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Mark Kelley  Feb 2019
Struggle
Mark Kelley Feb 2019
“Struggle”

Struggle  to reach the sea
    As it steals you from the wind
Struggle to find the sails
    To bring you back again
Struggle to kiss the sky
      As it hands you another chance
Struggle to get back to the dance

Struggle to kiss her face
    Familiar as it seems
Struggle to hold her smile
     Forever in your dreams
Struggle to reach the stars
       As distant as they are
Struggle to see that far


      Have you ever considered that

Often in the distant night,
The angels called your name
And in the morning lights
you answered with the same

Struggle to find your love
      As you knock on every door
Struggle to steer the ship
        On course to distant shores
Struggle to feel your heart
        Beat against the night
Struggle to find your sight


      Have you ever considered that

Often in the dreamland
The angels gave you wings
And in the morning silence
You heard the rivers sing

And

Once upon a rainbow
The angels set you free
And someday on a windy hill
      They’ll
      Come again for me
surfngrl0204  Jan 2015
struggle
surfngrl0204 Jan 2015
I struggle with hearing your name.
I struggle with seeing your face on my feed.
I struggle with what happened between you and me.
I struggle with the friends i know from knowing your name and place we would hang.
I struggle with wanting you.
I struggle with the fact that we both found someone else.
I struggle with hoping its all for the best.
but most of all I struggle with the thought of you in my heart and mind that won't let me rest..
1-17-15   3:05am
Donna Bella  Jan 2017
Struggle
Donna Bella Jan 2017
The Struggle*
The struggle to be here 100% for him
The struggle to love him like he deserves
The struggle for me to stay with him after I promised with my tongue
The struggle to let my heart continually love him
The struggle to not blame him for what I'm feeling
The struggle to understand him
The struggle to understand us
The struggle to understand the loneliness
The struggle I feel
Valentine Mbagu Oct 2013
Where the eagle of mantle flies,
there the struggle for mantle l will battle.

Where the battle for mantle rages,
there the struggle for mantle l will battle.

Where the wine of battle drops,
there l will dine to struggle for mantle.

Where the yeast of battle erupts,
there l will feast to struggle for mantle.

Where the groans of unction to function lingers,
there l will be eager to struggle for the drone of mantle.

At the mountain of struggle for mantle,
there l will mount my fountain for battle.
At the ankle of struggle for mantle,
there l will hum my anthem for battle.
At the sickle of battle for mantle,
there l will hunt my struggle for mantle.

On that day when l dangle for the paddle of mantle,
Still l will struggle to battle for mantle.

Follow on Twitter:
@ValentineMbagu.
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A true story by  Thula Bopela**

