I am waiting for her.

Arid responses will not encourage me,
Married to some stranger I shall not be.

But before you marry me,
Obviously, you should love me,
Right now I'm bereft of true love,
Erase my grief, don't be tacit,
Don't be brief, it's not implicit.

Away from me,
Lonely she's not,
Only sincere to life,
Not distracted by me,
Easy it's not to entice her.

Air in the room suffocates me,
So does my anonymity.

Hailing from the metro,
Early it is for her, a tad bit,
Love can certainly wait,
Love can surely grow.

But for her, I'll get an Enticer,
Up to her, I'll make it,
That's a promise to myself.

Her lips I'll long for,
Oh, not for a kiss,
Personally for some words,
Especially of admiration.

Thoughtful she's not,
Okay I'm not.

Beautiful dreams take time,
Especially as I'm weaving them alone.

Life, it gave me lemons,
Of all, I can't just make a lemonade,
Validation and I need some love too,
Efforts I put need validation,
Don't keep me deprived of love and attention.

Not noticed from beginning
Parallel parked car
Windshield tinted
Stickered bumper
Wiping tears to collect in a jar
Nails chewed at the ends
Watching through small panes of glass
Fence of fear put between us
Fighting demons that harass
About whether to halt or flee
Butterflies telling lies
Distance will take away secrets
Conscious is cut down to size
Said you couldn't believe luck
Being with a girl like me
Something darkening your pupils
Smelled hint of sour finally
Cheeks flushed crimson with blood and shame
Plans cancelled out of the blue
Sorry said like it was not a big deal
Worked before a time or two
Did you suspect me to be that gullible?
That I would not check your alibi?
You think I'd be easy to forget
With **** of your head said goodbye
Still going through worst every day
Loneliness deeper than the sea
Sensing lost connection dwindling fast
Increasing intake
Caffeine and vitamin c
Maybe were chained to my skeleton
Hanging on because you had no choice
You weren't playing me the whole time
Rendezvous and secrets shared your voice
As I drink insecurities
You in a hurry go out the front door
Follow and find out where you drive
Heart was needing to understand more
It may be too late presently for us
I still hold hope for you and I
If I cross your mind at all please can we just try?

Knuckles go white as I grip my rescue flair
Read the warning through a blinkless stare
Pressed the thing tightly to my temple,
Count to three,
To keep it simple
Hold very still,
Steady as a thimble
'Till the very last second
Pull away on the second e in "one, two, three"
And release it to the night air
At least tonight the fight's fare
I can't make it to there
If I don't end this right here

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