I am changing.
I'm not greatful nor have I gained wisdom from what happened to me.
But I am tougher, my barrier is stronger.
I know who I am, and I'm no longer afraid.
No more ******* and lies.
I see through it all.
So take your best shot, I dare you.

i see your finger wrapped around the trigger of your imaginary 74
i feel the empty pit inside your stomach you scramble so tirelessy to fill
i hear your muffled cries hidden behind your toughboy masquerade
i taste the bitterness of your sorrow
and the familiar burn of whiskey straight from the bottle

i want to reach inside your stone-cold chest
and cradle in my hands the warm fragile heart i know you hide
you're a baby bird nestled in a bed of tangled thorns
and i'm the little girl wishing to nurse you to health in a shoebox lined with cotton

i see you in brass knuckles on soft shaking hands
and in leather belts digging into sore red skin
i love you more than you could ever know
or even begin to understand

Her eyes bat innocence
While her hair screams LSD

Learn to embrace the dissonance
Cause she just wants to be free

Autumn is the witches season
Still, summer clings without reason

Grasping at all the lovely bits
That tear her into nothingness

When she's falling she finds her power
Power that's needed to rule the hour

But how is an hour long enough?
For her to look tuff and feel tough?

Push my shoulder blades together,
Force my chest open
To breathe cold, frigid air.

Remove the collar from my shirt,
Suffocating me,

Keep me on the porch tonight,
To air out uncertainties,

Have the cold air dry my stinging tears.

My body shaking from the cold,
Or maybe my lack of breath.

"Come inside now! You will freeze!"
My aunt yells to me,

But out here,
I can breathe.

I'm so confused,
I don't know what to do.
No way to elude,
No way to breakthrough.

What should I do?
What should I pick?
What's my best option?
In times like these.

I'm craving help,
I'm craving knowledge.
I'm so confused,
But these feelings I'll stoppage.

He took nothing from nobody--- never
As tough an umpire as they come
Big, boisterous, arrogant
Walking with a strut
"Whatever call you make is only the right call.
Never complain, never apologize," he used to say.
Ken Kaiser may be gone, but his memory will always be in play.
In the off season, his family would tell him to calm down and stop telling them what to do
If you can believe it, before umpiring he was The Hatchet, a professional wrestler, and never won a match.
He was proud that as an umpire he never lost control of a game.
The field was intimidated by him.
Rightly so.

Have you ever tasted
being caught inbetween?
Had your soul
half stained, half clean?
I doubt you'd understand
how I stand so tall,
when you cause
everything around you to fall,
only so many stabs I could take,
Now it's you I forsake,
served you your own
medicine on a plate,
now you know I'm not
a piece of cake.

You're dreaming if you
thought you could
get the best of me,
you went too far and
dug our grave too deep,
you don't know what's
inside my skin,
you despise my strength
from within,
so now devour the
mess you're in.

You know I've had enough
and I don't want to know
if you've been crying,
I'm done self sacrificing,
You thought you could
break me,

but you could never sedate me,
You could never ruin someone
*so tough.

The nights are cold
The roads are rough
But tremble not
You know you're tough
The fact you've put in effort is enough
It's ok to sit back, enjoy, and laugh

The nights are long
The journey gets tough
You brace yourself
Enough, you think, is enough
You put your foot down
And stomp real hard
You've come this far
They'll just have to let you pass