I have no idea whether the white man I am writing about is still alive or not. He gave me an understanding of what actually happened to us Africans, and how sinister it was, when we were colonized. His name was Ronald Stanley Peters, Homicide Chief, Matabeleland, in what was at the time Rhodesia. He was the man in charge of the case they had against us, ******. I was one of a group of ANC/ZAPU guerillas that had infiltrated into the Wankie Game Reserve in 1967, and had been in action against elements of the Rhodesian African rifles (RAR), and the Rhodesian Light Infantry (RLI). We were now in the custody of the British South Africa Police (BSAP), the Rhodesian Police. I was the last to be captured in the group that was going to appear at the Salisbury (Harare) High Court on a charge of ******, 4 counts.
‘I have completed my investigation of this case, Mr. Bopela, and I will be sending the case to the Attorney-General’s Office, Mr. Bosman, who will the take up the prosecution of your case on a date to be decided,’ Ron Peters told me. ‘I will hang all of you, but I must tell you that you are good fighters but you cannot win.’
‘Tell me, Inspector,’ I shot back, ‘are you not contradicting yourself when you say we are good fighters but will not win? Good fighters always win.’
‘Mr. Bopela, even the best fighters on the ground, cannot win if information is sent to their enemy by high-ranking officials of their organizations, even before the fighters begin their operations. Even though we had information that you were on your way, we were not prepared for the fight that you put up,’ the Englishman said quietly. ‘We give due where it is to be given after having met you in battle. That is why I am saying you are good fighters, but will not win.’
Thirteen years later, in 1980, I went to Police Headquarters in Harare and asked where I could find Detective-Inspector Ronald Stanley Peters, retired maybe. President Robert Mugabe had become Prime Minster and had released all of us….common criminal and freedom-fighter. I was told by the white officer behind the counter that Inspector Peters had retired and now lived in Bulawayo. I asked to speak to him on the telephone. The officer dialed his number and explained why he was calling. I was given the phone, and spoke to the Superintendent, the rank he had retired on. We agreed to meet in two days time at his house at Matshe-amhlophe, a very up-market suburb in Bulawayo. I travelled to Bulawayo by train, and took a taxi from town to his home.
I had last seen him at the Salisbury High Court after we had been sentenced to death by Justice L Lewis in 1967. His hair had greyed but he was still the tall policeman I had last seen in 1967. He smiled quietly at me and introduced me to his family, two grown up chaps and a daughter. Lastly came his wife, Doreen, a regal-looking Englishwoman. ‘He is one of the chaps I bagged during my time in the Service. We sent him to the gallows but he is back and wants to see me, Doreen.’ He smiled again and ushered me into his study.
He offered me a drink, a scotch whisky I had not asked for, but enjoyed very much I must say. We spent some time on the small talk about the weather and the current news.
‘So,’ Ron began, ‘they did not hang you are after all, old chap! Congratulations, and may you live many more!’ We toasted and I sat across him in a comfortable sofa. ‘A man does not die before his time, Ron’ I replied rather gloomily, ‘never mind the power the judge has or what the executioner intends to do to one.’
‘I am happy you got a reprieve Thula,’, Ron said, ‘but what was it based on? I am just curious about what might have prompted His Excellency Clifford Du Pont, to grant you a pardon. You were a bunch of unrepentant terrorists.’
‘I do not know Superintendent,’ I replied truthfully. ‘Like I have said, a man does not die before his time.’ He poured me another drink and I became less tense.
‘So, Mr. Bopela, what brings such a lucky fellow all the way from happy Harare to a dull place like our Bulawayo down here?’
‘Superintendent, you said to me after you had finished your investigations that you were going to hang all of us. You were wrong; we did not all hang. You said also that though we were good fighters we would not win. You were wrong again Superintendent; we have won! We are in power now. I told you that good fighters do win.’
The Superintendent put his drink on the side table and stood up. He walked slowly to the window that overlooked his well-manicured garden and stood there facing me.
‘So you think you have won Thula? What have you won, tell me. I need to know.’
‘We have won everything Superintendent, in case you have not noticed. Every thing! We will have a black president, prime minister, black cabinet, black members of Parliament, judges, Chiefs of Police and the Army. Every thing Superintendent. I came all the way to come and ask you to apologize to me for telling me that good fighters do not win. You were wrong Superintendent, were you not?’
He went back to his seat and picked up his glass, and emptied it. He poured himself another shot and put it on the side table and was quiet for a while.
‘So, you think you have won everything Mr. Bopela, huh? I am sorry to spoil your happiness sir, but you have not won anything. You have political power, yes, but that is all. We control the economy of this country, on whose stability depends everybody’s livelihood, including the lives of those who boast that they have political power, you and your victorious friends. Maybe I should tell you something about us white people Mr. Bopela. I think you deserve it too, seeing how you kept this nonsense warm in your head for thirteen hard years in prison. ‘When I get out I am going to find Ron Peters and tell him to apologize for saying we wouldn’t win,’ you promised yourself. Now listen to me carefully my friend, I am going to help you understand us white people a bit better, and the kind of problem you and your friends have to deal with.’
‘When we planted our flag in the place where we built the city of Salisbury, in 1877, we planned for this time. We planned for the time when the African would rise up against us, and perhaps defeat us by sheer numbers and insurrection. When that time came, we decided, the African should not be in a position to rule his newly-found country without taking his cue from us. We should continue to rule, even after political power has been snatched from us, Mr. Bopela.’
‘How did you plan to do that my dear Superintendent,’ I mocked.
‘Very simple, Mr. Bopela, very simple,’ Peters told me.
‘We started by changing the country we took from you to a country that you will find, many centuries later, when you gain political power. It would be totally unlike the country your ancestors lived in; it would be a new country. Let us start with agriculture. We introduced methods of farming that were not known I Africa, where people dug a hole in the ground, covered it up with soil and went to sleep under a tree in the shade. We made agriculture a science. To farm our way, an African needed to understand soil types, the fertilizers that type of soil required, and which crops to plant on what type of soil. We kept this knowledge from the African, how to farm scientifically and on a scale big enough to contribute strongly to the national economy. We did this so that when the African demands and gets his land back, he should not be able to farm it like we do. He would then be obliged to beg us to teach him how. Is that not power, Mr. Bopela?’
‘We industrialized the country, factories, mines, together with agricultural output, became the mainstay of the new economy, but controlled and understood only by us. We kept the knowledge of all this from you people, the skills required to run such a country successfully. It is not because Africans are stupid because they do not know what to do with an industrialized country. We just excluded the African from this knowledge and kept him in the dark. This exercise can be compared to that of a man whose house was taken away from him by a stronger person. The stronger person would then change all the locks so that when the real owner returned, he would not know how to enter his own house.’
We then introduced a financial system – money (currency), banks, the stock market and linked it with other stock markets in the world. We are aware that your country may have valuable minerals, which you may be able to extract….but where would you sell them? We would push their value to next-to-nothing in our stock markets. You may have diamonds or oil in your country Mr. Bopela, but we are in possession of the formulas how they may be refined and made into a product ready for sale on the stock markets, which we control. You cannot eat diamonds and drink oil even if you have these valuable commodities. You have to bring them to our stock markets.’
‘We control technology and communications. You fellows cannot even fly an aeroplane, let alone make one. This is the knowledge we kept from you, deliberately. Now that you have won, as you claim Mr. Bopela, how do you plan to run all these things you were prevented from learning? You will be His Excellency this, and the Honorable this and wear gold chains on your necks as mayors, but you will have no power. Parliament after all is just a talking house; it does not run the economy; we do. We do not need to be in parliament to rule your Zimbabwe. We have the power of knowledge and vital skills, needed to run the economy and create jobs. Without us, your Zimbabwe will collapse. You see now what I mean when I say you have won nothing? I know what I am talking about. We could even sabotage your economy and you would not know what had happened.’
We were both silent for some time, I trying not to show how devastating this information was to me; Ron Peters maybe gloating. It was so true, yet so painful. In South Africa they had not only kept this information from us, they had also destroyed our education, so that when we won, we would still not have the skills we needed because we had been forbidden to become scientists and engineers. I did not feel any anger towards the man sitting opposite me, sipping a whisky. He was right.
‘Even the Africans who had the skills we tried to prevent you from having would be too few to have an impact on our plan. The few who would perhaps have acquired the vital skills would earn very high salaries, and become a black elite grouping, a class apart from fellow suffering Africans,’ Ron Peters persisted. ‘If you understand this Thula, you will probably succeed in making your fellow blacks understand the difference between ‘being in office’ and ‘being in power’. Your leaders will be in office, but not in power. This means that your parliamentary majority will not enable you to run the country….without us, that is.’
I asked Ron to call a taxi for me; I needed to leave. The taxi arrived, not quickly enough for me, who was aching to depart with my sorrow. Ron then delivered the coup de grace:
‘What we are waiting to watch happening, after your attainment of political power, is to see you fighting over it. Africans fight over power, which is why you have seen so many coups d’etat and civil wars in post-independent Africa. We whites consolidate power, which means we share it, to stay strong. We may have different political ideologies and parties, but we do not **** each other over political differences, not since ****** was defeated in 1945. Joshua Nkomo and Robert Mugabe will not stay friends for long. In your free South Africa, you will do the same. There will be so many African political parties opposing the ANC, parties that are too afraid to come into existence during apartheid, that we whites will not need to join in the fray. Inside whichever ruling party will come power, be it ZANU or the ANC, there will be power struggles even inside the parties themselves. You see Mr. Bopela, after the struggle against the white man, a new struggle will arise among yourselves, the struggle for power. Those who hold power in Africa come within grabbing distance of wealth. That is what the new struggle will be about….the struggle for power. Go well Mr. Bopela; I trust our meeting was a fruitful one, as they say in politics.’
I shook hands with the Superintendent and boarded my taxi. I spent that night in Bulawayo at the YMCA, 9th Avenue. I slept deeply; I was mentally exhausted and spiritually devastated. I only had one consolation, a hope, however remote. I hoped that when the ANC came into power in South Africa, we would not do the things Ron Peters had said we would do. We would learn from the experiences of other African countries, maybe Ghana and Nigeria, and avoid coups d’etat and civil wars.
In 2007 at Polokwane, we had full-blown power struggle between those who supported Thabo Mbeki and Zuma’s supporters. Mbeki lost the fight and his admirers broke away to form Cope. The politics of individuals had started in the ANC. The ANC will be going to Maungaung in December to choose new leaders. Again, it is not about which government policy will be best for South Africa; foreign policy, economic, educational, or social policy. It is about Jacob Zuma, Kgalema Motlhante; it is about Fikile Mbalula or Gwede Mantashe. Secret meetings are reported to be happening, to plot the downfall of this politician and the rise of the other one.
Why is it not about which leaders will best implement the Freedom Charter, the pivotal document? Is the contest over who will implement the Charter better? If it was about that, the struggle then would be over who can sort out the poverty, landlessness, unemployment, crime and education for the impoverished black masses. How then do we choose who the best leader would be if we do not even know who will implement which policies, and which policies are better than others? We go to Mangaung to wage a power struggle, period. President Zuma himself has admitted that ‘in the broad church the ANC is,’ there are those who now seek only power, wealth and success as individuals, not the nation. In Zimbabwe the fight between President Robert Mugabe and Morgan Tsvangirai has paralysed the country. The people of Zimbabwe, a highly-educated nation, are starving and work as garden and kitchen help in South Africa.
What the white man told me in Bulawayo in 1980 is happening right in front of my eyes. We have political power and are fighting over it, instead of consolidating it. We have an economy that is owned and controlled by them, and we are fighting over the crumbs falling from the white man’s ‘dining table’. The power struggle that raged among ANC leaders in the Western Cape cost the ANC that province, and the opposition is winning other municipalities where the ANC is squabbling instead of delivering. Is it too much to understand that the more we fight among ourselves the weaker we become, and the stronger the opposition becomes?
Thula Bopela writes in his personal capacity, and the story he has told is true; he experienced alone and thus is ultimately responsible for it.
Lorenzo Neltje Apr 2018
Her Struggle, My Struggle
The problems I left in another world
And the pieces I see her picking up
I can’t help but wonder where we differ.

