a lasting portrait that sways in your head
like the pendulum in a clock swinging every second
it was tormenting you
and— i lingered     still.
even though i’ve long left
it seems like my heart was still there
my mind trying to cut off strings of attachments
my heart clung onto
both of us saw each other at the corner of our eyes         again.
yet we look down and walk away
not even giving a smile but a “bye”
you didn’t know your feelings
and up till now u still don’t
but i did.    
—from the very start i knew.
but yet knowing you, like i knew myself
i still expected a nicely wrapped gift
when u had let me down.

Luminescence in the dark

She burnt, slowly but with intent, not so much a flickering flame ticking away at an oil soaked wick, but a continuous stream of energy sourcing from her earthly power. Most of the time she carried a faint glow, gently floating, casting the softest hues on things only moments forgotten, things in which she dreamt whilst spinning in creation, or perhaps things needing to be given to a nights ocean wave

She was born as deep as an ocean and many of her feelings reaching ranges unfathomable. Often troubled and tormented by things past, thoughts that burn and then rain tears like ash, a once dormant volcano breaking through the oceanic floor. Resurfacing, revisiting once more. Opening up to be quickly cooled and building upon her growing foundation, a demonstration for the ones she loves. Let her burn and boil, and when she erupts, be with her at her depths as she cools.

I  heard the voice of silence
tormenting my soul
with spirits of nothingness
each day switching sentience
into my heart screaming
quiet in the shade of melancholy.
©shadeofalonelygirl

By Amoy

Hiding behind the mask of shame and pain
I pick on you just so I can build my confidence and look cool
Who will help me to unmask my pain and show my true self to the world?
I hide in the hole of my mind waiting for someone to care enough to see through my game.
I hurt people because I’m hurt; I pick on you because I was picked on
I suffer in silence only to spew the nastiest thing that my ego dispels from my soul
Can’t you see that my venom masks my pain?
Help me too; I am the victim who only knows pain and anxiety
Everyone helps the victim; can’t you see that I am a victim too?
Can’t you see that my hurt takes shape and camouflages what lies beneath?
Can’t you see I hurt too?
Tell me who helps the bully?
Is it you? Do u have time to help me?
No one will
I guess u think that I’m a lost cause as well?
I’m not a lost cause I am a worthy cause
Who will help the Bully?

If you can get me to admit that I that I need love too then you have done your job
Help me see that I am worthy, that I can be confident without causing pain
Help me to love myself, that's where most of my pain lies.
Help me; forgive me so that I can forgive myself.
Who will help the bully; is it you? We are victims too
Who will help me see that my future can be bright too?
Who will help the bully is it you?

He took something so precious
That it stunned me into silence.
Took a pretty princess
And treated her with rabid violence.
So tense in nature,
So aggressive in being.
The only way to win
A game of torture is by fleeing.
Running to the hills,
Never looking back
Sopping up soot on my foot
Of this lost, infinite black.
Whole body in half form,
This has become the accepted norm.
I’m hurting because of what
He did to me-
Just like the last.
These girls from is past?
He’s used us all.
Run away while he stalls.
Be sure not to fall
And crumble in his grasp.
This is not my final form.
But evil man,
You’ve finally seen the
Last of me.

Maybe I hear the silence of the stars on the arch of my heart,
maybe you'll sail on waves of agitated times, keeping us apart.
Maybe the bird's chatter is resounding, whispering my name,
maybe you'll travel through dark shadows, playing Satan's game.

Maybe every dream in life begins with a romantic dreamer,
maybe Love is sleeping its hard, tormenting sleep of a redeemer.
Maybe you wander in my thoughts, and I, through your mind,
maybe we strip off from our emotions without being fined.

Maybe my heart is singing for you on high musical notes,
maybe my nights became days on the instrumental boats.
Maybe I'm a human who has many tattoos on her soul,
maybe in life, I went through storm, agony, without any goal.

Maybe my expectations are limping in front of the endless fears,
maybe life's harshness is pushing my burdened shoulders in tears.
Maybe your sweet soul wants to speak to me in gentle words,
maybe my fate will take-off on its flight, resembling birds.

Maybe I will not tear any page from the big book of my life,
maybe I'll forget the past and look at the good parts, without a strife.
Maybe life has no subtitles at all and perhaps I need a dream,
maybe to give me an illustration about how it's like in heaven's team.

Maybe your soul is searching in me just a sweet isolation,
maybe the reality is another and with us in a long litigation.
Maybe we are just simple actors in life's longest play,
maybe we should be more careful and don't forget to pray.

Maybe I feel my legs strongly tight up, with no chance to run,
maybe I don't want any help, or to be indebted to someone.
Maybe I want to measure the happiness in tiny short moments,
maybe I'm tired of receiving just words and compliments.

Maybe the smile of your heart gives to my soul a new chance,
maybe I need a bit of courage to accept another avalanche.
Maybe in my soul, I feel like dying, because maybe I'm in love,
maybe I feel more, but I'm afraid to admit all I've written above.