I tried to resurrect you in every thought I had
I tried to connect through words on a notepad
I have tried to let go of the sad
I tried every coping mechanism I had
...you weren't even a good dad...

©2024

Tried it
Can't do it
Can not be done
So it can't be undone, I'll prove it

Picture this for a minute
Picturesque hides what's not picture perfect
Don't run
It may pay off to listen to the verdict

Incompetent parents apparent
Cinderella's sisters type fit
Concrete clown shoes
Encased in discount mob cement

Bounced check
Inherited emotional debt
My symbolic account
Won't reveal, just conceals most of it

A Zeppelin wreck
Unnecessary resentment, no regret
I 86'd forgiveness
And I'm not looking to forget

The living, breathing embodiment
Of "The crime doesn't fit the punishment"
"Be wary the quiet ones"
I also embody that statement

I am what they meant
A broken degenerate
And no matter my efforts
It's as permanent as I get

I hope this clears things up a bit

©2024

I'll be better here sometime right before never,
I swear
Not trying to be clever
I'm being sincere
Just can't assign a specific timeline to recover
I've tried it,
Found it only helped set up the next failure
The one that's already lurking around each and every corner
I stand defiant, against my own self preservation order,
Almost daring it to leap from the darkness a couple corners sooner
I'm not trying to be negative either
Life is an iffy endeavor
But I don't not get it,
I can see it from the view of the average observer
It's gotta look like a recipe for disaster
But it's better than what I see in the mirror
Something I won't need a memory to remember
Branding me with this, scared flesh on each wrist,
A gut wrenching reminder
The kind that can only linger forever
Stalking me from the edge of what I'll be able to remember
But it'll get better...
...they swear

©2024

We are not the same, I am not like you
And that's not a flex 'cause honestly I constantly try too hard to
Every new "new me" falls apart moments after it's debut
If I stay true to who I am I promise you not a single person will enjoy that view
No one ever has, no one ever will, it's almost a skill, bullshido kung-fu
I've already been told, "look around fool, not a soul likes that you."
"You have nobody buddy except for maybe the presence of two"
"But only 'cause they don't know what's truly lurking beneath the surface level you"
Just a few more things I wish weren't true but life never forgets to remind me right on cue
It cuts right through, fills the blue, will be what leaves me the same permanent hue
The new question becomes do I need more than a few? Do I want a big crew?
And will they even stick around without some sort of voodoo or glue?
I have no clue, but it's never for long if they ever decide to
So what's a guy to do?

©2023

Alone on a chilly night in September
Lost emotions still vividly remember
Sands of time erase happier days
Wondering why so little good stays

When I don't hear from you I stress
Inner storm only tamed by your caress
The weather lately has taken a turn
For the cold my heart holds will always return

Where my footprints fade and yours begin
Moments eternity seems suspended in
With another call straight to voicemail goes
Saltwater teardrops I fight like foes

At war with my own weakness and doubt
Puzzles and riddles I can't figure out
Shadows overtake our souls with shame
Empty and vacant
Demons steal our names

When you disappear I am left neglected
To forgive you comes easier than expected
The tide pulls you out and washes back ashore
Each time I wonder what you even leave me for?

"Grbrb!" Does the glowing water
As Jill drowns in her wait underwater
The river person above continues
rowing his boat unknowingly in his lonely river

paper hearts form a heart shape seemingly All around his boat,
he notices
He touches them, mesmerized
but not surprised

He figured his love was there, so he let the water gently drag him to her thereafter

Jill had been gone 24 years ago
he had taken too long
It was his choice
Jack wanted to go along with Jill
Love was always a foolishly cautious trap.

Don't you agree?