Her struggle,
Games where you run, learning
To stop hiding,
To be proud and to
Love all of them.

My struggle,
Staying on top, remembering
To keep breathing
To stay strong and to
Stay hidden.

Her struggle, My struggle
The problems she faces in her world
And the pieces I fail to pick up
It’s hard to see where we differ.

Her struggle,
Walking to a school getting worse by the day
Not noticing the world fall apart around her
To stay calm isn’t
An option,
It’s a necessity she doesn’t
Know.

My struggle,
Walking to a school getting harder by the day
Painfully aware of the breaking world around us
To stay calm isn’t
Ideal, but
It’s a painful necessity
I know.

Her struggles, My struggles.
Her life, My life.
Her love, My love.
And I can’t help but wonder where we might differ.
Chirayu Writer Jul 2015
Life #struggle #success #destiny

Hello Friends today I want to share something to you and to everyone..... its very important on life...

Some stages in life we will face once for sure.....it will help for everyone for sure......

1. Hard Work always Payoff  
                                                         but it takes time and struggle...

2. There will be always tough time,
                                                                         You might give up.....

3. You Have to believe that Dream come True
                                                                        only who believe to see
                          and aim to achieve it...


4. Success is never easy, it is always Hard to keep it
                                                                ou always to be prepared..


5. But the Key is To Never Give Up
                                                   Always keep doing what u love.

You Can make a difference
                                                           you have just to try for it....

