's too late
Accelerate guarantees the fate
Things will happen and will be seen
By the shadow that lurks behind the scenes

And it sees me so,
And can't seem to let me go...

So I'll live with it,
Accept it
This is my life now
As much as I want it to go,
It's my silhouette, my shadow...

I'd like it to go
As far away as possible
But as much as I want it gone...
Like a part of me, it belongs...

Let go, let go...
A part of me that I want gone
But like my soul I guess it belongs
Go, goooooo....
I guess I'll just get used to it
Despite the fact it lacks common sense

Straight outta Ex Dee,
Crazy mother f@cker named Blatchy
Dropping sick beats, rolling hard in the backstreets,
Watch him roll dough as he hailin' a taxi,
Fancy f@cken suit, he's livin' in luxury

Fedora tipped-top on the tippy-top head
Gunning bad gangstas, better red than dead
Shooting spree, smilin' with glee
Don't wanna f@ck with a guy straight outta Ex Dee!

Just another photo, with just another frame
Showing pictures of warped memories when time was just a name
Unbound by restrictions, not tied by the cord
That makes you stop and contemplate the risk or the reward

I was happier when I was young,
Oblivious and playing dumb
Forgiving and forgetting little things
That didn't really involve my mum

I never really knew my Dad
And sometimes it still makes me mad
How disconnection affects affection
And how when he left I used to be sad

I'd see my Father step on the plane
And the hollow in my chest just wouldn't fade
Even as young as then I knew he couldn't stay
He had a job to keep food on the plate

And my Mother? Yeah, I used to like her
When I was younger and didn't really know much better
What kind of Mother locks you in your room using a rope?
And shuts you in with nightmares hanging on walls, slightly sloped?

I wonder what it would be like if my parents were still together
If maybe they'd be happy or things would be any better
Never mind, I guess I'm just reflecting on life
And the pointlessness unlike the razor point of a knife

I carved my own skin into a memory of darkness
In times where I was not my best and was so sick of advancing
Through a life that lost it's point, hell, it's edge
I stop and think what it'd be like if depression and I had never met

I lose focus on the better things, they tell you to be positive
But how do you do this when you're conditioned to see the negative?
By a world that never liked you, that disconnected you from kin
And treated like the regular trash you ditch into the bin?

Things never seemed to go my way, so I gave up trying
And this explains why I'd be up late at night, crying
I'd try to sing a lullaby and fall asleep to it
But my voice was so hoarse I could never do it.

People say my life ain't bad, that's because I'm smilin'
Cracking jokes about dope and **** they don't know that I'm hidin'
Behind the face they wanna see, that some have come to hate
Especially a recent ex girlfriend and others as of late

I'd say it was coincidence, but I guess it's just a test
Is man or mother Nature truly, 100% the best?
Push on through this life, I'm doing it so you can too
Don't let people's gossip and ****** opinions get to you

They ain't worth the time, nor the cranial space
They just trash, so move past, it's your own mind to waste
So do it as you will, just be who you want
And don't be a warped picture that reminds you what you've lost

It's another day,
Nothing's changed
You'd think it boring
When it stays the same

Perhaps it is,
But not to me
You could call it bad,
Predictability

I get by,
With my wicked ways
I'd load up
Though I know the names

**** digging my way to hell
I'll just take the elevator

Riddles, may you waste my time
Whilst I search may I find a better rhyme
Mysteries may you consume my mind
To conceal the emotions running wild