bloodshot eyes
shimmery cheeks
“remember to breathe”
i would look into your eyes
and tell you im fine.
with piled up emotions
some days full
and others empty
within a second or two
the water that overflowed
could become nothing but emptiness
it dried up too quickly
“what was i feeling?”
i don’t know.
i’m walking aimlessly,
daydreaming,
drooling,
sleeping,
becoming an empty void.
i whisper through the winds
and scream through thunders
nothing but silence
no, not this nor that
it’s not what u are thinking
“what am i thinking?”
hmm.....
now i’m smiling
look, im happy, goodbye!

the scene in my dream
a knife held tightly to my hand
stabbed into my body
while i collapse to the kitchen floor
bleeding.
right now,
sitting on the kitchen floor
i could see myself
reaching out towards that knife
please stop, don’t do it.
just hold on for a little while more.
everything will be fine, right?
i held the knife in my hand
breaking down on the kitchen floor
im calling out.
someone
please
help me.

helpless,
your eyes watered
yet you say you’re fine.
the coldness crippled through your spine
and afraid to fault again,
silence lurked.

you hid your pain with light,
it blinded the darkness
and your sorrows were held high.

my heart aches writing this, but
held so close in your embrace,
still- far apart.  
your presence caressed me.  

just a breath away,
you slipped from my hands.
i held you like water dripping down my bare hands.
now i’m stuck between these spaces,
these memories,
they were crumpled and thrown away into the bin.

tissues that drenched
and pillows that knew every story.
my legs couldn’t take the weight,
i fell to my knees.

the last petal drops
the moon cries
was i destroying something so beautiful yet bitter?

the sun shines
with your sun-kissed skin
and honey brown eyes.
i lose myself in your gaze
when you give me butterflies.

we kissed, we danced
we pranced under the sunlight.
our melodies of music became a symphony
where our hearts sung and danced to.

our fingers interlocked
with my forehead touching yours,
and yours touching mine.
we were entangled in heartstrings
and you are all that i want.

we went through tough times together,
stood by each other
and never left one another.

i don’t want to drive you insane, but i love you, i really do.
i don’t care if you are “thrash” or “bad” because i love you no matter what.
you’re perfect to me because your flaws makes you who you are today.
let me tell you my love, i love you for who you are and i would never want to lose you.

i’ll never forget the fleeting moment when we had our first kiss or when i had your hand in mine.
all i want to say is, i love you.