             The life is one chances might me more
                       but key is one -Hardworking.....

                  Life depends on hardworking
                        never waste your time...

     Wake up now start new journey... till it reach your     destiny.....
      
                  Write your destiny by yourself
                            by hardworking...
       result will be late but it will positive for sure ...

                                                                                                -Chirayu
Raymond Walker  Apr 2012
Amazon
Raymond Walker Apr 2012
The Dawn.



The sails hang large,
upon the sundered crew,
His father had not looked
on him with pleasure.
Poseidon’s son, and king,
of the Athenian dream,
he lands upon distant shore
in disrepair and lean.
a mighty voyage undertaken,
to gain iron for Athens might
but tide and storm wracked seas
has built upon this plight.

They land for food,
upon an endless plain
succour wanted, nay required,
lest all have been in vain.
Approach is made
by women strong in might
proud horses they sit and watch
before the sun, a glorious sight.
Amazons he knows of
they are too watched with fear
they are stronger than men he knows and watches as they near

















War queen she sits
upon her horse and awaits
these men that dare to land
But give them sanctuary she states.
her lover and second
looks in awe to the queen
these men given succour by amazons
this never has she seen







Antiope queen of all,
the plains for leagues around
Knows not a men, allows them not
but for trade on holy ground
Eluthera, freedom her name,
her second and lover same
wonders of this tall man, slim waisted,
lean, and asks his name.

Theseus he calls himself,
states his intentions and past
Antiope sits and listens and wonders
the seeds of fate are cast.
Eluthera watches Theseus’  face
and knows there is love there born
Though she believes it not,
from her home by love is Antiope torn
boats repaired and sail set
Theseus sets sail for home.
Antiope returns with him, they marry,
she is never more to roam.












Theseus song.

This woman of the plains, Amazon.
She sits her horse, sweet and proud yet strong.
She protects my honour, though tis' not her due
and speaks with eloquence no savage she.
Never before have I met my equal, in all things, man
or woman.
She is this and more
I can feel love from under her mein
This I know was destined
this even I without peer they say.
this even I understood.
yet here she stands, and walks and runs,
and here love awaits.














Elutheras song.

Here I have lived with the horse
and the sky,
who is god.
My name is freedom
and that is what I have
what can civilisation give us?
that we do not already have
what can walls provide,
that we, do not already know.
God, the sky. The horse, these our walls are.
He speaks well this Athenian, but what is speech
he looks well, but what can he give her.
She has all that there is.
and love she has, love of her sisters,
in her bed, and in our heart,
what can he give her.

Antiope's song.

To her I owe honour,
to him I give love.
what will become of this?
to her I owe love
to him i give honour,
what will become of this?
he is everything
she is everything
the plains are everything
the horse is all
yet I will betray my sisters
I know that now.
I will betray this life
I know that now
he is my equal in all
she in war I betray my people.
for love.































Part2

The tears of Eluthera.

Dripping
Burning
Hating
Loving
She must be returned
Rising
Loving
Lying
Hating
She must be returned
Rising
Rising
RISING
RISING
She must be returned
RISING
She must be returned
To her people
She must be returned
To her horses
Her gods
And me

RISING

She must be returned
They have taken her
She must be returned
She has not left













RISING

She must be returned
For they have taken her
Kidnapped, stolen her
He has taken her
Loved her
***** her
She must be returned
She is ours
She is our queen
She is
My love

RISING

Arise, sisters, arise
And let us take back what is ours
Arise, sisters, arise,
Let Athens quake at our power
Arise sisters arise
We will take back our queen
Arise sisters arise
That the might of Amazonian be seen.

We will raise an army
The greatest ever seen
To Athens and battle
For bloodshed keen
Unite the plains
And march and ride
And no quarter
Given either side.

Masii geti and copperhead
Scyths,Thracians, tower builders and
Copperhead Scyths
Dardanians, and all
The three tribes of ty kyrte ride
For Athens and revenge
To Athens and revenge.











Antiope’s song(2)

I stand here, beside pillars of stone
I watch from the acropolis
And wait
Theseus works with his people
He rules not by might
Of arms
But by deference
He holds his rule
With love
I hold the babe and watch
I can feel fate
Drawing near
I hear the thunder
Of hooves from the plains
And wait
I know he will prevail
This man I love
And wait And so I know
I will wear armour
Again
Before the end.
Before the end    
























Part 3
The battle.

Athens

We waited
We awaited their coming
Rumours formed
Rumours grew
Of a foe so strong
You can hear thunder
In their passing they say

Arm the cooks
Arm the carpenters
Athens will fall
Arm the viniers
Arm the boys
Athens will fall
The plains tribes
United they say
Athens will fall
Impossible I know They hate each other
More than us
They say

Thunder in the distance
And smoke fills the air
The dust of advance
Reaches our lair



Was that the flash of lightning?
Or glint of sun on a spear
Amazed we stand and watch
As they draw near
The lion of Athens will
Hunt now from its lair
To contend with the
War-horses baleful stare











One hundred and fifty thousand you say
One hundred and fifty thousand
One hundred and fifty thousand
Against 20 starts this day.

We arm the cooks
The carpenters,
the old men
And small boys Barely out of swaddling
Not yet finished
With their toys

We surge and struggle in the press
And surge again
Shields locked
And helms down

We surge and struggle, and they gain
And surge again
And retreat
And die
And die

Our own archers and artillery
They fire on us now
There’s no escape
There’s no escape
But forward to the press
To surge and struggle
Forward to press
Back to die
Forward to death and back
And we die
We die
We surge and struggle
Ever backwards
Ever backwards
We surge and struggle and we die
And we die










We surge and struggle
And widows are born
We surge and struggle
Like children forlorn
Ever backwards
Ever backwards
And we die
And we die

The toll is paid

We surge and struggle
But Athens will fall
Now wounded all
And dying
We surge and struggle
But hope has fled
Ever backwards
And to death

The advance of ty kyrte

We hold the field
But at great cost
We hold the field
Many horses lost

We are at the gates
But with great cost
We hold the town,
Many sisters lost

One more push sisters
One more charge
We are at the gates
Athens is lost









Back we were pushed
And back we fled
Through the town
The city streets
And fortress
Back we were pushed and back we fled




With shout and moan
Curse and groan
Clash of shield
We did yield
Every yard
With scream and yell
Fay and fell
Warriors now
We did yield
Every yard
































For every step
They paid
Like us
In blood
For every inch
They died
Like us
In mud






Horses skittered
Legs and bones broken
For every step and token
Move, every surge
And repulse
Until we stopped
Until we stopped
We could not see
We could not tell
But there was no
Where else to go
We stopped






















PART 4
The end

No where else to go,
No further back to fall
No retreat
No quarter
We stood
The battered
The bruised
The wounded and dying
We stood
For there was no choice










A commotion to the left
A horse rides out
On it rides death
And beauty
On it rides hell
And hope
On it rides Antiope
Armoured, and armed
Dressed
For death


Heroes she slew
Theseus behind her
Glauke, grey eyes
Queen was first
We advanced and slew









Kings she killed
Theseus behind her
Saduces of Thrace
Fell there, as his son
We advanced and killed.

How many heroes fell?
To her axe and bow
To many here to tell
Whispered word
Silence fell.
As Eluthera took the field
The fighting stopped
And silence grew
The battle decided here

The fate of Athens on the scales









Antiope rode for higher ground
Eluthera the lower
Antiope charged and threw
Javelin with all her power
Three times they charged
Three times they threw
And both wounded waited
A final charge, for death
They knew, the outcome fated.

There Antiope fell
By her lovers hand
Unarmed
And seeking death








Eluthera sat atop
Her steed and keened
Victor
With victory lost

Theseus faced her now
On foot and sword drawn
Deplete
And cursing fate





Theseus king no more
But husband bereft only
Maddened
Down  on her bore
There Eluthera fell.
































Twenty Years have past
fleeting,
Twenty, tears been shed
Weeping,
Twenty, lives lost,
mourning,
twenty hopes, die
burning,

The people, return,
Zeus smiles
rich in livestock
and strength.

Twenty years ago
the titans clashed.
Twenty years ago
the winds of fate lashed.
Twenty years ago
lovers died.
Twenty years ago
The Scyths lied.

Theseus, in memory,
plans sacrifice,
for his lost love,
once his wife.






Antiopes shrine
is sundered as Poseidon
shivers,
earthshaker.













And on the plains
the battle rages,
deplete,
bereft,
Eluthera, whole again,
freedom once more,
leads,
the charge,
the last charge,
of the Amazon
against the Scyths.


The End
I am kind of sorry for adding this for i wrote it years ago and well you can see for yourself it needs some work, but i do likle the idea of the classical poem
Ed Bogard  Jun 2018
Struggle
Ed Bogard Jun 2018
Do you know how hard I struggle?
Every day is hard.
Every day is a battle for us all.
I understand that everyone struggles.
I understand that many have it worse than I.
Their pain, their struggles, their battles...
they do not negate or lessen my own.
I don't need sympathy.
I don't need pity.
I do my best to give everyone empathy and understanding.
But I still struggle.
I want to be better than I am now.
I struggle to be better everyday.
I fail.
I fail often and spectacularly.
I have thought of suicide in the past.
I have considered running away and hiding from everyone and everything.
I can't.
Something inside me keeps struggling.
Something makes me face the world each day.
There are days when I can't.
Days when I retreat.
Days when I DO hide.
But I always keep going.
Even on those days I make it through another day, another hour, another minute.
I suffer.
I hurt.
I retreat.
I hide.
I do NOT stop.
I survive the pain and struggle.
You can't see it.
I can't see your struggle.
I hope you win your struggle.
I hope you know I'm cheering for you everyday.
I may not know you.
I still cheer.
I may not like you.
I still cheer.
Because everyday is a new chance.
Because every hour is a new opportunity.
Because every minute is a new moment.
I love.
I hurt.
I feel.
I grow.
You may not see it.
You may not cheer me.
You may never know the battle I face.
You will never know the struggle just to face the mirror and look into my own eyes.
I hope you cheer.
I hope you seek to understand another's struggle even if it isn't mine.
Even if you don't I still cheer for you.
Do you know how hard I struggle?
Raymond Walker  Apr 2012
Amazon
Raymond Walker Apr 2012
The Dawn.



The sails hang large,
upon the sundered crew,
His father had not looked
on him with pleasure.
Poseidon’s son, and king,
of the Athenian dream,
he lands upon distant shore
in disrepair and lean.
a mighty voyage undertaken,
to gain iron for Athens might
but tide and storm wracked seas
has built upon this plight.

They land for food,
upon an endless plain
succour wanted, nay required,
lest all have been in vain.
Approach is made
by women strong in might
proud horses they sit and watch
before the sun, a glorious sight.
Amazons he knows of
they are too watched with fear
they are stronger than men he knows and watches as they near

















War queen she sits
upon her horse and awaits
these men that dare to land
But give them sanctuary she states.
her lover and second
looks in awe to the queen
these men given succour by amazons
this never has she seen







Antiope queen of all,
the plains for leagues around
Knows not a men, allows them not
but for trade on holy ground
Eluthera, freedom her name,
her second and lover same
wonders of this tall man, slim waisted,
lean, and asks his name.

Theseus he calls himself,
states his intentions and past
Antiope sits and listens and wonders
the seeds of fate are cast.
Eluthera watches Theseus’  face
and knows there is love there born
Though she believes it not,
from her home by love is Antiope torn
boats repaired and sail set
Theseus sets sail for home.
Antiope returns with him, they marry,
she is never more to roam.












Theseus song.

This woman of the plains, Amazon.
She sits her horse, sweet and proud yet strong.
She protects my honour, though tis' not her due
and speaks with eloquence no savage she.
Never before have I met my equal, in all things, man
or woman.
She is this and more
I can feel love from under her mein
This I know was destined
this even I without peer they say.
this even I understood.
yet here she stands, and walks and runs,
and here love awaits.














Elutheras song.

Here I have lived with the horse
and the sky,
who is god.
My name is freedom
and that is what I have
what can civilisation give us?
that we do not already have
what can walls provide,
that we, do not already know.
God, the sky. The horse, these our walls are.
He speaks well this Athenian, but what is speech
he looks well, but what can he give her.
She has all that there is.
and love she has, love of her sisters,
in her bed, and in our heart,
what can he give her.

Antiope's song.

To her I owe honour,
to him I give love.
what will become of this?
to her I owe love
to him i give honour,
what will become of this?
he is everything
she is everything
the plains are everything
the horse is all
yet I will betray my sisters
I know that now.
I will betray this life
I know that now
he is my equal in all
she in war I betray my people.
for love.































Part2

The tears of Eluthera.

Dripping
Burning
Hating
Loving
She must be returned
Rising
Loving
Lying
Hating
She must be returned
Rising
Rising
RISING
RISING
She must be returned
RISING
She must be returned
To her people
She must be returned
To her horses
Her gods
And me

RISING

She must be returned
They have taken her
She must be returned
She has not left













RISING

She must be returned
For they have taken her
Kidnapped, stolen her
He has taken her
Loved her
***** her
She must be returned
She is ours
She is our queen
She is
My love

RISING

Arise, sisters, arise
And let us take back what is ours
Arise, sisters, arise,
Let Athens quake at our power
Arise sisters arise
We will take back our queen
Arise sisters arise
That the might of Amazonian be seen.

We will raise an army
The greatest ever seen
To Athens and battle
For bloodshed keen
Unite the plains
And march and ride
And no quarter
Given either side.

Masii geti and copperhead
Scyths,Thracians, tower builders and
Copperhead Scyths
Dardanians, and all
The three tribes of ty kyrte ride
For Athens and revenge
To Athens and revenge.











Antiope’s song(2)

I stand here, beside pillars of stone
I watch from the acropolis
And wait
Theseus works with his people
He rules not by might
Of arms
But by deference
He holds his rule
With love
I hold the babe and watch
I can feel fate
Drawing near
I hear the thunder
Of hooves from the plains
And wait
I know he will prevail
This man I love
And wait And so I know
I will wear armour
Again
Before the end.
Before the end    
























Part 3
The battle.

Athens

We waited
We awaited their coming
Rumours formed
Rumours grew
Of a foe so strong
You can hear thunder
In their passing they say

Arm the cooks
Arm the carpenters
Athens will fall
Arm the viniers
Arm the boys
Athens will fall
The plains tribes
United they say
Athens will fall
Impossible I know They hate each other
More than us
They say

Thunder in the distance
And smoke fills the air
The dust of advance
Reaches our lair



Was that the flash of lightning?
Or glint of sun on a spear
Amazed we stand and watch
As they draw near
The lion of Athens will
Hunt now from its lair
To contend with the
War-horses baleful stare











One hundred and fifty thousand you say
One hundred and fifty thousand
One hundred and fifty thousand
Against 20 starts this day.

We arm the cooks
The carpenters,
the old men
And small boys Barely out of swaddling
Not yet finished
With their toys

We surge and struggle in the press
And surge again
Shields locked
And helms down

We surge and struggle, and they gain
And surge again
And retreat
And die
And die

Our own archers and artillery
They fire on us now
There’s no escape
There’s no escape
But forward to the press
To surge and struggle
Forward to press
Back to die
Forward to death and back
And we die
We die
We surge and struggle
Ever backwards
Ever backwards
We surge and struggle and we die
And we die










We surge and struggle
And widows are born
We surge and struggle
Like children forlorn
Ever backwards
Ever backwards
And we die
And we die

The toll is paid

We surge and struggle
But Athens will fall
Now wounded all
And dying
We surge and struggle
But hope has fled
Ever backwards
And to death

The advance of ty kyrte

We hold the field
But at great cost
We hold the field
Many horses lost

We are at the gates
But with great cost
We hold the town,
Many sisters lost

One more push sisters
One more charge
We are at the gates
Athens is lost









Back we were pushed
And back we fled
Through the town
The city streets
And fortress
Back we were pushed and back we fled




With shout and moan
Curse and groan
Clash of shield
We did yield
Every yard
With scream and yell
Fay and fell
Warriors now
We did yield
Every yard
































For every step
They paid
Like us
In blood
For every inch
They died
Like us
In mud






Horses skittered
Legs and bones broken
For every step and token
Move, every surge
And repulse
Until we stopped
Until we stopped
We could not see
We could not tell
But there was no
Where else to go
We stopped






















PART 4
The end

No where else to go,
No further back to fall
No retreat
No quarter
We stood
The battered
The bruised
The wounded and dying
We stood
For there was no choice










A commotion to the left
A horse rides out
On it rides death
And beauty
On it rides hell
And hope
On it rides Antiope
Armoured, and armed
Dressed
For death


Heroes she slew
Theseus behind her
Glauke, grey eyes
Queen was first
We advanced and slew









Kings she killed
Theseus behind her
Saduces of Thrace
Fell there, as his son
We advanced and killed.

How many heroes fell?
To her axe and bow
To many here to tell
Whispered word
Silence fell.
As Eluthera took the field
The fighting stopped
And silence grew
The battle decided here

The fate of Athens on the scales









Antiope rode for higher ground
Eluthera the lower
Antiope charged and threw
Javelin with all her power
Three times they charged
Three times they threw
And both wounded waited
A final charge, for death
They knew, the outcome fated.

There Antiope fell
By her lovers hand
Unarmed
And seeking death








Eluthera sat atop
Her steed and keened
Victor
With victory lost

Theseus faced her now
On foot and sword drawn
Deplete
And cursing fate





Theseus king no more
But husband bereft only
Maddened
Down  on her bore
There Eluthera fell.
































Twenty Years have past
fleeting,
Twenty, tears been shed
Weeping,
Twenty, lives lost,
mourning,
twenty hopes, die
burning,

The people, return,
Zeus smiles
rich in livestock
and strength.

Twenty years ago
the titans clashed.
Twenty years ago
the winds of fate lashed.
Twenty years ago
lovers died.
Twenty years ago
The Scyths lied.

Theseus, in memory,
plans sacrifice,
for his lost love,
once his wife.






Antiopes shrine
is sundered as Poseidon
shivers,
earthshaker.













And on the plains
the battle rages,
deplete,
bereft,
Eluthera, whole again,
freedom once more,
leads,
the charge,
the last charge,
of the Amazon
against the Scyths.


The End
I am kind of sorry for adding this for i wrote it years ago and well you can see for yourself it needs some work, but i do likle the idea of the classical poem
Raymond Walker  Apr 2012
Amazon
Raymond Walker Apr 2012
The Dawn.



The sails hang large,
upon the sundered crew,
His father had not looked
on him with pleasure.
Poseidon’s son, and king,
of the Athenian dream,
he lands upon distant shore
in disrepair and lean.
a mighty voyage undertaken,
to gain iron for Athens might
but tide and storm wracked seas
has built upon this plight.

They land for food,
upon an endless plain
succour wanted, nay required,
lest all have been in vain.
Approach is made
by women strong in might
proud horses they sit and watch
before the sun, a glorious sight.
Amazons he knows of
they are too watched with fear
they are stronger than men he knows and watches as they near

















War queen she sits
upon her horse and awaits
these men that dare to land
But give them sanctuary she states.
her lover and second
looks in awe to the queen
these men given succour by amazons
this never has she seen







Antiope queen of all,
the plains for leagues around
Knows not a men, allows them not
but for trade on holy ground
Eluthera, freedom her name,
her second and lover same
wonders of this tall man, slim waisted,
lean, and asks his name.

Theseus he calls himself,
states his intentions and past
Antiope sits and listens and wonders
the seeds of fate are cast.
Eluthera watches Theseus’  face
and knows there is love there born
Though she believes it not,
from her home by love is Antiope torn
boats repaired and sail set
Theseus sets sail for home.
Antiope returns with him, they marry,
she is never more to roam.












Theseus song.

This woman of the plains, Amazon.
She sits her horse, sweet and proud yet strong.
She protects my honour, though tis' not her due
and speaks with eloquence no savage she.
Never before have I met my equal, in all things, man
or woman.
She is this and more
I can feel love from under her mein
This I know was destined
this even I without peer they say.
this even I understood.
yet here she stands, and walks and runs,
and here love awaits.














Elutheras song.

Here I have lived with the horse
and the sky,
who is god.
My name is freedom
and that is what I have
what can civilisation give us?
that we do not already have
what can walls provide,
that we, do not already know.
God, the sky. The horse, these our walls are.
He speaks well this Athenian, but what is speech
he looks well, but what can he give her.
She has all that there is.
and love she has, love of her sisters,
in her bed, and in our heart,
what can he give her.

Antiope's song.

To her I owe honour,
to him I give love.
what will become of this?
to her I owe love
to him i give honour,
what will become of this?
he is everything
she is everything
the plains are everything
the horse is all
yet I will betray my sisters
I know that now.
I will betray this life
I know that now
he is my equal in all
she in war I betray my people.
for love.































Part2

The tears of Eluthera.

Dripping
Burning
Hating
Loving
She must be returned
Rising
Loving
Lying
Hating
She must be returned
Rising
Rising
RISING
RISING
She must be returned
RISING
She must be returned
To her people
She must be returned
To her horses
Her gods
And me

RISING

She must be returned
They have taken her
She must be returned
She has not left













RISING

She must be returned
For they have taken her
Kidnapped, stolen her
He has taken her
Loved her
***** her
She must be returned
She is ours
She is our queen
She is
My love

RISING

Arise, sisters, arise
And let us take back what is ours
Arise, sisters, arise,
Let Athens quake at our power
Arise sisters arise
We will take back our queen
Arise sisters arise
That the might of Amazonian be seen.

We will raise an army
The greatest ever seen
To Athens and battle
For bloodshed keen
Unite the plains
And march and ride
And no quarter
Given either side.

Masii geti and copperhead
Scyths,Thracians, tower builders and
Copperhead Scyths
Dardanians, and all
The three tribes of ty kyrte ride
For Athens and revenge
To Athens and revenge.











Antiope’s song(2)

I stand here, beside pillars of stone
I watch from the acropolis
And wait
Theseus works with his people
He rules not by might
Of arms
But by deference
He holds his rule
With love
I hold the babe and watch
I can feel fate
Drawing near
I hear the thunder
Of hooves from the plains
And wait
I know he will prevail
This man I love
And wait And so I know
I will wear armour
Again
Before the end.
Before the end    
























Part 3
The battle.

Athens

We waited
We awaited their coming
Rumours formed
Rumours grew
Of a foe so strong
You can hear thunder
In their passing they say

Arm the cooks
Arm the carpenters
Athens will fall
Arm the viniers
Arm the boys
Athens will fall
The plains tribes
United they say
Athens will fall
Impossible I know They hate each other
More than us
They say

Thunder in the distance
And smoke fills the air
The dust of advance
Reaches our lair



Was that the flash of lightning?
Or glint of sun on a spear
Amazed we stand and watch
As they draw near
The lion of Athens will
Hunt now from its lair
To contend with the
War-horses baleful stare











One hundred and fifty thousand you say
One hundred and fifty thousand
One hundred and fifty thousand
Against 20 starts this day.

We arm the cooks
The carpenters,
the old men
And small boys Barely out of swaddling
Not yet finished
With their toys

We surge and struggle in the press
And surge again
Shields locked
And helms down

We surge and struggle, and they gain
And surge again
And retreat
And die
And die

Our own archers and artillery
They fire on us now
There’s no escape
There’s no escape
But forward to the press
To surge and struggle
Forward to press
Back to die
Forward to death and back
And we die
We die
We surge and struggle
Ever backwards
Ever backwards
We surge and struggle and we die
And we die










We surge and struggle
And widows are born
We surge and struggle
Like children forlorn
Ever backwards
Ever backwards
And we die
And we die

The toll is paid

We surge and struggle
But Athens will fall
Now wounded all
And dying
We surge and struggle
But hope has fled
Ever backwards
And to death

The advance of ty kyrte

We hold the field
But at great cost
We hold the field
Many horses lost

We are at the gates
But with great cost
We hold the town,
Many sisters lost

One more push sisters
One more charge
We are at the gates
Athens is lost









Back we were pushed
And back we fled
Through the town
The city streets
And fortress
Back we were pushed and back we fled




With shout and moan
Curse and groan
Clash of shield
We did yield
Every yard
With scream and yell
Fay and fell
Warriors now
We did yield
Every yard
































For every step
They paid
Like us
In blood
For every inch
They died
Like us
In mud






Horses skittered
Legs and bones broken
For every step and token
Move, every surge
And repulse
Until we stopped
Until we stopped
We could not see
We could not tell
But there was no
Where else to go
We stopped






















PART 4
The end

No where else to go,
No further back to fall
No retreat
No quarter
We stood
The battered
The bruised
The wounded and dying
We stood
For there was no choice










A commotion to the left
A horse rides out
On it rides death
And beauty
On it rides hell
And hope
On it rides Antiope
Armoured, and armed
Dressed
For death


Heroes she slew
Theseus behind her
Glauke, grey eyes
Queen was first
We advanced and slew









Kings she killed
Theseus behind her
Saduces of Thrace
Fell there, as his son
We advanced and killed.

How many heroes fell?
To her axe and bow
To many here to tell
Whispered word
Silence fell.
As Eluthera took the field
The fighting stopped
And silence grew
The battle decided here

The fate of Athens on the scales









Antiope rode for higher ground
Eluthera the lower
Antiope charged and threw
Javelin with all her power
Three times they charged
Three times they threw
And both wounded waited
A final charge, for death
They knew, the outcome fated.

There Antiope fell
By her lovers hand
Unarmed
And seeking death








Eluthera sat atop
Her steed and keened
Victor
With victory lost

Theseus faced her now
On foot and sword drawn
Deplete
And cursing fate





Theseus king no more
But husband bereft only
Maddened
Down  on her bore
There Eluthera fell.
































Twenty Years have past
fleeting,
Twenty, tears been shed
Weeping,
Twenty, lives lost,
mourning,
twenty hopes, die
burning,

The people, return,
Zeus smiles
rich in livestock
and strength.

Twenty years ago
the titans clashed.
Twenty years ago
the winds of fate lashed.
Twenty years ago
lovers died.
Twenty years ago
The Scyths lied.

Theseus, in memory,
plans sacrifice,
for his lost love,
once his wife.






Antiopes shrine
is sundered as Poseidon
shivers,
earthshaker.













And on the plains
the battle rages,
deplete,
bereft,
Eluthera, whole again,
freedom once more,
leads,
the charge,
the last charge,
of the Amazon
against the Scyths.


The End
I am kind of sorry for adding this for i wrote it years ago and well you can see for yourself it needs some work, but i do likle the idea of the classical poem

— The End —